Burnt-out team of 1 seriously considering FMLA
long-time lurker, first time poster.
I‘m a copywriter for a marketing agency and have been with this company over 4 years. In the beginning, things were good. New job energy and a decent culture. But things took a turn and I’ve been struggling with burnout for probably 2 years.
As the only copywriter, my workload is often more than enough for 2 people. About a year ago, someone was hired to also be a copywriter, but they end up being more of a problem and it takes the company a year to let them go. I’m back to being a team of one, working nights and weekends to try and keep up with my workload. I voice my concerns to my manager, only to be met with ”do the best you can.“ My mental and physical health are declining. It’s 2 am and I’m here venting because I can’t sleep, feeling anxious about how to get multiple hours-long projects done on time. I can’t push back on deadlines because there’s no one else who does my job. I feel so taken advantage of.
I don’t have the energy to do much outside of work. Everything but watching TV feels like too much effort. I have diagnosed mental health conditions and my therapist said they’d support me with FMLA. My partner makes more than enough to support us, but I’m scared of not having an income. I’ve been applying to jobs for 2 years now. I get some interviews, but there’s always ”someone whose skills are a better match.”
I’m tired and want to enjoy life again.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you’re going through this. There is a specific, soul-crushing exhaustion that comes from being a "team of one" at an agency—especially when you’ve already tried to sound the alarm and were met with the corporate equivalent of a shrug.
When your manager says "do the best you can" while you're working 2:00 AM shifts, they aren't supporting you; they are effectively telling you that they are comfortable letting you burn out as long as the work gets done.
If your therapist is already offering to back your FMLA claim, you aren't just "tired"—you are in a medical crisis. Here is a breakdown of how to look at this move:
1. FMLA is Your "Circuit Breaker"
FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) isn't a vacation; it’s a legal protection designed exactly for this.
The Job Protection: It keeps your position (or an equivalent one) safe for up to 12 weeks.
The Clarity: Taking 4 to 6 weeks off will do more for your job search than 2 years of "zombie" applying. When you are this burnt out, you don't interview well because your brain is in survival mode. You need the "reset" to actually present the best version of yourself to new employers.
The Income Gap: You mentioned being scared of losing income despite your partner's support. Check if your company has Short-Term Disability (STD). While FMLA is unpaid at the federal level, many agency insurance plans include STD, which often pays 60-80% of your salary while you are on medical leave for mental health.
2. The "Only Copywriter" Guilt
You mentioned you can’t push back because "there’s no one else." Respectfully, that is not your problem. * If you were hit by a bus tomorrow, the agency would find a freelancer within 48 hours.
By overworking yourself to cover the gap, you are actually "fixing" the problem for management, which gives them zero incentive to hire a second writer.
Taking FMLA forces the agency to realize the structural flaw in their staffing. They will have to hire a contractor, and the world will not end.
3. Reclaiming Your Life
If "watching TV" is the only thing you have energy for, your "creative well" is completely dry. As a copywriter, your brain is your inventory. Right now, your inventory is empty.
Immediate Next Steps
Talk to HR, not your manager: You don't need your manager's "permission" for FMLA. Ask HR for the FMLA/Short-Term Disability paperwork.
Set a "Hard Stop": Since you’re already considering leaving, start practicing "radical boundaries." Stop the 2:00 AM sessions. If a project is late, it's late. Use that time to sleep or fill out the leave paperwork.
Listen to your Therapist: They see the decline from an objective distance. If they are recommending leave, it’s because the clinical indicators of burnout are likely hitting dangerous levels.
The Reality Check: You’ve been applying for 2 years while running on empty. It is incredibly hard to land a job when you're projecting "exhausted and desperate" (even subconsciously).
A little bit of venting, and a little bit of advice needed.
So to preface my story, I am chronically ill, suffering from multiple GI and mental health issues that have been professionally diagnosed by medical professionals.
I lost a nice estimating job that I had for over 4 years last Christmas due to my health issues causing me to miss an excessive amount of work. The company was honestly great and did everything they could to accommodate before letting me go and I hold no ill will towards them. They even said if I can get my issues fixed and become stable they would hire me back. But I started the hellish task of finding a new job come January. Hundreds of applications later and I ended up getting a call back from a fundraising company.
I hate talking on the phone, but took the job because it was remote and I needed any sort of income. The interview went well enough and while I wasn't excited, I was relieved I found a job within a month or so.
A couple weeks in and my GI issues started to flare up again. I had to take multiple days off work multiple times. I got doctor's notes each time per their policy and figured everything was good. The whole time since I started I could feel my mental health getting worse because of the way this company was ran. Based through Slack, lack of reliable communication from supervisors (I had to ask them 4 times how to get a copy of my paystub so I could send it in for insurance purposes, almost missing the insurance deadline). Shoddy training (again, spoke up and asked if I could get retrained on something because I didn't fully understand their system). High expectations even with all the issues. They even posted a "wall of shame" post in the public group with names of employees that weren't hitting their goals.
I then get a message last Friday saying my attendance was bad and I wasn't hitting the hours I needed. I had given them a note (unofficial start to FMLA) saying that I wouldn't be able to constantly work the full hours they needed and would need to be accommodated. I could tell while discussing with that supervisor that they wanted me to quit so they didn't have to fire me. I told them that I needed the income and while I couldn't promise the full hours they wanted me to work, I'd show up when I could and would get a note every time I needed to call out. In the middle of this conversation I was removed from the group and private chat and ghosted. No official notice of firing, no call saying what happened, nothing.
Now honestly, I'm glad I don't have to go back and work there, but would that be considered wrongful termination/discrimination and does anyone think I should try and get a lawyer? I was only working part time and like I said above, I wasn't getting many hours due to my illness so my pay wasn't that great, but the way it was handled was extremely unprofessional and I am kind of at a loss on what to do.
Jobadvisor
That sounds like an absolute nightmare, and I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with a "Wall of Shame" culture while managing chronic illness. That isn't just unprofessional; it’s a toxic management style that would drain a perfectly healthy person, let alone someone managing GI and mental health flares.
To answer your question about a lawyer, we have to look at the cold, hard math of employment law—specifically FMLA and the ADA.
1. The FMLA Problem
Unfortunately, FMLA likely wouldn't protect you here. To be eligible for FMLA, you generally must have worked for the employer for at least 12 months and logged at least 1,250 hours. Since you were only there for a few weeks and working part-time, you haven't hit those federal benchmarks yet.
2. The ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act)
This is where it gets more relevant. Under the ADA, employers are required to provide "reasonable accommodations" for employees with disabilities (including chronic GI issues).
The Catch: "Showing up when I can" or having an unpredictable schedule is often legally classified as an "undue hardship" for an employer, especially in a role like fundraising where they rely on specific "butts-in-seats" hours to hit targets.
The "Interactive Process": The law requires a back-and-forth conversation to find a middle ground. By ghosting you and removing you from Slack mid-conversation, they likely bypassed this legal requirement.
3. Is it worth a lawyer?
Being "unprofessional" or "mean" isn't illegal, but "ghosting" an employee who is actively requesting medical accommodation is a massive red flag. However, there are two hurdles:
Damages: Since you were only there a short time and weren't earning much, a lawyer might see the "payout" as too small to justify a contingency case.
At-Will Employment: In most states, they can fire you for "poor attendance" even if that attendance is due to illness, provided they didn't officially grant an accommodation first.
What You Should Do Right Now
File for Unemployment Immediately: Do not wait. Being "ghosted" or removed from systems is a De Facto Discharge. On your application, state that you were terminated. If the company contests it saying you "quit," you have the Slack logs (hopefully) showing they cut your access while you were still trying to work.
The "Paper Trail" Email: Send one final email to their HR or your supervisor’s company email (not Slack).
"I am following up as my access to company systems was removed on Friday during our discussion regarding my medical accommodations. Please clarify my current employment status and provide my final paycheck and tax documentation to [your address]."
Contact the EEOC: Instead of paying for a private lawyer, you can file a "Charge of Discrimination" with the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). It's free. They will investigate if the company failed to engage in the "interactive process" for your disability.
A Note of Empathy: It sounds like this job was a terrible fit for your health from day one. Fundraising is high-stress and high-volume—the exact opposite of what a GI flare needs.
I’m 30 years old. Should I join the military if I can’t support myself?
I’m 30 years old. I graduated college last year in Biomed and can’t find a job. I’m really tired of struggling at this point. I work two jobs and I only make 50k a year(unrelated to my field). I also live in an expensive area so 50k is pretty much peanuts.
There’s no basically no entry level jobs across the board. The only way I’ve gotten interviews is when I used A.I and lie on my resume. The very small chance I get interviews in my field I get passed up for someone else. On top of wasting gas money.
Just very defeated living in the U.S. I feel like there’s no way to get ahead and start a career. My best friend from high school joined the Army in 2021 and he’s in Germany living very well. I decided to take the college route and this shit hasn’t panned out.
Jobadvisor
It is completely understandable that you feel defeated. You did what society told you to do—got the "difficult" STEM degree—only to find yourself working two jobs just to keep your head above water. It feels like a bait-and-switch.
At 30, you aren't "too old," but you are at a different life stage than the 18-year-old recruits. Joining the military with a Biomedical Sciences degree is a very different game than joining with just a high school diploma.
Here is the strategic breakdown of how to look at this:
1. Enlisted vs. Officer (The "College Route" Payoff)
Since you have a degree, do not just walk into a recruiter's office and sign up to be an E-1 (Private).
Commission as an Officer: With a Biomed degree, you should look into becoming an Officer. The pay difference is massive. An O-1 (Second Lieutenant) makes significantly more than an E-1, and your quality of life (housing, respect, responsibilities) is much higher.
Direct Commission/Medical Service Corps: Look specifically at the Army Medical Service Corps or the Air Force Biomedical Sciences Corps. They need people with your exact background to run labs, handle environmental science, or manage medical logistics.
2. The Financial Reality Check
The military doesn't just pay a salary; it removes your biggest expenses:
BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing): This is a tax-free stipend for rent. In an "expensive area," this can be an extra $2,000–$4,000 per month on top of your base pay.
Healthcare: Zero premiums, zero deductibles. If you’re currently paying for your own health insurance out of that $50k, this is an immediate "raise."
Student Loans: Look into the Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) or specific military loan repayment programs.
3. The "Germany" Dream vs. Reality
Your friend in Germany is living the "Big Army" life. While the military can take you to cool places, it can also put you in a windowless room in Fort Cavazos, Texas.
The Air Force generally has the best quality of life and "hospitals" that look like corporate offices. Given your degree, the Air Force or the Space Force should be your first stops. They value tech and science backgrounds more than the other branches.
4. The Downsides to Consider at 30
Loss of Autonomy: You are told when to wake up, what to wear, and where to live. At 30, being screamed at by a 22-year-old drill sergeant can be a bitter pill to swallow.
Physical Toll: Basic training is harder on a 30-year-old body than an 18-year-old one. You'll need to start training now.
Comparison Table: $50k Civilian vs. O-1 Military
| Benefit | Current (Two Jobs) | Military (O-1 Officer) |
| Gross Pay | $50,000 | ~$45,000 (Base) + ~$25,000 (Tax-free Housing/Food) |
| Tax Burden | Taxed on all $50k | Only taxed on Base Pay (~$45k) |
| Health Insurance | High Deductible/Monthly Cost | $0 |
| Career Path | Stagnant/Unrelated to degree | Direct experience in Biomed/Medical Tech |
The Verdict: If you are using AI to lie on resumes and still barely clearing rent, the military isn't a "defeat"—it’s a lateral move into a stable career. It provides the "entry-level" experience that the civilian sector is currently refusing to give you.
Once you finish a 4-year contract as a Medical Service Officer, your resume will be "vetted" by the U.S. Government. You won't have to lie to get past the filters anymore.
My 45 year old mother has been a housewife for the past 15 years. Now she wants to work to contribute to the family. What job could she get in today's terrible job market with 0 experience?
My mother was Indian, she got a bachelor's and master's degree in electrical engineering from some random college in India, then she worked as a lecturer for a few years before moving to the US, where she has been a housewife for the past 15 or so years. She's been a US citizen for quite a while now.
Now she's getting bored at home and wants to work to contribute to the family. She wants a job that pays more than minimum wage, and to get one, she is willing to do courses/certification that take 6 months or a year. However, she has had 0 experience in the past 15 years and no skills whatsoever, because she has completely forgotten whatever she learned in college.
Is it possible in today's terrible job market? A few options friends have recommended so far are receptionists (but due to my mother's weak English, she eliminated this), something called an SAP consultant, something to do with Power BI, and the person who works with ophthalmologists as an assistant.
Also some friends are recommending adding 4 or so years of fake experience on the resume. I told her that recruiters can easily find out whether you have experience or not, but she won't listen. (Lol she has a point I'm 15 what would I know)
We live in Plano, Texas if it matters.
Jobadvisor
This is a classic "Returnship" scenario. Your mom isn't starting from "zero"—she’s starting from "hidden." An Electrical Engineering (EE) degree, even from 15 years ago, proves she has a high capacity for logic and complex systems. That doesn't go away, even if she’s forgotten the specific calculus.
Plano, Texas is a massive tech hub (Toyota, Samsung, TI), so she is in the right place. Here is the realistic breakdown for her.
1. The "Fake Experience" Trap
You are 100% right. Do not let her add fake experience. * The Background Check: Most US mid-to-large companies use services like HireRight or Sterling. They verify dates of employment directly with previous HR departments or through tax records. If she gets caught, she'll be blacklisted from that company (and often its recruiters) forever.
The Interview: If she claims to have been a Senior SAP Consultant for 4 years, the interviewer will ask deep, technical questions. If she can’t answer them, it’s an immediate, awkward "no."
The Better Way: She should list her 15-year gap as "Household Management & Family Logistics" or simply own the gap. In 2026, "Returnships" (internships for adults returning to the workforce) are very popular.
2. High-Potential Career Paths (Plano-Friendly)
Option A: Ophthalmic Assistant (The Safe Bet)
This was a great suggestion from her friends. It’s "recession-proof" and very common in the Plano/North Dallas medical corridor.
The Job: You perform the initial eye tests before the doctor comes in.
The Path: She can start as an "Uncertified" assistant in many private practices. They will train her on the job.
The Certification: She can study for her COA (Certified Ophthalmic Assistant) while working.
Pay: Usually $19–$24/hour in Dallas.
It’s clean, professional, and low-stress compared to tech.
Option B: Power BI / Data Analyst (The "EE Degree" Path)
Since she has an engineering background, her brain is wired for data.
The Job: Taking raw company data and making pretty, useful charts so bosses can make decisions.
The Path: She should take the "Microsoft Certified: Power BI Data Analyst Associate" (PL-300).
It takes about 3–6 months of solid study. The Edge: Being in Plano, she can apply to junior roles at big firms. She should emphasize her EE degree to prove she’s "math-capable."
Option C: Technical Support / IT Fundamentals
If she is tech-savvy enough to use a computer, companies like NPower (which has a North Texas branch) offer free or low-cost tech training for stay-at-home parents and veterans.
The Path: Get a CompTIA A+ or Google IT Support Certificate.
The Job: Help Desk or Junior Systems Admin.
3. Addressing the "Weak English"
If she is worried about her English, a high-volume receptionist job would be a nightmare. However, in an engineering or data role, the "language" is math, code, and diagrams.
Action: Encourage her to join a Toastmasters club in Plano. There are many specifically for South Asian professionals. It will build her confidence for interviews.
4. Strategic Advice for your Mom
The "Returnship": Tell her to search LinkedIn for "Returnship" or "Return to Work" programs. Companies like Texas Instruments (right next door!) often have programs for engineers who took a long break.
The "Random" Degree: In the US, an EE degree from India is still an EE degree. She should get her transcripts evaluated by a service like WES (World Education Services) so she can prove it’s equivalent to a US degree.
The Project Portfolio: If she chooses Power BI or SAP, she needs to show, not tell. She should build 3-4 "dashboards" using public data and put them on a simple website or LinkedIn. That "shows" skill better than 4 years of fake experience ever could.
The Verdict: She should avoid the SAP route for now—it's very complex and usually requires a lot of prior business process knowledge. Ophthalmic Assistant is the fastest way to a paycheck; Power BI is the best way to a high-paying career.