Stuck in a 2–3 year cycle of burnout at every job — what am I missing?
Looking for some career advice or perspective.
I started my career in 2012 in commercial real estate asset management. I loved the work at first, but the team eventually got cut down and I had a tough relationship with my manager that created a lot of anxiety.
Since then I’ve worked at a few different places: another CRE firm, a large telecom REIT (where things were actually great for a while), a startup in the residential mortgage space, and now I’m a corporate real estate portfolio manager.
The pattern I’m noticing is that every job starts off well, but around the 2–3 year mark something shifts — either bad management, restructuring, layoffs, or I start feeling burned out and anxious again. I just finished my MBA and I’m actively thinking about my next move, but I’m wondering if I’m missing something bigger here.
Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this 2–3 year career cycle, and if so what helped you break out of it?
Jobadvisor
It is incredibly common, especially in high-pressure sectors like Commercial Real Estate (CRE) and Finance, to hit a "wall" at the 24-to-36-month mark. You aren't "missing" a piece of your brain; you are likely experiencing a combination of industry volatility and a behavioral feedback loop.
The fact that you just finished your MBA while working a high-performance role is a massive achievement, but it also means your "baseline" stress level has been pinned at 100% for years.
Here is a breakdown of why this 3-year cycle happens and how to potentially break it.
1. The "High-Performer" Trap
In your first year, you are the "savior." You survived the gauntlet, you’re learning, and every win feels huge. By year three:
Reward for good work is more work: You’ve become the "go-to" person. Efficiency is rewarded with higher volume, not more rest.
The Novelty Fades: The intellectual stimulation of a new portfolio or asset class drops off, leaving only the administrative grind and the office politics.
2. The CRE Industry Cycle
You’ve worked in Telecom REITs, Residential Mortgages, and Asset Management. These are pro-cyclical industries. * They are hypersensitive to interest rates and market shifts.
Restructuring and layoffs aren't a reflection of you; they are a feature of the sector.
If you’ve experienced "multiple layoffs in your 20s," your nervous system is likely stuck in hyper-vigilance, waiting for the floor to drop every time you hit the 2-year mark.
3. The "New Job" High vs. "Mid-Term" Reality
Many people use a new job as a "reset button" for burnout. It works for a while because you have a clean slate. But if you don't change how you work (boundaries, saying no, detachment), you simply import the same burnout habits into a new building.
How to Break the Cycle
| Strategy | Action Step |
| The "80% Rule" | Stop giving 110% daily. Aim for a consistent 80%. This leaves you a 20% "buffer" for when real crises hit so you don't red-line. |
| Shift the "Why" | Since you have your MBA, look for roles in Internal Corporate Real Estate for stable non-real estate giants (Tech, Healthcare, Pharma). They view RE as a cost center to be managed, not a profit lever, which is often less "churn and burn." |
| Boundary Setting | If you are "paranoid every day," you are likely over-functioning to prove your worth. Practice letting small, non-critical things slide to see that the world doesn't end. |
| The "Three-Year Itch" Audit | Every 2 years, do a "Stay Interview" with yourself. Ask: "Is the environment toxic, or am I just tired?" If you're just tired, a 2-week total disconnect vacation is cheaper than a job hunt. |
A Note on Tomorrow
Given your pattern, it’s possible your brain is interpreting a weird payroll glitch as a "3-year cycle" omen. Even if tomorrow is a layoff, your MBA and your 12 years of experience make you a powerhouse candidate. You are not the same person you were in your 20s.
Are they trying to push me out?
Work has been pretty horrible for me lately and I have feeling the company wants me to quit or are pushing me towards it.
It’s been 2 years working here and I’ve been getting the same feedback every single time I’ve asked them for it which revolves somewhere along the lines of I’m an introvert and I don’t talk much. That may have been true when I joined since this is my first job but over a period of time I’ve seen myself change and develop but the leadership team continues to hold the same perception regardless of the output.
I also got an average appraisal despite the output that I got in. When I asked about the rating, I was told some lame reasons that weren’t true at all and when I tried to reason I was made to shut up.
The worst that hits me is all my colleagues are getting new roles this year and it REALLY sucks for me. In fact, they’ve already started with the new role and I’m still stuck where I was 2 years back.
I have tried to have role conversations over last year but been given very uninteresting responses and stories that make zero sense.
I am actively looking out for a few months now but haven’t been getting any headway. At the same time, I’ve lost all motivation to work and I try to do the bare minimum but fail at that as well and my manager has started noticing that.
I feel the leadership team is trying to push me out because they think I’m not a good fit (I disagree) and I’m myself trying to leave but the job market sucks right now.
What do I do? How do I deal with this?
Jobadvisor
This is a classic and painful corporate phenomenon: The "Frozen Perception" Trap. Once a leadership team labels a junior employee (especially in their first job), they often stop "updating" their opinion of that person. Even if you’ve grown, they are still looking at the 22-year-old version of you. Combined with the "average" appraisal and being passed over for roles your peers got, the signal is loud and clear: They have capped your growth at this firm.
Whether they are "pushing you out" or just "neglecting you into resignation," the result is the same. You are in a dead-end loop. Here is how to navigate this without losing your mind or your paycheck.
1. Accept the "Verdict" (For Now)
Stop trying to convince them you’ve changed. In their minds, the "introvert" label is a shortcut for "not leadership material."
The Reality: Reasoning with them has failed. Every time you try to "prove" your output, they move the goalposts.
The Shift: Stop seeking their validation. You are currently using this job as a sponsored search for your next one.
2. Manage the "Bare Minimum" Risk
You mentioned you're failing at even the bare minimum. This is dangerous because it gives them "cause" to fire you, which ruins your leverage.
The "Invisible Performer" Strategy: Do exactly what is in your job description—no more, no less. Be pleasant, be "loudly" present (send a morning Slack, check in once a day), and then clock out mentally.
Audit your "Introversion": If their feedback is "you don't talk," give them the illusion of talking. Ask one targeted question in every meeting. It requires 10 seconds of effort but checks their "participation" box.
3. Handling the "Colleague Envy"
Watching your peers move up while you sit still is soul-crushing.
Distance Yourself: Their journey is not yours. They are playing a game where the rules are currently rigged in their favor.
Use Them: Since they are in new roles, ask them what they’re doing. Use their new job descriptions to update your own resume. If they are doing "X" now, and you can do "X," put "X" on your CV for the next company.
4. The Job Market Strategy
If you’ve been looking for months with no headway, your strategy needs a pivot.
The "First Job" Pivot: Since this is your only professional experience, your resume might be leaning too hard on "tasks" and not enough on "results."
External Validation: Since your current bosses won't give you a win, find a mentor or a peer outside the company to review your work. You need someone to tell you "Yes, you are good at this" to counteract the gaslighting at your office.
Your Tactical Plan for This Week:
Stop "Reasoning": In your next 1:1, don't argue about the appraisal. Just say, "I understand your perspective. I'll focus on my current deliverables." This ends the conflict and lowers their guard.
The "15-Minute Rule": Dedicate the first 15 minutes of your workday to your career (applying, networking, skill-building) before you touch a single work email.
Resume Refresh: If you aren't getting interviews, it’s the resume. If you get interviews but no offers, it’s the interviewing.
What jobs for a girlfailure?
Litterally the title. I'm about to turn 27.
I dropped out of school, couldn't find any stable jobs as a hijabi in France. Tried to create my own company, didn't have money, tried to save up, got scammed of all my savings like an idiot.
Spent my few lasting bucks into an online school to learn Web Dev. Just learned the Web Dev job market is deader than dead and online schools aren't even recognized for any internationnal jobs.
I can't even apply for any work visa because I have no work experience, nor a bachelor's degree.
My parents are slowly dying and I have no idea what to do to save myself. I'm still applying to basic jobs and hopefully anything in IT to build up experience but to no avail.
I don't even know what to do. I'm so desperate I'm starting to think about starting some idiotic rage bait social media account because somehow that makes money...
I'm looking for relatable success stories but there's nothing. Any ideas of what I should even do?
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you’ve had to carry this much weight. Being 27, facing family illness, and dealing with the specific systemic hurdles in France—all while being scammed—is enough to make anyone feel like they're "failing."
But let’s be very clear: You are not a "girlfailure." You are someone who has survived a gauntlet of bad luck and a hostile job market. The fact that you spent your last few dollars on education instead of giving up shows you have a level of grit most people will never know.
Here is a cold, realistic, but hopeful roadmap for someone in your exact position in 2026.
1. The "Web Dev is Dead" Reality Check
You aren't entirely wrong—the market for "Junior React Developer" is oversaturated with AI-assisted tools. However, Technical Support and IT Operations are still desperate for people.
The Pivot: Stop applying for "Web Developer" roles for a moment. Look for L1 Technical Support, Help Desk, or Customer Success roles at SaaS companies.
The Reason: These roles often value language skills (if you speak French and English, you are a goldmine) and "soft skills" more than a CS degree. Once you are inside a tech company as support, you can pivot to dev or QA internally.
2. High-Yield, Low-Barrier Roles
In France, the "diplôme" obsession is real, but some sectors are "skills-first" because they can't find enough people:
Software QA (Quality Assurance) Tester: You already know Web Dev basics. Testing software for bugs requires that knowledge but has much less competition than dev roles. Look for "ISTQB Foundation" resources (many are free) to add that keyword to your CV.
Bilingual Customer Support (Remote): Companies like Binance, Airbnb, or Shopify hire remote support globally. They don't care if you're a hijabi in France if you can solve tickets effectively from your laptop.
SDR (Sales Development Representative): If you can handle the "grind," tech sales is the fastest way to make money without a degree. It’s about persistence, not pedigree.
3. Hijabi-Friendly & Inclusive Spaces
France is notoriously difficult for visible Muslim women, but the world is bigger than the local French corporate office.
International Remote Firms: Focus on UK, US, or German-based startups with remote-first cultures. They generally do not care about your headscarf; they care about your GitHub and your ability to meet deadlines.
Muslim-Focused Platforms: Check sites like MuslimJobs.io or Ummah Work. These specifically list companies that are inclusive and often have a global reach.
Support for Women: Look into organizations like WILLA or Empow'her in the Paris region. They offer mentoring and sometimes financial guidance for women who have faced setbacks in entrepreneurship.
4. Immediate "Save Yourself" Actions
The "Scammed" Recovery: If you haven't already, report the scam to the French authorities (Police/Gendarmerie). It might not get your money back, but having a record can sometimes help with social assistance or debt pauses if things get dire.
Leverage "France Travail": Go back to them and insist on "Alternance" (work-study) programs. In France, the government heavily subsidizes companies to hire people on alternance contracts. It’s often the only way to get a "foot in the door" without a Master's degree.
Avoid the "Rage Bait" Trap: It’s tempting, but it’s a mental health sinkhole that rarely pays. Instead, use your tech skills to offer freelance "Web Maintenance" to local small businesses (mosques, shops, community centers) who have old websites. It builds a portfolio of real work.
A Story You Should Know
There are countless "Self-Taught Hijabi Devs" on LinkedIn and Twitter/X who started exactly where you are—unemployed in Europe with no degree. They didn't win by being the best coders; they won by being the most resilient. They took the "shitty" help desk job, learned the systems, and moved up.
You have 27 years of survival experience. That is a qualification.