Hear Me Roar: Why Women Must Choose Courage Over Confidence
"I am a woman, hear me roar."
When Helen Reddy released that anthem in 1972, it resonated with a generation. We want to roar. And some days, we do.
But on other days? Not so much.
Many days, we find ourselves second-guessing, minimizing our strengths, and amplifying our doubts. I know this because I've done it myself—just this morning, in fact—and I hear it from countless other women.
These are clever, capable, accomplished women. They have achieved remarkable things while juggling the many hats society expects them to wear. Yet, even with a track record of success, many carry a persistent sense that they are not quite enough. Not accomplished enough. Not masterful enough. Not confident or worthy enough.
Research supports this reality. Women are less likely than men to identify as "top performers," even when objective results show no difference. We are more prone to imposter syndrome, waiting to be exposed as frauds. Little wonder we are also less comfortable asking for higher pay (42% of men vs. 33% of women, according to a 2023 Pew study).
This is a problem. And it isn't just personal.
When women underplay their value, it not only flattens their own trajectory; the world misses out on the full quota of value we could bring. In a landscape being reshaped by AI, pushback on DEI, and relentless complexity, self-doubt doesn't disappear. It dials up.
The inner critic sounds something like this: *"Who are you to take on that role? This isn't the time. You lack what it takes. You're already too stretched. Besides, others have far more to offer. People will soon realize you're just keeping your head above water."*
If this sounds like the voice in your head, you are in fine company. But this is precisely why you must defy the noise and lean into the deeper truth you know lies beneath the doubt: **You bring a unique brand of brilliance.**
As we mark International Women's Month, this is a call to double down on the value you bring, stand tall in your strengths, and refuse to let internalized limitations keep you from making the difference only you can make.
To be clear, this is not about female domination. For any system to thrive, no one group can dominate; we rise together, or we stall together. We need full partnership with men who are secure enough to champion women, and systems built on collaboration.
Courage isn't an emotion; it's a decision. Roaring isn't a feeling; it's a choice.
If you have happened upon these words, reclaim the power you've surrendered to doubt. Here are four risks worth taking to act like we roar.
1. Risk Falling Short
The gender confidence gap is well-documented. The mistake we make is assuming that one day we will wake up and *shazam*—we will ooze confidence forever.
That strategy puts you at risk of spending your entire life in a waiting room.
The only way to build confidence is to defy the doubts that play you small and do the exact thing the confident version of you would do. Apply for the role despite not ticking every box. Ask the tough question. Pitch the bold idea. Give yourself permission to wing it. Brave the awkward conversation.
Sometimes we have to behave our way into believing in ourselves, even when our inner critic is screaming. Courage precedes confidence. It is a learnable skill. The more often you "train the brave" within you, the faster you rewire your brain.
2. Risk Disappointing Someone
Empathy is a superpower, but even superpowers need boundaries. When the fear of disappointing others keeps us saying "yes" when we mean "no," the cost is high: we end up overstretched, resentful, and quietly betraying ourselves.
Saying no—even if it causes disappointment—is not selfish. It is an act of self-respect. If you can't remember the last time you disappointed someone, that may be your answer right there.
3. Risk Hearing "No."
Consider Sally, a leader who felt overwhelmed by her new team. When asked if she was asking enough of her staff, she sighed, "I could ask more, but I hate putting more on others' plates."
We women, are highly attuned to what others are carrying, but carrying everyone else's load is a one-way ticket to burnout. Sally started asking. She delegated more, pushed back on unrealistic timelines, and had the salary conversation she'd been postponing for 18 months. None of it was as catastrophic as she feared. All of it changed how she felt about herself.
Whenever more is being asked of you, you need to ask more of others. Frustration and overwhelm often point to unmade requests. If you're feeling undervalued, there is a clear, specific request you need to make that you aren't making. Does that guarantee you'll get it? Of course not. But failing to ask guarantees you won't.
4. Risk Owning It
"Oh, it was nothing." "I could have done that part better." "That's kind, but I actually messed up here…"
So many of us instinctively talk ourselves down the moment someone offers praise. We deflect, point out flaws, or credit luck. There is nothing noble in diminishing yourself. Humility is a virtue, but hiding behind it serves no one.
Women are less likely to internalize strengths and more likely to attribute success to timing rather than skill. So when praise comes our way, we rush to deflect it before it has a chance to sink in.
Try this simple practice: When someone offers you genuine praise, your entire script is: **"Thank you."**
If you absolutely need more words: **"I appreciate you saying that."**
Then stop. Bite your lip if you must. Don't add a qualifier. Let the praise seep into your bones. When doubt grows loud (and it will), you'll need that banked evidence to draw on.
The Call to Roar
The world is not short on challenges right now. But it has never been more in need of women who refuse to sell themselves short or shrink down to make others comfortable.
So, amid the noise and the relentless to-do list, ask yourself: **What would you do differently if you fully trusted your unique worth?**
Then go do that.
And when your doubts win out, or your efforts fall short—as they inevitably will—be as kind to yourself as you'd be to any woman you love. Dust off. Show up. Refuse to let doubt dim what you bring.
That's what it sounds like when we roar.