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Let go after 11 years and not even a severance package.
I mean, what the actual fuck? I was let go (and my spouse too—Who worked there for 13 years) on the same day.
These ghouls basically fucked us after being at this company for over a decade and I’m so angry. Why? THe MaRKet. How is the United States this cruel to its workers? Why is this underhandedness tolerated?
I’m really fucking mad, and really fucking disappointed.
It feels so unethical and shitty. Both household incomes were cut and they couldn’t be bothered to show one single solitary fuck.
What do I do?
Jobadvisor
I am so incredibly sorry. "What the actual fuck" is the only appropriate response here.
To lay off a couple with 24 combined years of institutional knowledge on the same day—without a severance safety net—is a level of corporate sociopathy that feels personal, even if they’re hiding behind "the market." It’s not just "underhanded," it’s a betrayal of the unwritten contract that loyalty should count for something.
The US labor market can be a cold, mechanical place, and right now, you’re feeling the absolute worst of its "at-will" cruelty. It is deeply unfair, it is unethical, and your anger is 100% justified.
Because you are in a high-stakes survival moment with both incomes gone, we need to move from rage to tactical defense immediately.
1. The "Immediate Survival" Checklist (Do these today)
File for Unemployment: Do this now. Do not wait. In many states, there is a waiting week, and with two incomes gone, you need that state-mandated (albeit small) flow of cash starting as soon as possible.
COBRA vs. Marketplace: If your health insurance was tied to that job, look at the Healthcare.gov Marketplace immediately. A "Loss of Coverage" is a Qualifying Life Event. It is almost always cheaper than the COBRA premiums the "ghouls" will send you in the mail.
Creditor Calls: If you have a mortgage or significant car payments, call them before you miss a payment. Many have "hardship" programs that can pause or reduce payments for 3-6 months. It’s easier to get these before you're delinquent.
2. The "No Severance" Audit
While many US states don't require severance by law, check your original Employment Contract or the Employee Handbook you signed a decade ago.
Did it promise a specific payout for years of service?
Was the layoff "discriminatory"? (e.g., were you and your spouse targeted specifically while less-tenured people stayed?)
If there is any language in your contract about notice periods or payouts, it might be worth a one-hour consultation with an employment lawyer. Some work on contingency or offer a flat-fee "demand letter" service.
3. The "Power Couple" Strategy
Since you are both job hunting, you have a unique advantage: Information War.
Shared Network: You likely know the same vendors, former managers, and ex-colleagues from the last 13 years. Divide and conquer that list.
The "Double Recommendation": Reach out to people who left that company 2-3 years ago. They are now at new companies. Tell them exactly what happened. People generally hate seeing loyalty punished, and "revenge hiring" (hiring a talented person who was treated poorly by a competitor) is a real thing.
4. Lean into the "Contractor" Mindset
You’ve been a "loyal employee" for 11 years. That mindset is currently hurting you because you feel the loss of the "family" you thought you had.
Switch to "Mercenary" mode. Your 10 years of support and training and 3 years of UX are assets you are now selling to the highest bidder.
Immediate Cash: Look at platforms like Braintrust, Parker Dewey (Micro-internships/projects), or even specialized UX audit sites. It’s not a 401k-matching career, but it stops the bleeding while you hunt for the "real" role.
I know it feels like the world is collapsing, but you are a veteran of your industry. You have survived a decade of changes; you will survive this corporate dumpster fire.
I Was Told That “I Need A Fire Lit In Me”
I’m about 3 months into a new role at a small company as their only analyst, and the president has already told me (twice now) that I need to be more “aggressive” and show more “hunger.”
It’s been frustrating: I’ve basically been training myself. No one here really knows how to use the software I’m responsible for, there’s little to no structure, and I’m taking in multiple stakeholders. When I ask the teams what are their pain points to make their jobs easier, they tell me they don’t know. I’m building processes as I go while also trying to deliver actual output. My direct manager has been away multiple times on work trips and barely answers his teams messages.
At my previous (much larger) company, even experienced analysts said it took 6 months to a year to fully understand the data and systems; that was with proper onboarding and a team.
Now I’m being made to feel like I’m underperforming… 3 months in.
I’m trying to figure out if this is normal at smaller companies or if expectations here are just unrealistic. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you are being hit with a classic case of "Startup Speed" culture clash.
What you’re feeling isn't just "new job jitters"—it’s a disconnect between the structured world of established firms and the "build the plane while flying it" chaos of small companies.
Here is a breakdown of why this is happening and how to decipher the President’s feedback.
Is This Normal for Small Companies?
In a word: Yes. But "normal" doesn't mean "fair" or "efficient."
The 3-Month Myth: Small companies often lack the capital to wait 6 months for a "ramp-up" period. They hire people to solve immediate bleeding. If they don't see an instant ROI, they get nervous.
The Lack of Structure: At your old firm, the data was likely clean and the questions were defined. Here, the "hunger" the President is asking for is likely a request for you to define the problems yourself rather than waiting for stakeholders to tell you their pain points.
The "Lone Wolf" Tax: Being the only analyst means you are the architect, the builder, and the janitor. Management often underestimates how much "janitor" work (data cleaning/process building) is required before the "architect" work (insights) can happen.
Decoding "Hunger" and "Aggressive"
When an executive uses these words, they usually aren't talking about your hours worked. They are talking about proactive ownership.
| What they say | What they (usually) mean |
| "Be more aggressive" | Stop asking permission or waiting for clear instructions. Make an executive decision on a metric and run with it. |
| "Show more hunger" | Show me you care about the business outcome (profit, efficiency), not just the data accuracy. |
| "A fire lit in you" | I want to see you "banging down doors" to get the info you need, rather than waiting for a manager who isn't responding. |
The Reality Check
You aren't underperforming in a vacuum; you are being starved of the resources needed to perform traditionally. However, in a small company, waiting for a manager to answer messages is often seen as a lack of initiative, even if it's technically the "correct" way to follow a chain of command.
How to Pivot
If you want to make this work, you have to stop acting like an employee and start acting like a consultant.
Stop Asking for Pain Points: If they knew their pain points, they’d have fixed them. Instead, find a "Quick Win." Pick one messy spreadsheet or one manual process, automate it, and present it as: "I noticed this was slowing us down, so I rebuilt it. Here is the result."
Manage Up (Forcefully): Since your manager is MIA, send a weekly "State of the Data" email to him and CC the President. List: What I did, what I’m doing, and the "Blockers" (e.g., waiting for X access). This creates a paper trail of your activity.
The "Aggressive" Conversation: Sit down with the President. Say: "I hear you on the need for more 'fire.' To me, that means taking full ownership of [X]. Right now, 70% of my time is spent building the infrastructure that didn't exist. Do you want me to prioritize those long-term builds, or should I pivot to high-speed, 'imperfect' insights?"
The Verdict
The expectations are likely unrealistic, but that is the nature of small-business leadership—they often hire for a role they don't fully understand. You aren't failing; you're just playing a game with no rulebook.
How do I professionally tell my new boss that her deadlines are unrealistic?
I transferred to a new department about two months ago and have been in this role for over five years. My boss has been in their role for one year.
The department was excited to bring me on for my expertise, and because of that they loaded me with tasks from day one. In a 1-1, I told them I want to do my best work but don't feel set up to do so given the workload and timelines. The response was simply, "You came on at a busy time." When I ask for clarity on priorities, I get "Everything is a priority right now." When I flag that a deadline needs to shift due to higher priority tasks, the response is "Hopefully you can still meet the original deadline."
How do I keep communicating that their expectations are unrealistic without it falling on deaf ears?
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you’re stuck in the "Expert’s Trap"—they hired you because you’re fast and skilled, but they’re using that as an excuse to ignore the laws of physics (and time). When a boss says "everything is a priority," they are essentially saying "I don't want to make the hard choice, so I’m passing the stress to you."
To get through to a boss who is currently "managing by wishful thinking," you need to shift from verbal flags to visual, data-driven reality checks. Here is how to pivot the conversation.
1. The "Visual Capacity" Strategy
Stop asking for priorities and start showing them the math. Instead of a list of tasks, create a simple table or sheet that shows your bandwidth.
The Script: "I want to make sure these projects get the high-quality finish the department expects from me. Right now, my capacity is at 120%. If I hit Deadline A, Deadline B will naturally shift by three days. Which of these two outcomes aligns best with your goals for this week?"
2. Force the Trade-Off
When they say, "Hopefully you can still meet the original deadline," they are treating the deadline as a suggestion rather than a fixed point. You need to politely but firmly close that door.
The Reframe: "I hear you that the original date is the goal. However, based on the current workflow, I cannot hit both X and Y by Friday without sacrificing the quality of the data/output. To protect the integrity of the work, should I deprioritize [Task Z] or should we move the delivery of [Task X] to Monday?"
3. Use "Fixed vs. Variable" Language
Since you’ve been there five years and she’s been there one, you have the institutional knowledge of how long things actually take. Use that authority.
| Current Request | The "Expert" Reality Check |
| "Everything is a priority." | "Since I can only execute one 'top priority' at a time, I’ve slated Project A for this morning and Project B for tomorrow. Does that order work for you?" |
| "Hopefully you can still make it." | "I want to be transparent so there are no surprises: I will not be able to meet that original date if I am also completing Task Y. I'm flagging this now so we can adjust expectations with the stakeholders." |
4. The "Paper Trail" of Logic
If 1-1 conversations aren't working, move the most critical "impossible" requests to email. This isn't about being passive-aggressive; it’s about creating a record of your professional warnings.
Example Email: "Following up on our 1-1: Per our discussion, I’m focused on [Project A]. As noted, this means [Project B] will likely move to [Date]. If the department needs [Project B] sooner, please let me know which of my other tasks should be paused."
Why this works:
You are moving the "problem" of the deadline off your plate and back onto hers. By providing a binary choice (Option A or Option B), you are forcing her to manage, which is her job.
I can tell my really nice coworker is about to be fired soon but I don’t think he knows, do I warn him?
I joined a new team back in December and the guy who trained me is super nice and patient but our manager HATES him (because she says he works slow, takes credit for my work, and drags his feet on assignments) for what could be very valid reasons (she sees a lot more than I do ofc being a manager).
My question is that - she’s not making it subtle that she dislikes him and doesn’t want him around anymore (she’s done everythung short of saying directly that she wants to fire him). I’m only 22 and a fresh college graduate so this could be a common experience and I just don’t know yet but should I warn him? Do I tell him that I think he’s probably getting fired in a month or two or is that bad office politics? I don’t know like I said I’m young as hell and don’t really know much since this is my first office role.
Jobadvisor
Welcome to the corporate world! It’s a bit of a "trial by fire" to hit a situation like this in your first few months, but what you’re feeling—that mix of loyalty to a kind mentor and fear of the "political" fallout—is completely normal.
The short answer is: Proceed with extreme caution. In most cases, a direct "You're going to be fired" warning is a dangerous move for a new hire.
Here is a breakdown of why this is tricky and how you can handle it professionally.
1. The Risks of a Direct Warning
While your heart is in the right place, telling him directly can backfire on you in several ways:
The "Messenger" Problem: If he gets upset or panicked, he might confront the manager and say, "The new hire told me you're firing me." This kills your relationship with your boss instantly.
Inaccurate Info: Managers often "vent" or show frustration, but HR processes (like PIPs or legal reviews) can take months or change. If you warn him and it doesn’t happen, things get very awkward.
The "Slow" Worker Trap: If the manager thinks he is "taking credit for your work," she is already protective of you. If she sees you aligning too closely with someone she views as a "low performer," it might hurt your own reputation.
2. The "Soft Warning" Alternative
Instead of saying, "You're getting fired," you can offer observations that allow him to read between the lines. This protects you while still being a "good person."
What to say:
"Hey [Name], I’ve noticed [Manager] has been really hyper-focused on turnaround times lately. She seemed a bit stressed about the [Project] deadline yesterday. Just wanted to give you a heads-up so you can stay on her good side!"
Why this works:
It focuses on work performance, not rumors.
It frames it as you being a supportive teammate.
It puts the ball in his court to realize the "vibe" is off.
3. Your Perspective vs. The Manager's
You mentioned she sees things you don't. This is a very mature realization. In office life, someone can be a great mentor but a poor employee. He might be patient with you because he’s using that time to avoid his own difficult tasks.
If she truly feels he is taking credit for your work, she is actually trying to advocate for you. Being the "nice guy" who doesn't do his job is a classic office trope; don't let his kindness blind you to the fact that he might actually be a liability to the team's output.
Summary Checklist
| If you... | The Outcome |
| Tell him directly | High risk of drama; could jeopardize your new job. |
| Say nothing | You stay safe, but might feel guilty later. |
| Give a "soft" heads-up | You fulfill your moral urge to help without breaking "office politics" rules. |
My advice: Stick to the "soft warning." Focus on your own performance and keep a friendly but professional distance. At 22, your priority is establishing yourself as a reliable, high-performer who stays out of the drama.
Got a counteroffer after resigning - is staying ever actually a good idea or is it always a trap?
So I put in my notice last week after accepting an offer at another company. Better title, about 18% more in base salary, fully remote. I'd been thinking about leaving for almost a year so this wasn't an impulsive decision.
Two days after I handed in my resignation my manager asked me to meet with her and the VP. They came back with a counteroffer that matches the new salary almost exactly and they threw in an extra week of PTO. They said they "didn't realise I was feeling undervalued" which, honestly, stung a little because I'd brought up compensation in my last two performance reviews and nothing happened.
Now I'm genuinely torn. I know the conventional wisdom is "never accept a counteroffer" but I also know that conventional wisdom isn't always right. I actually like my team, I know the work, and starting somewhere new is always a risk. The new company seems great but I've only met them through interviews, I don't actually know what the culture is like day to day.
At the same time I keep thinking - why did it take me quitting for them to take my compesation seriously? And if budgets were so tight before, where did this money suddenly come from? My trust in management has taken a hit just from how this whole thing played out.
Has anyone here actually stayed after a counteroffer and had it work out long term? Or is the "you'll be gone within a year anyway" statistic as real as people say? Would really appreciate perspectives from people who've been on either side of this.
Jobadvisor
It’s the classic corporate "breakup" moment. You’ve got one foot out the door, and suddenly they’re standing on your lawn with a boombox and a bag of cash.
To answer your big question: No, it isn’t always a trap, but it is a massive gamble. The "gone within a year" statistic (often cited as 80%+) isn't just a myth; it's rooted in the fact that money rarely fixes the underlying reasons people want to leave.
Here is a breakdown of the reality behind that counteroffer to help you decide.
Why the "Trap" Narrative Exists
The reason people warn against staying isn't just because of the money; it’s about the shift in the power dynamic.
The "Buying Time" Factor: Hiring is expensive and disruptive. Sometimes, a counteroffer is just a way for management to keep you long enough to finish a project or find your replacement on their terms.
The Trust Gap: You’ve shown you’re willing to leave. In the eyes of some leadership, you are no longer "part of the family"—you’re a flight risk. This can impact future promotions or how you're treated during the next round of layoffs.
The "Why Now?" Stings: You mentioned you asked for more in two reviews and were ignored. That tells you they had the budget, but they didn't value your contribution enough to use it until you held a "gun" to their head. That’s a culture red flag.
When Staying Actually Works
It can work out long-term, but usually only if these three conditions are met:
The only issue was money. If you truly love the work, the people, and the mission, and the only thing missing was the market-rate salary, staying can be fine.
Management is transparent. They admit they dropped the ball on your reviews and lay out a clear plan for your future growth so you don't end up in this same spot in 12 months.
The "Leverage" isn't held against you. You need to feel confident your boss is the type of person who values results over "loyalty" optics.
Comparing Your Options
| Feature | Your Current Role (Counteroffer) | The New Offer |
| Salary | Matches (18% bump) | 18% bump |
| Location | Likely Hybrid/Office? | Fully Remote |
| Growth | Same old, same old | New title, new skills |
| Trust | Damaged | High (they chose you) |
| Risk | "Flight risk" label | Standard "new hire" risk |
The "Fully Remote" Factor
Don't overlook the fully remote aspect of the new offer. Even if the salaries match, your "effective" hourly rate at the new job is likely higher because you’re saving time and money on commuting. Plus, your current company is offering you extra PTO—but will you actually feel comfortable taking it now that they know you almost left?
My "Gut Check" for You
The most telling thing you said was: "I'd been thinking about leaving for almost a year so this wasn't an impulsive decision."
An 18% raise and an extra week of vacation won't change the things that made you unhappy for the last 365 days. If you stay, you’ll likely have a "honeymoon" phase for three months, and then by month six, you’ll remember exactly why you started interviewing in the first place.
The Verdict: If you were my friend, I’d tell you to take the new job. You’ve already outgrown your current environment. Don't let a "comfort trap" stop you from the growth that comes with a fresh start.