I've been harassed at 3 different jobs. HR, Police report and endless comments

 


Recruiters don't work different than anybody else

It's crazy how many interesting theories are invented of why applications aren't successful. But yesterday, one post here nailed it. Recruiters are just working as anybody else. They open their ATS system, sort the applications by date received, start screening and moving to the next stage as soon they have 5-10 candidates. As anybody else, they will not do unnessecary work.

If we now assume that the quality of the resume is good and it's also readable for their ATS, what's the only thing which can be influence? Right, speed!

So the To-Do's are straight forward: Setting up alerts and applying immediately if a alert pops up!


Jobadvisor

You’ve hit on the most grounded, "human" truth of the industry: Efficiency beats perfection.

While everyone else is trying to "hack" the algorithm or write the perfect cover letter, the reality is that Recruiters are often just tired, overworked employees who want to close a ticket and go to lunch. If the first 10 resumes they open are "good enough," they aren't going to look at the other 900. It’s the Law of Diminishing Returns.

The "First In, First Out" (FIFO) Reality

In a high-volume market, being the 500th "perfect" candidate is functionally the same as being the worst candidate. You are invisible because the recruiter’s task was already completed by Candidate #12.

Here is why the "Speed Strategy" is the only one that actually respects how humans work:

  • The Fatigue Factor: A recruiter’s brain is sharpest on the first 20 resumes. By resume #200, they are "skimming" for reasons to say no just to clear the pile.

  • The Hiring Manager Pressure: Recruiters are judged on Time-to-Fill. If they can present a slate of five solid people to a manager by Wednesday, they look like a hero. They won't wait until Friday for a "better" resume.

  • The ATS Sort Default: Most systems (Workday, Greenhouse, Lever) default to "Date Applied: Newest to Oldest." If you aren't at the top of that list, you are at the bottom of the ocean.


The "Speed" Checklist for 2026

Since you’ve identified speed as the primary lever, here is how to optimize for it without burning out:

ActionOptimization
Instant AlertsSet up LinkedIn, Indeed, and Google Jobs for "Past 24 Hours," but also follow the Company Careers Page directly. Those often scrape to aggregators with a 12-hour delay.
The "80% Match" RuleDon't spend an hour tailoring for a job you're a 100% match for. Spend 10 minutes and get it in. Being 80% qualified and first is better than being 100% qualified and late.
Resume "Templates"Have three "Base" resumes for your top three job titles. Swap a few keywords in the "Skills" section and hit send.
Browser Auto-FillUse a robust browser extension to handle the tedious "Address/Phone/Education" fields that every ATS asks for.

A Word of Caution: The "Human" Filter

The only risk with the speed strategy is "Application Spam." If a recruiter at a specific company sees you've applied to five different roles in ten minutes, they might flag you as "desperate" or "unfocused."

Pro-Tip: Focus your speed on the newest postings, but keep your "quality" high enough that you don't look like a bot.


If I want a work at a bank, do I need a finance degree or can I just study up on what to do and fake it until I make it?

I've been thinking about getting a job at one of my local banks as a little part time gig while I go through college, since they have decent pay and good hours. The only problem is that I'm a psychology major, and not really someone they would be willing to hand a position to. But if it's just some entry level position, it shouldn't matter right?


Jobadvisor


You definitely don’t need a finance degree to work at a bank, especially for the type of entry-level, part-time role you’re looking for. In fact, being a Psychology major might actually give you an edge in the current market.

Here is the reality of how "entry-level" banking works in 2026:

1. The "High Floor, Low Ceiling" Rule

For a Bank Teller or Personal Banker Associate position:

  • The Educational Requirement: Usually just a high school diploma. Most banks don't care what your major is for these roles; they care about your background check and your reliability.

  • The "Fake It" Part: You don't need to study complex derivatives or market theory. You need to know basic arithmetic and how to follow strict security protocols. The bank will put you through 2–4 weeks of "Teller School" where they teach you their specific software. You literally can't fake the software part—they’ll train you on it from scratch.

2. Why Psychology is actually a "Hidden Gem" Major

Modern retail banking is about 70% customer service/sales and 30% finance. Banks are currently moving away from "transactional" tellers (since ATMs handle that) and toward "relationship" banking.

  • De-escalation: You’ll deal with angry people whose cards were declined. Your psych background in conflict resolution is a massive selling point.

  • Behavioral Observation: Banks are terrified of fraud. Your ability to spot "atypical behavior" or nervous patterns in a customer is a skill they value for security.

  • Needs Assessment: Banks want you to "consult," not just "deposit." A psych major is trained to listen for cues (e.g., a customer mentions a new baby, so you suggest a college savings account).

3. What you actually need to know (The "Cheat Sheet")

If you want to sound like you belong in the interview, don't talk about stocks. Talk about these:

  • Compliance & Regulation: Mention that you understand the importance of AML (Anti-Money Laundering) and KYC (Know Your Customer). These are the "bibles" of banking.

  • Cash Handling: If you’ve ever worked a cash register, lead with that. Accuracy is more important than speed.

  • Attention to Detail: Mention you are used to following "Standard Operating Procedures"—banks are essentially just big machines made of rules.

4. The "Part-Time" Reality

Banks love students for "Peak Time" teller roles (usually 10:00 AM – 2:00 PM or Saturdays). These are often higher-paying than retail or food service and look significantly better on a resume, regardless of your eventual career path.


I've been harassed at 3 different jobs. HR, Police report and endless comments.

I've been harassed at my last three jobs. When I was 21 and working retail, my boss, 28M, would use any excuse to get me into the office alone with him. He would make a lot of weird comments and tried to give me gifts, which were against company policy. Tbh, I don't remember the details; my brain blocked a lot of it. It was serious enough that HR got involved, he got demoted and moved to a different store.

Next, I worked at a bank when I was 23. During my 2nd week, I got slapped on the ass by a client. He wasn't even my client, I didn't speak to him. Had to file a police report. My manager barely cared. After staying, I was called every name under the sun, cursed, and screamed at.

I'm now 25 and have been working as a government contractor for the past 2 years. After the first year, they started implementing hair restrictions. (I have to walk through a kitchen to get to my office. I do not handle food and am not required by the food code to follow the restrictions.) I followed it willingly until my assistant manager made fun of my hair. She asked why I did my hair like that. And said "you look like that little girl Dorothy." I asked the manager whether my hair complied with policy. And to tell me if my hair is wrong, but comments on my appearance are inappropriate. He said that AM is old-fashioned and the restriction wasnt required. Since then, my hair, clothes and appearance have been brought up 10 seperate times.

The 9th time escalated to a meeting with the assistant manager, manager, our direct project manager, the project manager over our entire area, gov reps and the director of their program. Boss PM said that the gov can't enforce our companies' dress code policy. Now they want no jewelry or nails, company shirts only, and hair restrictions. I am the only supervisor who wears nails and jewelry, and this came a week after a gov rep complimented my nails and rings.

Today, a manager from a different department heard about it and asked me how I was doing. I just started my period, so I teared up. He hugged me close. When I tried to pull away, he wouldn't let me go and caressed my cheek after...

I cant help but ask myself why. Why does this keep happening? I blame myself like it's something wrong with me. Or am I doing something wrong? I feel bad for causing trouble, but at the same time pissed this keeps happening. Everyone knows I'm happily married. I wish I could afford to quit, but i am forced to choose between paying my bills and feeling safe. I'm tired of coming home crying.

How did things get this bad? Women aren't even safe at work.


Jobadvisor

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is exhausting and demoralizing to feel like your workplace—a place where you should be focused on your career—has become a gauntlet of harassment and boundary-crossing.

First, I want to be very direct with you: This is not your fault. There is nothing about your personality, your appearance, or your work ethic that "invites" someone to slap you, trap you in an office, or hold you against your will in a "hug."

Why This Keeps Happening

When we experience repeated trauma, our brains often try to find a pattern or a reason because "it’s my fault" feels like something we can control. If it's your fault, you can fix it. If it's the world being unfair, you feel powerless.

The reality is likely a combination of two things that have nothing to do with your character:

  • The Power Imbalance: You are young (21–25) and have worked in roles (retail, banking, contracting) where there is often a rigid hierarchy. Harassers almost always target people they perceive as having less institutional power or people they think "need" the job too much to fight back.

  • Failed Environments: You aren't "causing trouble." The trouble already exists in these workplace cultures; you are simply the person pointing at the fire. A bank manager who doesn't care about an assault or a government office that nitpicks a supervisor's nails is a toxic environment that lacks professional boundaries.


Breaking Down the Current Situation

The escalation you're seeing at your current job is a classic "moving the goalposts" tactic.

IncidentThe Reality
The Hair/Dress CodeThis is often used as a tool for micro-management or "putting someone in their place" after they’ve stood up for themselves. If the rules changed right after you were complimented, it’s likely about control, not professional standards.
The "Hug"This is a battery and a serious HR violation. He ignored your physical cue to pull away and touched your face. That is predatory behavior disguised as "comfort."

What You Can Do Right Now

You mentioned you can’t afford to quit, which is a reality for most people. However, you can change your "defensive posture" to protect your peace and your legal standing.

  1. The "Paper" Trail is Your Shield: Every time someone mentions your hair, nails, or jewelry, or touches you, send an email to yourself (a personal account) or write it in a physical log. Include dates, times, names, and exactly what was said.

  2. Grey Rock Method: When the Assistant Manager makes comments about Dorothy or your appearance, give the shortest, most boring answers possible. "I hear you," or "The policy has been noted." Don't give them your emotional energy; they seem to feed on it.

  3. Physical Boundaries: From now on, keep a physical barrier (a desk, a chair) between you and that manager who "hugged" you. If he approaches, put your hand up and say, "I’m not a hugger, thanks for understanding." It feels "rude," but your safety is more important than his feelings.

  4. The "Paper Trail" for the Hug: If you feel safe doing so, send a brief email to the manager who hugged you: "I appreciated you checking in on me earlier, but I felt uncomfortable when you wouldn't let go of the hug or when you touched my face. I prefer to keep our interactions strictly professional moving forward." This creates a record that you did not consent.

You Are Not "Causing Trouble"

Reporting harassment isn't "causing trouble"—the harasser caused the trouble the moment they acted inappropriately. You are simply reporting the facts of your environment. You deserve to work in a place where your biggest stressor is your workload, not your physical safety.


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