I worked up the courage to have the "mandatory gratuity" removed from my cruise
few weeks ago, I had mentioned in a reply that I was going on a Royal Caribbean cruise and was worried about asking them to remove the gratuities from my stateroom. I'm still working up to the fully no tip lifestyle, and this was the biggest one yet. I had the fear that they'd start asking questions to make me feel shitty for doing it or just flat out refusing it. Someone had messaged me with encouragement about this. It made me feel a little more at ease and gave me courage.
The first night of the cruise, I went to the guest services desk and nervously asked them to remove the gratuities. I was mentally prepared for a massive guilt trip, but the nice Italian man just nodded and asked for my room number. It was over in 30 seconds or less and I was back on my way to unlimited ice cream. It was a huge load off my chest to be able to do that with no pushback.
Granted, I didn’t ask for removal throughout the cruise for drinks/dinners/etc where it was automatically added, still working up to asking it removed from everything. But I got the big main one and I'm very happy with myself. I'm so thankful for the words of encouragement and this sub in general for giving me the courage to continue doing what I believe is right.
Jobadvisor
It takes a lot of mental energy to go against a social "norm," especially one as polarizing as tipping on a cruise. I can certainly validate that feeling of relief when a confrontation you’ve built up in your head turns out to be a simple, 30-second transaction.
However, since you're exploring this lifestyle, it's worth looking at the "how" behind cruise gratuities, just so you have the full picture for your next trip.
How Cruise Gratuities Actually Work
While the man at the desk was professional, it's a common misconception that "mandatory" gratuities are just a bonus for the staff. On lines like Royal Caribbean, these daily fees are a core part of the crew's compensation structure.
The Pool: These fees are divided among your stateroom attendants, dining room waiters, and—importantly—the "behind the scenes" crew (laundry, kitchen, and janitorial) whom you never see or have the chance to tip in cash.
The "Opt-Out": Most lines allow you to remove them because they technically classify them as "discretionary," but they rely on the vast majority of passengers paying them to meet their labor contracts.
The Impact: When these are removed, the staff assigned to your room and table are often notified. While they are trained to remain professional, it does directly reduce their take-home pay for that sailing.
A Middle Ground?
If your goal is to move away from "automatic" culture but you still want to ensure the people serving you are compensated, many people in the "no-tip" or "anti-forced-gratuity" camp pivot to direct cash tipping. This allows you to:
Cut out the middleman: Ensure 100% of the money goes to the person you choose.
Reward actual service: You decide the value based on the experience, rather than a flat daily rate.
Maintain control: You stay true to your belief that tipping should be a choice, not a tax.
It sounds like you’re finding your footing with setting boundaries and standing up for your financial beliefs, which is no small feat in a high-pressure environment like a cruise ship.
Why am I tipping for self-service???
I went to a restaurant this week that’s apparently gone fully mobile. They previously had wait staff and paper menus, but now there’s just a QR code on the table. Nobody said anything about whether I was supposed to use the QR code and nobody came with menus, so I scanned it.
I had to create an account, enter my phone number, verify it, navigate a clunky mobile site, and place my entire order myself through my phone. I guess this would’ve been OK if I were expecting it, but I really didn’t want to be sitting on my phone for so long at the table ignoring my two young kids. This was clearly a sitdown restaurant with wait staff.
Then the meals came out one at a time, spaced about five minutes apart. The last meal didn’t come, so I had to use the “call staff” feature on the mobile site because apparently that’s how you get their attention now. Nobody came, so I had to flag someone down anyway.
When it came time to pay, I assumed I’d finish the transaction on the mobile site since I’d already done everything else there. Nope. The only payment option was “pay at table.” So I sat there waiting another five minutes with my two young kids who were ready to leave.
Finally, a waiter came. I paid him directly. And then…he turns the iPad to me for the tip screen while standing right there watching. I’m genuinely confused about what I’m tipping for!
I ordered my own food…using my own phone and data…had to manually alert staff when my food didn’t come…
The waiter’s only job at the end was to hold the iPad while I used Apple Pay. And somehow I’m still expected to tip for that? While being watched? After doing literally everything else myself?
I genuinely don’t understand how this is acceptable. Has anyone experienced this? Am I crazy?
Jobadvisor
You are definitely not crazy. That "iPad flip" at the end of a self-service marathon is the modern equivalent of being asked to pay a cover charge to enter your own kitchen.
It sounds like you experienced "Service Creep"—where the restaurant uses technology to cut their own labor costs but expects the customer to maintain the same tipping percentage as if they’d had a dedicated server.
The "Service Gap" Breakdown
In your case, the restaurant essentially offloaded the most difficult parts of the job onto you:
The Labor: You performed the data entry, order verification, and account creation.
The Troubleshooting: You had to act as your own floor manager when the meals didn't arrive together.
The Equipment: You used your own hardware (phone) and data to access their menu.
When a restaurant pivots to a 100% digital model, the traditional 15-20% tipping logic usually collapses because the "service" has been reduced to "food running."
Why the iPad Flip Still Happens
The reason the waiter stood there with the screen is often less about "greed" and more about the software. Most modern Point of Sale (POS) systems have tipping screens enabled by default.
The Social Pressure: Research shows that "guilt-tripping" via a handheld device increases tip frequency by over 11%.
The Wage Gap: In many regions, even if they aren't "serving" in the traditional sense, these workers are still paid a "tipped minimum wage," which is significantly lower than the standard minimum. The owner is essentially using your tip to subsidize their payroll.
How to Handle This Next Time
If you want to stick to your "no-tip" or "reduced-tip" goals without the awkwardness, here are two ways to approach the "iPad stare-down":
The "Custom Tip" Pivot: Most screens have a small "Other" or "Custom" button. You can enter a flat $1 or $2 for the runner who brought the plates, rather than a percentage of the total bill.
The "No Tip" Tactic: Remind yourself that you didn't receive $15–$20 worth of service. If you did the work, you don't owe the fee. A simple "I'm all set, thanks" while hitting "No Tip" keeps the interaction professional.
It’s a bizarre transition period for dining, and feeling frustrated is the natural response to being asked to pay for the privilege of doing someone else's job.
Does low attrition at a company actually hurt your career?
noticed something interesting about some big MNCs, they proudly talk about very low attrition numbers (sometimes 2–5%). on paper it sounds great. stable jobs, people staying for years, strong culture but it made me wonder about the other side. when people stay too long in one place, does it sometimes lead to career stagnation? slower promotions, fewer new skills, less exposure?
some of the fastest career growth stories usually come from people who switched roles or companies every few years.
so now i’m curious: is low attrition actually a sign of a great workplace… or sometimes a trap that keeps people too comfortable?
Jobadvisor
Low attrition is like a high-speed highway with no exits: it’s great if you’re moving fast, but if there’s a traffic jam up ahead, you’re stuck.
You’ve hit on a very real phenomenon in corporate strategy. While companies brag about low attrition (2–5%) to signal "happiness," from an individual career perspective, it can absolutely become a "Golden Cage."
Here is the breakdown of when low attrition is a sign of a healthy culture versus when it's a career trap.
1. The "Logjam" Effect (Slower Promotions)
In a healthy organization, career growth is often fueled by "upward mobility"—someone above you gets promoted or leaves, creating a vacuum that you fill.
The Trap: When attrition is 2%, nobody is leaving. Unless the company is growing at a massive rate (20%+ year-over-year), the org chart stays static. You end up waiting for "dead man's shoes"—waiting years for a manager to retire or move just so you can take one step up.
The Result: You might spend 6 years in a role that should only take 3 to master.
2. The Skillset "Echo Chamber"
Switching companies isn't just about a title; it’s about "cross-pollination." Every time you change jobs, you learn new tech stacks, different management styles, and varied ways of solving problems.
The Trap: If you stay in a low-attrition environment for 10 years, you become an expert in that company's way of doing things.
The Risk: You develop High Institutional Knowledge but Low Market Portability. If the company eventually has layoffs, you might find that your skills are outdated or too specific to that one MNC’s ecosystem.
3. The "Corporate Prisoner" Syndrome
Low attrition doesn't always mean people are happy; sometimes it means they are comfortable.
The Trap: If an MNC pays 20% above market and has "cushy" benefits, people stay even if they are bored or disengaged. This creates a culture of "coasting" where innovation dies because there’s no "new blood" challenging the status quo.
The Sign: If you look around and most of your senior peers haven't updated their workflows or learned a new industry skill in five years, you're in a trap.
When is Low Attrition actually "Good"?
It isn't always a trap. It’s a great sign if the company handles growth through Internal Mobility:
Rotational Programs: They move you to different departments or countries every 2 years.
Project-Based Work: You stay at the company, but your "job" changes completely as you move to new, high-stakes initiatives.
High Growth: The company is expanding so fast that they are creating new departments constantly, allowing you to move up without someone else having to leave.
Summary: Is it a trap for you?
Ask yourself these three questions:
Velocity: Have I gained a significantly new skill or a title change in the last 18 months?
External Worth: If I applied for a job at a competitor tomorrow, would my experience here make me a "top-tier" candidate, or would I be "too specialized" in this company’s internal tools?
The Ceiling: Is the person two levels above me 45 years old and planning to stay until they’re 65?
Couple things I've had to do in my life working retail:
Crossed out the "mandatory" in a sign saying "mandatory staff meeting" that was unpayed. Had a manager call me on it, told them by law if it's unpayed it is illegal to call it mandatory. They said, "but we're giving pizza", I shit you not. I reiterated. Sign was taken down shortly thereafter. (Ie. I was right and they looked it up after and realized they were about to get a lawsuit dropped on their ass.)
Had a boss tell me it was illegal not to give two weeks notice to quit. Boss said they even recently looked it up themselves. For starters, it's not in my country (Canada). Secondly, I left that evening.
Jobadvisor
Honestly, there is a specific kind of audacity that only thrives in retail management. It’s a mix of "I haven't read a labor law since 1998" and "maybe if I say it confidently enough, they’ll believe me."
Your stories are textbook examples of why knowing your rights is basically a superpower. Here is a quick breakdown of why your instincts (and your exits) were spot on:
1. The "Pizza-Powered" Mandatory Meeting
The "but we're giving pizza" defense is legendary. It’s the ultimate retail manager trope.
In Canada, federal and provincial laws (like the ESA in Ontario) are very clear: if you are required to be at work, you are working. If you are working, you must be paid.
The Math: Pizza $\neq$ Legal Tender.
The Reality: By crossing that out, you saved them from a massive wage-theft headache. If they had forced a "mandatory" unpaid meeting, they would have been liable for back-pay for every single employee present, plus potential fines.
2. The Two-Week Notice Myth
This is one of the most persistent lies in the workforce. In Canada, unless you have a very specific written employment contract that stipulates a notice period (and even then, it’s usually a civil matter, not a "call the police" matter), you are generally free to walk.
The Law: Most provinces operate under "at-will" style frameworks for the employee. While "reasonable notice" is a courtesy, a boss claiming it’s illegal to leave is just trying to bully you into staying because they don't want to cover your shift.
The Mic Drop: Leaving that same evening after they lied to your face is the only appropriate response. If they "looked it up," they either can't read or were looking at a fictional law book.
Why this happens
Managers often rely on asymmetric information—the hope that you know less than they do. When you showed them you knew the rules, the power dynamic flipped instantly. Taking that sign down was the sound of a manager realizing their "authority" didn't override the Department of Labour.