I missed my opportunity to be young and have no interest in the future
I'm twenty-three, dead broke, unemployed, and have spent the last six years in a miasma of depression. I feel like I've completely missed my opportunity to be young. There's nothing to do where I live and even if I started school today, I probably wouldn't be able to move until I'm in my late twenties.
The future looks bleak too. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working some meaningless job that I can't stand just so I can barely afford rent. So, I'm stuck hating myself for missing out in the past, while also dreading the future. What do?
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and I’m not going to hit you with toxic positivity about how "23 is the new 13." When you've spent six years—basically your entire adult life so far—under the weight of depression, it doesn’t just feel like you lost time; it feels like you lost your identity.
That "miasma" is real, and it’s exhausting. But here’s the cold, honest truth from a grounded perspective: The version of "youth" you think you missed is largely a marketing campaign. Most people in their early twenties are actually broke, anxious, and pretending to have more fun than they are.
If we’re going to adjust the mindset, we have to stop looking at life as a race you’ve already lost and start looking at it as a series of strategic pivots.
1. Kill the "Late Twenties" Ghost
You mentioned that even if you started school now, you wouldn't move until your late twenties. You say that like it's a death sentence.
The Reality: Whether you start school or not, you will eventually be 28. The only choice you have is whether you want to be 28 with a degree and a ticket out of your town, or 28 and still sitting in the same room feeling the same way.
The Shift: Stop measuring the "start" of your life by a specific age. Life doesn't end at 30; for many, that’s when the money and the confidence actually make life enjoyable.
2. The "Meaningless Job" Fallacy
The idea that you have to find a "dream career" or else life is a corporate prison is a heavy burden to carry.
The Reality: Most people don't live for their jobs; they use their jobs to fund their lives.
The Shift: Look for a "Tolerance Job." Something you don't actively hate that provides a "Minimum Viable Income." If a job pays for your hobbies, a decent meal, and a way to see the world, it has served its purpose. It doesn't need to be your soulmate.
3. Combatting the "Nothing to Do" Environment
Isolation feeds depression. If your town offers nothing, your current "job" is actually Exit Strategy Planning.
Action: If school feels too big right now, look into trade certifications or remote-work skills (coding, digital marketing, etc.). These are faster than a four-year degree and are specifically designed to give you mobility.
Low-Stakes Momentum
When you’re "dead broke" and depressed, "fixing your life" sounds impossible. Don't try to fix your life. Just try to break the pattern of the next 24 hours.
| Goal | Small Win |
| Financial | Look up one free certification or grant program (like Pell Grants). |
| Mental | Spend 15 minutes outside. It won't cure depression, but it breaks the "miasma" walls. |
| Social | Join a Discord or online community centered on a hobby (not a vent group). |
A Final Thought
You haven't missed your opportunity to be young; you've just had a very difficult "First Act." The "Main Quest" hasn't even started yet because you've been stuck in the tutorial level with a broken controller.
I feel in constant pain and very deep sadness
Every day is a nightmare for me. I'm 29 lost and wanting a stable income. Every job I had only paid me minimum wage. I feel like I've been cursed to get a low pay for life. I've been applying for jobs for years and the best I can get is a job in the supermarket. I once was hired as a Designer but I was paid less than in the supermarket. I quit because the boss was toxic. I pray deep within me everyday that someday someone will see my value. I just want this nightmare to be over but it feels like it will never be. I just want to cry and cry. I just want a miracle to happen. Someone or something to change my career. I completely lost my passion and will to work on my skills, it feels pointless. I just struggle so much to cope with this. I am so so tired of my current situation. I feel completely left out and rejected, worthless. And no matter how much I complain I don't feel heard. People just don't seem to get it how hard it is for me to live like this. There is such a huge lack of actual care from hirers, and everytime someone suggests some freelance work I could do for them, it's only empty promises and lies. why do they do this to me, I think this is one of the most cruel things to do. I'd rather them not even suggest anything like that. It is hurtful, heartless and deceiptful. I completely lost trust in any person's words. Most people just deceive me even people that seem honest. I just want someone to care about my career growth, I'm stuck and lost for years. My mental health is really affected by all this. I have outbursts, made self-destructive posts on my LinkedIn because I wanted their attention. I wanted someone to save me, to care about me. But no one did. No one understood how much I was in pain and how much I wanted to feel a genuine connection outside of being a mere superficial and professional one. I struggle to enjoy working in a place where people don't care about me or my well being. It feels like I'm constantly drowning in quicksand.
Jobadvisor
I hear the exhaustion in your words, and I want to sit with that for a second before we talk about "paths." What you are describing—the LinkedIn outbursts, the feeling of being "cursed," the deep desire to be saved—is the sound of someone who has reached their absolute limit.
It is incredibly painful to feel like you have a gift (Design) that the world refuses to pay for fairly. It feels like a personal rejection of your soul. But I have to be the supportive peer who tells you the hard truth: The professional world, especially hiring managers, are not equipped to be your support system. When you ask for a "genuine connection" or for someone to "care about your well-being" in a job interview, you are looking for a liferaft in a place that only sells anchors. Seeking emotional salvation through a career is actually what is keeping you stuck in this cycle of disappointment.
1. The "Savior" Trap
You are waiting for a miracle or a person to see your value and pluck you out of the quicksand.
The Reality: Recruiters and bosses are inherently selfish. They don't hire based on a candidate's need; they hire based on their own problem that needs solving.
The Shift: You have to stop looking for a boss to be a "caretaker." You need to separate your self-worth from your market value. You are inherently worthy as a human, but the market is cold and transactional. To get out, we have to play by the market's cold rules, not your heart's needs.
2. Healing the Professional Image
Those LinkedIn posts were a cry for help, but in the professional world, they act as a "Keep Out" sign.
The Reality: Employers are risk-averse. If they see "instability," they run—not because they are evil, but because they are lazy and want the easiest path.
The Action: We need to "sanitize" your professional presence. It’s okay to feel these things, but you must keep the "miasma" away from the storefront. You need a "Professional Mask" that you wear only for 8 hours a day to get the paycheck you deserve.
3. Moving from Design to "Stable Utility"
If Design has broken your heart and paid you less than a supermarket, it is time to put Design in a box and walk away from it as a primary career for now.
The Strategy: You need a Bridge Job. This is a boring, stable, corporate-adjacent role that requires zero "passion."
Examples: Data Entry, Insurance Claims Processing, Medical Billing, or Government Clerical work. These jobs don't care about your "vision," they just care if you can show up and hit "Enter." They often pay significantly more than minimum wage and offer the "stability" you are starving for.
How to Stop Drowning
| Phase | Focus | Goal |
| Step 1: Emotional Triage | Stop posting about your pain on professional platforms. Find a support group or therapist for the "heart" work. | Stop the bleeding of your professional reputation. |
| Step 2: The Pivot | Look for "Administrative Assistant" or "Operations" roles in industries like Logistics or Health. | Secure a paycheck that is at least 30% higher than minimum wage. |
| Step 3: The Wall | Build a wall between "Who I Am" and "What I Do." | Protect your spirit from the "lack of care" from hirers. |
A Hard, Kind Truth
People make empty promises of freelance work because they are uncomfortable with your pain and want to offer a "quick fix" to end the conversation. It is cruel, but it usually comes from awkwardness, not malice. Stop listening to "offers" that aren't signed contracts.
You are 29. You have decades of life ahead. You aren't "lost for years"—you've just been trying to open a locked door with the wrong key.
I'm lost, full of regret, and want to change directions (again)
I am feeling so lost right now.
I'm in my first year of an X-ray tech program, but I feel like I made a mistake and have been thinking about switching to something I truly want. The problem is that I am in my late, late twenties and feel like I need to "move on" with my life. I'm currently unemployed and have already used up half my savings for this program, with another two years to go.
This program was meant to be a fresh start. Before I decided to take it, I worked an office job that worsened my mental health and led to me seeking therapy. I wanted to do something else so I began looking at my options. I considered library technician, history teacher, and X-ray tech. As cliché as it sounds, I want a job that involves helping people. X-ray tech checked a lot of boxes for me at the time. It's stable, hands-on, and involves caring for people. I also thought it suited my personality. This is the only healthcare job I have ever considered because something like nursing intimidates me and science was never my strength. I'm doing okay in my classes but I honestly don't feel like I belong here. My classmates and friends have this sense of purpose that I lack. I just don't feel any motivation to do this anymore. In these past few weeks, I've just been going through the motions. The fear of failure and obligation are the only things pushing me to study. I think I was genuinely motivated at the start but now I feel numb.
I've considered changing directions for a while now. I think I want to do a library technician diploma or a history degree. I'd do these in a different city, so I'd have to support myself. I could get by on my savings and a part-time job plus student loans if I do the degree. Should I just say fuck it and pursue what I want?
What I want to do is a history degree with a minor in a second language, philosophy or maybe even chemistry because I feel like I'm capable now. My goal is to work in education, heritage preservation, or archives (I know this needs an MLIS). Has anyone pursued a second degree in the humanities later in life with similar goals? What was it like and how are things for you?
I feel like I want to put my heart into this. I have a degree in English literature, but I feel like I didn't use my time at university well, which is why I think I'm in this conundrum. I spent so much time shying away from things that seemed difficult or I didn't feel skilled enough to do. I limited myself. So then, I looked for something that'd prepare me better. But I just don't feel any sense of achievement from this like I thought I would.
With the library technician diploma, I want to use it as a stepping stone towards an MLIS because I don't have library work experience. I would eventually want to work in archives with this as well. I would also be interested in program planning or education within libraries or, if I can get into them, museums. Is this path even realistic given my goals?
I have been circling around and around in my mind on whether I should quit or just stick it out. It's hard to stay positive and motivated when I feel like I could pursue something better for myself.
Sorry if this post is all over the place. I think I just need another opinion.
Jobadvisor
First of all, take a deep breath. Being in your "late, late twenties" and feeling lost is a common human experience, not a personal failure. You aren't "behind" in life; you are mid-pivot.
It sounds like you chose X-ray tech because it felt safe and logical, but you chose History/Library work because it’s where your curiosity and heart actually live. You’ve realized that stability doesn't mean much if you feel numb every morning.
Breaking Down Your Paths
Here is a look at your options through a lens of pragmatism and passion.
| Path | Pros | Cons |
| Stick with X-Ray | Financial stability, clear job market, "done" in 2 years. | High burnout risk for you, mental health strain, feeling of "misplaced" life. |
| Library Tech Diploma | Practical skills, faster entry to the field, great "bridge" to an MLIS. | Lower starting pay than X-ray, may feel like another "technical" stop-gap. |
| History Degree (2nd) | Deep personal fulfillment, builds the GPA/profile for MLIS or Teaching. | Expensive, time-consuming, requires a very clear plan to avoid "underemployment" again. |
The Reality Check: Humanities & Libraries
You asked if this is realistic. Yes, but with a caveat. The heritage and archive world is highly competitive.
The "Degree Hopping" Trap: You already have an English degree. Getting a second bachelor's in History might feel healing, but it may not be the most efficient move. Most MLIS (Master of Library and Information Science) programs accept English degrees. You might be able to jump straight to the Master's or the Library Tech diploma without a second undergrad.
The MLIS vs. Tech Diploma: If your goal is archives or museum education, the MLIS is the gold standard. The Library Tech diploma is great for getting your foot in the door at a public library, but for high-level heritage work, you'll eventually need that Master's.
Experience is King: In the museum/archive world, what you do matters more than what you study. Voluntering or working part-time in a local museum while you study is more valuable than a perfect GPA.
Addressing the "Regret"
You mentioned shying away from difficult things in your first degree. The fact that you're now considering Chemistry or a second language shows that you have grown. You aren't the same person who "wasted" their English degree. You are now someone who knows the cost of doing something they hate. That is a powerful motivator.
A Note on "The Numbness":
If you feel numb and are only studying out of fear, you are essentially paying your savings to be miserable. That is a high price for a "stable" career you might quit in three years anyway.
My Recommendation: The "Bridge" Strategy
Instead of a total "fuck it" moment that drains your remaining savings, consider a middle path:
Step 1: Shadow or Volunteer. Before dropping out, spend one day at a local archive or library. Talk to the people there. Ensure the reality of the job matches your ideal of it.
Step 2: Check MLIS Prerequisites. Since you already have an English degree, look at MLIS programs. You might find you can apply now or after taking just a few bridge courses, saving you the cost of an entire second degree.
Step 3: The Library Tech Route. This is your most realistic "fresh start." It gets you into the environment you love quickly, lets you earn a living, and proves to you (and future employers) that you are committed to the field.