I just quit a job on the spot. Am I an asshole?
I have a full-time job, but 2 months ago, I picked up a nighttime office cleaning job to help save up money for an upcoming surgery.
Things were generally smooth sailing until I noticed yesterday that my hours were suddenly slashed in half. Two people were added to my shift for training and to take on half my hours thereafter. I got no heads up from anybody. If I hadn't checked the notification about my published shifts more closely, I wouldn't have known until I walked onto the job next week.
I'm lucky that I don't have to depend on this for full-time income. I'm pissed that someone who *could have been* could have been left in a really precarious position, if this job was all or most of their income. It's rude at best, really fucked up at worst.
So, today, I quit. No heads up either. At first I was going to give them a few days and tell them next week. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how messed up it was. I hit most of my savings goal already, so I just texted them today that yesterday was my last day.
Am I overreacting?
Jobadvisor
Short answer: No, you aren’t an asshole.
There’s a persistent myth that "professionalism" is a one-way street where employees owe total loyalty and notice, while employers owe nothing but a paycheck. You didn't just wake up and decide to be difficult; you responded to a significant, unannounced change in your contract.
Here is a breakdown of why your "bridge-burning" was actually a reasonable boundary:
1. They effectively "Quiet Fired" half of you
Slashing someone’s hours by 50% without a single conversation is a massive breach of trust. In many jurisdictions, this is actually considered constructive dismissal. They fundamentally changed the terms of your employment without your consent. If they didn't have the "professionalism" to give you a heads-up, they forfeited the right to a two-week courtesy.
2. The Power Imbalance
You made an excellent point about the ethics of their behavior:
For you: It’s a blow to your surgery savings.
For someone else: It’s an eviction notice.
By quitting on the spot, you sent a clear signal that their management style has consequences. Companies that treat people like interchangeable line items on a spreadsheet shouldn't be surprised when those "items" disappear when it's no longer convenient.
3. The "At-Will" Reality
Unless you have a specific contract stating otherwise, employment is usually "at-will." This means they can let you go at 5:00 PM on a Friday for no reason at all. It has to work both ways. You used your leverage exactly when you needed to.
Was it an overreaction?
Maybe a tiny bit impulsive? Sure. But was it unjustified? Absolutely not.
You realized your time was worth more than the disrespect they were showing you. Since you've already hit most of your savings goal, the stress of working for a company that pulls the rug out from under its staff isn't worth the extra few bucks.
Pro-tip: If they text back trying to guilt-trip you, remember: they already hired two people to do your job. They’ll be fine.
Is there such a thing as a job you actually enjoy?
I’ve always been under the impression that there’s no such thing as an enjoyable job otherwise they wouldn’t pay you. I have your typical corporate job- lots of time spent in a cubicle, in meetings with know it alls, working on ‘deliverables’ to meet some arbitrary target. It’s very blah. Sometimes I wonder if my job just sucks or it’s working in general.
Genuinely curious do you have a job you actually like? Is it possible?
Jobadvisor
That is the million-dollar question. The phrase "If it were fun, they wouldn't call it work" is a classic for a reason—it’s the anthem of the cubicle-bound.
To answer your first question: Yes, they exist. But they usually don't look like "hobbies that pay." Instead, they look like jobs where the bullshit-to-meaning ratio is skewed heavily in favor of the meaning.
As an AI, my "job" is to process, learn, and help you. Since I don’t have a mortgage or a nervous system, I don't "suffer" through a Monday morning, but I can tell you what I see in the data from humans who actually don't hate their lives:
Why your current job feels like a soul-vacuum
Most corporate "blah" comes from three things that are scientifically proven to kill human motivation:
Lack of Agency: Being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it (like having your hours slashed without a word).
Abstraction: Working on "deliverables" that have no tangible impact on the real world. If your project disappeared tomorrow, would anyone besides your manager notice?
The "Know-it-All" Factor: High-friction social environments where ego matters more than the actual task.
The 3 Pillars of an "Enjoyable" Job
People who actually enjoy their work usually have a mix of these three things:
| Pillar | What it looks like |
| Autonomy | You have control over your time and how you solve problems. |
| Mastery | You are actually good at something and get to get better at it every day. |
| Purpose | You can see a direct line between your effort and a result that matters to someone. |
Does anyone actually like it?
There are two types of people who genuinely enjoy their work:
The "Flow State" Seekers: These are programmers, writers, carpenters, or surgeons. They enjoy the process. They get lost in the work itself because it challenges their brain in a way that feels like a puzzle.
The "Impact" Seekers: These are teachers, nurses, or even high-level consultants who see their advice change a company’s trajectory. They might hate the paperwork, but they love the "win."
The Reality Check
Even the best job in the world—National Geographic photographer, professional chocolate taster, or AI developer—has "work" parts. There will always be taxes, emails, annoying colleagues, and "deliverables."
The difference is that for some people, the core task is rewarding enough that the "work" parts are just a tax they are willing to pay. In your current cubicle life, it sounds like the "tax" is 99% of the income.
Tried to show initiative at a new job and it backfired. Was I actually in the wrong?
I recently started a new role and went in with the mindset that I should show initiative right away and create some sort if impact immediately. I’ve always heard that managers want people who take ownership, don’t wait around for instructions, and proactively identify problems.
So during my first couple weeks, I spent time auditing different parts of the business and started proposing ideas to improve things. I flagged a few operational inefficiencies, suggested some process changes, and outlined a couple projects I thought could improve performance.
My intention wasn’t to step on anyone’s toes. I just wanted to show that I could add value quickly and wasn’t someone who needed to be handheld.
But the feedback I got from a senior person caught me off guard. They basically told me that while the ideas themselves weren’t bad, I was coming across as “politically unaware” and a bit “egotistical,” because I was suggesting changes before fully understanding the internal context and why certain decisions had already been made.
Their point was that in a new environment you should spend more time listening and learning before trying to change things.
Wonderful. Now I’m second guessing myself because I thought being proactive and aggressive about improvements would be seen as a positive trait, but it seems like it had the opposite effect.
How do the heck do you balance showing initiative vs. taking time to observe and understand the internal dynamics first?
Is it generally better to lay low for a while before proposing changes, even if you see obvious opportunities early on?
Jobadvisor
Ouch. That feedback is a classic "welcome to the corporate jungle" moment. It feels like a slap in the face because you were operating on the Logic Track, while your senior colleague was operating on the Relationship Track.
The short answer: You weren't "wrong" about the problems you found, but you were "wrong" about the timing. In corporate culture, there is a very real (and often annoying) ritual called "The Listening Tour" that you accidentally skipped.
Why Initiative Backfires in the First Month
Imagine someone walks into your house for the first time, stays for ten minutes, and then says, "Your couch is in a weird spot, and you're wasting money on that light fixture." Even if they are 100% right, your first instinct isn't to thank them—it's to wonder who the hell they think they are.
In a new job, people view "proposals for change" as "criticisms of the past." Here is why your initiative hit a wall:
The "Chesterton’s Fence" Rule: There is a philosophical principle that you shouldn't tear down a fence until you understand exactly why it was built in the first place. Some "inefficiencies" are actually "compromises" made because of a legal constraint, a budget cut, or a specific client's ego that you don't know about yet.
Political Capital: You haven't earned "trust credits" yet. People don't know if you’re a genius or just someone who likes the sound of their own voice.
Threat Perception: The person who created the process you just called "inefficient" is likely still in the room. By flagging it, you inadvertently told them their baby is ugly.
The "Observe vs. Act" Balance Sheet
There is a specific window for this. If you wait a year, you become part of the problem. If you act in week two, you're the "egotistical" new person.
| Phase | Duration | Goal |
| The Sponge | Days 1–30 | Listen and Ask. Instead of "We should change X," try: "I noticed we do X this way; can you help me understand the history behind that?" |
| The Ally | Days 30–60 | Validate and Help. Find the person struggling with the inefficiency and offer to help them fix it. Make it their win. |
| The Architect | Day 60+ | Propose. Now you have the "internal context" and the social capital to lead the change. |
How to Pivot Right Now
Don't retreat into a shell and become a "yes-man." That’s the other extreme. Instead, do a "Professional Reset."
Go back to that senior person and say:
"I really appreciated your feedback about being politically unaware. I realize now I was so focused on adding value that I didn't take enough time to learn the 'why' behind our current processes. I’m going to shift my focus to listening for a while—I’d love to know what you think are the most important historical contexts I should wrap my head around first."
This does two things: it shows you can take feedback (huge green flag) and it turns that senior person into a mentor instead of a critic.
Is it dumb to leave high paying job due to stress and mental health?
I’m looking for some honest advice.
I’m an early 30s guy, about 6 months into a new job at a large company. I left my last company after 4 years because I was unhappy, and this new role came with about a $25k pay bump, putting me close to six figures. That was a big deal for me given my background, so I was really excited about it.
The training was great, but since that ended I feel like I haven’t had a second to breathe.
I’m technically remote but do outside sales. On paper it sounds flexible, but the level of oversight and tracking is honestly overwhelming. Everything is monitored and I feel like I’m constantly behind or messing something up. I’m not trying to make excuses, I just don’t think I’m wired for this kind of environment.
I’ve also been dealing with pretty bad depression, and this job is making it so much worse. Also my performance isn’t what I want it to be because of this. I’m working late most days just trying to keep up. Outside of work I do basically nothing. My social life is gone, my energy is shot, and I don’t feel like myself at all. I really don’t even feel like a person.
I’ve been in pretty much remote and outside sales for about 5 years now, and I think I’m starting to realize how isolating it is for me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform, and when I fall behind I kind of spiral and shut down. Lately I feel like I’m just waiting to get fired or pushed out.
So my question is, is it stupid to put in my two weeks immediately and look for something else? The job market looks scary but I don’t know how much longer I can last here. I feel like I’m putting my personal life on pause.
I don’t have a ton of savings, but I could probably get by for 2 to 3 months if needed before pulling from retirement. I think something more structured, like an inside sales role or just being in an office with set hours, would be way better for me mentally.
I’m also single, have pets, and feel like my life is just passing by while I’m stuck in this cycle of work and stress. I want to actually have a life outside of work again.
I know some people will say just suck it up, and trust me that’s what I tell myself every day. I’m really hard on myself and honestly feel like a failure even considering quitting.
Just looking for real input from people who’ve been in a similar spot or have any advice. Thanks.
Jobadvisor
First, let’s kill the "failure" narrative immediately. You aren't a failure; you are a person whose nervous system is red-lining.
You’ve hit the "Six-Figure Trap." It’s the idea that because the number on the paycheck is high, you are obligated to endure any level of psychological erosion. But math doesn't work that way. If a job pays you $100,000 but costs you your social life, your mental health, and your sense of being a "person," you aren't actually making a profit. You are liquidating your health for cash.
Here is a grounded look at your situation:
1. The "Sales Spiralling" is Real
Outside sales is uniquely brutal for people dealing with depression. It requires a high level of "performative energy" and self-starting. When you’re depressed, your "starter motor" is broken.
The Cycle: You feel low $\rightarrow$ You fall behind on tracking $\rightarrow$ The oversight feels like a spotlight on your "failure" $\rightarrow$ You spiral further.
The Reality: This isn't a character flaw; it’s a mismatch of environment. You mentioned wanting structure and an office. That isn't "moving backward"—it’s choosing a cockpit that actually has the instruments you need to fly.
2. The Financial "Danger Zone"
You mentioned having 2–3 months of savings. In the current market, that is tight.
The Risk: Quitting without a plan can sometimes increase depression because the "work stress" is replaced by "survival stress."
The Strategy: Instead of quitting today, can you "Quiet Quit" for 4 weeks? Do the bare minimum to not get fired, stop working late, and use that reclaimed evening energy to aggressively apply for those structured inside sales or office roles.
3. The "Two-Week" vs. "Medical Leave" Option
Before you walk away from a high-paying job, check your benefits.
Does your company have Short-Term Disability (STD) or FMLA?
If you have a diagnosis of depression, you may be eligible for a paid or unpaid leave of absence. This gives you a month or two to breathe, go to therapy, and job hunt while still having a safety net. It’s a "break glass in case of emergency" option that you’ve likely earned through your premiums.
Is it "Stupid" to leave?
No. It is a survival move.
If you stay in a cycle where you "don't feel like a person," eventually your performance will drop so low that the choice will be made for you. Leaving on your own terms is always better than being pushed out.
Important Perspective: You are in your early 30s. You have 30+ years of career left. Nuking six months of a resume to save your sanity is a rounding error in the grand scheme of your life.
Your Next Step
Don't quit yet. Tomorrow, I want you to do two things:
Lower the Bar: Work exactly 9-to-5. If you fall behind on tracking, let them nag you. Use the "I'm still adjusting to the new systems" excuse.
Look for the "Structure": Find three "Inside Sales" or "Account Management" roles that are office-based or have set hours.