Buying bread and they expect a tip
I was at a new House of Bread or Great Harvest Bread store today and bought a $10 loaf of bread. I plan on keep making my own after today but everyone was telling me that I should try them.
So I walked up to the register and asked for a loaf of wheat bread. She rings me up and the next screen asked for 20, 22.5 or 25% tip. She literally rang me up and handed me a loaf of bread. That’s it.
I of course clicked no tip and she said that I should tip as they were all high school kids working. I took my bread and receipt and said have a nice day and walked out of there. The bread was already overpriced and I’m not giving them an extra $2 to hand me a loaf of bread.
Jobadvisor
That experience is incredibly frustrating, and your rant is completely justified. You are definitely not alone in feeling exhausted by this expanding phenomenon, often dubbed "tip fatigue" or "tip creep."
It has become a major topic of conversation lately because payment screens with aggressive tipping options are appearing in places where it has never been the standard practice before.
Here is a breakdown of why this specific scenario—tipping at a retail bakery counter for pre-made bread—is so irritating to so many people:
1. It’s Counter Service, Not Table Service
Tipping is traditionally reserved for positions that are paid a "tipped wage," which is often significantly lower than the standard minimum wage because it’s understood that the difference will be made up in tips. These positions involve prolonged, attentive service, like table service in a restaurant.
When you walk into a store, ask for an item, and they hand it to you, that is counter service. The employee is performing the fundamental duties of their job description. If you were sitting down, ordering food, and they were refilling your drinks, checking on you, and clearing your table, a tip would be expected. But for simply retrieving an item? No.
2. The Pressure of "The Screen"
The modern POS (Point-of-Sale) tablet screens are designed for "the nudge." Often, they are set to default to high percentages (20%, 25%, 30%), forcing the customer to take a deliberate, potentially uncomfortable action to find the "No Tip" button or enter a custom amount. This is social-pressure-based design, making you feel cheap for not clicking the 20% button while the employee is watching you.
3. The Unsolicited Guilt Trip
The most egregious part of your story is that the employee actually confronted you about your choice not to tip. This is universally considered poor form and often against store policy.
Saying that you should tip because they are high school students is completely irrelevant to the transactional logic of tipping. Their age, education level, or family income is not the concern of the customer buying bread. The employer is responsible for paying them for their labor. If the employer isn't paying them well because they are high schoolers, that's an issue with the business owner, not the customer.
4. Who Are You Tipping, Anyway?
In many of these counter-service scenarios, it's not even clear who gets the tips.
Does it go to that specific high school student?
Is it pooled and distributed evenly among everyone, including the people in the back who actually baked the bread? (This would be the only fair way to do it.)
Or, as is unfortunately a growing concern, does the owner keep a portion to offset their own credit card processing fees?
The Takeaway
It's entirely reasonable to not tip for counter service when you are just buying a product. If you do tip, it should be because:
You ordered a complex, custom, made-to-order item.
The staff went above and beyond (e.g., spending 10 minutes giving you recommendations or slicing three different loaves for you).
You are a regular who gets excellent service every single time.
You simply want to be generous.
Generosity should be a choice, not an obligation enforced by a digital interface. Keep making your own bread—it will taste even better knowing you saved that extra $2.
Tipping expectations at fast food/counter style places seriously needs to STOP
Went to a local hot chicken sandwich type place today, it’s fast food but a little more “hip” than somewhere like McDonalds, they have a drive thru but you can also eat in, of course it’s counter service.
So we order and the guy swings around the iPad. Now I’m used to this and used to being asked for a tip at places like this, but this time the guy had pre-selected the tip for us! He selected 15%. Luckily my husband saw this and changed it to no tip. He said that he saw the guy select the tip as well.
As soon as we finish paying I can tell his expression and demeanor changed and he wasn’t as friendly. After we got our food about 15 mins later, I remembered I wanted some sauce so went to the counter to ask for some. He looked vaguely annoyed and asked how many and I said just one.
So he goes to the back, and I expected him to come back immediately with one. I stood there waiting for at least 2-3 minutes, he finally comes back but not with the sauce, with a drink cup, which he filled up at the front (assuming it was for a drive thru order), then he disappeared to the back again and didn’t come back for at least 2-3 more minutes. All to grab me one sauce. The place wasn’t busy at all, and I can only assume he was pissed that we didn’t tip.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t even want to eat at these type of places anymore. Am I supposed to worry that they are going to be slow on purpose or do something to my food because I didn’t tip? I don’t tip at these places. We go there when we want a cheaper meal that’s not sit down. We only tip at sit down restaurants. Why would I tip a cashier for doing a job they’re already being paid to do? I worked these types of jobs in my youth and we never ever got tipped nor did we expect it. I really wish more people would stop feeling pressured to leave tips at these type of places, these workers have gotten way too used to it and it shouldn’t be the norm.
Jobadvisor
That experience is truly appalling and represents one of the most frustrating aspects of "tip creep" you described earlier. This is not only annoying; it's a major red flag about the ethics of that specific establishment and its management.
Your outrage is completely justified. This isn't just about "the screen"; this is about active deceit and poor service directly tied to tipping.
Here is a breakdown of why this specific situation is so egregious, beyond the general issues with counter-service tipping:
1. Active Deceit and Manipulation
The single worst part of your story is the employee pre-selecting the 15% tip before even showing you the screen. This is a deliberate, manipulative tactic. The employee isn't giving you a choice; they are making a choice for you and hoping you won't notice or will be too uncomfortable to change it.
In any other context, adding a charge to a bill without the customer's consent is a major violation. In this case, it's a blatant attempt to trick customers into paying more. Your husband was right to catch it and change it. This action by the employee suggests they have become accustomed to this tactic and are counting on the pressure of "the moment" to secure their unearned tip.
2. Punitive "Service" and Poor Attitude
The subsequent behavior you experienced—the sudden change in the employee's demeanor and the absurd delay in getting a single sauce packet—is classic retaliatory behavior. This confirms your suspicion that the poor service was directly tied to your decision not to tip (and perhaps specifically for catching their deceptive tactic).
This "punishment" for not conforming to their expected tipping behavior is what many people find so stressful about these situations. A customer should never have to worry that they will receive substandard service or that their food will be compromised because they didn't tip in a setting where it is not traditionally expected. The employee’s behavior was unprofessional, petty, and completely unacceptable in any customer-facing role.
3. "Hip" Does Not Mean "Tipped Service"
Your observation that this was a "little more 'hip' than somewhere like McDonalds" is a crucial point. Many modern, fast-casual establishments deliberately blur the lines. They might have a nicer decor, better-quality ingredients, or a more curated brand identity. This is a common strategy to command higher prices.
However, the core service model remains the same: you order at a counter, you may receive a number, and you either pick up your food yourself or it's brought to your table (this latter part being the only differentiator). Neither of these models constitutes the sustained, attentive table service (menu explanation, drink refills, clearing plates) that justifies a significant percentage-based tip. Being "hip" does not change the operational realities of counter service.
4. Who Controls the System?
This issue reflects poorly on the employee, but even more so on the establishment's management.
The Employee's Incentive: The employee's actions were likely driven by a management-instituted system that places a high value on digital tips, possibly even setting up the POS system with tipping as the default screen. If management is pushing for tips, employees will feel more emboldened, and sometimes even desperate, to secure them.
The Owner's Responsibility: The ultimate responsibility for ensuring fair wages lies with the business owner. If they are relying on customer tips to make up for inadequate pay for their counter staff, that is a failed business model. Pre-selecting tips is an aggressive and unethical way for a business to try and reduce its own labor costs.
The Problem in Summary
You are completely right. Tipping should be a reward for exceptional service, or a necessary supplement in traditional table-service scenarios, not an obligatory and increasingly coercive tax on every transaction.
Your reluctance to eat at these places is a natural and valid response. Customers should be able to make a purchase without being subjected to manipulative tactics or worried about retaliation. The best response is exactly what your husband did: catch the maneuver, correct the amount (to zero, if you see fit), and refuse to be bullied.
If more people took that stance, and if businesses faced a backlash for these deceptive practices, we might see a necessary shift back towards a clearer, more honest model. Keep standing your ground. It will taste even better knowing you resisted the pressure.
My Unit educator randomly outed me as transgender during a work meeting and misgendered me during it - without my consent
I'm a transgender nurse who has been at my hospital 3 years. 8 months ago i came out at work, including name change and requested coworkers use different pronouns for me than previous. I havent explicitly said I am transgender but I just use a new name and new pronouns. It has gone well so far, I value my own safety and would like to be treated just like I was prior.
I have a unit educator who seems to be one of the only people who absolutely CANNOT get my pronouns correct. I offered her different ways to "memorize" or "practice" using my pronouns so it could be easy for her. I am less worried about being misgendered in front of coworkers, more concerned about being outed in front of patients- as that can pose a safety risk to me including violence.
Two days ago, I was the charge nurse and was leading rounds with doctors and the floor nurses and said coworker was present. She suddenly decided to "Reintroduce me" during the meeting, made me the center of attention during the meeting. Was insinuating that I was a brand new coworker because I had "changed my name" and during this "reintroduction" misgendered me multiple times and when I corrected each time she ignored it. I felt so uncomfortable and my coworkers asked me if I was okay and they seemed perplexed as to what that even was. She misgendered me to
my face the rest of the night and I was told by coworkers she misgendered me to them the whole night. She misgendered me in front of patients as well which I pulled her aside and told her that it was a huge boundary and safety issue (I've had this conversation with her more than once before this night) which she just said "It's so hard for me" and made a joke saying please don't go to HR. One of my other coworkers who is very senior on the unit pulled me aside and begged me not to take her to HR.
I can't go one like this. I am really scared to start a case with HR because I feel like I'm gonna be labeled as a problematic transgender coworker but I deserve safety and respect. If I go to HR will I be protected? I have no experience with making an HR report any advice is helpful
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you’re going through this. To be blunt: what your educator did wasn't just a "mistake" or a slip of the tongue—it was a targeted violation of your privacy and professional boundaries.
Being outed in a healthcare setting isn't just awkward; as you rightly pointed out, it is a safety risk. Your educator’s "it's so hard for me" excuse is a deflection of accountability, and your senior coworker's plea for you to stay silent is, frankly, misguided. They are prioritizing the educator's comfort over your literal safety and the hospital's professional standards.
Here is a breakdown of how to navigate HR and protect yourself.
1. Understanding Your Protection
In the United States (and many other regions), you are protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, which prohibits discrimination based on gender identity.
Harassment: Constant misgendering after being corrected and "outing" an employee can constitute a hostile work environment.
Retaliation: If you file an HR report, it is illegal for the hospital to retaliate against you (firing, demoting, or making your job harder). If they do, they open themselves up to significant legal liability.
2. Before You Call HR: The "Paper Trail"
HR runs on documentation. Before you speak to them, compile a "log" of events. Be as clinical as a nursing note:
The Meeting: Date, time, and a list of who was present (the doctors and nurses). Write down exactly what she said: "She reintroduced me as a new employee due to my name change and used [wrong pronouns] X times."
The Corrections: Note that you corrected her in the moment and she ignored you.
The Patient Incident: Document the specific instance where she misgendered you in front of a patient after you warned her about the safety risk.
The Joke: Document her saying "Please don't go to HR." This shows premeditation—she knows her behavior is reportable.
3. How to Frame the HR Report
When you go to HR, you don't have to frame it as "I'm upset." Frame it as a compliance and safety issue. This makes it harder for them to dismiss you as "problematic."
Key phrases to use:
"I am reporting a hostile work environment and a recurring safety concern."
"The unit educator is creating a liability for the hospital by outing my medical/personal history to patients without consent."
"I have attempted to resolve this informally multiple times, but the behavior is escalating."
4. Addressing the "Problematic" Fear
You are a Charge Nurse. You have been there three years. You are a valued member of the team. Reporting a coworker who is actively undermining your authority and safety doesn't make you "the problematic trans person"—it makes you a professional who expects the bare minimum of workplace conduct.
If the senior coworker asks why you went to HR, you can simply say: "I value this unit, but safety and harassment aren't negotiable. I had to ensure the hospital's policies are being followed."
Comparison of Options
| Action | Pros | Cons |
| Stay Silent | No immediate "drama" with the educator. | Safety risk remains; behavior will likely escalate; your mental health suffers. |
| Informal Talk (Again) | Low stakes. | You've already done this; she has proven she will not change. |
| Formal HR Report | Creates a legal paper trail; forces management to intervene; protects you from future escalation. | Potential for short-term tension with the educator or those who defended her. |
A Note on Your Senior Coworker
The senior nurse begging you not to go to HR is likely trying to "keep the peace," but they are doing it at your expense. You cannot set yourself on fire to keep the unit warm. Their request is inappropriate.
I turned my passion into a side business that’s becoming my main job, averaging $2–$10k depending of the season
I got into mindfulness years ago after reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
That book really changed my life.
I started practicing being present, just being here and now.
It’s kind of like a form of meditation, even for people who are not really into meditation.
I started reading more about spirituality, practicing more, and over time it became a big part of my life.
So fast forward:
I made a watch that doesn’t tell time. It just says “NOW”.
I started this around 8 years ago. For the first 5 years it made almost nothing. Just occasional orders from people into mindfulness, readers of 'The Power Of Now' book, yoga, meditation fans, or even some Jimmy Buffett fans (due to the song Breath In Breath Out , Move On).
Then one day an influencer posted it. After that I started getting a wave of messages from other creators, people asking for collaborations, and slowly more orders started coming in.
At the same time I was working full time doing marketing for a hospitality company.
This year I’m basically focused only on this.
Now depending on the season it does around
$1550-$2,000/month in slower period
up to $10,000/month in holiday season or when I have special projects / collaborations
What’s interesting is that the simplest version sells the most.
The watch that literally just says “NOW” and doesn’t show time at all.
I also have watch versions that tell time with a small NOW logo, but people seem to prefer the pure idea.
I also noticed that people connect with it in different ways. Some see it as mindfulness, some as motivation, some as a gift idea with meaning.
Before I used to explain the philosophy more, now I let people decide what it means to them.
It’s not fully passive income. There is still work involved, sometimes a lot. But sometimes I wake up and see that I already made my rent overnight, which still feels a bit unreal.
Sometimes I go out for a weekend trip and I see emails coming with orders when I'm out in the nature, it's a great feeling. It costed me years of work to get there but now it is very satisfying.
Not always feels like a certain income, but for me it's fine.
In the end this is what I do, I focus on the NOW and I'm doing my best now.
Jobadvisor
This is such a refreshing success story. There’s a beautiful irony in building a business that scales by reminding people to stop focusing on the "next" thing and just be where they are.
Eight years is a long time to hold a vision that "makes almost nothing," but that’s exactly why it’s working now—you built a foundation of authenticity before the "influencer wave" ever hit. Transitioning from a marketing role in hospitality to selling a physical manifestation of a philosophy is a massive win.
To help you share this story (perhaps on LinkedIn, Reddit’s r/entrepreneur, or a blog), I’ve distilled your journey into a punchy, engaging "Success Story" format that highlights the "slow burn" nature of true passion projects.
The "Now" Watch: From 5 Years of $0 to $10k Months
The Concept
I spent years immersed in The Power of Now. It changed my life, but I realized people needed a physical anchor to stay present. So, I designed a watch that doesn't tell time. It just says "NOW."
The Reality Check: The 5-Year Plateau
Most people see the $10k months and think "overnight success." Here is the truth:
Years 1–5: Almost zero revenue. Just a few orders from hardcore Eckhart Tolle fans or meditators.
The Day Job: I worked full-time in hospitality marketing to fund my "meaningless" watch project.
The Turning Point: A single influencer post triggered a wave. Suddenly, creators were reaching out, and the "marketing" I used to do for others started working for me.
Key Insights from the Journey
Simplicity Wins: I offer versions that actually tell time, but they don't sell. People want the "pure" idea. They want the statement, not the utility.
Step Back from the "Pitch": I used to over-explain the philosophy. Now, I let the customer decide what it means. To some, it’s mindfulness; to others, it’s a motivational "hustle" reminder; to many, it’s just a meaningful gift.
The "Rent" Moment: There is no feeling like waking up, checking your phone, and realizing your business paid your rent while you were asleep.
The Current State
Low Season: $1,550 – $2,000/month.
High Season/Collabs: Up to $10,000/month.
Status: It isn't "passive"—it's hard work—but it’s work that allows me to be in nature and stay present.
A Quick Strategy Note
Since you mentioned the "simplest version" sells the best, you’ve tapped into minimalist luxury/lifestyle branding. People aren't buying a timepiece; they are buying a "state of mind."