29 and wasted my 20s. No idea what I’m doing next.
I’m 29 and still working at the same retail job I started at 23. At first it was just temporary. Then I got comfortable. Now six years passed and I feel like I blinked and nothing changed. I’m not broke, but I’m not building anything either. I want a better income and a better life, but I genuinely don’t know where to start.
I don’t have a big friend group, I mostly stay home, and lately I’ve felt this urge to do something different but I don’t even know what that means. Any advice is appreciated.
Jobadvisor
First off, let’s breathe. You didn't "waste" your 20s; you survived them, gained six years of professional stability, and managed to avoid being broke. That is a massive foundation that many people at 29 would kill for.
The feeling that you "blinked" and time passed is just your brain finally getting bored of the comfort zone. That itch is a good sign—it means you’re ready for an upgrade.
Here is a roadmap to help you figure out what "something different" actually looks like.
1. Audit Your "Retail Superpowers"
Six years in retail isn't just stocking shelves or ringing registers. You’ve been in a pressure cooker of human psychology and logistics. To transition, stop calling yourself a "retail worker" and start seeing yourself as a professional with these skills:
Conflict Resolution: You can handle an angry person without losing your cool.
Inventory/Operations: You understand how products move and how systems fail.
Prioritization: You know how to manage five different tasks while a customer is staring at you.
2. The "Elimination" Strategy
Since you don't know what you want to do, start with what you know you hate.
Do you want to stop working weekends? (Rules out many service/hospitality roles).
Do you want to work with your hands or at a desk?
Do you want to work with people or in solitude?
Try the "Job Board Deep Dive": Spend one hour on LinkedIn or Indeed. Look at titles you’ve never heard of. If something sounds 20% interesting, save it. Don’t look at requirements yet—just look at the "What you'll do" section.
3. Low-Risk Career Pivots
At 29, you have plenty of time to reskill without going back for a four-year degree. Look into these "stepping stone" careers that value retail experience:
| Career Path | Why it fits | How to start |
| Sales/Account Mgmt | You already know how to sell and talk to people. | Look for Entry-level SDR (Sales Dev Rep) roles. |
| Project Coordination | You’re used to managing tasks and timelines. | Get a CAPM certification or take a Google Project Mgmt course. |
| Trade Schools | High demand, great pay, very "different" from retail. | Look into local electrician or HVAC apprenticeships. |
| Insurance/Real Estate | High autonomy and income potential. | Requires a state license, which usually takes a few months of study. |
4. Shake Up the Social Stagnation
You mentioned you mostly stay home. When your environment stays the same, your thoughts stay the same.
Change your "Third Place": Start going to a library, a coffee shop, or a gym at the same time every week. You don't have to talk to anyone yet—just exist in a different space.
Micro-Volunteering: Spend one Saturday a month helping at a shelter or a community garden. It gets you out of your head and introduces you to people outside your current bubble.
5. The "30th Birthday" Goal
You have roughly a year (or less) before you hit 30. Don't try to change your whole life by next Tuesday.
The Goal: By 30, be in a different building than the one you are in now.
Whether that’s a new office, a new city, or just a new training program, make "movement" your only metric of success.
College is making me miserable and I don't know what to do
I am 22 years old and currently a college student who still has another two years until graduation. My degree is practically useless without a Masters or some connections (English and history). I have no friends at college despite putting myself out there and joining clubs. I am awkward and a little bit "weird," so even feigning confidence and extroversion has proven useless. I can't take the loneliness anymore. I can't even sleep a lot of the time because I spend so much time ruminating. I am either on the verge of tears or crying after spending a day at college alone. I am so incredibly unhappy there and on a constant emotional rollercoaster from the lack of quality sleep. I tried transferring colleges in a last-ditch effort to start from scratch before dropping out. I dislike the new college even more. I wish that I could turn off the part of myself that desires social connection because I have been lonely ever since my formative years. I was diagnosed with ASD as a child, so unfortunately, this is just my life.
If I drop out, then there are no other options for me. At least the degree is better than no degree. I have worked some pretty terrible jobs such as a part-time janitor or overnight gym cleaner, and I just can't seem to break into retail or hospitality. I am probably too awkward to be considered for those roles. I have tried over ten therapists and even forced myself to socialise on a daily basis, but I never seem to improve much. I'm not intelligent, charismatic, or skilled at anything. I feel as if I am going nowhere with my life. I am currently stuck in a three week depressive episode. My doctor prescribed me a strong dose of antidepressants but my controlling mother threw my meds out. I feel stuck in this state and have to tough out college somehow.
There is nothing for me to do. I am certain that I will fail out of college from depression, and then my life will probably be over. Maybe I am just catastrophizing right now, but I can't feel hope or think logically anymore. I wish that I could just move away and get far away from all the problems in my life, but I know that I would still be the very same person. I can't think of anything that I can do, but I am becoming desperate. I need an out from college because I can't live like this. Maybe it's not even college, and it's just a convenient scapegoat.
Jobadvisor
I hear how much pain you’re in, and I want to start by being incredibly direct: what you are feeling right now is not a "character flaw" or a "lack of intelligence." You are currently trying to run a marathon with a broken leg while someone (your mother) is actively taking away your crutches.
It is nearly impossible to think logically, socialize, or pass classes when you are chronically sleep-deprived and in the middle of a clinical depressive episode. You aren't failing at life; you are being crushed by circumstances that would break anyone.
Here is a grounded perspective on how to navigate this "stuck" feeling.
1. The "Useless Degree" Myth
You mentioned English and History are "useless." As a peer-level reality check: those degrees are actually "versatility" degrees. Corporations, government agencies, and nonprofits don't hire English majors to analyze Shakespeare; they hire them because they can synthesize complex information and write a coherent email—skills that are shockingly rare.
However, if the debt or the environment of college is killing you, a degree is not worth your life. There are paths that don't involve retail or "service-with-a-smile" roles.
2. Addressing the "Social Exhaustion"
You have ASD and you’ve been forcing yourself to "feign confidence and extroversion." That is called masking, and it is one of the most exhausting things a human brain can do.
The "Turn Off" Switch: You can’t turn off the need for connection, but you can change the "type" of connection. Stop trying to win over the "club" crowd. Many neurodivergent people find their "tribe" in low-stakes, parallel-play environments (like hobby groups for gaming, coding, or crafts) where you don't have to make eye contact or be "charismatic" to be accepted.
The Weirdness: Lean into it. The most interesting people I know were "the weird kid" at 22. The world outside of college is much bigger and has plenty of room for "awkward" people who just do their jobs well.
3. Practical Survival Steps (The "Right Now" Plan)
Since you feel like you're spiraling, we need to move from "big life goals" to "survival for the next 24 hours."
Medical Intervention: Your mother throwing out your prescribed medication is a serious breach of your autonomy and health. If you are 22, you have a right to medical privacy. Can you talk to your doctor or pharmacist about "pharmacy pickup only" or keeping your meds in a locked box or at a trusted location?
The "Incomplete" Option: Most colleges have a "Medical Withdrawal" or "Incomplete" status. You don't have to "drop out" (which feels permanent and like failure). You can "pause" for a semester to stabilize your mental health without losing your progress.
The Job Market: If you hate cleaning and can't do retail, look into Data Entry, Library Page roles, or Night Audit at a hotel. These roles value "quiet and reliable" over "charismatic and bubbly."
4. Reframing the "Out"
You said you want to move away but fear you'd be the "same person." While you take your brain with you wherever you go, environment matters. If your current environment includes a controlling parent and a campus that triggers your trauma, changing that environment will change your experience.
A Small Exercise in Logic
You feel like you have no skills, but you've managed to hold down "terrible" jobs like janitorial work. That requires discipline and resilience that many of your "charismatic" peers don't have. You are tougher than you are giving yourself credit for.
28F, have lived with my parents for almost 4 years...feeling so unbelievably stuck
Hello all. At 24 years old, I got divorced and moved back into my parent's house. It will be 4 years in June that I have been here. In this time I have worked countless dead end jobs but did manage to pay off my student debt. Last fall, I started a job as a Preschool Music Teacher. This has been a dramatically positive shift in my career and I genuinely love it but it pays garbage. Additionally, I still can't shake the feeling of failure and deep stuck-ness. I dream all the time about travelling. But I can't seem to make my mind up about anything. One day I am looking into teaching English abroad, the next I am searching craigslist ads for apartments. I am so tired of my living situation. It is clear that I outgrew this environment a long time ago, and I want to move on. There's a running joke I have with my friends bc every year since I moved back I have said "this is the year I will move out" and then it never happens. I MUST be doing something wrong. I have felt paralyzed by indecision & do not know how to break this cycle. Also feeling extremely regretful of not having done anything sooner. I have been single and without a car note or rent this whole time - why haven't I traveled or taken advantage of my youth? 30 is quickly approaching and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Any advice or words of encouragement is greatly appreciated. TIA <3
Jobadvisor
The "trapped" feeling you’re experiencing is a classic case of Analysis Paralysis fueled by the safety net of your parents' home. Because you aren’t "on the street," the urgency isn't visceral, so your brain defaults to "someday" instead of "today."
First, let’s kill the "failure" narrative. You got divorced at 24 (a massive life upheaval), moved back, worked through the grind, and paid off your student debt. Do you know how many 28-year-olds are drowning in interest? You are entering your 30s with a clean slate. That isn't "nothing to show for it"—that is a financial superpower.
Here is how to break the cycle of "This is the year" and actually make it happen.
1. The "Two-Path" Decision (Pick One by Friday)
The reason you keep flip-flopping between Craigslist and teaching abroad is that they represent two different desires: Independence vs. Adventure. You are trying to solve both at once and getting overwhelmed.
Path A: The Local Launch (Independence). You stay in your current job, find a roommate or a studio, and finally have a door that is yours. This builds stability.
Path B: The Global Pivot (Adventure). You commit to TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). Your preschool music experience makes you a goldmine for international schools.
The Rule: You cannot look at Craigslist and TEFL boards in the same 24-hour period. It’s short-circuiting your brain. Pick a "flavor" for the next 12 months and stick to it.
2. Stop Waiting for "The Feeling"
You mentioned you "can't make up your mind." Here is a secret: Action creates clarity; thinking creates doubt. You will never wake up and suddenly feel 100% certain about a move. You have to pick a direction while you are still 40% terrified and 60% unsure. The "stuck-ness" only dissolves once you’ve signed a lease or bought a plane ticket.
3. The "Cost of Comfort" Audit
You’ve had no rent or car note, but you haven't traveled. Why? Likely because when your living expenses are zero, your "idle" spending naturally expands to fill the gap, or you're subconsciously hoarding cash out of fear.
Open a "Freedom Fund": If you aren't paying rent, you should be "paying" a savings account exactly what rent would cost ($800–$1,200).
If you can't afford to "pay rent" to your savings account, you can't afford to move out yet. If you can, you’ll have a move-out deposit in three months.
4. Leverage the "Preschool Music" Win
You love your job, but it "pays garbage." In the adult world, a job you love that doesn't pay the bills is a hobby with a paycheck. * The Side Hustle: Can you offer private toddler music lessons on the weekends? Rich parents pay $50–$100 an hour for specialized "enrichment."
The Career Jump: Use this experience to apply for better-paying roles in private school arts programs or children's museum coordination.
5. Combatting the "Age 30" Panic
Society treats 30 like a closing door, but it’s actually just the beginning of "Youth with Money."
Perspective Shift: You spent your 20s clearing the wreckage of a divorce and debt. Your 30s are for actually building the life you want. You aren't "behind"; you just finished the boring prep work early.