Union Rep did not show up for PIP
So, I’m a supervisor and I posted for advice two weeks ago pertaining to this same situation. I did take some of you all advice so thank you. I’m here with another issue pertaining to the same story.
Two weeks ago my employee did not show up for the PIP as it was scheduled via teams. HR, union rep, and I were on the call. HR than advised that we would reschedule to another day and she told me to continue documenting behavior and update her weekly. She scheduled the PIP meeting for today. Myself and the employee were in my office on Teams, HR rep on Teams, but the union rep did not show 😑. HR called, text and emailed her.
I’m now very frustrated because I am doing all the things HR is telling me, but I’m annoyed at the fact that the meeting is rescheduled yet again bc ppl are not showing up. At this point how can HR and the union reinforce issues about attendance but we can’t even get a proper meeting scheduled to move the PIP to the next step. I’m sure the employee is not taking the process serious at this point. Do I need to escalate the entire situation to the director of HR or should I just wait to see what the HR rep says the next step should be at this point? I honestly do not have the sort of time in my day to continue to block out meeting schedules and people are not taking it serious and not showing up and I also am frustrated because I feel like the guidance I’m getting from HR is not being upheld.
Jobadvisor
I hear your frustration loud and clear. It’s incredibly demoralizing to be the one playing by the rules, documenting every detail, and carving out time in a busy schedule, only to have the "system" fail to show up.
There is a palpable irony in trying to address performance or attendance issues when the people tasked with enforcing the process aren't present. It sends a terrible message to the employee and makes you look like the one who can't get things moving.
Here is a breakdown of how to handle this without burning bridges or looking like the "problem" supervisor.
Why This Is Happening (The Logic)
Before escalating, it’s helpful to look at the "why" from the HR perspective, even if it’s annoying:
The "Due Process" Trap: In a union environment, if a PIP meeting proceeds without the requested representation, any subsequent discipline could be thrown out on a technicality (often called Weingarten Rights in the US). HR is likely being overly cautious to ensure the PIP is "bulletproof."
Union Strategy: Sometimes, reps use "strategic unavailability" to stall the process, hoping the supervisor gets tired and drops it.
Your Next Steps
While you might want to go straight to the Director, a measured escalation is usually more effective in a corporate/union environment.
1. Document the "No-Show" as a Business Obstacle
Send a follow-up email to your HR contact today. Don't just vent; frame it as a resource and productivity issue.
"I’m concerned that the repeated cancellations are undermining the seriousness of the PIP with the employee. Additionally, blocking these windows is impacting my ability to manage [Department/Project]. Since this is the second time the meeting couldn't proceed due to attendance, how are we ensuring the next date is firm?"
2. Request a "Plan B" from HR
Ask HR specifically: "If the Union Rep does not show up for the third attempt, what is the protocol?" * Can the employee waive representation?
Can a different steward be assigned?
Can the meeting proceed with a "notice of intent" if the rep is unresponsive?
3. The "Soft" Escalation
If your HR rep gives you a vague "we'll just reschedule" answer, then it is time to loop in your boss (the Department Director) rather than the HR Director. Let your boss know that you are trying to manage a performance issue but are being stalled by administrative hurdles. Managers usually have more luck pushing HR from the top down.
Internal Mindset Shift
You mentioned the employee probably isn't taking this seriously. You’re likely right. However, this actually works in your favor if you keep your cool.
Every week they aren't on a PIP is another week of documentation you are gathering.
If they continue to underperform while "waiting" for the meeting, your case for the next step (warning or termination) becomes even stronger because you’ve shown extreme patience.
Important Note: Do not discuss the Union Rep's absence with the employee. If they ask, simply say, "We are waiting on all parties to be available to ensure you have the proper representation. In the meantime, my expectations for your daily tasks remain [X]."
Need the best HR software for midsize teams [WA]
From a people ops perspective in a mid-sized company, the hardest part right now isn’t actually just hiring people, it’s keeping everything consistent after new hires join, since there are so many employee changes – promotion, offboarding, location changes, etc. Our biggest struggles are the constant role or location changes that make more work for us, since there are like 4 places our team needs to update info – across payroll, benefits enrollment, app permissions, etc.
We’ve outgrown the phase where small asks to our HR team are manageable, just with the sheer number of employees our company now has. Now we really need something with more automation but not something so enterprise that our small-ish HR team is overwhelmed.
What HR tools are other people ops teams relying on when headcount starts growing? We have no plans to onboard any more folks but just can’t take the volume we’re currently getting requests for.
Would be really helpful if you guys could add some pros/cons for solution suggestions too!
Jobadvisor
It is a common "growing pain" for mid-sized teams: you’ve moved past the "scrappy startup" phase where spreadsheets work, but you aren't ready for the "enterprise" nightmare of a six-month implementation.
For a People Ops team that is specifically struggling with consistency across role changes, location updates, and app permissions, there is one standout leader, followed by two excellent alternatives depending on your culture.
1. The Automation Leader: Rippling
If your biggest pain point is updating info in "4 different places" (Payroll, Benefits, IT, etc.), Rippling is designed specifically to solve that. It treats "Employee Data" as a single source of truth that pushes updates everywhere else automatically.
The "Magic" Feature: When you change an employee’s department or location in the HRIS, Rippling automatically updates their payroll tax jurisdiction, shifts their benefits eligibility, and can even trigger IT actions (like adding them to a new Slack channel or revoking access to a specific software).
Pros: * True Automation: The "Workflow Studio" lets you build "If/Then" rules for almost any change.
Unified IT/HR: It handles device management (laptops) and app provisioning (SaaS logins) alongside HR.
Scalable: You only pay for the modules you need (Payroll, Benefits, IT, etc.).
Cons: * Cost Creep: While the base price is low, adding multiple modules can make it more expensive than a flat-fee competitor.
Support: As they've grown, some users report that getting a human on the phone can be slower than smaller competitors.
2. The Culture & Analytics Pick: HiBob (or "Bob")
If your team is mid-sized but values "Employee Experience" and "Culture" as much as automation, HiBob is the current 2026 market favorite for modern teams.
The "Magic" Feature: It feels more like a social network than a database. It has a "Shoutouts" and "Kudos" feed built-in, and the Org Chart is interactive and visual, making it great for companies with frequent internal moves.
Pros:
Intuitive UI: Employees actually like using it, which reduces the "how do I change my address?" pings to HR.
Global-Ready: Excellent at handling multi-state or multi-country compliance without feeling clunky.
Advanced Analytics: Great "Lifecycle" dashboards that show you attrition risks and headcount trends.
Cons:
Implementation: Can be a bit more involved than a simpler tool like Gusto.
Premium Pricing: Usually sits at the higher end of the mid-market price bracket.
3. The "Keep it Simple" Standard: BambooHR
BambooHR is the "safe bet" for HR teams that want a clean, traditional interface that "just works" without the complexity of Rippling’s IT automation.
The "Magic" Feature: The mobile app is arguably the best in the industry for employees to request PTO or look up a coworker’s contact info on the fly.
Pros:
Fast Setup: You can usually be up and running in weeks, not months.
Approachability: It’s very easy for a small HR team to manage without needing a dedicated "System Administrator."
Customer Support: Consistently ranked high for their "human" support experience.
Cons:
Less Automation: It won't "talk" to your IT systems or automatically provision software like Rippling does.
Integration Limits: While it has an open API, the depth of its integrations is sometimes shallower than its competitors.
Comparison at a Glance
| Feature | Rippling | HiBob | BambooHR |
| Best For | Heavy Automation & IT | Culture & Global Teams | Simple, Clean Admin |
| App Permissions | Native (Auto-provisioning) | Via Integrations | Manual / Limited |
| User Experience | Technical/Powerful | Modern/Social | Friendly/Simple |
| Pricing Model | Modular (Pay per feature) | Quote-based (Premium) | Tiered (Pro/Adv) |
My Recommendation
If your frustration is the manual work of updating 4+ systems every time someone moves, Rippling is likely your best fit. It is the only tool that truly bridges the gap between HR data and "app permissions/payroll/benefits" in one click.
Does HR really keep resignation inquiries confidential?
If I inquire about hypotheticals with: rehire eligibility, unemployment benefits, clarification on PTO being paid out etc & ask to keep it confidential, will they? I asked to keep it confidential before inquiring and don’t plan on acting on it, the guidebook isn’t clear on certain things and needed clarification before deciding. She answered questions and didn’t say whether she would tell my boss or say this in fact will all be relayed. She just suggested scheduling an appt with her if I have any other questions. I live in FL but company is based in UT. I had an emergency happen these past two days, have been OOO & my boss is aware, should I expect that I’ll be confronted tomorrow?
Jobadvisor
To be direct: No, HR does not have a legal or professional "confidentiality" requirement like a doctor or a lawyer. While HR professionals generally aim to be discreet to maintain trust, they are employees of the company first. Their primary duty is to protect the organization’s interests. If they believe your "hypotheticals" suggest a risk to the business (like a sudden departure of a key supervisor or a potential legal claim), they are often encouraged—or even required—to inform management.
Here is the breakdown of your situation, specifically considering the Florida/Utah dynamic:
1. The "Confidentiality" Myth
When you ask HR to keep something confidential, it is a gentleman’s agreement, not a legal bond.
The Risk: If HR thinks your boss needs to start a "succession plan" (finding your replacement) because you’ve signaled you're leaving, they will tell your boss.
The "Emergency" Context: Since you’ve been OOO for two days for an emergency right after asking these questions, HR might connect those dots and assume you are actually out interviewing or have already quit. They may have briefed your boss to "be prepared."
2. Florida vs. Utah Nuances
FL (Your Location): Florida is an at-will state. You can be fired for almost any reason that isn't discriminatory. If your boss finds out you're looking to leave and decides to "accept your resignation early" (essentially firing you first), they generally can.
UT (Company Location): Utah is also strictly at-will. Utah HR teams are often very "by the book." If their policy says "report all potential separations to the department head," that is exactly what they will do, regardless of your request for secrecy.
3. Will you be confronted tomorrow?
It is a 50/50 toss-up, but you should prepare for a "temperature check" conversation.
The HR Red Flag: Asking about unemployment benefits and rehire eligibility is a massive signal that you are planning an exit. These aren't "curiosity" questions; they are "logistics of leaving" questions.
The Strategy: If confronted, lean into the "Emergency" you just had. You can frame the HR inquiry as part of a high-stress moment where you were "evaluating all your options and benefits" due to the personal crisis, but that you have decided to stay focused on your role.
Specific Answers to Your Hypotheses
In case HR didn't give you the full picture:
PTO Payout: Neither Florida nor Utah law requires an employer to pay out unused PTO unless it is explicitly promised in your written employee handbook or contract. If the book is silent, they don't have to pay a cent.
Unemployment: If you resign voluntarily, you are almost always ineligible for unemployment benefits. Inquiring about this with HR is usually the biggest "tell" that you are thinking of quitting.
At what point in your career/life did you feel ready for marriage?
I'm 29, been with my girlfriend for two years. She's starting to hint at engagement and marriage and I'm realizing I have no idea if I'm actually ready for that.
Career wise I'm doing okay. I'm a software engineer making around $140k. I have about $80k saved, my 401k is decent, I still have $30k in student loans but I'm handling it. On paper I'm probably more stable than a lot of people my age but I keep thinking about my coworker who got divorced last year. He's 35, lost half his savings, had to sell the condo, and now he's basically starting over financially. He told me he wishes he'd been smarter about protecting himself before getting married. That whole situation kind of messed with my head.
My girlfriend and I haven't really talked about money in depth. I know she makes less than me, maybe around $70k, and she has some credit card debt she's working on. She's mentioned wanting kids in the next few years, maybe buying a house. All of that sounds good in theory but I'm worried about mixing finances when we're not even on the same page about money. I brought up the idea of a prenup once and she looked at me like I'd just insulted her. Said that's something rich people do and we're not rich. I didn't push it but it's been in the back of my mind since then.
I love her but I also worked really hard to get where I am and the idea of potentially losing half of everything if things don't work out terrifies me. When did you actually feel ready to take that step?
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you’re experiencing a classic case of "Numerical Stability vs. Emotional Readiness." On paper, you’re killing it—$140k at 29 with a solid savings cushion is a position of strength. However, seeing a peer go through a "financial reset" is the equivalent of seeing a car crash on the highway; it’s natural to tap the brakes and check your seatbelt.
The truth is, "readiness" usually arrives when the fear of losing the person outweighs the fear of losing the assets. But that doesn't mean you should ignore your gut.
The "Prenup" Friction
Your girlfriend's reaction to the prenup is common but based on a misconception. People often view a prenup as a "divorce plan," when it's actually a financial blueprint.
The Reality: You aren't "rich," but you are solvent. You have $80k in liquid cash and a career trajectory that likely leads to a multi-million dollar net worth over the next 20 years.
The Reframing: A prenup isn't about "I don't trust you"; it's about "I want us to decide our future while we love each other, rather than letting a state judge decide it for us if we’re ever angry."
Signs You Might Not Be Ready (Yet)
You mentioned two major red flags that suggest your hesitation isn't just "cold feet," but actual due diligence:
The Debt Disparity: You have $80k saved; she has credit card debt. That is a fundamental difference in how you view "extra" money. If you get married without a plan, your savings essentially become the "emergency fund" for her high-interest debt.
The Communication Gap: If talking about money feels like an insult to her, you aren't ready for a house or kids yet. Those are the two most expensive and stressful financial projects a human can undertake.
How to Gauge Readiness
Most people feel "ready" when the transparency is 100%. If you want to move from "terrified" to "prepared," try these steps:
1. The "Open Books" Night
Before an engagement, sit down and show each other everything. Log into the accounts. If she’s hesitant to show her credit card balance or feels judged, that’s your signal that the foundation isn't solid yet.
2. The "Post-Nup" or Financial Agreement Talk
Instead of leading with "I want to protect my $80k," try leading with "I want us to be a powerhouse team. I want to help you kill that credit card debt, but I need us to be on the same page about how we save and spend."
3. Normalize the "Business" of Marriage
Marriage is a romantic union, but legally, it is a business contract. Your coworker’s mistake wasn't getting married; it was likely entering a legal contract without understanding the exit clauses.
My Perspective
You feel ready when you realize that marriage isn't just about "love"—it's about alignment. If you love her but her financial habits keep you up at night, you aren't being "unromantic" by pausing. You're being a Software Engineer: you're looking for bugs in the logic before you deploy the code.