A decade after terms like “ghosting” and “situationship” entered everyday conversation, we’re now firmly in a boom era of online dating vocabulary. Platforms like TikTok regularly propel fresh phrases into the mainstream. Some of these labels—such as “ghostlighting” or “zip-coding”—describe dynamics shaped by app-based courtship, while others—like “monkey-barring” or “avoidant discard”—repackage long-standing relational patterns in contemporary language.
Regardless of origin, this expanding lexicon performs a meaningful social function. It equips people with shared terminology to articulate the pleasures, ambiguities, and frustrations of modern romance. Even the more eccentric entries (yes, “Shrekking”) help codify experiences that might otherwise feel isolating, particularly for those encountering them for the first time.
At its core, this linguistic surge reflects what language has always done: provide conceptual tools for self-understanding and collective connection. Below is a refined guide to the key terms shaping this year’s dating discourse.
1. Chalance
The inverse of “nonchalance.” In dating contexts, “chalance” signals a preference for visible effort and emotional investment. It denotes a desire for a partner willing to be intentional and committed, rather than someone fixated on appearing detached or overly casual.
2. Ghostlighting
A hybrid of ghosting and gaslighting. This occurs when someone fades out or disappears, then later resurfaces and resumes communication as if no lapse occurred—often dismissing or minimizing your concerns if you question their behavior.
3. Sledging
A more strategic—and arguably manipulative—variation of cuffing season. “Sledging” describes entering a winter relationship with the predetermined intent to end it by spring, without disclosing that expiration date. The metaphor references dragging a sled through the snow, implying the unsuspecting partner is being pulled along without long-term consideration.
4. Friendfluence
The growing integration of friendship and dating ecosystems. According to Tinder’s Year in Swipe report, 42% of singles say friends significantly influence their romantic lives. Additionally, 37% express interest in double or group dates, and 34% look to their friends’ relationships as models of hope or guidance for their own.
5. Zip-Coding
This term has two primary meanings:
Narrowing your dating-app radius to hyper-local matches—often within the same ZIP code.
Maintaining a geographically contingent relationship, where exclusivity applies only when both people are physically in the same location.
6. Monkey-Barring
Borrowed from playground imagery, this refers to preparing your next romantic connection before fully exiting your current one—maintaining a grip on one partner while reaching for another.
7. Shrekking
Intentionally dating someone perceived as “below your league” to retain emotional leverage or minimize vulnerability. Ironically, to “get Shrekked” is to pursue this strategy only to end up rejected or heartbroken regardless.
8. Golden Retriever Boyfriend
A partner characterized by warmth, enthusiasm, loyalty, and emotional transparency. He is attentive, affectionate, and straightforward—prioritizing care over gamesmanship.
9. Black Cat Boyfriend
The brooding counterpart to the Golden Retriever archetype. Often independent, cerebral, or artistically inclined, he may appear aloof but expresses affection selectively and on his own terms.
10. Black Cat Girlfriend
The female analogue of the Black Cat persona: introspective, self-contained, and magnetically reserved. She values autonomy, often prefers solitude, and projects an understated intensity that draws others in.
11. The Avoidant Discard
A gradual emotional withdrawal that functions as a de facto breakup. Rather than ending the relationship explicitly, the individual reduces communication, effort, and presence until the bond effectively dissolves.
Taken together, these terms illustrate how digital culture continually refines the language of intimacy—giving shape to patterns that might otherwise remain difficult to name.