Server Included 3yr old in "party of 6"
Last week, 5 adults and a 3yr old ate at a Brazilian steakhouse. The 3yr old nibbled some cheese cubes and tomatoes off my plate. When the bill came, they'd added a 20% "gratuity" because we were a party of 6, even though they didn't charge for, or serve, the 3yr old. I'd normally tip 20% anyway (the service is always great and they work hard doing what they do) but I was pretty stunned at their audacity. You'd think charging $50 per diner would be enough to pay the servers a living wage without demanding "gratuity".
Jobadvisor
I hear you—that "wait, what?" moment when the bill hits the table can really sour a good meal. It’s a classic restaurant industry paradox: you love the service and intended to tip anyway, but being told you have to because a toddler ate two cherry tomatoes feels a bit like a shakedown.
Here is the breakdown of why this happens and why it feels so jarring.
The "Bum in a Seat" Policy
Most restaurants, especially high-volume spots like Brazilian steakhouses, define a "guest" as anyone who occupies a chair. From their operational perspective:
Space: That 3-year-old is taking up a seat that could have been occupied by a $50-paying adult.
Labor: The server still has to bring a high chair (or boost a seat), clean up the inevitable floor-crumbs, and navigate around the extra person.
The System: Most Point of Sale (POS) systems automatically trigger the "Large Party" gratuity the moment the server enters "6" into the guest count.
Why it feels "Audacious"
You’re touching on a massive debate in the dining world. The frustration usually stems from two things:
The "Living Wage" Issue: You’re right—at $50 a head, the math feels like there should be enough margin to pay staff well. However, the US service model still leans heavily on the customer to provide the bulk of the server's income via tips.
The Principle: It’s the lack of transparency. When a "free" guest suddenly becomes the catalyst for a mandatory fee, it feels less like a tip and more like a hidden tax.
A Quick Reality Check
While it feels cheeky, most places are pretty firm on this because if they started negotiating what constitutes a "person" (e.g., "He's 12 but he eats like a bird!" or "She's 80 and only had tea!"), the servers would spend half their shift arguing over the bill instead of serving meat.
HR joining performance review this week after I participated in legal investigation against boss. Am I being fired?
Hi, I’ve been working at my company for about three years. I work in a small NJ office for a global company headquartered in CA. We have both a global HR and a local HR.
A few weeks ago my boss was the subject of a legal investigation for harassment since a coworker reported it to global HR. Global HR hired an outside legal firm to investigate, and this firm is representing my company.
Since I witnessed the most recent harassment incident local HR asked me to meet with the lawyer as part of the investigation . Local HR and my boss know I met with the legal firm since HR told me to do so.
However, based on the questions the lawyer asked it became clear that global HR was also investigating local HR since local HR didn’t escalate or report previous incidents of harassment when they were reported to HR last summer.
The investigation concluded two weeks ago and we’ve been told we won’t hear of the outcome unless something drastic occurs (e.g my boss is terminated).
However, performance reviews are tomorrow. I noticed local HR was added to my review invite last minute this morning (Sunday), which historically means firing at this company. My past two reviews I was scored a “4 out of 5”, and I’ve never received a formal warning about my performance slipping other than one or two vague comments about a project “needing to be better.” However I know my boss doesn’t like me since I have defended the coworker he’s harassed in the past, and local HR has covered up for him
Do you think it’s likely they are going to fire me, or is HR there for another reason? I’m guessing I’m being terminated but I’m not sure.
Jobadvisor
This is an incredibly stressful situation, and your gut reaction—associating an unannounced HR presence with a firing—is a logical one based on your company’s history. However, given the legal investigation you just participated in, the context here is much more complex than a standard performance review.
While I can’t tell you for certain what will happen, here are the likely scenarios and what you need to know about your rights, especially in a state like New Jersey.
Scenario 1: The "Paper Trail" Protection (Most Likely)
Because you just participated in a legal investigation regarding harassment and HR’s failure to report it, you are now a "protected" individual. If they fire you shortly after you spoke to investigators, it looks like textbook retaliation.
Why HR is there: Global HR (or the legal team) may have mandated that Local HR attend to ensure your boss doesn't say or do anything retaliatory during the review.
The "Witness" Role: They might be there to act as a witness to ensure the meeting stays professional, specifically because they know your boss has a history of harassment and you just testified against him.
Scenario 2: The Setup
If your boss and Local HR are "in it together" as you suspect, they might be trying to build a case that your performance has slipped to justify a future termination.
Why HR is there: To make a lackluster review "official."
The Conflict: However, jumping from "4 out of 5" to "fired" with no Prior Improvement Plan (PIP) or formal warnings is a massive legal red flag for a company, especially in the wake of a harassment probe.
Scenario 3: The Termination
It is possible they intend to let you go. If they do, the timing is incredibly suspicious.
Retaliation: In New Jersey, the Law Against Discrimination (NJLAD) strictly prohibits retaliation against employees who participate in an investigation or oppose harassment.
How to Prepare (The "Survival" Checklist)
Gather Your Proof: Before the meeting, save/print your last two performance reviews ("4 out of 5") and any emails where you received praise or completed projects successfully. Do this now. If you are locked out of your system, you lose access to your evidence.
Take Detailed Notes: Bring a notebook. Write down exactly what is said. If they say your performance "slipped," ask for specific dates, data points, and why this wasn't brought to your attention sooner.
Stay Calm and Professional: If this is a setup, they may try to bait you into an emotional reaction to cite "unprofessionalism" or "insubordination." Don't give them that win.
The "Retaliation" Question: If the review is unfairly negative, you can calmly state: "I’m surprised by this feedback given my consistent '4' ratings. It feels related to my recent participation in the legal investigation. Is that the case?" (Watch their faces carefully when you say this).
Don't Sign Immediately: If they hand you a severance or a disciplinary write-up that you disagree with, you are generally not legally required to sign it on the spot. You can say, "I need time to process this and will get back to you."
A Note on NJ Law
New Jersey has some of the strongest employee protections in the country. If they terminate you tomorrow, your first call should be to an employment attorney. The fact that Local HR was being investigated for a "cover-up" makes their presence at your review highly sensitive for the company's Global legal team.
Need some help
Hello I need some help I am a supervisor in house keeping I had Tuesday off and I guess at the end of the day at work question was asked and it led to politics and this one coworker talk about how she was maga and a bunch of other stuff but let me prefence that I am black and I believe that any body should be allowed to have any believe in politics or religion or what ever who am I to judge I don't care if your maga or what ever but the things she said really made people uncomfortable two black coworkers won't come into the break room anymore when she is around and I have one white coworker who said she doesn't feel comfortable either. Now I must say that I guess everybody laughed at her political views and it set her off and now she just being really rude I can understand why she upset she allowed to have her believes but no body will tell me the whole thing of what she said I have talk to my boss she has done nothing and is just ignoring it but the tension is so thick u could cut it with a knife I got coworkers that feel threatened and uncomfortable and got this coworker who is mad and lashing out for people laughing I know that if it doesn't get fixed or a conversation not had that this is gonna blow up and I do not want that to happen we had a really good atmosphere on our shift and everyone got a long intell this moment what can I do or do I even do anything
Jobadvisor
This is a tough spot to be in as a supervisor. You’re currently stuck between a "boss who won't act" and a "team that’s about to blow up."
Even though you weren’t there, the impact is now your problem because it’s affecting the work environment. The key here is to move the focus away from "politics" (which is messy and personal) and toward "conduct and safety" (which is a supervisor's job).
Here is a step-by-step plan to handle this before it escalates.
1. Shift the Focus to "Professional Conduct"
You don’t need to judge her for being MAGA or for her religious beliefs. You do need to address her "lashing out" and the fact that people feel "threatened." * The Rule: Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but no one is entitled to create a hostile environment where coworkers are afraid to enter the breakroom.
Your Stance: "I don't care who you voted for, but I do care that my team feels safe eating their lunch."
2. The "Fact-Finding" Individual Meetings
Since nobody will tell you exactly what was said, you need to have private, 1-on-1 "check-ins" with the key players.
What to say to the uncomfortable coworkers:
"I’ve noticed the atmosphere has changed and people are avoiding the breakroom. I need to understand exactly what was said or done that made you feel threatened. I’m not here to police anyone’s politics, but I am here to ensure this is a respectful workplace."
What to say to the "Maga" coworker:
"I heard things got heated on Tuesday while I was off. I understand you felt disrespected because people laughed at your views, and that's not okay. However, I’m getting reports that the way you’re reacting now is making people feel threatened. We need to get back to a professional baseline."
3. Hold a "Reset" Huddle
Once you have the facts, hold a brief team meeting. Don't let it become a debate. Set the new ground rules:
No Politics at Work: "Moving forward, we are banning political discussions on the clock and in the breakroom. It has caused a divide that is affecting our work."
Respect is Mandatory: "We don't have to agree, but we do have to be professional. Lashing out, being rude, or making people feel unwelcome in common areas stops today."
The Consequence: "If there are further outbursts or if people are being targeted, I will have to escalate this to formal disciplinary action."
4. Backstop Yourself with HR/Management
Since your boss is ignoring this, you need a "paper trail" to protect yourself (especially given your other situation with HR).
Send a brief email to your boss:
"Regarding the tension on the Housekeeping shift: Several employees have reported feeling 'threatened' and are avoiding the breakroom due to the incident on Tuesday. I am coaching the team on professional conduct and implementing a 'no politics' rule in the workplace to de-escalate. I wanted to keep you informed in case this requires further HR intervention."
Why this matters for YOU
As a Black supervisor, you are in a sensitive position. By staying "neutral" on the politics but "firm" on the behavior, you protect yourself from accusations of bias while still protecting your Black coworkers who feel targeted.