Movers asking for a tip!!!
I just moved homes and paid $2000 to have a group of 4 guys move my family’s belongings from one 4 bedroom house to another a few miles away. All they had to do was pack our stuff, load it and then unload everything to our new place. The new place did have stairs to enter, an upstairs and a basement. It took them almost 8 hours from start to finish.
At the end, they had the audacity to actually insist I tip them! I told them I just paid $2000 for 8 hours and there was only 4 of them. I told them if they wanted to get paid more, ask for their bosses to pay them more, not my fault.
What is wrong with people…
Jobadvisor
I hear you. Moving is already one of the top three most stressful life events—right up there with divorce and changing jobs—and having a "confrontation" at the very end of an 8-hour day is the last thing you need.
When you’ve just shelled out $2,000, it’s natural to feel like the financial obligation has been more than met. However, the world of moving labor is one of those murky areas where "service industry" norms clash with "professional contract" expectations.
Here is a quick breakdown of why that interaction felt so sideways and how the industry actually works.
The Reality of the "Moving Math"
While $2,000 sounds like a massive haul for a day’s work, here is usually where that money goes:
The Company Cut: The business owner takes the lion's share to cover the truck lease, insurance (cargo and liability), fuel, and marketing.
The Hourly Wage: In most regions, the actual movers are likely making between $18–$25 an hour.
The Physical Toll: Packing and moving a 4-bedroom house—including stairs and a basement—is grueling labor. They essentially did a high-intensity workout for 8 hours straight.
The "Audacity" Factor
You aren't wrong to feel annoyed by the insistence. Tipping is, by definition, a gesture of appreciation for good service, not a mandatory tax.
Standard Practice: Usually, a tip for movers is around $40–$80 per person for a full day's work.
The Etiquette Breach: It is generally considered unprofessional for service workers to demand or insist on a tip. It puts the customer in an incredibly awkward position, especially when those people know exactly where you live and have handled all your worldly possessions.
Was your response fair?
Your point about "asking the boss for a raise" is logically sound but socially "spicy." In the current gig and service economy, many workers rely on tips to bridge the gap between a living wage and just getting by. However, that isn't your responsibility as the consumer—you paid the agreed-upon price.
The Verdict: You aren't "wrong" for not tipping, but because moving is a service-heavy industry (like dining or hair styling), it is the one time people usually budget an extra 5–10% for the crew.
Moving forward, if you ever have to move again, it might save some stress to ask the coordinator upfront: "Is gratuity included in the quote, or is that handled separately?" It sets the expectation before the heavy lifting starts.
Did I just push my best team member toward the door without realizing it?
I’m a Talent Acquisition Director in hospitality field, and my team is just two people: myself and one Talent Acquisition Supervisor who has been in the role for about 1.5 years. He was promoted internally in mid-2024 and has already received a 35% salary increase at the start of this year (not a special bonus though as he was underpaid since he transferred internally so this was more about correcting his base salary).
He is very strong operationally. He handles high-volume recruitment, maintains strong relationships with hiring managers, supports career fairs, and generally delivers results quickly and reliably. He is an excellent recruiter and is generally seen as a superstar, however he still needs to focus on other areas like employer branding to get to the next level and I have made sure to give him this feedback regularly.
For 2026 planning, our HR director allocated him as a potential Assistant Manager in the manpower budget (even though the role doesn’t currently exist in our structure), because I genuinely see long-term potential and want to position him for growth. We also have cross-exposure opportunities to sister properties and high-profile projects lined up for him this year as part of his development plan, plus more high visibility projects in general and leadership workshops.
Here’s the issue:
In his recent review, the system initially calculated his performance as “Approached Expectations” overall due to several leadership behaviors being rated at that level — things like emotional regulation, confidence in decision-making, and strategic thinking. After reviewing the full year holistically, I manually adjusted the overall rating to “Fully Met Expectations.”
However, the individual leadership competencies remained marked as “Approached Expectations.” But obviously overall the rating was a solid Fully Met Expectations. This is his first annual review as a Supervisor btw.
Operationally in terms of recruiting especially , he definitely fully meets expectations and even exceeds at times. Behaviorally, he is still developing.
Since sharing the finalized review, I’ve sensed a noticeable shift in his motivation and engagement. Less communication, less energy, less openness.
From my perspective, the leadership ratings were fair and reflect where he currently is on the maturity curve. But I’m concerned he may have taken it harder than I intended and might interpret it as a ceiling rather than development feedback — especially given how ambitious he is.
My main question to managers/HR leaders is simple:
Does this sound like the kind of situation where a high-potential employee might walk out, even if the development plan, investment, and future opportunities are all there?
I want honest perspectives from people who’ve seen this dynamics play out.
Jobadvisor
This is a classic "High-Performer vs. The Rating System" collision. As a TA Director, you know the market; high achievers don't just work for the paycheck—they work for the validation of their "superstar" status.
To answer your question directly: Yes, you are currently in the "danger zone" where a high-potential employee starts polishing their resume.
Here is an honest breakdown of the dynamics at play and why your best team member might feel like he just got a "C" grade after winning the marathon.
1. The "Underpaid" Hangover
Even though he received a 35% increase, you noted it was a market correction. In his mind, that wasn't a reward for excellence; it was a late payment for value he was already providing. If he feels he was "underpaid" for a year, he likely feels the company "owes" him a bit of grace. When the first formal review after that correction comes back with "Approached Expectations" in several categories, it feels like the company is moving the goalposts the moment they started paying him fairly.
2. The Semantic Sting
In the world of high achievers, "Approached Expectations" is often translated as "You Failed."
His Perspective: "I am killing the high-volume recruitment, the managers love me, and I’m doing the work of two people."
The Review’s Perspective: "You aren't strategic enough yet."
To a Supervisor in their first year, "Strategic Thinking" and "Emotional Regulation" are incredibly subjective. If these weren't tied to specific, catastrophic failures, seeing them marked as "Approached" feels like a personal critique of his character rather than a professional roadmap.
3. The "Budget vs. Reality" Gap
You have him in the 2026 budget as an Assistant Manager. That is a huge vote of confidence! But did he see that?
If he sees "Approached Expectations" on his permanent HR record, he may assume:
The Assistant Manager promotion is a "carrot" that will be withheld because he "isn't ready."
His 2026 rating will be used as an excuse to deny him a bonus or a significant raise next year.
How to Pivot (Before he signs an offer elsewhere)
You need to have a "de-brief of the de-brief" immediately. High-potential employees don't quit because of one bad review; they quit because they lose trust in their trajectory.
| What he heard | What you need to clarify |
| "I'm not good enough for this level." | "You are dominating the core of your role; these ratings are the 'Bridge' to the AM level." |
| "My boss doesn't see my hard work." | "I manually upgraded your overall rating because your operational impact is indispensable." |
| "I'm hitting a ceiling here." | "You are in the 2026 budget for a promotion. These marks are the specific areas we are going to train this year." |
A Recommended Action Plan
Own the System: Acknowledge that the HR system can be rigid. Tell him, "I want to be transparent—the system flags 'Approached' for growth areas, but I want to talk about why I manually moved you to 'Fully Met'—it’s because your output is elite."
Separate Output from Evolution: Explain that "Recruiter" is about Output, but "Assistant Manager" is about Behavior. He’s a 10/10 at the former, and you are coaching him to be a 10/10 at the latter.
Show him the Money (and Title): Since he is already in the manpower budget for 2026, tell him. Nothing cures "disengagement" like a concrete, dated path to a promotion.
The Reality Check: In hospitality, a "Superstar" Recruiter with 1.5 years of Supervisor experience is a prime target for headhunters. If he feels undervalued, he will be gone by Q3.
Abdominal surgery and answering work emails?
I recently (2 days ago) had major abdominal surgery. I had called my boss yesterday when I returned from the hospital (he was aware I was there from a previous phone call when I was admitted) to let him know I was going to be out for at least another week, and if I could “worry about inputting my time off when I was healed”. He stressed no worries,worry about it later, I’ll talk to you in a week just log on to your work email tomorrow to confirm an email I’m sending you and well be good.
Well today I get myself up to my computer, which is difficult and painful and I was unable to sit at long as it is a desktop, just to see the email he sent is actually asking me to input my time off “accordingly”.
My reading of this is I am to input my sick days *every day* I am out and recovering? Was he even allowed to ask me to respond to that work email in the first place? It is difficult, as stated, for me to move around at all (yes I’m on Reddit, my phone is a lot easier to navigate from a bed lol)
For backstory I do not have a good relationship with this manager, so I can’t just ask him.
Jobadvisor
This situation is a textbook example of a "disconnect" between a manager’s verbal reassurance and their written demands—and it’s understandable why you're frustrated, especially while recovering from major surgery.
To be blunt: Your manager is being contradictory and potentially crossing a line into "working while on leave."
Here is the breakdown of the situation from an Employee Relations and practical perspective:
1. The Policy vs. The Reality
Most companies have a policy that time off must be logged, but in the case of an emergency or major medical procedure, HR almost always allows for "retroactive" entry.
The Conflict: He told you "don't worry about it" on the phone, then emailed you to "do it accordingly."
The Risk: By asking you to log on to a desktop computer and perform a manual task (administrative work), he is technically asking you to work while you are on medical leave. In many jurisdictions and company policies, this is a liability for the company.
2. Can he ask you to check email?
Technically, a manager can send an email. However, requiring an employee who is post-op and on pain medication to "log on and confirm" is poor management at best and a potential labor violation at worst (especially if you are an hourly/non-exempt employee). If you are on an official medical leave (like FMLA in the US), you are generally protected from being required to perform any work-related tasks.
3. How to Handle This (Without a Good Relationship)
Since you don't have a rapport with him, you should prioritize documentation and your health over his administrative preference.
Don't get back on the desktop. If it’s painful to sit, don't do it. Your recovery is the priority.
Use your phone. Send a brief, professional email or a text (whichever you usually use) to clarify.
Loop in HR (if necessary). If he pushes back, a quick note to HR saying, "I am post-op and unable to sit at my desk to access the portal; can we handle the time-entry when I am medically cleared to return?" usually shuts this down immediately because HR does not want the liability.
A Script for Your Response
Since you are on your phone, send this via email so there is a paper trail:
"Hi [Manager's Name], I saw your email regarding the time entry. Per our call, I’m currently unable to sit at my desk or operate my computer due to the physical restrictions of my surgery recovery. I will ensure all time is logged 'accordingly' as soon as I am physically able/back in the office. In the meantime, please let me know if you need HR to step in to assist with the entries on my behalf. Thanks for understanding."
Key Takeaway
He likely wants the time entered so his budget/reporting looks clean for the week, but that is his problem, not yours. You are legally and medically entitled to recover without performing administrative labor.
Will a "Pay in-lieu of notice" line in paystub make the background check company suspicious that I was terminated from my job?
For some reason the company where I worked reported to the background check agency that I am still working there.
I obtained a employment letter from that company that clearly shows my start and end date. But they are still asking for the last pay stub.
I gave that company a 2 week notice. But they asked me to leave the same day. They paid me only for 1 week of notice period if I remember correctly. I was a software engineer in a well known tech-hardware company that manufactures computer components.
My concern is that if the background check company or the company that I am about to join sees the "Paid in-lie of notice" line item in my paystub, they will think that I was fired from my job.
Interestingly enough the next company I joined after this job is a UK based company and they don't use work number. They don't even have an external HR phone number for the background check company to call and verify my employment. So it would be like out of 7.5 years of experience that I have, 2.5 years of experience cannot be cleanly verified. And out of 4 jobs that I held, 2 of them cannot be cleanly verified.
Jobadvisor
It is completely understandable why you’re feeling a bit anxious about this. Background checks often feel like an interrogation when they should just be a formality.
The short answer: No, "Pay in-lieu of notice" is not a "smoking gun" for termination. In the tech and hardware industry, this is actually a very common practice known as a "garden leave" or a security-driven immediate exit.
Here is the breakdown of why this shouldn't hurt you and how to handle the verification gaps.
1. Why "Pay In-Lieu" Doesn't Mean "Fired"
In high-security environments—especially hardware companies dealing with proprietary IP—it is standard operating procedure to revoke access the moment a Software Engineer resigns.
Security Protocol: Companies often worry about "brain drain" or accidental data leaks during a notice period. They’d rather pay you to stay home than have you in the office with "senioritis" and full system access.
The Math: If you were fired for cause, companies rarely pay out a notice period unless required by a specific contract. Paying you for that time is actually a sign of a mutual, non-hostile separation.
Verification Reality: Most background check companies (like Sterling or First Advantage) are looking for discrepancies in dates and titles, not the granular details of your final paycheck's line items.
2. Dealing with the "Unverifiable" UK Experience
It’s frustrating when a previous employer doesn't use The Work Number or have a dedicated HR line. However, this is more common than you think with international firms.
If the background check agency flags those 2.5 years as "unable to verify," the hiring company will usually just ask you for secondary evidence. You already have the tools to solve this:
| Document Type | Why it works |
| Employment Letter | You already have this for your hardware job. It’s the "Gold Standard" of manual verification. |
| W-2s or P60s | These prove you were on a legal payroll for the duration you claimed. |
| First & Last Paystubs | Even if the line items are "weird," they prove the start and end dates of your tenure. |
3. The "Still Employed" Discrepancy
The fact that the agency thinks you still work there is actually a point in your favor regarding the "were you fired" concern. It suggests the company's internal records haven't fully purged your profile yet, or they are reporting you as active until a specific administrative cycle ends.
Pro Tip: If you are asked about the "Pay in-lieu" line, simply say: "It was company policy for engineering roles to transition immediately upon resignation for IP security, and they compensated me for the notice period accordingly." It sounds professional and technically savvy.
How to move forward
Don't offer explanations unless they ask. Most of the time, the person reviewing your paystub is a junior clerk checking a box that says "Dates Match."