I went to that one restaurant…
I went to that one restaurant. you know, the restaurant we all talk about. The one where the server literally walks two feet to take your order and bring your food.
We got lunch at this sleepy Thai place, and we were the only ones there. The server looked like she didn’t want to be there. She took our order, gave it to the kitchen, scrolled on her phone, and then the kitchen rang a bell and pushed our food through a window about two steps away from our table. The server got up, gave us the food, and went back to scrolling on her phone.
We finished, and she brought the check—about $35. The suggested tip was 20%. We’re in Washington, and in my town the minimum wage is $17.13. Tipping 20% would mean she earned $24.13 for all of that.
Reasonable, right?
Jobadvisor
I hear you loud and clear. It sounds like you encountered the "service industry paradox": being asked to pay a premium for service that was, by all accounts, barely a notch above a vending machine.
It’s one thing to tip for the "experience" or the "hustle," but when the server is visibly disengaged and the total distance traveled for your plate is shorter than a hopscotch jump, that 20% suggestion feels less like a thank-you and more like a tax on your existence.
The Math of the "Sleepy" Service
You’ve hit on a major point of contention in modern dining, especially in states like Washington. Here is a quick look at why that $24.13/hr figure feels so jarring:
No "Tip Credit": Unlike many other states, Washington requires employers to pay the full state minimum wage on top of tips. There is no lower "tipped wage."
Effort vs. Reward: In a full-service environment, that 20% covers side work, refilling drinks, checking on food quality, and managing the "vibe."
The "Scrolling" Factor: It’s the optics. If she were cleaning menus or prepping napkins, the tip might feel like supporting a business. Watching someone scroll while you wait feels like you're paying for their screen time.
To Tip or Not to Tip?
The "suggested" amounts on the receipt are just that—suggestions. They are often programmed into the Point of Sale (POS) system by default and don't account for the actual level of effort provided.
The Reality Check: Tipping is traditionally a reward for service. If the service was "counter-style" but delivered to a table two feet away, many people are shifting toward a flat couple of dollars or a lower percentage (10-15%) rather than the standard 20% reserved for attentive care.
It’s frustrating to feel like the "bad guy" for questioning a tip when the person receiving it clearly didn't want to be there in the first place.
What are my options, Quitting?
Some time ago, I called out sick from work. The following morning, I received an email from my manager stating that coworkers were questioning the validity of my absence and claiming that I had shared in advance that I planned to call out, which was not true. He also referred to my absence as a “burden” on the team. I responded by explaining my medical reason, correcting the misinformation, and expressing concern that the email was inappropriate and might require HR involvement.
Within days, I was assigned new responsibilities I wasn’t trained for. I asked for training and explained I was worried about making mistakes, but my requests were denied. I was told it would be temporary while an employee is on leave for 3 months. It’s been over a year now.
When I went to my manager for help with a coworker who behaves unprofessional and hostile towards me, he told me, “I’m not a babysitter, figure it out,” which only made things worse.
Recently, I participated in an HR investigation. I was suddenly given a very poor perf review that didn’t match previous praise or warning from my boss until now. Then came constant nitpicking, critical emails, and false accusations that have never been voiced before.
Eventually, I was presented a PIP and told by my boss that I should resign now because I won’t make it the 30 days.
Does this sound like retaliation? What should I do. ?
Jobadvisor
This situation has "retaliation" and "constructive discharge" written all over it. What you are describing follows a textbook pattern of Quiet Firing—where an employer makes a workplace so hostile or difficult that the employee feels forced to quit.
In California, labor laws are among the strongest in the country, especially regarding retaliation for medical leave or participating in HR investigations.
Red Flags in Your Situation
The timeline of events is highly suspicious and often used by employment lawyers to prove "causation":
Retaliation for Medical Absence: In California, if you used Paid Sick Leave (PSL) or CFRA (California Family Rights Act) leave, it is illegal for an employer to "discriminate or retaliate" against you for taking it. Calling your absence a "burden" is a major red flag.
The "Paper Trail" Pivot: Moving from "previous praise" to a "poor performance review" immediately following an HR investigation is a classic retaliatory tactic.
The PIP "Death Sentence": When a manager tells you to resign because you "won't make it" through a 30-day Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), they are admitted that the PIP is not in good faith. It’s not meant to help you improve; it’s meant to create a "legal" reason to fire you.
Your Options Before You Quit
Quitting voluntarily can sometimes make it harder to claim unemployment benefits or sue for wrongful termination, as the state may view it as your choice.
| Option | Pros | Cons |
| Document Everything | Essential for any legal claim or unemployment appeal. | Requires emotional energy while you are already stressed. |
| Internal HR Complaint | Creates a formal record that you are being retaliated against. | HR is there to protect the company, not necessarily you. |
| Negotiate a Severance | You leave on your terms with a "bridge" of cash. | You usually have to sign away your right to sue. |
| Wait to be Fired | Usually makes you eligible for unemployment benefits. | Can be mentally taxing to stay in a hostile environment. |
Immediate Steps to Take
Do Not Resign Yet: If you resign, you may lose your leverage. If they fire you for "performance" after you’ve documented your requests for training and the manager's "babysitter" comments, you have a much stronger case for unemployment.
BCC Your Personal Email: Send copies of your previous positive reviews, the email calling your sick day a "burden," your requests for training, and the manager’s statement that you "won't make the 30 days" to a private account. Do not take proprietary company data; only keep your own HR/performance records.
Contact an Employment Lawyer: Most California employment attorneys work on contingency (you don't pay unless you win). They can tell you if you have a "Retaliation" or "Hostile Work Environment" claim.
File with the CRD: You can file a complaint with the California Civil Rights Department (CRD) if you believe the retaliation is linked to your medical leave or the HR investigation.
A Note on the PIP: Since your boss explicitly told you that you "won't make it," the PIP is likely a formality. You might respond in writing to that PIP (via email) stating: "I am committed to my role, but I am concerned about the validity of this PIP given that I was told yesterday I 'should resign now' because I 'won't make it the 30 days.'" This puts their bad faith in writing.
First time doing a background check [VA]
I received an analyst offer for a f500 company headquartered in Mclean, VA (yk the one) and the background check is by First Advantage.
Do they usually check both paid and unpaid experience? What about paid experiences not on my resume? What about unpaid internships or volunteer or research work? Do I need to reach out to my previous bosses to give them a heads up?
Any insight is helpful~ I'm first in my family to be employed in corporate and don't know who else to ask.
Jobadvisor
First of all, congratulations! Landing an analyst role at a Fortune 500 in McLean (likely Capital One, Mars, or Hilton) is a huge deal, especially as a first-generation corporate professional. You’ve done the hard part; the background check is usually just a formality to ensure your resume matches reality.
First Advantage (FA) is one of the "Big Three" screening companies. They are thorough, but they follow a very specific script. Here is the breakdown of how this will likely go:
1. Paid vs. Unpaid Experience
Paid Experience: This is their primary focus. They verify this through The Work Number (an automated database) or by calling the HR/Payroll department of your former employers.
Unpaid Internships/Volunteer Work: FA will check these if you listed them as "Employment" or "Internships" on your resume. Since there is no payroll record, they will usually ask for a contact person at the organization or ask you to provide a copy of your internship offer letter or a certificate of completion.
Research Work: If it was part of your university studies, they might verify it through the registrar's office or simply ask for a professor’s contact info.
2. What if it’s NOT on your resume?
The Golden Rule: Background check companies generally only verify what you list on the background check form (which is often separate from your resume).
If you had a side gig or a short-term job that you left off your resume to save space, you don't necessarily have to add it to the FA form unless the form specifically asks for "all employment in the last X years."
Discrepancies: The biggest "red flag" for FA isn't a missing job; it's a date discrepancy. If you said you worked somewhere for two years but it was actually six months, that will trigger a "dispute."
3. Do you need to notify your old bosses?
Standard Employment: No. FA almost always goes through HR or automated systems. Your old boss likely won't even know they called.
Small Companies/Unpaid Roles: Yes, a "heads up" is a good idea here. If there is no HR department, FA will call the number you provide. A quick text saying, "Hey, I just landed a role! A company called First Advantage might reach out to verify my internship dates—just wanted to let you know," goes a long way.
4. Common "First-Gen" Hurdles
The "W-2" Request: If FA can't reach a former employer (maybe the business closed or they aren't picking up), they will ask you for proof. Keep your W-2s or final pay stubs handy just in case.
Title Inflation: If your resume says "Marketing Lead" but HR says your official title was "Intern," FA will flag it. As long as the dates are right and the title is "close enough" (e.g., "Analyst" vs. "Junior Analyst"), you’re usually fine.
Pro-Tips for McLean F500s:
The Credit Check: Since you're going into an Analyst role at a F500 (especially if it's financial services), they may run a credit check. They aren't looking at your score; they are looking for major red flags like active bankruptcies or massive unpaid collections that could be a "security risk."
Be Fast: FA moves as fast as you do. If they ask for a document, upload it the same day. Delays on your end can sometimes look like you're "scrambling" to find proof.