Having to fake interest at work is killing me

I'm one of those fellas that gets to work, does what needs to be done, and at 6PM I'm off the computer. I don't care about work, I don't talk about work unless prompted, and of course I'm 100% in favour of reducing work hours to 5-6 hours per day MAX.

But lately work became this being that not only wants your attention from 9AM to 6PM, now you have to care. I get asked "How are you enjoying time at the company?" and my first answer usually is "Coffee is cool" but NO, you must have an opinion, you have to like something about work, you have to put interest in your work, you have to have a career, you have to progress, you have to want to progress, and remember to use AI... BUT BE CAREFUL if you use AI too much we will either give you more work to do, or we will fire you because you made yourself redundant.

I work for something that's at the pinnacle of uselessness in the world. Think about the most useless thing that a company can profit for, without adding real value to the world, that's the company I work for.

At this company everyone treats their job like it's important. They care, or at least they pretend to care so much better than me, they want to improve things, they want to save money (who knows what for, clearly the savings aren't coming to our wages), they come with ideas to improve things, but they feel like ideas that they care about, and I can't help thinking: "DUDE, we are selling shit to people that don't need it. We are not curing cancer, we are not solving world hunger and our CEO didn't come to the mandatory meeting because he is out there racing with his boat! WTAF????"

They ask me to do things, to innovate things, and to do shit that the world doesn't need, and they also want me to care??? It's one or the other. If you want me to care you need to start doing something worth caring about.

I don't know if this is about approaching 40 (my mother seems to think that it is) but I never had a job that actually did something good for the world, and I think that sucks. Yes, you can be a nice person (and I try to be) and treat others with respect (except, you know, far-right advocates and the like), but thinking about this makes me want to cry.

Rant over. Thanks for reading.

Jobadvisor

That is a heavy weight to carry, and honestly, your mother might be half-right—but not because you’re "getting old." Approaching 40 often brings a "clarity tax." You stop being distracted by the novelty of a paycheck and start seeing the finite nature of your time.

It sounds like you’re suffering from moral injury—the psychological distress that comes from acting in ways that blinker your own values. It’s exhausting to play a character for 40 hours a week, especially when that character is "Corporate Enthusiast #4" in a play about selling useless widgets.

Here is the reality of the situation, stripped of the HR-approved paint:

1. The "Performance" of Productivity

You’ve touched on a modern corporate paradox: companies no longer just want your labor; they want your emotional surrender.

• The Problem: In "useless" industries, enthusiasm is used as a proxy for value. If the product doesn't provide meaning, the culture must provide the illusion of it.

• The Result: You feel like a fraud because you’re the only one pointing out the Emperor has no clothes—while everyone else is complimenting the quality of the silk.

2. The AI Trap

Your assessment of AI is spot-on and cynical in the healthiest way. It’s the "Efficiency Paradox." In many corporate structures, being 20% more efficient doesn't get you 20% more rest; it gets you 20% more "useless shit" to manage.

3. Radical Acceptance vs. Radical Change

Since you’ve reached the point where you want to cry, you’re likely past the "just grit your teeth" stage. You have two realistic paths:

• The "Mercenary" Pivot: You stop looking for meaning at work entirely. You view the job as a cold, hard transaction that funds your real life. You do the "Minimum Viable Enthusiasm"—just enough to keep them off your back—and pour your soul into a hobby, a cause, or a community outside those walls.

• The "Mission" Pivot: You start looking for a "boring but essential" job. You don't need to save the world, but maybe you’d feel better working for a company that maintains power grids, fixes plumbing, or manages logistics for hospitals. There is a specific kind of peace in working for a company where, if you stopped doing your job, something tangible would actually break.

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A Small Reality Check

You aren't failing at your career; you’re failing at a game that is rigged to make you feel like your soul is a commodity. That "WTAF" feeling you have during meetings? That’s your integrity trying to wake you up.

Important Note: If this feeling of "wanting to cry" persists or starts bleeding into your life after 6 PM, please keep an eye on it. Burnout often starts as cynicism and ends as clinical depression.