Did I ruin my life?
I’m about to turn 28 and I work in retail. I graduated law school in 2024, but I knew I didn’t want to practice. I really hated the experience and only went to law school because my dad wanted me to. To this day I regret going. I’m trying to let it go because there is no sense in holding resentment for my choices in the past. But I really do think that if I did what I wanted to do back then things would be different.
After graduating I wanted to find work in compliance or contract management. I applied and applied and just couldn’t land anything. I went a year without work and finally took a job in retail that I desperately want to get out off. It doesn’t pay enough to cover all my bills and that is the root cause of most of my stress. I feel like I should have sucked it up and practiced law but I know that would have also made me just as miserable.
I just don’t really know what to do anymore. I am constantly applying to corporate positions in my free time but nothing has worked out. I also try to be very intentional with my applications as well as use my connections, but still I am coming up short.
I feel like such a failure. Like genuinely a huge massive failure. How can I be 28 and have nothing to show for it? I really am starting to feel like my life is over. I know I shouldn’t measure my worth by how much success I have had in my career, but I mean what kind of a career is this?
I just don’t know where to go from here. I do believe in myself a lot and know that I would do a good job in some of the positions I’ve been applying to, but no one will give me a chance to prove that. It’s really depressing to think that at this stage in my life this my reality.
I don’t know, I’m just feeling really lost and meaningless…
Jobadvisor
First, let’s take a breath and clear the air: No, you have not ruined your life. At 28, it feels like the concrete is setting on your future, but in reality, you’re still in the "rough draft" phase of your career. You are currently dealing with a classic post-grad bottleneck, exacerbated by the fact that you’re trying to pivot away from the very thing your degree says you should do. That isn’t failure; it’s a transition.
Here is a grounded perspective on where you are and how to move the needle.
1. Radical Self-Forgiveness
You’re carrying a heavy backpack full of "should-haves."
The Law School Regret: You did it for your dad. That’s a mistake many people make in their early 20s. But you did finish. Having a J.D. is a massive signal of intellectual stamina, even if you never step into a courtroom.
The "Suck it Up" Myth: If you had practiced law while hating it, you wouldn’t be "successful"—you’d likely be burnt out, depressed, and then trying to pivot at 35. You are actually saving yourself time by being honest now.
2. Re-Framing the "Retail Gap"
The most stressful part of your situation is the financial gap. Working retail with a law degree can feel ego-bruising, but it’s a survival bridge, not a destination.
Employers in compliance and contracts don't look at retail as "failure"; they look at the gap between your 2024 graduation and now. We need to fill that gap with "Law-Adjacent" activities to show you haven't gone stagnant.
3. The Pivot Strategy
If the "intentional applications" aren't hitting, the strategy needs a tweak. Compliance and Contract Management are competitive because they are often filled by people with 3–5 years of specific experience or former paralegals.
| Current Approach | Proposed Pivot |
| Applying to Mid-Level Compliance | Apply for "Contracts Administrator" or "Junior Procurement" roles. These are the entry points for the J.D. crowd who doesn't want to litigate. |
| Standard Resume | The "Functional" Resume. Highlight the skills (Risk Assessment, Regulatory Research, Drafting) rather than the job titles. |
| Waiting for "The Call" | Get a Certification. Look into the CPCM (Certified Professional Contracts Manager) or a CIPP (Privacy Professional) cert. It proves you're serious about the new path. |
4. Immediate Practical Steps
Since your bills are the primary source of stress, we need to increase your "per hour" value quickly while you hunt for the "forever" career.
Document Review: Have you looked into remote "Doc Review" projects? They aren't glamorous, and they aren't "practicing law" in the traditional sense, but they pay significantly more than retail and keep your resume in the legal/corporate sphere.
Temp Agencies: Reach out to specialized recruiters (like Robert Half or Aston Carter). They often have "Contract-to-Hire" roles in compliance that never hit the public job boards.
The "J.D. Advantage" Filter: When searching, use the keyword "J.D. Advantage." These are jobs where the degree is a plus, but a law license isn't required (e.g., Trust Officer, HR Investigator, Regulatory Analyst).
A Reality Check: > You are 28 with a Doctorate-level degree. You have 40 years of career ahead of you. This year is a footnote, not the whole book. You aren't "meaningless"; you're just currently undervalued by the market.
My manger wrote me up for reporting wrongful handicap parking after they told me not to.
I will try to keep this simple but provide details if asked. So, I work at a hotel that is part of a large company with private owners. And last night, as I was working, I saw that there were 2 people without handicap plates or placards in 2 of our handicap spots. So I texted my manger telling her they were wrongfully parked they and asked if I should report it. She told me to “Just Leave It.” But after a third vehicle without handicap plates started to park in another handicap spot, I admittedly got frustrated and I called my city’s police department non emergency line and reported the situation. The police came and asked for the guests information and I gave them the names and I said they might be at the bar. He went to the bar to ask. My manager, who was hanging out at the bar along with the offenders, came up to the front desk and asked me if I had reported it. I nodded. It should be noted I am awful and confrontation. Anyways, she told me that that was crazy and that she and my boss would “talk to me tomorrow” when I came in. She also told me to come in 30 mins early so that we could talk. So today I came in early, we sat in her office where she asked why I went behind her back to report it. I told her I was following the law. She told me that “but you are not the law, and people park there all the time.” So she gave me my first written warning, I signed it and asked for a copy. She has yet to respond to that question. So, am I in the wrong for reporting behind my managers back. And what are my next steps to deal with this.
(EDIT) The guest weren’t fined or ticketed. They were just told to move. Which is exactly the outcome I wanted. I admit I’m not very law savvy, and my source is google, so I don’t know everything. Which is exactly why I’m asking. Also I should note that my manager and I have gotten along fine until now. And she tells me I’m a good worker. I didn’t do this to spite her. I did it to free up the spots. That’s it. I understand I could’ve gone about this way better but hey the past is the past.
Jobadvisor
You’re asking two separate questions:
Did you do anything illegal or “wrong”?
Can your employer discipline you for this in Arizona?
I’ll address both directly.
1. Were you legally wrong to report the vehicles?
No.
Under Arizona Revised Statutes § 28-884, parking in a designated accessible space without a valid plate or placard is unlawful. Reporting suspected violations to law enforcement via a non-emergency line is legal. You did not impersonate an officer, issue citations, or act outside the law. You reported a potential violation. That’s permitted.
The fact that the police responded and only required the vehicles to move confirms this was treated as a legitimate complaint.
So from a criminal or civil liability standpoint, you did nothing improper.
2. Can your employer write you up for this?
This is the more important issue.
Arizona is an at-will employment state under Arizona Employment Protection Act. That means your employer can discipline or terminate you for almost any reason unless:
It violates anti-discrimination law
It violates a contract
It qualifies as unlawful retaliation under a statute
You were written up for “going behind” your manager after being told not to report it.
That is generally permissible in an at-will employment context unless your action qualifies as protected activity.
3. Does reporting handicap parking violations qualify as protected activity?
Possibly—but not strongly.
Arizona does have a whistleblower protection statute: Arizona Revised Statutes § 23-1501.
It protects employees from retaliation if they:
Disclose a violation of Arizona law to either:
A supervisor, or
A public body (like police)
You did both:
You notified your manager.
You notified law enforcement.
That fits the statutory language more closely than many people realize.
However, here’s the complication:
Your employer could argue:
You were insubordinate.
You escalated externally after being given a direct instruction.
Parking enforcement is not part of your job duties.
You created guest conflict risk.
Even if you were legally justified, that does not automatically make discipline illegal. It becomes fact-specific.
If they were to terminate you, the whistleblower statute becomes more relevant. A single written warning is harder to challenge unless it leads to termination.
4. Were you “wrong” professionally?
From an employment strategy standpoint:
You:
Raised the issue internally ✔
Were told to leave it
Overrode management authority
In hospitality, guest management is typically handled by management to avoid customer relations problems. Your manager likely saw this as undermining her authority rather than as a legal issue.
That does not make you immoral or malicious — just misaligned with management protocol.
5. Immediate Next Steps (Practical Strategy)
A. Document everything
Keep:
The write-up
Text messages
Dates and times
What was said in the meeting
Write a neutral summary while it’s fresh in your memory.
B. Request your copy in writing
Send a simple message:
“Hi, just following up on my request for a copy of the written warning from our meeting on [date]. Please let me know when I can receive it. Thank you.”
Keep it factual and calm.
C. Do NOT escalate emotionally
Right now, you want to:
Avoid additional write-ups
Avoid being framed as insubordinate
Protect your employment record
D. If this escalates to termination
If they fire you and cite this incident, then consult an Arizona employment attorney and reference the whistleblower protections under ARS § 23-1501.
At that point, your fact pattern becomes more meaningful legally.
6. Risk Assessment
Here’s the realistic breakdown:
You did not break the law.
Your employer likely can issue a write-up.
If this becomes retaliation or termination, you may have statutory protection.
A single write-up alone is usually not worth litigation.
7. Strategic Advice Moving Forward
If accessible parking enforcement happens again:
Instead of calling police directly, say:
“Just documenting that there are vehicles parked in accessible spaces without placards as of [time]. I’ll defer to management on how to handle it.”
That protects you without escalating externally.
Bottom Line
You were not legally wrong.
Whether you were tactically wise is a separate question.
Right now, the safest path is:
Document everything.
Keep communication professional.
Avoid further conflict.
Monitor whether this becomes a pattern of retaliation.
Should I mention older relevant experience not listed on my résumé that could help me land the job?
Hello! I recently interviewed for a front desk/admin role at a law firm and have a 2nd in person interview tomorrow. I kept my résumé within the last 10 years as I was advised to do, so I didn’t include a job from 2014–2016 where I worked as a Workers’ Comp claims associate.
During the phone interview, they mentioned I may help with ordering Workers’ Comp medical records which I actually did extensively in that earlier role (this wasn’t listed in the original job description or I would’ve added it to my résumé again before sending it their way).
Now I’m wondering if I should bring up that experience in the interview tomorrow, even though it’s not on my résumé. I don’t want it to seem like I intentionally left something off, but it’s definitely relevant.
Would it be better to mention it proactively, or only if it comes up?
If it’s OK or good to mention and shouldn’t jeopardize anything, how do you suggest I bring it up?
Thanks in advance!
Jobadvisor
Yes—absolutely mention it. This is a strategic opportunity, not a risk.
### Why it's a strong move:
- **Direct relevance**: You have hands-on experience with a task they specifically mentioned (ordering Workers' Comp medical records). That's a tangible skill that reduces their training time.
- **Standard résumé practice**: Keeping your résumé to the last 10 years is widely accepted advice. No reasonable hiring manager will view omitting a 2014–2016 role as deceptive—it's expected.
- **Shows initiative**: Proactively connecting your background to their needs demonstrates preparation, self-awareness, and problem-solving.
### Should you bring it up proactively?
**Yes.** Don't wait for it to come up organically. In a second interview, you want to reinforce why you're the solution to their needs. Waiting risks the topic never arising.
### How to bring it up naturally (with scripts):
Weave it in when discussing responsibilities, tasks, or your background. Keep it concise and value-focused.
**Option 1: When they ask about relevant experience**
> "You mentioned during our phone screen that this role may involve ordering Workers' Comp medical records. I actually handled that extensively earlier in my career when I worked as a Workers' Comp claims associate from 2014 to 2016. I'm familiar with the documentation, privacy protocols, and vendor coordination involved—so I could hit the ground running on that task."
**Option 2: When discussing why you're a strong fit**
> "One thing that excites me about this role is the chance to support the team with Workers' Comp documentation. In a previous role as a Claims Associate, I managed medical record requests regularly, so I understand both the urgency and the compliance aspects. I kept my résumé focused on the last decade per standard practice, but I wanted to highlight that experience since it aligns so closely with what you're looking for."
**Option 3: If you want to be subtly proactive early on**
> "Before we dive in, I wanted to follow up on something from our last conversation: you mentioned Workers' Comp medical records. That's actually an area where I have direct prior experience, and I'd love to share how that could translate to this role if it's helpful."
### Key phrasing tips:
- ✅ Frame it as *adding value*, not correcting an omission: "I wanted to highlight…" not "I forgot to mention…"
- ✅ Keep it brief (2–3 sentences max), then pivot back to how it helps *them*.
- ✅ Use confident, matter-of-fact language—you're not apologizing for your résumé choices.
- ❌ Avoid over-explaining why it's not on your résumé; a simple "per standard résumé practice" is enough if needed.
Bonus for your interview tomorrow:
- Since you have ADHD and may feel pressure to "get it right," jot down this talking point on a notepad you bring. Having it written reduces cognitive load and ensures you don't forget it in the moment.
- Practice the script once out loud—just once—to build muscle memory without over-rehearsing.
- Remember: They invited you back. They already see potential. This is about reinforcing fit, not proving worth.
You've got relevant, timely experience that solves a problem they have. Sharing it thoughtfully isn't just okay—it's smart strategy. Wishing you a confident, successful interview tomorrow. 🌟
Does this mean I'm the clear after being investigated?
I was placed on leave pending investigation and I wasn't told why and could not think of what I did. They just called me to come in for conclusion meeting. It sounds like a closing meeting but I haven't been told about the allegations.. Does this usually happen if the allegations are unfounded?
Jobadvisor
Based on current workplace investigation practices, **being called to a conclusion/closeout meeting does not automatically mean you've been cleared**—this type of meeting is standard procedure regardless of the outcome.
### What the research shows:
🔹 **Closeout meetings happen in all cases.** Employers are advised to meet with the accused employee to formally close the investigation, share high-level findings (if appropriate), confirm next steps, and remind everyone of anti-retaliation policies—even when allegations are unfounded. [[2]][[6]]
🔹 **Not being told allegations beforehand isn't unusual.** Many organizations limit disclosure during investigations to protect complainant confidentiality or preserve investigative integrity. Some jurisdictions don't legally require advance notice of specific allegations before an investigatory interview. [[14]][[13]]
🔹 **What matters is what happens *in* the meeting.** Pay attention to:
- Whether they state the investigation is "closed with no further action" or mention corrective measures
- Whether you're being reinstated immediately, placed on a performance plan, or offered support resources
- Whether they provide written confirmation of the outcome (you can politely ask for this) [[7]][[8]]
### How to prepare for your meeting:
1. **Bring a notebook** to document what is said (you can take notes for your records).
2. **Ask clarifying questions**, such as:
- "Can you share the general outcome of the investigation?"
- "Will I receive written confirmation of today's discussion?"
- "Are there any expectations or next steps for me?"
3. **Stay calm and professional**—this is a procedural step, not necessarily a judgment.
4. **Follow up in writing** after the meeting: "Per our conversation today, I understand that [summary]. Please confirm if this accurately reflects the outcome."
### If you're worried about your rights:
- You generally have the right to fair treatment and to respond to allegations, though the timing of disclosure varies by employer policy and jurisdiction. [[30]][[32]]
- If you feel the process was unfair or you're facing retaliation after the meeting, document everything and consider consulting an employment attorney or your local labor board.
> ⚠️ **Important**: I'm an AI assistant, not a lawyer. If this situation involves potential legal risk, job loss, or you feel your rights were violated, please consult an employment attorney in your area for personalized guidance.
However this meeting unfolds, you've already taken a responsible step by seeking clarity. However the outcome lands, you deserve to be treated with fairness and respect throughout the process. If you'd like help drafting a follow-up email or preparing talking points for the meeting, I'm here to help. 💙