Why do Americans continue to maintain the tipping culture?
I live in a country without a tipping culture, so American tipping feels truly bizarre to me.
In the US, do they really only pay, say, $2 an hour—not enough to survive without tips? Or do American restaurant servers all possess such incredible professionalism that you feel the tips are well worth it?
Having to pay an extra 20% of the food bill every single time I eat out seems very weird. Also iirc, I heard the tip rate was 12-15% ten years ago, but now it's 20%. The fact that tip rates have inflation too makes it even harder to understand.
Jobadvisor
The persistence of tipping culture in the United States is rooted in a complex interplay of historical, economic, legal, and social factors. Here’s a detailed breakdown:
1. Historical Origins and Cultural Norms
- European Influence: Tipping originated in 17th-century England as a aristocratic practice to reward servants. It spread to the U.S. in the 19th century, where it became entrenched as a way to differentiate service standards in a class-conscious society.
- Post-Slavery Labor Practices: After the abolition of slavery, some employers used tipping as a way to avoid paying former slaves a full wage, framing it as a "voluntary" reward for service. This legacy contributed to tipping becoming a substitute for wages in certain industries.
- Cultural Acceptance: Over time, tipping became normalized in the U.S. as a way to incentivize good service and express gratitude. It is now deeply ingrained in social etiquette, with many Americans viewing it as a moral obligation rather than an optional gesture.
2. Economic and Legal Framework
- Subminimum Wage for Tipped Workers: Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), employers can pay tipped workers as little as $2.13 per hour in federal minimum wage (though some states set higher rates). This system relies on tips to make up the difference, effectively shifting part of the employer’s labor cost onto customers.
- Tip Credits: Employers are allowed to claim a "tip credit" toward meeting the federal minimum wage ($7.25/hour). If tips don’t cover the gap, employers must compensate, but enforcement is often lax, leaving workers vulnerable to underpayment.
- Income Volatility: For many service workers, tips constitute 50–70% of their total earnings. This creates financial instability, as income fluctuates based on shifts, seasons, and customer generosity.
3. Why Tipping Rates Have Risen
- Inflation and Cost of Living: As prices for goods and services rise, workers push for higher tips to keep pace with living expenses. The federal minimum wage for tipped workers has remained at $2.13 since 1991, exacerbating the need for larger tips.
- Shift to Digital Payments: Digital payment systems often suggest default tip amounts (e.g., 18%, 20%, or 25%), subtly pressuring customers to pay more. This "tip creep" has normalized higher rates over time.
- Pandemic-Era Changes: During the COVID-19 pandemic, some customers increased tipping to support struggling service workers, setting a new precedent that persists in some sectors.
4. Social and Psychological Factors
- Reciprocity and Guilt: Many Americans feel obligated to tip to avoid social stigma or guilt. Not tipping can be seen as rude or disrespectful, especially in high-contact service roles like dining.
- Performance Incentives: Tipping is theoretically tied to service quality, though studies show it’s more influenced by factors like race, gender, and attractiveness than actual performance. This creates a paradox where workers must "perform" gratitude even when tips are unpredictable.
- Customer Control: Some Americans appreciate the ability to reward exceptional service directly, viewing tipping as a form of empowerment in consumer transactions.
5. Resistance to Change
- Industry Lobbying: The restaurant and hospitality industries lobby against raising the tipped minimum wage, arguing it would increase menu prices or lead to layoffs.
- Worker Preferences: Some tipped workers oppose abolishing tipping, fearing a shift to a fixed-wage system could reduce their earnings if employers cut hours or benefits.
- Cultural Inertia: Tipping is so deeply embedded in U.S. culture that any proposed reform (e.g., a no-tipping model with higher menu prices) faces significant pushback from both customers and workers.
6. Comparison to Other Countries
- In countries like Japan or Australia, tipping is rare or nonexistent because service workers earn a living wage. The U.S. system is unusual among developed nations for relying so heavily on customer discretion to supplement wages.
- Some U.S. states (e.g., California, Oregon, and Washington) have eliminated the tipped minimum wage, requiring employers to pay the full state minimum wage regardless of tips. However, these states are the exception, not the norm.
American tipping culture persists due to a combination of historical precedent, economic dependency, legal loopholes, and social conditioning. While it is often criticized for perpetuating income inequality and placing unfair burdens on workers and customers, systemic change faces significant resistance from industries, policymakers, and cultural norms. Until the federal tipped minimum wage is raised or abolished, tipping will likely remain a contentious but enduring feature of the U.S. service economy.
Should I just get the cops involved rather than only notify HR?
I have a coworker who is OBSESSED with me and will not leave me alone. I stupidly thought ignoring him was going to make him lose complete interest in me and he was going to leave me alone. On the contrary. He seems to find more ways to try to get my attention. The last straw that made me go to HR was when I caught him peeking inside my car and taking photos of my license plates. He didn't see any problem with that when I confronted him and he thought it was hilarious. HR got involved. This was about 3 weeks ago.
He then started peeking underneath my cubicle almost daily. I told him to stop and he laughed and continued doing it. HR got involved. This was last week.
Not only has the peeking underneath my cubicle still going, but he is now watching me leave the building as soon as I clock out. He is very well aware at this point that I am uncomfortable with this, and yet he still thinks this is funny. I let HR know that he was watching me before I left.
If he's had HR talked to at least 3 times, I don't think he's going to get the message that I want to be left alone. I'm now worried that he is going to start stalking me around town, or worse, find out where I live and start harassing me from home. I feel like talking to HR wasn't enough. I'm actually worried this is the beginning of a nightmare with dealing with him and I want to know if there are ways to protect myself to prevent that from happening.
Thank you.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you are going through this. To be clear: what you are describing isn't just "awkward coworker behavior"—it is harassment and escalating stalking.
The fact that he finds your distress "hilarious" is a major red flag. It suggests he enjoys the power dynamic of making you feel unsafe. Since HR’s intervention hasn't stopped him, you are right to feel that their current process is insufficient.
Here is a breakdown of how to protect yourself legally and professionally in California.
1. Get the Police Involved
In California, stalking is defined under Penal Code 646.9.
File a Police Report: Do not wait for the next incident. Go to the station and file a report for "Stalking and Harassment." This creates a formal paper trail outside of your company's internal files.
The "Paper Trail": Give the police the dates of the car incident, the cubicle incidents, and the clock-out monitoring. Mention that he is ignoring HR’s directives, which proves his intent to continue despite being told his behavior is unwelcome.
2. Consider a Restraining Order
Since this is a coworker, you have two primary paths in California:
Civil Harassment Restraining Order (CHRO): You can file this yourself. If granted, he would be legally required to stay a certain distance from you, your car, and your home.
Workplace Violence Restraining Order: Under Code of Civil Procedure 527.8, your employer can actually file this on your behalf to protect you at the site.
3. Light a Fire Under HR
HR’s job is to protect the company from liability. Currently, they are failing. You need to shift the narrative from "interpersonal conflict" to "hostile work environment and safety threat."
Send a "Formal Notice": Send an email to HR (keep a copy for your personal records) stating: "The previous interventions have failed. The harassment is escalating and I no longer feel safe at this worksite. I am now documenting these incidents for law enforcement. What is the company’s immediate plan to ensure my physical safety?"
Demand Action: Ask if they are moving to terminate him or if they will provide you with a security escort to your car.
4. Immediate Safety Steps
Vary Your Routine: If possible, change your clock-out time by 10–15 minutes or use a different exit.
The "Stalking Log": Keep a dedicated notebook (not on a work computer). Record every date, time, and witness for every interaction.
Check Your Car: Since he was photographing your plates, check your wheel wells or under-chassis for AirTags or GPS trackers. It sounds paranoid, but given his behavior, it's a necessary precaution.
Comparison of Actions
| Action | Purpose | Why it's needed now |
| Police Report | Legal documentation | HR files stay internal; police files are public record. |
| Restraining Order | Physical distance | Gives police the power to arrest him if he gets near you. |
| HR Ultimatum | Employment status | Forces the company to realize he is a liability, not just a nuisance. |
You are not overreacting. Trust your gut—harassment that continues after multiple warnings is a sign of someone who does not respect boundaries or the law.
Can my boss give out certain info?
My boss has been telling tenants that I “have a drug problem.” This isn’t true, and it’s damaging my reputation at work.
I didn’t consent to this, there’s no medical basis for it, and it’s being shared with people outside the workplace. Is this legal? Could this be defamation or a privacy violation?
This is in [WI]. Any advice on what I should do next would help.
Jobadvisor
That sounds like an incredibly stressful and frustrating situation. Dealing with false rumors is hard enough, but having them spread by your boss to the very people you serve (the tenants) is a serious breach of professional conduct.
In Wisconsin, you have several potential legal protections. Here is a breakdown of how this situation generally fits into the law and what steps you can take.
1. Defamation (Slander)
Since your boss is making these statements verbally, this falls under slander. In Wisconsin, calling someone a "drug addict" or saying they have a "drug problem" when it is untrue is a classic example of defamation.
Defamation Per Se: Some statements are considered so naturally harmful that you don't even have to prove specific financial loss to sue. Accusations of "serious sexual misconduct" or "criminal behavior" often fall here. While drug use is a gray area, falsely accusing someone of illegal activity (drug use) is generally actionable.
The Truth Defense: Truth is the absolute defense against defamation. Since you mentioned this isn't true, your boss cannot use "truth" as a shield.
2. Invasion of Privacy
Wisconsin Statute § 995.50 protects individuals against the "unreasonable publicity given to the private life of another."
Even if a medical condition did exist (which you've clarified it doesn't), an employer generally cannot disclose private health information to third parties (like tenants) without a business-related "need to know." Spreading this to tenants serves no legitimate business purpose and likely violates your right to privacy.
3. Workplace Retaliation or Harassment
If your boss is doing this to force you to quit or as a response to a disagreement, it could be classified as a hostile work environment. Additionally, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) actually protects employees who are perceived to have a disability (like addiction), even if they don't actually have one.
Recommended Next Steps
Document Everything
Before taking formal action, gather your "receipts."
Witnesses: Write down the names of the tenants who told you this. If they are willing to provide a written statement or an email confirming what the boss said, that is gold.
The "What/When/Where": Keep a log of every instance you hear about this happening.
Internal Reporting
Check your company's Policy & Procedures manual.
If your boss has a supervisor or there is an HR department, you may want to file a formal written grievance.
Note: State clearly that these statements are false, defamatory, and creating a hostile work environment.
Consult an Employment Attorney
Because this involves your reputation and potential loss of employment, a quick consultation with a Wisconsin employment lawyer is highly recommended. Many offer free initial consultations. They can send a "Cease and Desist" letter, which often scares an employer into stopping the behavior immediately.
File a Complaint
You can contact the Wisconsin Department of Workforce Development (DWD) if you feel this is leading to discrimination or a wrongful termination.
Quick Tip: If you decide to talk to your boss directly (only if you feel safe doing so), do it via email or have a witness present. Simply ask: "I’ve been told by several tenants that you mentioned I have a drug problem. Can you clarify why this is being shared, as it is untrue and damaging to my role?"
Advice Needed!!! How to protect my job through a scary situation [MI]
Hello,
Reaching out hoping to get some advice from an HR perspective. This is a unique situation and i'm trying to gather as much info as possible.
I am a valued employee for a large hospital...perfect work record, etc., and see myself spending my career here.
I have an an estranged, mentally ill family member who is currently defaming me online (serious accusations, all false). We have not spoken (no text, call, email, face to face encounters) for nearly 4 years. My family and I are strongly considering a cease and desist letter, but I fear this will spark further defammation and am not ruling out the possibility they contact my employer and attempt to defame me that way as well (my employer is "at will").
Aside from this being a disturbing, traumatic experience from a reputatuon standpoint, my sole focus is to not have me career ruined by a deranged individual, to make a long story short.
Are there any steps recommended in this instance? Do I need to reach out to my HR dept.? Ideally, I really don't want to have to even mention this situation and get into all the defaming accusations, but if there are other ways to protect myself from losing my job, I will gladly explore. Thank you for any and all help/advice.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is incredibly jarring when a private family crisis threatens to bleed into a professional life you’ve worked so hard to build.
Since you are in Michigan, which is an at-will employment state, your instinct to protect your reputation is correct. While "at-will" means they can fire you for almost any reason, hospitals—especially large ones—tend to be very process-oriented and risk-averse. They generally don't want to fire a "perfect record" employee based on the rants of an outside party without a clear policy violation.
Here is a strategy to protect your career while maintaining your privacy.
1. The "Pre-emptive Strike" vs. "Wait and See"
In HR, we generally prefer to know about a "problem" from the employee first, rather than from a screaming phone call or a disturbing email from a stranger.
If the defamation is public/searchable: If someone Googles your name and these accusations pop up, you must speak to HR or your manager now.
If the defamation is in private circles: You might wait, but since you are considering a Cease and Desist (C&D), you should assume the family member will retaliate by contacting your job.
2. How to Brief HR (The "Less is More" Approach)
You do not need to go into the "gory details" of the false accusations. If you provide too much detail, you unintentionally make the "drama" part of your workplace identity.
Use this script/framework:
"I want to make you aware of a private family matter to ensure it doesn't disrupt the workplace. I have an estranged family member struggling with severe mental health issues who has been making false, harassing statements online. While I am handling this legally, there is a chance they may try to contact the hospital to cause trouble. I have a perfect record here and value my career, so I wanted to give you a heads-up that any such communication is part of a documented harassment campaign."
3. Practical Steps for a Large Hospital Setting
Large healthcare systems have specific protocols for security and reputation management.
Security/Reception Alert: If this person knows where you work, alert hospital security. Give them a photo of the individual and ask that they be trespassed if they show up. This frames the issue as a safety concern, which HR takes much more seriously than "family drama."
Social Media Hygiene: Ensure your LinkedIn and other profiles don't list your specific department or extension. Lock down your privacy settings so "friends of friends" cannot see your posts.
IT/Email Filters: If you have a work email, you can ask IT if they can block a specific personal email address from reaching your inbox if it becomes a harassment tool.
4. Documentation is Your Shield
If you do send that Cease and Desist, keep a "Work Protection Folder" (off-site, not on a work computer) containing:
A copy of the C&D letter.
Screenshots of the defamation (to prove it’s a pattern of harassment).
Your most recent performance reviews showing your "perfect record."
In Michigan, if an employer fires you based on clearly false information provided by a third party with "malice," that third party could be held liable for Tortious Interference with a Business Relationship. Knowing this might give you some peace of mind—the law doesn't just let people ruin lives without consequence.
A Note on your Boss (from your previous message)
I noticed in your previous message that your boss was the one spreading rumors about a "drug problem." Is this the same job? If so, you are in a delicate spot. If your boss is already prone to gossiping or spreading misinformation, you may want to go directly to HR or a Chief Nursing Officer/Department Head rather than your direct supervisor to report this family situation.