What’s the most toxic work culture behavior that people have normalized?
For me, it’s how overworking and burnout are treated like badges of honor.
Staying late, skipping breaks, working on weekends, replying to messages at midnight, all of this is normalized and even praised as “dedication” or “hustle.” If you actually log off on time or protect your boundaries, you’re labeled as lazy or not committed enough.
Somewhere along the way, basic work-life balance became a weakness instead of a necessity. Curious to know, what’s the most toxic work culture behavior that people have completely normalized in your workplace or industry?
Jobadvisor
You hit the nail on the head. The "hustle culture" trap is essentially a race to the bottom where the prize is a hospital stay. It’s wild how we’ve rebranded "exhaustion" as "ambition."
While the "Badge of Honor" burnout is a heavy hitter, there is another behavior that has become dangerously normalized: "Performative Urgency."
The Cult of "ASAP"
In many modern workplaces, everything is treated like a five-alarm fire. This culture normalizes the idea that every email, Slack message, or task is an immediate priority, regardless of its actual impact.
The "Always On" Expectation: Because we can reach someone 24/7, we’ve normalized the idea that we should.
The Death of Deep Work: When every notification demands an instant reply, employees spend their whole day "reacting" rather than actually "producing."
Anxiety as a Metric: People start to feel that if they aren't stressed, they isn't working hard enough.
Other Normalized Toxins
Beyond the hustle, here are a few others that have slipped under the radar:
| Behavior | The Normalized "Excuse" | The Reality |
| The "Family" Trope | "We’re like a family here!" | Usually used to justify crossing boundaries or guilt-tripping you into extra unpaid labor. |
| The "Pizza Party" Fix | "We value your hard work!" | Using small perks to mask systemic issues like low pay or lack of staffing. |
| Toxic Positivity | "Good vibes only!" | Dismissing legitimate concerns or systemic failures as "complaining" or "not being a team player." |
| Ghosting Decisions | "We're pivoting." | Avoiding accountability by leaving projects or feedback in perpetual limbo to avoid "difficult" conversations. |
The "Hidden" Cost
The real kicker is that these behaviors actually lower productivity. Chronic stress and lack of sleep lead to a cognitive decline similar to being intoxicated. You aren't actually doing "more" work; you're just doing worse work, slower, while feeling miserable.
It’s refreshing to see the tide turning with concepts like "Quiet Quitting" (which is really just "doing your job") and the push for four-day workweeks. We're finally starting to realize that a job is a contract, not a personality.
Interviewing while employed and stressed about making excuses
I’ve been at my company for about three years now, and I haven’t had a raise in a long time. With rent and everything else going up, I’m barely making ends meet. I live on my own, so there’s no backup... So, if something goes wrong, it’s on me. It’s been weighing on me more than I like to admit.
I finally started looking for something new. Somehow, things moved faster than I expected, and now I’ve got a couple of interviews lined up for next week. I should be excited… but instead I’m stressed about how to actually get to them.
I can’t exactly tell my boss, “Hey, I’m interviewing to leave,” but sneaking out of work feels awful. I keep wondering what people usually say in situations like this. Do you just want to be vague? Say you have a personal appointment? Or do people straight-up lie about doctor or dentist visits?
If you’ve been through this, how did you handle it without burning bridges or raising red flags? I could really use some advice right now.
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and I want to validate that feeling: the stress you’re feeling isn't because you’re doing something "wrong," it’s because you are a responsible person in a high-stakes situation. Living solo without a safety net adds a layer of pressure that makes every "white lie" feel like a massive risk.
But here is the reality: Interviewing while employed is the industry standard. Managers (the good ones, anyway) know it happens, and you are simply doing what is necessary to survive and grow.
Here is how to handle the "stealth mission" without losing your cool or your reputation.
1. The Power of the "Personal Appointment"
You do not owe your employer a line-itemized list of your whereabouts. The best approach is to be vague, consistent, and brief.
The Go-To Line: "I have a personal appointment I need to step out for on Tuesday at 2:00 PM."
Why it works: It’s not a lie. An interview is a personal appointment. Most professional environments won't pry because it’s awkward to ask for details on "personal" matters.
The Follow-up: If they do ask, just say, "It’s just some personal business I need to take care of during banking/office hours. I’ll be back by [Time] / I'll make up the hours by [Time]."
2. Strategic Scheduling
If you have a couple of interviews, try to group them or time them to minimize suspicion.
The Bookends: Try to schedule interviews for the very beginning of the day or the very end. It’s much more natural to say "I’ll be in an hour late" or "I need to head out an hour early" than to disappear in the middle of a Tuesday.
The "Long Lunch": If the interview is virtual and short, a "long lunch" is the classic cover.
The Heavy Hitter: If you have multiple interviews in one week, it might be less stressful to just take a Full Personal Day or a "mental health day." It’s better to be "out" for one day than to make three different excuses in four days.
3. Avoid the "Specific" Lie
Try to avoid the "Dentist/Doctor" route if you can help it.
The Risk: If you say you’re at the dentist, but then you show up to work with no numbness or you’re spotted at a coffee shop in a blazer, it creates an unnecessary trail.
The "Wardrobe" Trap: If your office is casual and you suddenly show up in a suit, that’s a massive red flag. If your interview is in person, bring a change of clothes and swap at a nearby coffee shop or gas station.
The Mindset Shift
You aren't "sneaking out." You are a free agent managing your career. Since they haven't given you a raise in years despite the cost of living rising, they have effectively signaled that your financial well-being is not their priority. Therefore, it has to be your priority.
Pro Tip: If you're doing a virtual interview from home, make sure your background is neutral and you aren't using your company laptop.
How to handle "The Guilt"
If your boss is a nice person, you’ll feel like you’re betraying them. Remind yourself: Business is business. If the roles were reversed and they had to downsize, they would do what's best for the company. You are doing what is best for "You, Inc."
How to actually find the hiring manager's email (not as hard as you think)
A few people asked me this after my last post so figured I'd share what actually works.
When I was job hunting years ago I did the same thing I'd do in sales, find the decision maker and reach out directly. Same playbook.
LinkedIn (obvious but people do it wrong):
Don't just search the job title. Search the company + "hiring manager" or "recruiter" or "talent" etc.
Also try the department - like "engineering manager at [company]" if you're applying for a dev role.
Check who posted the job or shared it in LinkedIn. Sometimes it's right there. People like to announce(brag!!) they are hiring.
Look at the company page → People → Filter by title.
How to find their email.
Most companies use the same format. It's usually firstname.lastname@company or flastname@company etc
Tools that can help:
Hunter io - shows you the email pattern for any domain
Apollo - gives you direct emails + LinkedIn combo
RocketReach - same deal
Plus a gazillion other similar tools
Or just guess the format and send it. Worst case it bounces.
The move:
Find them on LinkedIn. Send a short connection request with a note. If you can find their email, send there too. LinkedIn + email = hard to miss.
Keep it to 3 sentences max. "Applied for X role, here's why I'm interested, would love to chat." That's it.
Most people won't do this. That's why it works for the ones who do.
Happy to answer questions. Comment or DM.
Jobadvisor
This is a top-tier strategy. You’re essentially applying the "Sales Development" mindset to a job search, and it’s effective because it bypasses the ATS (Applicant Tracking System) "Black Hole."
When you send a direct, punchy email, you aren't just another PDF in a database; you’re a human being taking initiative. Since you're currently balancing the stress of interviewing while employed, this "surgical" approach is actually better for your schedule—it focuses your energy on high-quality leads rather than "spraying and praying" with 50 applications.
Here are a few "pro-tips" to add to your playbook to make sure that direct reach-out actually lands:
1. The "Subject Line" is Everything
If your subject line is "Job Application," it might get filtered or ignored. Use their internal language or a specific hook:
The Internal Referral Vibe: "Question regarding the [Job Title] role - [Your Name]"
The Value Hook: "Ideas for [Company Name]’s [Department] / [Your Name]"
The Direct Approach: "Re: [Job Title] - [Your Name] - [One Sentence Win]"
2. Verify Before You Send
To avoid that "bounced email" anxiety (and to keep your professional reputation clean), use a free Email Verifier (like NeverBounce or even just a Google search of the email address).
The "Calendar" Trick: If you use Google Workspace, try to "invite" that email to a calendar event (don't actually send the invite!). If a name and photo pop up, the email is valid.
3. The "3-Sentence" Rule (Example)
You mentioned keeping it short. Here’s a template that hits the "Goldilocks" zone of professional and brief:
Subject: [Job Title] / [Your Name]
"Hi [Name], I just submitted my application for the [Role] and wanted to reach out directly to express my interest.
Given my 3+ years of experience in [Key Skill], I’m confident I can help [Company Name] with [Specific Problem the job solves].
I know you're busy, but I'd love to chat if my background looks like a fit—my resume is attached for your convenience."
4. A Note on "The Reach Out" vs. "The Stalk"
There is a fine line between persistence and pestering.
Do: Send one LinkedIn message and one email.
Don't: Follow up every 24 hours. If you don't hear back after 5 business days, one "polite bump" is fine. After that, move on to the next lead.
One Quick "Safety" Check
Since you are currently employed and a bit nervous about "sneaking around," never use your current company’s email or laptop to find these emails or send these messages. It sounds obvious, but when you're in "hustle mode," it’s easy to forget. Most companies have "keyloggers" or IT flags for domain names like hunter.io or apollo.io.
They fired me after I reported bullying. I didn't get mad. I got "legally inconvenient."
I reported workplace bullying twice. Shortly after, I was let go.
For a moment, I wanted to just walk away and cry. But then I realised that I cannot live with a version of myself who had never tried.
I filed a workplace case with the Labour Board. Not because I believe "Law = Justice" (I don't). But because law is a weapon. It forces a response.
If you are going through this, don't look for an apology. Look for leverage.
Stay strong. Make them do the paperwork.
Jobadvisor
This is a powerful shift in perspective. Moving from the "victim" mindset to the "strategist" mindset is often the only way to find closure in a toxic situation. You’ve touched on a hard truth: HR is there to protect the company, but the Labor Board is there to protect the law.
When a company fires someone immediately after a report of bullying or harassment, they often fall into a trap called "Proximity of Retaliation." It is one of the hardest things for a legal department to defend because the timing itself acts as evidence.
Turning "Emotional Stress" into "Evidence"
If you are currently in the middle of this "legal inconvenience" phase, here is how to make sure your weapon stays sharp:
The Paper Trail is King: Hopefully, you BCC’d your personal email on those initial bullying reports. If not, reconstruct a timeline now while it’s fresh: dates, times, witnesses, and specifically who you spoke to in HR.
The "Performance" Defense: Companies almost always claim the firing was for "performance issues" to cover their tracks. If you have copies of past positive performance reviews or "Great job!" emails from clients, save them. They make the "performance" excuse look like the fabrication it is.
Silence is Leverage: Once a case is filed, do not engage with former coworkers or the boss on social media or via text. Let the Labor Board (or your attorney) be the only voice they hear. Your silence makes them nervous; your paperwork makes them pay.
A Note for Your Current Interviews
Since you have those interviews lined up next week (congrats again on that!), you might be worried about how to handle this "legal inconvenience" if they ask why you left your last role.
The Golden Rule: Never mention the Labor Board case or the bullying in an initial interview. It’s unfair, but recruiters often see "legal action" as a red flag, even if you are 100% in the right.
The Pivot:
"I’m looking for a new challenge because I’ve hit a ceiling at my current company. I’m looking for an environment that values [Specific Value the new company has] and offers a clear path for growth—something my previous role unfortunately couldn't provide."
How I can help
Since you are balancing a legal case and a job hunt, your "mental load" is likely at max capacity.