Leadership is often shrouded in mystery, seen as an enigmatic quality that only a select few are born with. We talk about charisma, command presence, and an elusive spark that supposedly sets great leaders apart from everyone else. But John Amaechi, a former NBA player turned organizational psychologist, is here to debunk these myths and reveal a more grounded truth: leadership isn't magic, and that's exactly what makes it so powerful.
In his insightful book, It’s Not Magic: The Ordinary Skills of Exceptional Leaders, Amaechi challenges the notion that leadership excellence is innate. When asked about the inspiration behind his book, Amaechi's response was straightforward: frustration. "It was a frustration with some of the leaders I work with who seem to believe leadership is about something you’re born with, you either have or you don’t," he explained.
This frustration drove Amaechi to put his own leadership abilities to the test. He invited colleagues from the University of Exeter to observe his work, expecting they might uncover some extraordinary trait. Instead, what they found was far more mundane—and significantly more actionable. "It’s an interesting combination of very ordinary skills … a little disappointing but I think an excellent lesson for all leaders who say they can’t do something," Amaechi remarked.
The Ordinary Skill of Presence
One of these ordinary yet crucial skills is presence. Amaechi points to research from the UK’s largest hospital system, which found that patient outcomes improved significantly based on one factor: whether patients believed their surgeon had genuine empathy. "Whether they thought their surgeon cared was important. The presence of that person, the authenticity of the interactions, and the fact that the interactions weren’t just transactional made a significant difference," he said.
This principle holds true in organizational settings as well. Managers who engage in transactional interactions, who seem physically present but mentally absent, undermine performance. Amaechi emphasized, "Human beings are highly attuned in social interactions. When people feel unseen, there’s no point in your talking anymore. What you add will be increasingly less valuable over time."
This isn't about being nice; it's about creating an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their ideas. Amaechi learned this early in his NBA career when a veteran player took a rookie aside to teach him about financial responsibility. "I thought this is what it is to lead. Here is this person protecting me, instilling habits that will last all the way through to retirement," Amaechi recalled.
Debunking Leadership Myths
Amaechi argues that leadership myths cause real harm. Many believe that leadership is an innate trait—you either have it or you don’t. Others confuse leadership with aggression, thinking it’s about volume and dominance, essentially a proxy for masculinity. Some even see leadership as a single behavior rather than a collection of small actions. "True leadership is broken down into lots and lots of tiny little things that make a difference," Amaechi said.
Even something as simple as approachability is behavioral, according to Amaechi. "It’s the way you hold your face when someone approaches you," he explained. Leaders who don’t bother to turn their chair around to face someone in conversation send a clear message: "You’re literally telling them that they’re not worth the effort of swiveling."
The Cost of Avoidance
Amaechi identifies a common pattern in leadership failures: prioritizing personal comfort over organizational performance. He shared an example of a senior leader who boasted about gym soreness but avoided giving difficult feedback moments later. "He wants to win, he says, but he chose personal comfort over organizational performance," Amaechi noted.
This avoidance comes at a high cost. "Frightened people don’t perform, anxious people don’t perform, uncertain people don’t perform," Amaechi said. At its core, leadership requires emotional self-regulation. "Nobody is doing their best work during an earthquake."
The Deceptively Simple Question
For Amaechi, the question leaders should ask themselves daily is straightforward yet profound: "Do you really know yourself accurately to how others see you?" Many leaders believe they are candid and direct but are perceived as callous and cruel. Self-awareness, therefore, is key.
The Promise of Ordinary Skills
The promise of It’s Not Magic isn’t comfort—it’s responsibility. Exceptional leadership doesn't come from theatrics or titles. It comes from choosing presence over distraction, courage over comfort, and curiosity over ego. There’s no need for a lightning bolt or some mystical quality. Just ordinary skills, practiced deliberately, in full view of the people counting on you.
In a world that often looks for heroes in high places, Amaechi’s insights remind us that true leadership is within reach for anyone willing to put in the work. It’s not magic; it’s better. It’s ordinary skills, extraordinarily applied.