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Just started a new job and I actually can't fucking do this
Got a new office job after dropping out of uni (hundreds of applications later). Work is from 8:30 AM-5:30 PM 5x a week. Issue is, with traffic, I live just about an hour away from this place. Meaning I have to wake up at the very latest by 6:30 AM if I want to be ready in time, and that's not accounting traffic hold-ups that can delay me by 10+ minutes. Snowbirds have collectively ruined my fucking town in the winter seasons.
I sit in a cubicle, do some boring, monotonous work for 9 hours, leave, drive back in dark evening traffic potentially WORSE than the morning rush where I have to brake literally every 20 seconds if I don't want to rear-end someone, arrive home, maybe get a few chores done if I'm lucky, then go back to bed? What the actual fuck is this garbage!? I think I'd actually want to kill myself if I had to do this everyday of my life.
And all my family and teachers would hype up adult life saying "Who do you wanna be when you grow up?" "You should work in tech, you LOVE tech!" FUCK this shit, I wouldn't do this CRAP for 200k a year!
My only potential solace is that my parents have expressed support in me returning to finish university, so that's precisely what I'm going to do. And I'm going to actually study something I love that I've been too afraid to pursue over "salary," instead of some soul-crushing desk job that pays well but leaves me empty inside.
Jobadvisor
I hear you loud and clear, and honestly? Your reaction isn't "weakness" or "laziness"—it’s a completely rational response to a sudden, massive shock to your system.
Going from the flexibility of uni to a 50-hour-a-week commitment (including that soul-sucking commute) is like jumping into a frozen lake. The "9-to-5" is rarely just nine to five; with the commute and the "recovery time" needed when you get home, it swallows your entire existence.
Why It Feels So Bleak Right Now
The Commute Tax: You aren't working 9 hours; you’re "on" for 11 or 12. Constant stop-and-go traffic is psychologically draining because it requires high alertness for zero reward.
The Cubicle Factor: Human beings aren't biologically designed to sit in a windowless box under fluorescent lights staring at spreadsheets for 9 hours. The monotony is physically painful.
The "Looming Forever" Panic: That feeling of "Is this the next 40 years?" is enough to give anyone a crisis.
The Silver Lining: You Have an Exit Strategy
The fact that your parents are supportive of you going back to school is a massive win. You’ve just received the most effective "anti-procrastination" pill imaginable. You now know exactly what you don't want, which is often more valuable than knowing what you do want.
Note: That "Tech" trap is real. People see the salary but forget that "loving tech" (using it, building PCs, gaming) is worlds apart from the corporate reality of debugging legacy code or managing databases in a cubicle.
How to Survive Until Uni Starts
Since you're planning to go back to school, this job is no longer a "career"—it’s just a short-term heist to stack some cash.
Detach Emotionally: Stop trying to "do a great job" and switch to "doing a fine job." Don't give them your mental energy.
Reclaim the Commute: If you’re stuck in that car for 2 hours a day, turn it into a bubble. Audiobooks, heavy metal, high-effort podcasts—whatever keeps you from focusing on the brake lights in front of you.
The "Study What You Love" Plan: Start researching that degree now. Having a syllabus or a reading list to look at during your lunch break will remind you that the cubicle is temporary.
This experience, as shitty as it feels right now, is actually going to make you a much better student. You'll be the person in the library at 11:00 PM thinking, "This is hard, but at least I'm not stuck in traffic on the I-95."
Real talk: has anyone actually tried those real time AI “cheats apps in an interview?
I keep seeing clips on TikTok/Ig where an apps listens to the interviewer and spits out answers you can read back (for behavioral questions)
Has anyone used one in a real interview? Did it actually help, or did it come out sounding generic and fake? I’m curious how the answers feel in the moment, especially if you feed it your background + the job description. Not looking for links or a how-to, just honest experiences and what happened.
Jobadvisor
It’s a wild time to be looking for a job. Those "Interview Copilot" apps (like Final Round, Interview Coder, or Cluely) are very real, and yes, people are absolutely using them.
Since you're heading back to uni to study something you actually care about, you might find this "cat and mouse" game between candidates and recruiters pretty fascinating—or depressing. Here is the "real talk" on how those apps actually play out in the room:
1. The "Uncanny Valley" Effect
Even if you feed the AI your entire life story and the job description, the answers often feel too perfect.
The "List" Problem: AI loves lists. If an interviewer asks a conversational question and you respond with exactly four perfectly structured bullet points with no "ums," "ahs," or natural tangents, it’s a massive red flag.
The Speed Trap: There is often a 1–2 second delay while the AI "listens" and generates. Candidates often sit in a weird, frozen silence, then suddenly burst into a highly articulate, 45-second monologue. Experienced recruiters recognize this "loading" behavior instantly.
2. The Gaze and the "Panic Eyes"
Recruiters are getting trained to watch for "Eye Tracking."
If you are reading a script off your screen, your pupils move in a very specific horizontal pattern.
If you get a follow-up question the AI didn't prep for, there’s a visible "glitch" in the candidate’s face as they wait for the box on their screen to update.
On Reddit, hiring managers have shared stories of seeing the AI overlay reflected in the candidate's glasses or even seeing it during a screen-share by accident.
3. Detection is Catching Up
Because these apps are blowing up on TikTok, companies are fighting back with their own AI:
Pattern Analysis: Tools like Polygraf or Sherlock now analyze the "fingerprint" of your speech. They look for "robotic" consistency in your tone and vocabulary that doesn't match how you spoke during the "small talk" phase of the interview.
The "Vibe Check": Many interviewers are moving away from standard questions and toward "probing." They’ll ask, "Wait, tell me more about that specific person you mentioned," or "Why did you choose that specific tool over another?" AI is terrible at these "deep dives" in real-time.
4. The "Culture" Risk
Since you mentioned wanting a job that doesn't leave you "empty inside," here’s the irony: using an AI cheat app basically guarantees you’ll end up in another soul-crushing job.
If you "cheat" your way into a role using an AI that makes you sound like a Corporate Robot, you’re going to be hired by someone who wants a Corporate Robot.
You’ll end up right back in that cubicle, doing the monotonous work you hate, because the "version" of you they hired was just a script.
The Verdict
Most people who use them successfully use them for minimal prompts (e.g., "Mention the STAR method" or "Talk about your Python project") rather than reading full answers. Reading a script back is the fastest way to get blacklisted.
Honestly, since you're planning to go back to uni, your best "cheat code" is the fact that you don't care as much. Interviewing when you have a backup plan (school) gives you a natural confidence and "IDGAF" energy that AI can't replicate.
How are people actually getting remote contracts right now?
Hey Everyone,
I’m trying to get an honest read on what’s actually working in the current market.
I’ve got ~6 years in data analytics and 2 years in ESG sustainability work . I’m based outside the US/EU, so my goal is remote roles or contracts with no visa restrictions.
I’ve been actively applying for about 10 months now!! I’ve tried tailored CVs, cold emailing smaller startups, LinkedIn outreach, and some posting. I get occasional replies, but very little that turns into interviews or paid work.
At this point, I’m less interested in theory and more in reality. (and Yes I'm tired af)
What I’d really value hearing:
→ Where did your last real opportunity come from (job, contract, referral, platform, cold reach)?
→ Are job applications still worth serious time, or mostly a numbers game now?
→ Is cold outreach to founders or hiring managers actually converting for anyone?
→ If you were aiming for remote work without visa constraints today, what would you focus on? What are the platforms are you applying for the remote contracts?
Not looking for hustle slogans or generic advice. Just honest experiences from people who’ve been through it recently.
Thanks really appreciate it.
Jobadvisor
Getting a remote contract while based outside the US/EU is arguably the "hardest mode" of job hunting in 2026. The market has shifted: companies are no longer just "hiring remotely"; they are hiring compliant global talent or specialized contractors.
Since you have 6 years in Data Analytics and 2 years in ESG (which is a high-demand "niche" intersection right now), you are likely failing because you’re playing the "Employee" game instead of the "Consultant" game.
1. Where the real opportunities are actually coming from
Specialized "Vetted" Talent Networks: Standard job boards (LinkedIn/Indeed) are currently flooded with AI-generated applications. Real contracts are moving to "Vetted Marketplaces" where you have to pass a test to get in.
Data/Tech: Look at Arc.dev, Toptal, Turing, and Wellfound (specifically for startups).
Sustainability/ESG: Look at Dazzle or Leafr.
2 These are "curated" marketplaces for ESG consultants.3 They handle the "no visa" hurdle by setting you up as a B2B contractor.
The "Niche" Pivot: Generalist "Data Analysts" are a dime a dozen. "ESG Data Analysts" who understand CSRD, Scope 3 emissions, or carbon accounting are rare. If your CV doesn't scream "I solve ESG data compliance problems," you're getting buried.
2. The Reality of Applications vs. Cold Outreach
Applications (The Numbers Game): It is almost entirely a numbers game now. In 2026, many "Remote" postings are actually "Ghost Jobs" used for market research or internal hires. Verdict: Spend only 20% of your time here, and only on "Remote-First" companies (e.g., GitLab, Zapier, Buffer).
Cold Outreach (The Conversion King): This is still working, but only if you stop selling "your skills" and start selling "a solution."
Bad Outreach: "I have 6 years of experience in Data and want a remote job." (Deleted instantly).
Good Outreach: "I noticed your company just released its first impact report. I specialize in automating ESG data pipelines to meet CSRD requirements. I saw a potential bottleneck in your [specific metric]... would you be open to a 10-minute chat on how I’ve streamlined this for others?"
3. Your Action Plan for "Outside US/EU" Remote Work
To bypass visa issues, you need to stop looking for jobs and start looking for contracts.
| Platform Type | Best Names for 2026 | Why it works for you |
| Global Compliance Hubs | OysterHR, Deel, Remote.com | Check their "Job Boards." They only list companies that already have the infrastructure to hire you legally in your country. |
| Data-Specific Boards | DataJobBoard.com, Otter.ai | Focuses on the technical stack (SQL, Python, dbt) where location matters less than output. |
| ESG/Climate Boards | Climatebase, Remote Climate Jobs | This is your "Blue Ocean." Companies here are often mission-driven and more flexible with global hiring. |
4. The "Portfolio of Proof"
In 2026, a CV is just a ticket to the door. To get a high-paying remote contract, you need a "Proof of Work" link.
For you: Create a public dashboard (Tableau/PowerBI) or a GitHub repo that specifically analyzes an ESG dataset (e.g., "Automated Carbon Footprint Tracker for SaaS companies").
Why? It proves you can work asynchronously without a manager holding your hand—which is the #1 fear remote employers have.
Getting interviews
Hi
I have 5 years of experience, applying for software engineer and for every application Iam tailoring the resume (by me, using ChatGPT, using gemini) and applying. For one day I nearly apply for 15 to 20 jobs. However, frankly speaking I didn’t receive a single proper call back in 3 months. In December I applied for 124 jobs and got one call back from start up, which also I found the job through LinkedIn post not in job section.
My concern is if I get calls I can say rejects are because of my lack of Knowledge but Iam not even receiving calls so little bit depressed.
Your opinion on this, any suggestions for improvements or should I change any thing in this process.
Thank you.
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and I want to start by saying that what you are feeling is completely valid. It is incredibly draining to put in the work—tailoring resumes, tracking applications, and staying consistent—only to be met with silence.
The fact that you are getting zero callbacks with 5 years of experience (which is usually the "sweet spot" for recruiters) suggests that the issue isn't your talent, but likely a mechanical disconnect in how your applications are being processed or where you are finding them.
Here is a breakdown of why this might be happening and how to pivot your strategy.
1. The "Easy Apply" Trap
Applying to 15–20 jobs a day through LinkedIn or Job Boards often means your resume is entering an Applicant Tracking System (ATS) alongside 500+ other people.
The Issue: Many of these postings are "ghost jobs" or are so saturated that recruiters stop looking after the first 50 applicants.
The Fix: Focus on quality over quantity. Instead of 20 applications, aim for 5 high-quality "backdoor" entries. Find the hiring manager or a peer on LinkedIn at that company and send a brief, polite note: "Hi [Name], I just applied for the SWE role. With 5 years in [Your Stack], I’d love to ensure this reaches the right eyes. Happy to share my portfolio!"
2. Over-Optimization with AI
Using ChatGPT or Gemini is great for brainstorming, but if you use the raw output to "tailor" your resume, it can actually hurt you.
The Issue: AI often uses "corporate fluff" (e.g., "Passionate synergy-driven innovator"). Modern recruiters and even some AI-detection filters can find this robotic.
The Fix: Use AI to identify keywords you missed, but write the bullet points yourself. Ensure your resume leads with impact, not just responsibilities.
Bad: "Responsible for maintaining the backend API."
Good: "Optimized backend API latency by 30% by implementing Redis caching, affecting 1M+ daily users."
3. The "December Lull"
You mentioned applying for 124 jobs in December.
The Reality: December is notoriously the worst month for hiring. Budgets are closing, and decision-makers are on vacation. That one startup callback you got was likely because startups move faster than corporate machines.
The Good News: January and February are "Budget Opening" months. The work you do now is much more likely to yield results.
4. Diversify Your Sources
Since your one success came from a LinkedIn post rather than the job section, follow that signal.
Company Career Pages: Apply directly on the company website. These often get viewed before third-party board applications.
Niche Boards: If you are a Dev, use sites like Hacker News (Who's Hiring), Otta, or Wellfound (formerly AngelList). The signal-to-noise ratio is much better there.
Comparison of Strategies
| Strategy | Effort | Success Rate |
| Mass Applying (Current) | High Volume / Low Thought | Very Low |
| Networking/Referrals | Low Volume / High Effort | Very High |
| Direct Messaging Hiring Managers | Medium Volume / Medium Effort | High |
My Suggestions for Your Process
The 2-Day Rule: For the next week, stop applying to new jobs. Spend 2 days only reaching out to former colleagues or people in your network for coffee chats. Referrals bypass the "No Call" barrier 80% of the time.
Check your Resume Formatting: Ensure it is a simple, single-column PDF. Fancy designs often break ATS scanners, making you "invisible" to the system.
Portfolio/GitHub: Since you aren't getting calls, make sure your LinkedIn profile has a link to a project or a technical blog. Give them a reason to click "Contact" before they even see the resume.
I wish I'd listened to my parents.
I've realized that I want to work in the medical field in the middle of an aimless degree. All my high school friends are pre-meds, and I could've been in the same sphere if I wasn't so immature and afraid of a little competition.
In high school, I didn't see the value in building a career, I'd figured I'd just have to find meaning and fulfillment in something else, but with age I've realized life mostly has bad things to offer.
I regret everything about my life. I still have time to turn my life around and get into medicine, but I'm allergic to discipline, studying, and being rational even though I've always been miserable the way I am.
Now I have to live out decades of unfulfillment and regret while watching my friends become doctors, lawyers, engineers because my parents didn't beat me when I was 16.
Jobadvisor
I hear a lot of heavy self-reflection here, and I want to start by acknowledging how painful that "FOMO" can be when it’s mixed with regret. It sounds like you're carrying the weight of "what ifs" while feeling stuck in a personality you don't even like right now.
However, there is a massive contradiction in what you wrote: You say you have to live out decades of unfulfillment, yet you also acknowledged that you still have time to turn it around. The gap between those two points is where your "allergy" to discipline lives. Let’s look at this with some intellectual honesty and a bit of a path forward.
1. Challenging the "Beat Me" Narrative
It’s a common coping mechanism to wish someone had forced us into a path. But discipline that is forced from the outside usually collapses once the authority figure leaves.
The Reality: If you had been "beaten" into pre-med at 16, you likely would have burnt out or resented the field by 20.
The Shift: Real discipline isn't a personality trait you're born with; it’s a muscle you build when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. You are currently at that threshold.
2. The "Medical Field" is a Spectrum
When people say "medicine," they often only think of being a MD. If you feel you lack the "rationality" or "study habits" for an 8-to-12-year journey right now, don't write off the field entirely.
Clinical Roles: Nursing (RN), Physician Assistant (PA), or Physical Therapy. These are highly respected, competitive, and fulfill the desire to be in that "sphere."
Technical Roles: Diagnostic Imaging, Respiratory Therapy, or Surgical Tech. These often require 2-year specialized degrees and get you into the OR/ER much faster.
The "Middle Way": You can finish your current degree with the best grades possible while taking your med-school prerequisites (Biology, Organic Chemistry, etc.) as electives.
3. Dealing with the "Comparison Trap"
Watching your friends become doctors and engineers feels like a race you’ve already lost. But your 20s are not the finish line; they are the qualifying laps.
Different Timelines: Many of the best doctors didn't start med school until they were 27 or 30. They brought life experience and maturity that 22-year-olds lacked.
The Cost of "Easy": You mentioned life mostly has "bad things" to offer. If that's your worldview, then the "hard" path (studying) and the "easy" path (aimlessness) both lead to suffering. You might as well choose the suffering that comes with a paycheck and a purpose.
Audit Your "Allergies"
You mentioned being "allergic" to discipline and studying. Let’s break that down. Is it a lack of interest, or is it fear of failure? > People often claim they are "lazy" or "undisciplined" because if they actually try and still fail, it hurts more than if they never tried at all.
Potential Next Steps
If you want to stop feeling miserable, you need a data point that proves you can change. You don't need a 5-year plan yet; you need a 1-week plan.
Why does the same amount of effort feel easier for some people?
I've noticed this pattern across teams I've worked with and I'm curious how HR professionals think about it. Some coworkers seem to make steady progress with what looks like half the stress. They're not obviously more intelligent or more qualified…they just move through work more smoothly. Fewer friction points, less visible strain. They hit deadlines without seeming frantic, handle ambiguity without spiraling and generally seem... fine.
Meanwhile, others (sometimes me) are putting in similar hours and effort but experiencing more exhaustion, second-guessing, or feeling like we're constantly context-switching or fighting the work itself.
I don't think it's purely about experience, because I've seen junior people who seem naturally at ease and senior people who always look like they're grinding.
From an HR perspective, is this mostly about confidence and learning curve? Or is there something deeper going on around role fit, work structure, or how certain people match certain types of work?
Jobadvisor
What you’re observing is a phenomenon that HR professionals and organizational psychologists often call Cognitive Load or Occupational Flow. From a talent management perspective, the difference between someone "grinding" and someone "gliding" usually comes down to three specific factors: Work-Processing Styles, Executive Function, and Role Alignment.
It’s rarely about who is "smarter"—it’s about how much of their energy is being diverted into "friction" rather than "output."
1. The Friction Factor: Occupational Self-Efficacy
People who move smoothly often have high Occupational Self-Efficacy. This isn't just confidence; it’s the quiet internal belief that they have the specific tools to handle a task.
The "Glider": Sees a complex task and unconsciously breaks it into known sub-routines. They spend 5% of their energy on anxiety and 95% on execution.
The "Grinder": Sees the same task and spends 40% of their energy managing the fear of doing it wrong, second-guessing the starting point, or fighting the "ambiguity spiral."
2. Cognitive Load Theory
In HR, we look at how a role taxes a person's working memory. There are three types of "load" that determine how hard work feels:
Intrinsic Load: The inherent difficulty of the task (the same for everyone).
Extraneous Load: The "noise"—bad processes, interruptions, or internal self-doubt.
Germane Load: The mental energy used to actually learn and solve problems.
The people who seem "at ease" have usually found ways to eliminate Extraneous Load. They don't fight the work; they have a system (often invisible) that handles the "how," so they only have to focus on the "what."
3. Role Fit and "The Zone of Proximal Development"
Sometimes, the "effort gap" is a sign of misalignment. HR uses the Job Demands-Resources (JD-R) model to evaluate this:
| The Dimension | High Fit (The Glider) | Low Fit (The Grinder) |
| Cognitive Style | Their natural way of thinking matches the task (e.g., a linear thinker in accounting). | They have to "translate" their thoughts to fit the task (e.g., a creative thinker in accounting). |
| Regulation | High emotional regulation; they don't "attach" their identity to every draft. | High emotional labor; every critique feels like a personal failure. |
| Context Switching | They have a high "refractory period"—they can jump back into work quickly after an interruption. | Every interruption costs them 20 minutes of "re-loading" the task into their brain. |
4. The "Invisible" Skill: Meta-Work
The coworkers who seem to put in half the effort are often better at Meta-Work—the work about work. They clarify expectations early so they don't waste time on work that won't be used. They say "no" to low-impact tasks that cause mental clutter. They prioritize aggressively so they aren't paralyzed by a long to-do list.
Why you might be "fighting the work"
If you feel like you're constantly fighting the work, it’s often because your working style is in conflict with the environment. For example, if you are a "Deep Worker" in an environment that rewards "Rapid Response," you will constantly feel exhausted because your brain is being forced to operate in a mode that is biologically expensive for you.