Healthcare working being told I must be available for my unpaid lunch
I work in VA as a healthcare worker. We're being told by our HR that when we are the only person working (as happens on night shift and the weekend) we must clock out for lunch, but we are not able to leave and must be available in case the ER needs us. Up until recently, these shifts were not clocking out for lunch (they're slower shifts so you are able to eat and take breaks). So they want me to sit in the break room, clocked out, but still listen for the phone and samples. And we are not paid as being on-call either.
I have talked to the Department of Labor and it sounds like they're telling me the opposite, that if we can't leave, we must be paid. I'm just not sure whether I need to follow-up with the Dept of Labor again, or if our HR is correct.
Jobadvisor
Here’s how this generally works under U.S. federal law (the Fair Labor Standards Act or FLSA) — which applies to VA employees as well as most other hourly non-exempt workers — and what it means for your situation:
🔹 What Federal Law Says About Unpaid Lunch Breaks
1. There is no federal requirement that employers must provide lunch or rest breaks.
That is up to company policy or state law — but if breaks are given, FLSA governs whether the time must be paid. (DOL)
2. Short breaks (about 5–20 minutes) are always paid work time.
If your employer allows short breaks, that time must be counted as hours worked. (DOL)
3. A meal break (typically ~30 minutes or more) can be unpaid only if the employee is completely relieved of all work duties during that time.
Being “completely relieved” means:
You're free to leave your post,
You are not required to monitor phones/equipment,
You are not on standby to respond or perform work. (DOL)
If the employer requires you to remain available and respond to calls, samples, or anything else, you are not really relieved from duty — that time is work time and must be paid. (DOL)
The Dept. of Labor regulations specifically state:
“An employee is not relieved of duty and is working while eating if he is required to perform any duties, whether active or inactive.” (DOL)
4. On-call rules:
If you are required to stay on the premises and respond, that is generally considered work time, not an unpaid break (especially if you cannot use the time freely for your own purposes). (DOL)
🔹 How This Applies to Your VA Night/Weekend Shifts
Based on what you described:
You must stay on site,
You must be available to respond to work,
You are asked to clock out during lunch.
Under FLSA, that means you are still working during that time — you’re simply eating while on duty — so it should be counted as paid time, not an unpaid lunch. (DOL)
The Dept. of Labor rep you spoke with seems to support this interpretation; your HR’s claim that you can stay on the clock but not be paid for that time contradicts the federal rule that time spent available for work is work time.
🔹 What You Can Do Next
Here are steps others in similar situations have successfully taken:
1. Clarify your employer’s written lunch break policy
Look at your employee handbook or written policy. If the policy doesn’t allow you to be fully relieved of duties, that supports your case.
2. Ask HR in writing
Politely explain that under FLSA, time must be paid if you are not completely relieved of duties, and ask them to revise the policy or pay you for the lunch period.
3. Keep records
Track dates/times and instances when you were interrupted or on standby during unpaid lunch periods.
4. Follow up with the Department of Labor Wage and Hour Division
They can investigate and enforce if the employer is misclassifying time as unpaid when it should be paid. You can file a complaint if HR refuses to correct it.
5. Consider whether state law applies
Some states impose additional requirements; you should check if your state (e.g., Virginia) has stricter break laws than federal law.
🔹 Quick Summary
✅ If you’re truly completely relieved and can use lunch for your own purposes, it can be unpaid. (DOL)
❌ If you must stay on premise and respond to work, that break is not a real “meal period” under FLSA — it must be paid. (DOL)
So, in most cases, HR’s position is not supported by federal wage-hour law — and following up with the Dept. of Labor (or filing a wage complaint) is a reasonable next step.
Workplace sexual harassment?
I’m a female in my mid-twenties and have never had an experience like this before. My male worker has been making flirtatious remarks since I’ve started, but has progressed quite a bit. I never truly know how to respond, so it’s normally nervous laughter or just brushing the comments off up until recently.
About two weeks ago, he was waiting for a package to come in and to let him know when it arrives. I had ended up getting busy when it came in and have time to tell him, but he ended up coming into the room I was in. I let him know that it arrived and he asked how big it was. Using my hands, gave a description of how long it was and said “about this big.” A few minutes later he came up from behind me, then to the side to put in onto the table as if it was his penis and said, “it is a big package.” I laughed it off and went back to working.
About a few days later, I went to open the door for him to come in and he made a comment about “it took you long enough.” I said it didn’t take that long and he proceeded to tell me to smile, so I gave him a big beaming smile and as I turned around, dropped it which he saw. Later he came into the office saying he likes to joke around and have fun. With all that to say, I was on the phone with my sister at work talking about everything that happened outside of an office I share with another female co-worker. I’m more than sure she overheard and told over co-workers because for the past week I’ve been hearing comments when walking by our office, “she’s fucking lying.” “Shut your ugly ass up”, all of that coming from the male coworker.
So last Friday I pulled him aside to ask him what his problem was and he stated that it’s just people trying to delegate his job without ever doing it themselves. That was after he told me to hang up the phone with my sister, and wanted me to go outside to converse but I didn’t want to. He then went to sit down in my coworkers chair and said that I haven’t been friendly lately and giving him a “flirtatious smile” when opening the door for him. I told him I don’t like being told to smile while I was having a bad day.
Throughout the conversation with him, he noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring and mentioned it, which I ended up replying with it had gotten caught on a pallet once, and hurt so I wasn’t going to wear it. The conversation progressed into him saying stuff about some of the pants I’ve worn and about me having “assets and attributes” which didn’t click at first. I asked what pants he’s talking about (so I know not to wear them again but think he took it as flirting), and said it was my maroon colored ones along with the grey ones I wear. He then mentioned that him and the guys in the other room, have seen and spoken things about me and wouldn’t give me more information when I asked. Just after that, he spoke about not bringing this conversation to HR and how he’s never done any lewd gestures. Now they went waaaayyyy over my head until later that night.
The conversation went onto religion, asking if I believe in god I what not. I said no that I’m an atheist, but still respect all religions like the monks walking for peace and Muslims following Islam. He said so we can agree to disagree and still have mutual understanding and asked why I didn’t believe. Now with this topic and another I will mention, I’m very open and now regret ever giving information about it. But I said “why would god have let me get molested at such a young age if he was so good to his followers.”
He said okay and moved onto a different topic which, I now regret saying, about if I breastfed my son. It’s not something I’m shy about because it’s been my journey as a mom, so it doesn’t truly bother me but in a work setting it shouldn’t have been discussed, so I know I’m in the wrong for continuing that. I replied with “Yes, well not really because I couldn’t get him to latch right so I switched to pumping, which didn’t help my mental health.” He asked more about that and I replied honestly, saying I wouldn’t leave the house for the longest time because of the fear someone would kidnap my son or get in a car accident. Then he said if it was PPD, which yes it was PPD and PPA, it was debilitating. The conversation ended soon after and as he was walking out, he said if I ever split from my spouse that he would be available. That isn’t the first time he’s mentioned that.
Now with all that to say, this is something I’ve never experienced or even know how to handle because did I flirt with him? I generally try to avoid anything that can cause conflict so it’s hard for me to be honest and say “No, I would like for you to stop talking to me that way.” My spouse said I should have already reported him to HR, but he’s been with the company 15+ years. In my mind, that says that they wouldn’t believe me or something. What should I do? I am looking for other jobs but it’s so hard to want to go to work after the conversation Friday. What if he tries to manipulate me or the situation?
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you are going through this. First and foremost: What you are describing is a textbook example of a hostile work environment and sexual harassment.
It is completely normal to feel confused, to use "nervous laughter" as a defense mechanism, or to wonder if you accidentally "encouraged" it. Please hear this clearly: You did not cause this. Being polite, smiling, or answering a question about your life is not an invitation for sexual comments. His behavior—the "package" gesture, commenting on your body ("assets"), and the "available" comment—is predatory and unprofessional.
Breaking Down the Situation
The Power Dynamic: He has been there 15 years; you are in your 20s. He is using his seniority to make you feel like you have to "play along" to keep the peace.
The "Looming" HR Threat: The fact that he brought up not going to HR is a massive red flag. He knows his behavior is reportable and is trying to preemptively silence you.
The "Assets" and "Guys in the other room": This suggests a culture of harassment where your body is being discussed by multiple male coworkers. This is a serious liability for the company.
The Manipulation: When he told you that you were giving him a "flirtatious smile," he was gaslighting you. He is trying to shift the blame for his inappropriate thoughts onto your facial expressions.
Steps You Should Take Immediately
1. Start a "Paper Trail" (Documentation)
Do not rely on your memory. Start a log (keep this at home, not on a work computer). For every incident, record:
Date and Time.
Location (e.g., "outside the shared office").
Exactly what was said/done (use quotes where possible).
Who else was there (witnesses).
How it made you feel (uncomfortable, intimidated, fearful).
2. Set One Clear Boundary (Optional but Helpful)
If you feel safe doing so, send a brief, professional email or text to him so there is a written record of you asking him to stop.
"I want to clarify our conversation from Friday. I am not comfortable discussing my body, my past, or my relationship status. Moving forward, I would like to keep our interactions strictly professional and focused on work tasks."
3. Report to HR
Your husband is right. Even if he has been there 15 years, companies today are terrified of the legal ramifications of ignored sexual harassment.
Don't worry about being "liked": HR is there to protect the company from lawsuits. A 15-year employee harassing a new female employee is a massive risk to them.
The "Gossip" Factor: If your coworkers are already whispering that you are "lying," reporting it officially puts your version of events on the record before he can spin a fake narrative.
4. Protect Your Mental Health
You mentioned struggling with PPD/PPA in the past. Harassment is a major stressor that can trigger those feelings of anxiety again.
Continue your job search aggressively.
Limit your one-on-one time with him. If he asks to "go outside to converse," simply say, "I'm busy with a project and prefer to stay here."
Common Myths vs. Reality
| Myth | Reality |
| "I laughed, so I must have liked it." | Laughter is a common trauma/stress response to de-escalate danger. |
| "I talked about breastfeeding, so I opened the door." | Discussing a biological parenting journey is not an invitation for him to sexualize your body. |
| "He's been here 15 years; they'll pick him." | Longevity does not give someone a "harassment pass." If they fire you for reporting him, that is retaliation, which is illegal. |
No will or desire left
I'm almost 30 years old. Still living at home with my parents. Wasted their money on a useless business admin bachelors degree, at least I don't have any student debt. Working at a dead end help desk job, no movement in 3 years and other applications are all ignored or rejected. No desire or passion for anything, i rely on escapism for all my joy in life. Have good friends, been on multiple dates (No spark they always say). Don't see a point in continuing to suffer on like this. People always say it'll get better or a better job is right around the corner. At this point i've seen enough to say that's a blatant lie. I'm already seeing a therapist and on medication. Nothing works! Even if i had everything i wanted, I still don't see a point in meandering on. I need advice and I don't even know where to start. I just want it to end...
Jobadvisor
I hear the weight in your words, and I want to acknowledge how exhausting it is to feel like you’re running on a treadmill that’s going nowhere. When you’re in your late twenties and reality doesn't match the "script" you were given, the cognitive dissonance is physically painful.
Because you mentioned wanting it to "end," I want to lead with this: If you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself, please reach out to a crisis line (like 988 in the US) or go to the nearest ER. As a peer in this conversation, I want to pivot from the "it gets better" clichés—which feel like a slap in the face when you're drowning—to a more grounded perspective on where you are.
1. Deconstructing the "Waste"
You feel like you wasted your parents' money and your time. From a logical standpoint:
The Degree: A Business Admin degree is rarely "useless." It is a foundational credential that checks a box for 90% of corporate jobs. The fact that you don't have debt is a massive head start that millions of people your age would trade anything for. You aren't starting from zero; you're starting from a neutral baseline.
The Help Desk: Three years in help desk is the "trench" phase of IT. It’s soul-sucking, but it proves you have resilience and customer-facing skills. The lack of movement isn't a reflection of your worth; the job market right now is historically difficult for mid-level transitions.
2. The "Escapism" Trap
When life offers no "spark," your brain naturally seeks dopamine elsewhere (games, movies, etc.). This isn't a moral failing; it's a survival mechanism. However, escapism creates a feedback loop:
Real life feels dull.
You escape to feel something.
Real life feels even duller by comparison.
You lose the "will" because the "reward" in real life is too far away.
3. Shifting the Goalposts
You mentioned that even if you had "everything you wanted," you wouldn't see a point. That tells me you are looking for meaning, not just success.
Stop looking for "Passion": Passion is a high-pressure myth. Most people don't have it. Instead, look for utility. Who can you help? What small thing can you fix? Meaning often comes from being useful to others, not from personal achievement.
The "No Spark" Dates: If you aren't feeling a spark for life, you won't feel a spark for a person. It’s hard to project energy you don’t have. It’s okay to put dating on the back burner while you focus on your own stabilization.
Where to Start (The Bare Minimum)
Since "nothing works" right now, stop trying to fix the "big" things. Start with tiny, low-stakes adjustments:
Change the Scenery: If you work at a desk and escape at a desk, your brain never leaves "work mode." Physically move your body to a different environment for 30 minutes a day—no phone, no goals, just a different wall to look at.
Medical Re-evaluation: If your current meds and therapy aren't hitting the mark, tell your doctor explicitly. "I am on this medication and I still feel no will to live." Sometimes the dose or the type needs a radical shift (e.g., moving from an SSRI to something else).
Radical Acceptance: Stop fighting the fact that you live at home or have a "dead end" job. Say, "Okay, this is where I am today. It sucks, but it is the truth." Sometimes, stopping the internal war against your current reality saves enough energy to actually take one step forward.
Lost my job, don't know what to apply for now
I recently lost my job and don't know what to do now so I'm hoping someone will have some ideas. I have worked in accounting/bookkeeping for twenty years and am in my 40s. I don't have a degree, only a certificate in accounting.
I was a temp/consultant for the last few years, and I did a lot of different things as a consultant but I did ok because with every assignment I knew it was only for a short time, but then I tried to get a permanent job as a bookkeeper to get away from consulting and was bad at it. I was basically a full charge bookkeeper but the company was chaotic and I was really struggling to keep up. I was let go last week and now I need to find a job. I don't want to do accounting anymore because I'm just not good at and it gives me anxiety. I have applied for HR jobs but am not getting much of a response. I need a job soon and can't go back to school. Does anyone have any suggestions for a career pivot from accounting that I can do fairly quickly without going back to school? And also that would be good for someone who would prefer to focus on one area and not be in charge of too many different tasks? That's what keeps tripping me up.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry to hear about your job loss, but I want to validate your feelings: Twenty years of accounting experience is an incredible foundation. The anxiety you're feeling is likely "bookkeeper burnout"—the stress of managing an entire company's chaotic finances alone is very different from specialized roles where you can actually focus.
Since you want to pivot quickly, avoid general HR (which is hard to break into without a specific degree), and want a role where you can focus on one area, here are the most logical and effective paths for you.
1. Payroll Specialist / Administrator
This is the "gold standard" pivot for bookkeepers. It lives in the intersection of Accounting and HR, but it is not general bookkeeping.
Why it fits: You already know how to handle deductions, taxes, and software (QuickBooks/ADP). Unlike full-charge bookkeeping, you aren't managing the whole "mess"—you are just making sure people get paid accurately and on time.
The "One Area" focus: Your entire world revolves around the payroll cycle. Once the cycle is done, the task is complete.
How to pivot: Highlight "Payroll Administration" and "Regulatory Compliance" at the top of your resume. Many companies will hire you for your 20 years of experience over someone with an HR degree but zero practical tax knowledge.
2. Accounts Payable (AP) or Receivable (AR) Specialist
In a mid-to-large company, these are separate departments. You would no longer be the "Full Charge Bookkeeper" doing everything; you would be the specialist for one side of the ledger.
Why it fits: You’ve done this for 20 years, but doing it as a specialist in a large company is much quieter. You process invoices, cut checks, or follow up on payments. That’s it.
The "One Area" focus: No more bank recs, no more P&L statements, no more tax filings. Just the flow of cash in or out.
Search for: "Accounts Payable Coordinator" or "AR Specialist" at larger corporations or hospitals (where departments are siloed).
3. Benefits Coordinator / Administrator
If you want to lean further into HR, this is the most technical branch where your "numbers brain" is a massive asset.
Why it fits: It involves tracking insurance premiums, 401k contributions, and leave of absence (FMLA). It requires the same precision as bookkeeping but without the "anxiety of the trial balance."
The "One Area" focus: You become the expert on the company’s benefit plan.
How to pivot: Focus your resume on any experience you have with 401k reconciliations or health insurance deductions from your bookkeeping days.
4. Purchasing / Procurement Agent
If you enjoyed the "ordering and tracking" part of your assignments, this is a great non-accounting path.
Why it fits: You use your experience with vendors and budgets to manage the actual buying of supplies or services for a company.
The "One Area" focus: You are the gatekeeper for spending. You manage POs (Purchase Orders) and vendor relationships.
Resume Strategy: The "Translation" Shift
If you are applying for HR and not getting hits, your resume probably still looks like an Accountant's resume. You need to "translate" your skills:
| Instead of saying... | Say this for HR/Payroll... |
| "Managed full-cycle bookkeeping" | "Ensured 100% compliance with labor and tax regulations" |
| "Reconciled accounts" | "Maintained high-accuracy employee data and records" |
| "Handled vendor payments" | "Managed external partner and vendor relationships" |
A Quick Tip for Your Search
Look for "Intermediate" or "Senior" specialist roles. Your 20 years of experience makes you overqualified for "Entry Level," but you don't want "Manager" roles because that brings back the multi-tasking stress. Look for "Individual Contributor" roles where you are the "Subject Matter Expert."