Got attacked at work, still being made to come in tomorrow
So I got attacked at work today by a client. Spit in the face, kicked, hit, glasses grabbed off my face and snapped in pieces. After the incident, my team lead said "I'll take you off 2nd shift but you still need to work 1st" (I was "accidentally" scheduled for a double shift that I had NOT agreed to). So now I have glasses that are haphazardly taped together and I'm still being made to come in tomorrow to the same place that I just got attacked tonight. Fuck this job.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you went through that. What you’re describing isn’t just a "bad day at work"—it is a physical assault, and the way your leadership is handling it is incredibly dismissive. Being spat on and hit is degrading and traumatic, and expecting you to walk back into that environment less than 24 hours later with broken equipment is unacceptable.
It makes total sense that you’re feeling "fuck this job" right now. Your safety and well-being should be the priority, not the shift schedule.
While you’re processing this, here are some steps you should consider to protect yourself legally and professionally:
1. Document Everything Immediately
Write down a detailed timeline of the attack while it is fresh in your mind.
The Incident: Exactly what the client did and said.
The Damage: Take photos of your broken glasses and any bruises, scratches, or marks on your body.
The Response: Note exactly what your Team Lead said to you regarding the double shift and the "requirement" to come in tomorrow.
2. File a Formal Report
Do not let this stay as a verbal conversation with a Team Lead.
Incident Report: Fill out your company’s official workplace violence or incident report.
Police Report: Depending on your field (and if it’s safe/appropriate for your situation), you have the right to file a police report for assault. Physical battery and destruction of property (your glasses) are crimes.
Workers' Comp: In many places, an injury sustained at work (including psychological trauma or property damage like glasses) qualifies for a Workers' Compensation claim.
3. Address the "Mandatory" Shift
If you do not feel safe or mentally able to go in tomorrow, you have options:
Medical Leave: Go to an urgent care clinic or your primary doctor. Tell them you were assaulted at work and are experiencing high distress. They can provide a medical note excusing you from work for a few days for "mental health/trauma recovery."
HR Escalation: Contact HR directly. Tell them: "I was physically assaulted today. My prescription eyewear was destroyed, and I do not feel safe or capable of performing my duties tomorrow. I am taking tomorrow as a recovery day."
4. Reimbursement for Property
The company (or their insurance) should be responsible for the cost of your glasses. Since they were destroyed during a work-related assault, you should not have to pay out of pocket to replace them.
You deserve a workplace where your physical safety is guaranteed and your trauma is respected. If your leadership is more worried about "covering a shift" than your recovery from an assault, that is a massive red flag about the company culture.
First time preparing for termination, what to expect?
Been with my company 5 years. Last January my pay scale was lowered so that I am not eligible for any raise. Said it was readjusting my pay for the market in my area (I work remotely in tech in KY)We are currently going through 2nd complete reorg and I’m convinced this is part of it. We get quarterly and annual reviews and I’ve never had a bad one until now. First one in my life. Blindsided to say the least. Annual review was bad enough to put me on a 30 day PIP and it contradicts my good quarterly reviews. Goals I have to hit are completely unattainable and even arbitrary. I’m resigned to the fact I will be terminated. I’ve never been terminated and I’ve literally been sick about it. I can’t eat or sleep. It’s humiliating. For anyone that’s been terminated how do you handle it? I’m just so shocked by the whole situation.
As a 50+ female I am petrified I won’t be able to find work. I’m single so rely on my income to live. I keep reading how bad the job market is right now even for people like me with 20+ years experience. Am I just doomed?
Jobadvisor
It is completely understandable that you feel sick and blindsided. To be clear: What you are experiencing is a "silent layoff." When a company lowers your pay scale, gives you "contradictory" reviews, and places you on an unattainable 30-day PIP, they aren't managing your performance—they are managing their liability. They want to reduce headcount without paying severance or increasing their unemployment insurance premiums.
This is not a reflection of your 20+ years of talent; it is a cold, corporate financial maneuver. Here is what you can expect and how to protect yourself.
1. What the "Termination Day" Looks Like
Since you are remote, this will likely be a 10–15 minute Zoom or Teams call.
The Players: Your manager and an HR representative.
The Script: It will be short. They will say, "Today is your last day." They may cite the PIP, or they may simply say "the role is no longer a fit."
The Logistics: Your access to email, Slack, and internal systems will likely be cut off during or immediately after the call.
The Severance: They may offer a package in exchange for you signing a release saying you won't sue. Do not sign this on the call. You are legally entitled to take it home and review it (usually 21 days for employees over 40).
2. Immediate "Survival" Steps (Do these NOW)
Do not wait for the 30 days to end. Do these while you still have access:
Clear Your Personal Data: Remove personal files, photos, or logins from your work computer.
Gather Your Evidence: Save copies of your previous good quarterly reviews, emails of praise, and the PIP document. Send these to a personal email address. This is vital if you choose to dispute the termination or file for unemployment.
Note the Age Factor: You mentioned being 50+. If younger employees in your department with similar performance were not put on PIPs during this reorg, keep a record of that. It may be relevant for a "wrongful termination" or age discrimination consultation later.
3. Handling the "Humiliation"
There is a specific grief that comes with being a "high achiever" who gets hit with a PIP.
It’s Not You, It’s the Budget: Remind yourself that they lowered your pay scale a year ago. They have been trying to get you off the books for a while. This is a math problem for them, not a character judgment.
Control the Narrative: When you interview next, you don’t have to say "I was fired." You can say, "The company underwent its second major reorg in a year, and my role was eliminated as part of that restructuring."
4. The Job Market for 50+ in Tech
You are not doomed, but you do need a strategy. The "20+ years of experience" is a double-edged sword.
The "Overqualified" Trap: On your resume, you don't need to list every job since the 90s. Focus on the last 10–15 years to avoid age bias.
Your Network is Everything: Most tech roles for senior professionals are found through referrals, not "Easy Apply" buttons. Reach out to former colleagues now—before you are let go—and just say you’re "exploring new opportunities due to a company reorg."
5. Unemployment is Your Right
Because they put you on a PIP, they might try to contest your unemployment by claiming "misconduct." In most states (including Kentucky), failing to meet performance goals is not misconduct. You are entitled to those benefits. Apply the very hour you are terminated.
Please try to eat something small today. You are in "fight or flight" mode, but you need your brain sharp to navigate the next few weeks.
Marketing professional considering leaving the field: Stay as a marketer or switch to city planning?
Hi, I'm a 3-year Marketing professional with a bachelor's degree in public relations. 30 years old. I left my hometown and moved across the country (USA) to another state for a Marketing position as it was originally advertised that we come to the office some days. Despite being deemed the head of the program, the position was entry-level. I had no team or employees in my department. It was my only offer into marketing though, so I jumped on the opportunity. All I was able to get in my home state was retail jobs. About a month ago, I got a call from my boss saying WFH would no longer be authorized and I'm to return to the office 5 days a week. I happen to live 1.5 hours from my office as it's in a remote location. The job itself, I'd say, had lots of marketing components but I also doubled as a sponsorship acquisition pro and was pushed to always find new partners and revenue streams to make up for an inadequate budget to do the things we needed to. It was technically in government but as a non-appropriated funds organization which meant the dollars came from revenue the company made. I learned a lot as far as business relationship building and event planning goes, it was the kind of job where you have to do a little bit of everything but aren't quite allowed the time to really develop any deeper advancements due to workload. I have since interviewed for something in my town but the pay offer is going to determine whether it's worthwhile for me as the area is expensive, I really don’t want to take a pay cut even with the perk of working nearby. Plan B is return to my home state and live with my dad for a while, we both already agreed it was a good fallback. (so, I will be OK if I left this state and I'm grateful to have that option.) I am choosing to leave my current job for a few reasons, mainly that, two years was the plan and I’m on year three, there's no upward mobility for my pay or position, and I am homesick from living in a different state away from all my friends and family. For context, I took this job to build experience in a field closely related to my degree. I would say I learned quite a lot of real-world experience at the beginning and had a lot of fun doing so, despite the position being a bit more than I had anticipated and certainly some stressful moments. But for the past year, learning has tapered off significantly as the job becomes more rinse and repeat. I suspect my feeling of growth has quickly stagnated because I do not have an in-person superior or mentor when it comes to the Marketing department. It’s just me. I know that I'm likely not to get a raise since starting my position 3 years ago despite getting high performance reviews, so the conventional advice seems to agree that it's time to move on.
-The question is not about whether to leave my current job. I will be doing just that. however, I am not sure if Marketing as a career is for me anymore, or... what marketing even IS anymore. In university, I performed very highly in my exams and projects and found branding, media production, UX design, interviews, and trying to predict the market to be quite fun. However, my current Marketing job, while giving me access to social media, the website, and tons of directoral flexibility, seemed to be more like a fundraiser specialist position. I am wondering if this has muddled my understanding of the potential of this field. I feel strongly in my ability for communications for the good of the customer, but certainly did not like being reduced to a cold-caller asking for money…
What I did like was doing graphic design, environmental signage design, authoring procedure documents, event planning, and content creation for social media. A few factors, such as a lack of a team, unclear goals, and overlapping positions, may have distorted my understanding of marketing. Is it possible that I just didn't receive enough guidance and support and that soured my outlook of the career?
I don't like sitting at a desk all day, I would ideally do like a 50/50 or 70/30 split of being at a desk and travel or meetings, just something to unplug from the desk for a bit. My motivation to come to work is very closely connected to whether I think I'm making even the slightest value or difference in people's lives, which is what convinced me to move for my current job. I must admit that I have felt disillusioned with this organization lately. I don’t really believe we fulfill our company mission to our community as we say, which is no doubt impacting my motivation.
I have considered going back to school for an associate’s/bachelor’s in urban planning or architecture. When I was younger, I wanted to go for art or animation. I still kind of do. But, I want to be realistic and don't necessarily need my hobby to become my full-time job. On top of being creative, I know I am a deeply logical and organized thinker. Ultimately, I'm thinking I go into an office position in city government and work near the urban planning department to better understand what they really do. Urban planning itself has seen a small boom in popularity recently, which could be attributed to the interest of young adults becoming increasingly unsatisfied with the rising costs of goods, rent, recreational opportunities, and accessibility within their communities. I can understand that because the urban planning bug bit me as well. I find myself looking for buses and train systems locally and wherever I travel. Also, taking a sudden interest in bike paths and accessibility. I've heard a bit more about the realities of urban planning since my initial interest. I am aware that they are not actually the people who are making the decision of what to build and where, but it does seem like what they do is try to make sure that those decisions are data-driven to be more positive in impact versus catastrophic. To me, that seems to be important work since we are talking about the interconnectivity and support of real citizens lives. But even more so, that kind of planning, while taking forever, can have a lasting positive impact for even longer than it took to build. That is how I am seeing planning right now, something that is initially a thankless civil service but can be a great positive impact later on. That doesn't sound so bad to me, at least there's a vision to work towards.
I spoke with some of the urban planners in my local area and was told that 10+ years of education in planning isn't always necessary depending on where you are applying. But there is the component of starting over and working towards a new career that's keeping me unsure. I think I want to know if there's going to be a breakthrough moment with marketing for some stability and if it's worth pushing forward to get into a role that really lets me sharpen my tools and interests. -Or if I need to just get out while I'm ahead and re-think what I want to do as my day job.
Any Marketers reading this? Does it get better over time?
Urban planners? Want to scare me away for my own good? Thoughts?
I'm a 30-year-old marketing professional with 3 years of experience, questioning if marketing is the right fit for me. My current role feels more like fundraising than true marketing, lacking mentorship, growth, and team support. I enjoyed tasks like graphic design, event planning, and content creation. I'm considering a career shift to urban planning or a city government role, drawn by the potential for lasting community impact. I'm debating whether to stick with marketing to find a more fulfilling role or start fresh in a new field. Seeking insights from marketers, urban planners, and anyone else who feels they’ve achieved career satisfaction about their experiences.
Jobadvisor
You are not actually deciding between “marketing” and “urban planning.”
You are deciding between two different types of work identity:
Commercial persuasion work vs
Civic systems work
Your current job distorted marketing, but it also revealed something important about you.
1. What actually went wrong in your marketing job
You were not doing marketing in a modern, healthy sense. You were doing:
Revenue recovery
Partnership sales
Sponsorship procurement
Budget gap plugging
That is development/fundraising, not marketing.
You were placed in a structurally broken role:
One-person department
No senior marketer
No brand strategy
No funnel ownership
No budget authority
Performance judged by revenue instead of customer outcomes
That combination guarantees burnout and identity collapse. It teaches you:
“My job is to beg for money for something I don’t control.”
That poisons motivation for someone who cares about meaning.
So yes — your outlook was soured by lack of mentorship, lack of team, and misclassification of the role.
But that does not mean marketing is the wrong field for you.
2. What your likes/dislikes really tell us
You said you liked:
Graphic design
Environmental signage
Procedure documents
Event planning
Social content
UX, branding, predicting markets
You hated:
Cold outreach
Revenue chasing
Being measured by money instead of impact
Sitting alone without direction
That profile is not “generic marketer.”
That profile is:
Communications + experience design + public-facing systems
Those are the same instincts that draw people to:
Urban planning
Transit design
Wayfinding
Public engagement
Community development
Service design
You want to design how people move through systems, not sell them things.
3. Marketing does get better — but only in certain environments
Marketing becomes fulfilling when:
You own a brand or product
You are part of a cross-functional team
You are judged on customer outcomes
You are doing research, UX, messaging, and creative
It becomes hell when:
You are a solo operator
You report to non-marketers
You are treated like a revenue patch
You have no funnel control
You accidentally landed in the worst possible marketing environment.
That does not mean better environments are guaranteed — but they do exist.
4. Urban planning is not a fantasy — but it is slow and constrained
Your read on planning is correct:
Planners do not “decide”
They analyze, model, recommend, and mediate
Politics, budgets, and developers ultimately control outcomes
But here’s what planners do have:
Long-term impact
Visible, physical results
Public purpose
Professional legitimacy
And critically:
You get to work on systems that affect everyone, not just customers.
That matches your values.
However, planning is:
Bureaucratic
Slow
Politically frustrating
Often underpaid compared to private sector work
If you need novelty, fast feedback, or autonomy, planning can feel suffocating.
5. You do NOT need to choose right now
Your smartest move is exactly what you already suggested:
Take a city or county job adjacent to planning.
Look for:
Public information officer
Communications specialist
Community engagement coordinator
Economic development assistant
Transportation outreach
Parks & recreation communications
These roles let you:
Use your current skills
Work with planners
Learn the field from inside
Avoid going back to school prematurely
This de-risks the career change.
If after 12–18 months you still feel pulled toward planning, then you invest in education.
6. Should you abandon marketing now?
No — but you should abandon commercial marketing.
Your profile fits:
Public sector communications
Civic engagement
UX/service design
Transportation, housing, sustainability
Nonprofit or government environments
You do not belong in:
Growth marketing
Sales-driven teams
Ad agencies
Revenue-first organizations
You are not a persuader.
You are a systems communicator.
Bottom line
You are not burnt out on marketing.
You are burnt out on being used as a revenue instrument.
Urban planning appeals to you because it aligns with:
Meaning
Systems
Public good
Long-term impact
That instinct is sound.
Do not jump straight into a new degree.
Step sideways into government communications or community engagement and let reality confirm the direction.
That path preserves your income, your résumé, and your optionality — while moving you toward the kind of work that actually motivates you.
Has anyone here ever experienced severe burnout and recovered?
Hi, I’m a 29 year old Software Engineer with 7 years of experience. I currently make 180k working fully remotely at a job that I’ve previously liked, where I’m good at my job, and my WLB is usually pretty decent. Even so, I’ve slowly developed some serious burnout, and over the last 6 months have been having real doubts over whether I’m going to be able to keep this up for the rest of my career. One of my main concerns is that I feel like what I’m doing has no meaning, and is completely divorced from passion and interests that I’ve developed over the course of my adult life.
I recently got reached out to by a company whose mission I align with more and was ready to accept, even though it’s full time and I dread going back into an office. I have the offer letter waiting for me, but am realizing that doing the same thing I’m doing now but in an office isn’t going to address my underlying issues, and is likely to make me even more unhappy. I don’t want to take it and am worried I’ll be more miserable there, but the thought of doing my day to day tasks at my current job is also nearly intolerable to me at the moment. I wish I didn’t have to look at another Jira ticket for the rest of my life.
Not sure how to come back from this, or whether I’ll be able to do this for 30 more years. I’m considering a career change but I know that nothing else out there will be as relaxed as what I have now. Nearly all of my non tech friends are struggling to get by.
I have the savings for a long break, but am worried about being able to find a job afterwards in this market.
Have any other senior engineers here felt this way and recovered? Has anyone with more experience than me made a career pivot or even just taken a sabbatical? How did that work out for you?
Jobadvisor
It is incredibly common for high-earning engineers to hit this "meaning wall" around the 7-10 year mark. You’ve mastered the stack, the paycheck is great, but the Jira tickets start feeling like digital manual labor. You are essentially "rusting out" rather than burning out—suffering from a lack of purpose combined with the isolation of remote work.
Here is a reality check from someone who sees this often: Do not take that office job. You already know it’s a "band-aid" solution that adds a commute to your existing exhaustion.
1. The Sabbatical: Risk vs. Reward
You mentioned having the savings. In the tech world, a "Strategic Sabbatical" (3–6 months) is often the only way to reset a nervous system that has been "on" for 7 years.
The Risk: The market is tougher than it was in 2021.
1 Gaps are scrutinized more.The Mitigation: Don't call it "unemployed." Call it a "planned career sabbatical for independent research/upskilling" or "personal project development."
The Recovery: Most engineers find that after 2 months of zero screens, the "itch" to build things actually returns. Burnout kills your curiosity; a sabbatical lets it grow back.
2. The "Job Crafting" Alternative
Before you quit, try to "quietly pivot" within your current, relaxed role. Since your WLB is good, use that extra capacity to:
Mentor: If the code feels meaningless, the people might not. Helping juniors can provide the "human" meaning you’re missing.
Internal Transfer: Is there a team at your current company working on something closer to your passions (e.g., security, UX, accessibility, or sustainability)?
The 80/20 Rule: Do the bare minimum to keep your $180k (the "80") and use the saved mental energy to pursue a passion project or volunteer work that does feel meaningful (the "20").
3. Career Pivot vs. Industry Pivot
You don't necessarily need to stop being an engineer, but you might need to stop being a Software Engineer for a standard tech firm.
Tech-Adjacent: Move into Solutions Architecture, Developer Relations (DevRel), or Technical Product Management. These roles are more about people and strategy than moving tickets.
Mission-Driven Tech: Instead of an office-based corporate job, look for "Public Interest Tech" or "Climate Tech" startups that are remote-first.
4. Addressing the "30 More Years" Panic
No one does the same thing for 40 years anymore. Your career will likely have 3 or 4 "acts." You are finishing Act 1.
Act 1: Learning and earning (where you are now).
Act 2: Mastery and influence (leading, architecting).
Act 3: Giving back or pivoting (teaching, consulting, or a new field).
Comparison Table: Your Current Options
| Option | Pros | Cons |
| Stay & "Quietly Pivot" | Financial security; low stress. | Risk of deepening depression/apathy. |
| New Office Job | New mission; social interaction. | Commute; likely higher stress; "same shit, different desk." |
| Sabbatical | Immediate mental health recovery. | Gap on resume; financial "burn." |
| Career Change | Potential for true passion. | Likely 50%–70% pay cut; starting over. |
A suggestion for your next move: Since you have the offer in hand, you have immense leverage. Could you go to your current manager and say, "I've realized I'm hitting a wall and need a month or two of unpaid leave to recharge so I can come back at 100%"?
The worst they can say is no—and you were already thinking about leaving anyway.