As you rise in your career, your ability to influence the people around you becomes one of your most valuable leadership assets. Yet it’s rarely taught in business school or covered in onboarding. Instead, most leaders learn how to influence others the hard way — through experience, setbacks and a lot of trial and error.
As an executive coach, I’m often asked: “How do I become more influential? Is there a trick to getting people to like me at work?” While there’s no magic shortcut, there are proven strategies that make leaders more effective — and common habits that unintentionally limit their impact.
Below are three of the biggest pitfalls I see, along with practical ways to overcome them.
1. Talking Too Much
One of the quickest ways to weaken your influence is by dominating conversations. Even with the best intentions, talking too much can shut down creativity and discourage others from stepping up.
I once coached a senior executive who weighed in on every topic during every meeting. She believed she was providing strategic clarity — but her team felt micromanaged and dismissed. She had hired strong leaders, but wasn’t giving them the space to lead.
Together, we implemented two simple shifts:
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Silent Meetings: She attended an entire leadership meeting without speaking. It felt uncomfortable at first, but her team quickly filled the silence with smart insights and solutions she didn’t expect.
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Ask More, Tell Less: Instead of launching into explanations, she began asking thoughtful questions. This repositioned her from “expert in the room” to “leader who empowers others.”
The result? Her team became more confident, more creative and more aligned — and her influence grew naturally.
2. Not Listening Deeply
Leaders who talk a lot often struggle to listen. But influence depends on trust, and trust depends on people feeling heard.
A few simple techniques can transform your listening skills:
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Take Notes: Jot down key points while others speak. Then repeat back what you heard. You’ll be surprised at how often your interpretation differs.
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Stop Preparing Your Response: Instead of crafting your next comment, focus on the speaker’s words and emotions. A simple reflection like, “It sounds like that was frustrating for you,” can go a long way.
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Pause Before You Respond: One client found that taking a single deep breath before speaking helped her slow down and listen more intentionally. The silence encouraged her colleagues to share more — and that new information improved her decision-making.
Listening isn’t passive; it’s one of the most active leadership skills you can practice.
3. Limiting Influence to Formal Settings
Many leaders assume influence only happens in conference rooms or structured meetings. In reality, influence is built everywhere — in hallways, over email, on Slack and in casual check-ins.
One client struggled to gain support for a major initiative. Her work was excellent, but she lacked meaningful relationships with her peers. They trusted her output, but not her intentions.
To change that, she began intentionally engaging colleagues in short, informal conversations. As a task-oriented person, she even tracked her interactions in a simple spreadsheet until the habit stuck. Over time, she built genuine rapport, and her peers began voicing their support for her projects in meetings. Soon, she no longer needed the spreadsheet — the relationships felt natural.
Influence isn’t innate. It’s something you build through practice, awareness and consistent effort. Start with one small shift — talk less, listen more or invest in informal relationship-building. As you do, you’ll notice your confidence grow, your connections deepen and your leadership impact expand.
Keep going. You’re on the right track.