Decline job offer because of the PTO?
I'm currently a 33 year old custodian at a community college, I make about 35k a year, before OT. I love working where I do because of my time off, for context we get 21 vacation days (that you can roll over), 15 paid holidays, holiday and workers compensation too. My partner and I love to travel so it's been perfect.
However I've hit a wall, I have little skills and little pay so Ive been job searching.
I received an offer at another school disctrict as a Head Stores Clerk for the warehouse. The salary is 41k, and then will increase to about 45k because the contract is up and theyre negotiating a pay raise. If I choose this job it has what im looking for... a decent pay jump and I can learn more skills. This is a manager role so the stress will be more than what I have as a cleaner.
But the time off is atrocious, especially in comparison of what I get now. After a full year you get two weeks vacation, and 4 personal days. From my understanding those days do not roll over, I have to use them or lose them.
Since getting the offer ive been torn, I would like more money and gain skills, but the cost of losing my time off has been causing me a lot of stress. I work to not have to work. Is it worth declining the offer? I won't get this opportunity again. I doubt I can negotiate for more time because its a union job.
Jobadvisor
This is a classic "Quality of Life vs. Career Growth" dilemma. You are essentially weighing a $6,000–$10,000 raise against three weeks of lost freedom.
When you are a person who "works to not have to work," time is your primary currency. Here is a breakdown to help you decide if this specific trade-off is worth it.
1. The "Hourly Rate" Reality Check
While $41k sounds better than $35k, let's look at the actual value of your time.
Current Job: You have 36+ days off (21 vacation + 15 holidays). That is over 7 weeks of paid time where you aren't working.
New Job: You have 14 days off (10 vacation + 4 personal). That is less than 3 weeks.
You are gaining roughly $500 a month in take-home pay, but you are giving up 22 days of life outside of work. If you divide that $6,000 raise by the extra days you'll be forced to work, the "extra" money might feel less significant than it looks on paper.
2. The "Skills" Argument
You mentioned you’ve "hit a wall" and have "little skills." This is the strongest argument for taking the job.
Custodian: Generally seen as a terminal role (unless you move into facilities management).
Head Stores Clerk: This is logistics, inventory management, and personnel supervision.
Taking this job isn't just about the $41k; it’s about the resume bridge. Two years as a Head Stores Clerk makes you eligible for warehouse manager or logistics roles at private companies that might pay $60k+ and offer better benefits. Is two years of "travel-lite" living worth a lifetime of higher earning potential?
3. The Union Factor
You mentioned it's a union job, so negotiation is tough. However, don't assume it's impossible. * Check the "Step" system: Sometimes they can't give you more days, but they can start you at a higher "Step" for vacation based on your years of service at the community college.
Ask if "Service Credit" transfers: Since you are moving from a community college to a school district, they are both educational entities. Sometimes you can carry over your "years of service" which might vest you into a higher vacation bracket immediately.
4. The Stress Component
Moving from a physical cleaning role to a "Head" role means people will be reporting to you. You will be responsible for mistakes made by others, inventory shortages, and deadlines. If you truly "work to not have to work," the mental carry-over of a management role might bleed into your 14 days of vacation, making them feel even shorter.
Questions to Ask Yourself
To get to the heart of your decision, try to answer these three questions honestly:
Can we still afford our lifestyle? If your partner's income plus your $35k is enough to travel comfortably now, the extra $500/month might not change your life as much as the loss of 3 weeks of travel will hurt it.
Is there a middle ground? Are there other certifications (like HVAC, Electrical, or CDL) you could get while staying in your current "cushy" role that would lead to a pay jump elsewhere later?
What is the "burnout" risk? If you go from 36 days off to 14, will you be miserable in six months? A miserable manager is rarely a successful one.
The Verdict
Decline the offer if: Your primary identity and happiness come from the trips you take and the freedom you have. $6k is rarely enough to compensate for the loss of a "dream" schedule.
Take the job if: You are feeling a sense of shame or "stuckness" regarding your career path. If you want to be a manager or earn $70k in five years, you likely have to pay your "dues" with a worse schedule for a year or two.
How do I handle being excluded and ignored at a very small office?
I work in a very small office (7 employees), and the owner is also my direct boss. I’ve known him since 2012. I left the company twice due to ownership changes and financial reasons, and I recently returned this year after being away for four years.
Since coming back, my coworkers have been openly excluding me. They ignore me, don’t speak to me unless necessary, and leave me out of everything. For example:
• During Secret Santa, I clearly wrote that I dislike the color pink, and they gave me all pink items.
• They organized an “ugly sweater” day and didn’t tell me.
• They gave all the women hair pins except me.
• Even the owner’s son treats me the same way.
This has been happening since April, and it’s emotionally exhausting to spend eight hours a day in silence around people who act like I don’t exist. I tried speaking to one coworker, but she had an attitude and dismissed me.
I told my boss, and he said to “ignore them,” but that’s not realistic in such a small office. I feel he should address this as a leader, but he refuses to hold a meeting or intervene.
I’m 44 years old, and this behavior feels disrespectful and childish. I’m reaching the point where I feel like I might explode from frustration, but I want to handle this professionally.
My questions:
What steps can I take when the entire office is excluding me?
Should I push my boss to address this formally?
Is this considered a hostile work environment, or just immaturity?
At what point should I consider leaving?
Any advice from HR professionals or people who’ve dealt with similar situations would be appreciated.
Jobadvisor
I am so sorry you are going through this. At 44, being subjected to "Mean Girl" (or "Mean Office") tactics feels especially jarring because you expect a level of professional maturity that simply isn't there.
What you are describing is Social Ostracism. In a 7-person office, this isn't just "immaturity"—it is a functional breakdown of the workplace. Because you have returned after a four-year gap, there may be an unspoken "outsider" resentment or a "clique" that formed in your absence.
Here is a breakdown of how to handle this professionally while protecting your mental health.
1. Is this a "Hostile Work Environment"?
Legally speaking, usually no. In most jurisdictions, a "Hostile Work Environment" has a specific legal definition: harassment based on a protected characteristic (race, age, gender, religion, etc.).
If they are being "jerks" because they simply don't like you or because you are the "new/old person," it’s generally classified as incivility or bullying, which is not illegal, but it is poor management. However, if the owner’s son is involved, it signals that this behavior is "sanctioned" from the top down.
2. Should you push your boss?
You have already told him, and his response was to "ignore them." This tells you two things:
He is a conflict-avoidant leader. He cares more about his own comfort than the office culture.
He lacks the tools to fix it. Even if he held a meeting and "forced" them to be nice, it might result in even more passive-aggressive behavior (e.g., "See? We're talking to you now, are you happy?").
The Pivot: Instead of asking him to "fix their behavior," ask him to clarify your role. > "Since the team is currently operating as a closed group, I find it difficult to get the information I need to do my job effectively. If you won't hold a team meeting, how do you suggest I handle the lack of communication that is impacting my output?"
3. Tactical Steps to Take
If you aren't ready to quit today, you need to change your "energy" to protect yourself:
The "Gray Rock" Method: Become as uninteresting as a gray rock. Do not show them that the pink gifts or the sweaters upset you. When you react, you give them "points" in their game. Give them nothing but polite, boring professionalism.
Document Everything: Keep a private log (not on a work computer). Dec 10: Ugly sweater day, not informed. Dec 12: Distributed gifts to all staff except me. This is your insurance in case they try to fire you or claim you are the one being difficult.
Build Your "Outside" Life: Since you spend 8 hours in a vacuum, you must over-invest in your partner, friends, and hobbies after 5:00 PM. Treat this job as a vending machine: you show up, perform a task, and it gives you money. Do not look to it for social validation.
4. When to Leave?
You should start looking for a new job immediately. In an office of 7 people, culture is everything. If the owner (the leader) and his son (the heir) are both participating in or ignoring the exclusion, it will not get better. You cannot "win" against an entire family and their hand-picked staff.
You mentioned in your previous message that you were looking for more pay and new skills. This toxic environment is actually the "push" you need to go find that warehouse management role or a larger office where HR departments exist to prevent exactly this kind of behavior.
Summary Table: Action Plan
| Situation | Your Response |
| They ignore you | Respond with "Good morning" and "Goodnight" regardless. Stay the bigger person. |
| They exclude you | Use the time to listen to podcasts/audiobooks (if allowed) or focus on upskilling. |
| The Boss | Stop asking him to make them "nice." Start asking him for clear, written work instructions. |
| The Future | Update your resume today. You are too experienced to be bullied by a small-town clique. |