So your adult kid is back. Remember when you finally got them out of the house and thought you could reclaim your space? Yeah, that was nice while it lasted. But here they are, sleeping in their old bedroom again—and you're definitely not alone in this. Nearly half of parents (46%) have had their grown children move back home at some point, according to Thrivent's latest survey.
Why This Is Happening
Let's be real—it's not because they're "failing at life." The world is just outrageously expensive right now. About a third of parents say sky-high housing costs are the main reason their kids are back, while 20% say it's because of a divorce or breakup. Bloomberg found most young adults are doing it to save money, help care for aging family members, or because they simply can't afford to live on their own anymore.
The good news? The shame around this is practically gone. If you're actually okay (or even kinda happy) about having them back, you're in the majority—74% of parents feel the same way, Pew Research shows.
Have the Awkward Talk (You'll Thank Yourself Later)
First up: you need to communicate. Actually sit down and figure out if this is temporary or maybe a longer-term arrangement. Set a timeline—maybe six months, maybe until they land a better-paying job or save enough for a down payment.
And here's the key: write it down. I know, it feels weirdly formal, but it prevents so many headaches. Not a "curfew" situation—they're adults, not teenagers—but maybe "quiet hours" when you're trying to sleep. Spell out chores, whether they'll help with stuff like driving you to appointments, and definitely nail down the money stuff.
How much are they kicking in for groceries, utilities, or rent? Get specific. No assumptions, no resentments later.
Don't Let Them Treat Your Place Like a Free Hotel
If money problems brought them home, this is your perfect chance to teach some real financial skills. Help them set goals, create an actual budget, and stick to it—while still holding them to whatever household contributions you agreed on.
Financial advisor Boone Jackson puts it well: don't just enable them with a "free ride." Be their mentor, not their ATM. Teach them how to build their own wealth instead of just coasting.
Protect Your Own Future First
Here's the tough part: 36% of parents who helped their adult kids financially said it hurt their own money situation. That's more than one in three. Ouch.
You have to put your retirement first—it's not selfish, it's survival. Track what their stay actually costs you (those grocery and utility bills add up fast). Use that info to adjust your agreement if needed.
Once they move out again, you might need to play some serious catch-up. If you're still working, max out your 401(k) or boost other retirement savings. Over 50? Don't forget those catch-up contributions.
It's Not All Bad, Though
Honestly, multigenerational living has its perks—better health, more help as you age, and tighter family bonds. Generations United has great resources if you're making this work long-term.
This is super common now. If you're stressed about the financial impact, talk to a financial planner to see how it's affecting your retirement plans. And maybe chat with an accountant about any tax implications if you're gifting or loaning them money.
Handle this smart, and your nest egg will stay intact. Plus, you know—at least you're not eating dinner alone, right?