Teams Messages

 


Teams Messages 

Alrighty let’s hear some opinions. My ex worker who I became friends with was terminated and is suing the company. Since we were cool and to my mistake we would chat about all kinds of shit in teams. My coworker is suing for harassment and discrimination. I was recently called into HR where I was presented with a final warning for severe misconduct because of the messages they found of him and I in teams although we’re friends and in no time did I harass him or otherwise, it was mutual. Is it legal and okay that I am being presented with a final warning although the investigation into sexual harassment does not involve me? Or am I collateral damage for using certain verbage with him such as calling each other a bitch, hoe etc in teams. How much of this is legal and is a final warning adequate in this situation?


Jobadvisor


This is a complex situation that touches on employment law, company policy, and the boundaries of workplace communication. I cannot provide legal advice, but I can offer a breakdown of the general principles at play regarding your situation.


⚖️ Legal and HR Considerations

1. Workplace Communication Policy

Most companies have policies regarding appropriate workplace conduct and communication, even between friends.

  • Company Property: Messages sent through a company platform like Teams, even personal ones, are generally considered company property. Your employer typically has the legal right to monitor, review, and use these communications as part of an investigation or for policy enforcement.1

  • Verbicide/Vulgar Language: Using terms like "bitch," "hoe," or other explicit/vulgar language, even in a joking or mutual context with a friend, can be a direct violation of a company's code of conduct or anti-harassment policy. These policies often prohibit language that could be considered offensive, unprofessional, or potentially harassing, regardless of the user's intent or the mutual nature of the exchange.

2. Collateral Damage vs. Policy Violation

While you feel you are "collateral damage" in your friend's lawsuit, your employer likely views this as a separate violation of company policy uncovered during the investigation.

  • The Sexual Harassment Investigation: The investigation into your ex-coworker's claim established that the company needed to review their communications. During that review, they found messages from you that they determined violated their conduct rules.

  • The Misconduct Warning: The "severe misconduct" warning is likely based on the content of your messages, not on you harassing the employee. Your employer is taking disciplinary action because you used inappropriate language on their communication platform, which they can argue creates a hostile or unprofessional environment. The key is the violation of the policy, not the intent of the conversation.

3. Legality of the Final Warning

The question of whether the final warning is "legal and adequate" depends on:

  • "At-Will" Employment (where applicable): In many jurisdictions (especially the U.S.), employment is "at-will."2 This means an employer can generally discipline or terminate an employee for almost any reason, provided it's not an illegal reason (e.g., discrimination based on a protected characteristic). Violating a conduct policy is a legally permissible reason for discipline.

  • Company Precedent and Policy: If the company's established policies state that using such language constitutes "severe misconduct," and if they have applied similar discipline to other employees in the past, then the final warning is likely within their rights. A final warning is often an intermediate step before termination, signaling that the conduct is serious.3


✅ Steps You Can Take

  1. Review the Final Warning and Policy:

    • Get Copies: Ask for a written copy of the final warning and the specific company policies (Code of Conduct, Anti-Harassment, Electronic Communications) that you allegedly violated.

    • Understand the Charge: Clarify exactly which policy clause the company believes your messages breached.

  2. Formal Response/Appeal (If possible):

    • If your company has a formal internal process for appealing disciplinary action (e.g., a grievance procedure), consider using it.

    • In your appeal, you could respectfully acknowledge that you used unprofessional language but argue that:

      • The language was mutual and reciprocal between two consenting adults who were friends.

      • It was not intended to harass or discriminate.

      • The discipline (a final warning) might be excessive compared to the nature of the offense and any prior disciplinary history you may have.

  3. Consult with an Employment Attorney:

    • This is the most crucial step for a definitive answer. An attorney licensed in your location can review the warning, the company's policies, and your employment status to determine if you have any legal recourse.


The bottom line is that the company is likely within its rights to discipline you for violating its code of conduct by using unprofessional/vulgar language on its platform, regardless of your intent or the status of your friend's lawsuit.

Would you like me to search for general information about "at-will employment" in your jurisdiction (assuming Canada, based on the [CA] tag) to better understand the legal framework?


30, never had a job, live in the same room with parents


This is feel better about yourself in comparison spam post since there's no path but I like free anonymous attention.

Stats:

A/S/L: 30/Male/NYC. Not white and ESL.
Education: undergrad degree in philosophy lel
Parents: broke, works minimum wage.

Started applying to stuff after finishing college.

Recently got disqualified from trying to sell myself to army for some random medical reasons.

No known mental/physical illness. No criminal history. Never used any drugs or drunk alcohol and avoid coffee.

Though need to wear eyeglasses which got me disqualified from trying to join as NY state correction officer after they had a shortage of people.

I get out of breath if I need to talk a bit and my pronunciations of words are all fucked, so half the minimum wage with their "excellent communication skills" disqualifies me. I apply to everything on indeed dot com that I qualify for that are not clearly unethical.

I got "hired" 3 times. Once time was a scam online job that was trying to steal my non-existent money in bank eventually. The other was a grocery picker job from amazon thing that they used AI to hire and then after bunch of paperworks were told they already filled the position. The third one was cleaning job that the day before I have to show up said the job was 'cancelled by client'.

I was interviewed one time. TJMax in upper Manhattan where the interviewer was busy or something so someone else wrote down my response to hand over. Oh another one called on phone for grocery packer, asked "what does customer service mean to you" and after my answer "we'll let you know".

Joblessness is technically not involuntary, there were 3 instance of people trying to get me in through with connection after seeing my parents going insane which I avoided since seems like stealing other people's job who wasted time applying.

I do have a driver's license mother made me get but I really shouldn't, I was saved by one point and it was a long time ago and probably forgot how to drive by now. Driving is surprisingly a very social activity and I fuck up everything social. Definitely don't have a car or bike to do anything with.

If you made this far of this boring story, lemme know if you noticed anything I might've missed worth trying.


Jobadvisor

Thank you for writing all this out. You’re not “boring,” you're describing a stuck situation with a lot of frustration layered on top — and also some strengths you don’t give yourself credit for. I’ll go through what you shared and reflect back a few things you may have missed, plus clear, concrete next steps that don’t require connections, perfect communication skills, or money.

I’ll avoid platitudes and keep it practical.


🌟 First: Things you’re underestimating

1. You actually have resilience.

Most people would have quit after:

  • multiple job rejections,

  • two disqualifications,

  • a scam experience,

  • a bait-and-switch Amazon hire,

  • a canceled shift,

  • and parents losing it in the background.

But you’re still applying. That’s not nothing.

2. You already have the hardest part done: you’re willing to do ANY ethical work.

Many people limit themselves. You’re open to manual labor, customer-adjacent work, cleaning, etc. That massively widens the possible paths.

3. You have no deal-breaking barriers.

Your issues (communication strain, accent, breathlessness talking, limited driving confidence) matter, but they don’t block everything. They mostly block customer-facing fast-paced jobs. There are many non-customer jobs that don’t care about any of that.

4. You’re misunderstanding the “connections” thing.

Taking a job that someone referred you to is not stealing someone’s job. That’s how most people get employed. It’s not unethical — it’s normal and expected.


🧭 Second: Practical Paths You May Have Missed

I’ll focus on low-talking, ESL-friendly, high-demand, NYC-relevant, entry-level roles.

1. Logistics & Warehouse (NYC has many)

These jobs don’t require:

  • strong verbal skills,

  • customer service,

  • perfect eyesight (just corrected vision).

Try:

  • UPS package handler (night shifts always hiring)

  • FedEx ground handler

  • USPS mail processing assistant

  • DHL warehouse

  • Local warehouse stocking (non-retail)

These are physical but require almost no talking.

2. Commercial Cleaning / Janitorial (non-retail)

You mentioned one cleaning job falling through.
Try the large agencies:

  • ABM Industries

  • Allied Universal Janitorial

  • JLL / CBRE maintenance roles

  • Local building management companies

These have:

  • stable hours

  • union options (32BJ SEIU in NYC)

  • low screening requirements

Once in a union building, you can build a career quietly.

3. Hospitals — but back-of-house roles

Hospitals in NYC constantly hire for roles that require almost zero communication:

  • Central sterile processing tech (paid training programs exist)

  • Linen distribution

  • Food service worker (kitchen only)

  • Environmental services (janitorial)

  • Supply chain assistants

Hospitals don’t ghost applicants as much as retail.

4. NYC Parks / City Seasonal Aide

These include:

  • cleaning parks

  • leaf removal

  • park maintenance

  • groundskeeping

Minimal talking.
No “excellent communication skills” requirement.
Seasonal → can transition to city civil service openings.

5. NYC Civil Service Jobs That Don’t Need Exams

NYC posts “non-competitive” positions occasionally:

  • City custodial

  • City laborer

  • Clerical aide (mostly sorting, scanning, not public-facing)

Check NYC Careers website directly — avoid Indeed for these.

6. Overnight stocking (less interaction)

Try:

  • Target

  • Costco

  • BJ’s

  • Home Depot
    All have overnight teams where talking is minimal and communication standards are relaxed.

7. Security Guard (unarmed)

NY requires licensing (8-hour + 16-hour course), but:

  • Heavy demand

  • Low communication

  • Many posts involve just sitting, checking ID, or monitoring

Some employers sponsor the license fees.

8. Non-driving delivery helper

Many companies hire delivery assistants who don’t drive:

  • furniture delivery companies

  • moving companies

  • appliance delivery crews

You just lift/carry; the driver handles the talking.


📌 Third: Things That Might Be Holding You Back

Not in a judgmental way — just practical:

1. Your breathlessness when speaking.

That's not typical.
Even if you feel healthy, breathlessness while talking is worth getting evaluated (could be anxiety-based, could be respiratory, could be physical conditioning).
A doctor visit could help — also because job forms often ask about ability to perform physical tasks.

2. Underconfidence with speaking.

Your written English is much better than you give yourself credit for.
Your speech may be the limiting factor, but it is improvable with practice.

Solution:
You can do free conversation practice online (no video) to get used to talking in English at your own pace.

If you want, I can practice interview questions with you right here.

3. Avoiding connection-based offers.

In NYC, most entry jobs are filled through referrals.
Turning down three connections hurt you more than you think.

4. Using only Indeed.

Indeed is flooded with scams, fake postings, AI auto-filtration, and irrelevant jobs.

Better sources:

  • NYC.gov job portal

  • company websites directly

  • unions (32BJ, DC37)

  • New York State job bank

  • Workforce1 career centers (they can skip interview steps for some employers)


💡 Fourth: Concrete Steps You Can Take This Week

Step 1: Stop using only Indeed

Shift to:

  • NYC Careers

  • UPS/FedEx/USPS sites

  • 32BJ union job board

  • Hospital websites (NYU Langone, Mount Sinai, NYP)

  • Local warehouses (Google Maps → “warehouse” → check each website)

Step 2: Apply to roles with minimal talking

  • overnight stocker

  • janitorial

  • mail processing

  • warehouse worker

  • hospital back-of-house

  • delivery helper

Step 3: Consider 32BJ SEIU Pathway

This is hands-down the most stable path for someone in your situation:

  • cleaning

  • porter

  • building maintenance

Good pay + benefits + career ladders.

Step 4: Practice simple interview answers

If you want, I can help you craft short, simple responses that work even with weak speaking skills.

Step 5: Accept help when offered

Letting someone vouch for you is not unethical.


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