Moved from Germany to manage a US team and the communication gaps are killing my performance, how do I adapt?
I relocated from Germany 4 months ago to manage a mid-size team at a tech company in the US. My performance is tanking because I can't figure out the communication style here.
In Germany when something's wrong, you say it directly. Here I told a direct report "Your presentation lacked depth and missed key data points." She went to HR saying I was "aggressive and unsupportive." I was just giving feedback.
In meetings back home, if someone has a bad idea, people say so. Here when I said "That approach won't work, we tried it before," the room went silent and my boss pulled me aside later saying I "shut people down" and need to be more "collaborative."
When my team misses deadlines, I ask "Why wasn't this delivered on time?" In the US apparently that's "confrontational." I'm supposed to say something like "What blockers did you face?" which feels like dancing around the issue.
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm trying to be efficient. But every interaction feels like I'm doing it wrong and it's affecting my team's output and my relationship with leadership.
How do you navigate this? Are there resources for understanding US workplace communication norms better?
Jobadvisor
You’re running into one of the most common—and predictable—cross-cultural friction points between Northern European and U.S. workplace norms: directness vs. indirectness, task-orientation vs. relationship-orientation, and low-context vs. mid-context communication. None of this means your approach is “wrong”—it means it’s mismatched for this environment. The good news: once you understand the implicit rules, it becomes much easier.
Below is a guide tailored to German → U.S. transitions.
🇺🇸 Why U.S. communication feels vague or inefficient to you
1. Feedback in the U.S. is sugar-coated to protect relationships.
In Germany, direct feedback = respect + efficiency.
In the U.S., direct feedback = personal criticism unless heavily softened.
Typically U.S. feedback follows the pattern:
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Start positive
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Explore the issue together
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Provide guidance framed as support
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End on encouragement
When you say:
“Your presentation lacked depth and missed key data points.”
A typical U.S. manager might instead say:
“You did a solid job organizing the deck. To strengthen it further, we need deeper data on X and Y. Let’s partner to make the next version tighter.”
Same message, different packaging.
2. U.S. culture is consensus-oriented.
In Germany: efficiency = “State the facts quickly.”
In the U.S.: efficiency = “Make sure everyone feels heard so they’ll cooperate.”
When you said:
“That approach won’t work.”
People heard: “Stop talking, your idea is wrong.”
A U.S. version is:
“Interesting angle. We tried something similar before and hit challenges A and B. How could we approach it differently this time?”
The goal is to encourage contributions, not evaluate them publicly.
3. Questions are softened to avoid assigning blame.
Your question:
“Why wasn’t this delivered on time?”
is interpreted as:
“Who messed up?”
U.S. managers almost always ask:
“What got in the way?”
“What do you need to unblock this?”
“How can I help remove obstacles?”
Same intent—understanding cause and preventing recurrence—without the implied accusation.
🧠Practical adjustments that still feel authentic to you
1. Replace judgments with neutral observations.
Instead of:
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“This lacked depth.”
Try:
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“To meet the goal, we need more detail on A and B.”
2. Add a buffer sentence.
Americans use “softeners” automatically.
Add:
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“I want to make sure we set you up for success …”
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“To strengthen the work …”
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“From my experience …”
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“My concern is …”
These phrases create psychological safety and signal partnership.
3. Validate before disagreeing.
Before saying an idea won’t work:
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“I see why this is appealing, and it could solve X …”
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“… but let me flag a concern I’ve seen before.”
4. Move criticism from public to private.
U.S. employees react strongly to negative feedback in group meetings.
Do idea-challenging privately or phrase it very cautiously in groups.
5. Ask process questions, not accountability questions.
Instead of “Why … ?”
Use:
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“What happened?”
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“What changed?”
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“What can we adjust next time?”
6. Give more positive feedback than you think is necessary.
Not fake praise—simply notice the good work openly.
U.S. culture expects a higher ratio of positive reinforcement.
🛠️ What to do immediately
1. Have an open conversation with your team.
Say something like:
“I come from a very direct communication culture. My goal is clarity, not criticism. I’m working to adapt to U.S. norms. If my style ever feels too direct, please tell me—I want us to collaborate effectively.”
This reduces misinterpretation dramatically.
2. Ask HR for a cultural coach.
Many U.S. companies (especially tech) offer:
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cross-cultural coaching
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communication workshops
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leadership training for international managers
It’s normal, and it’s not a mark against you.
3. Watch how senior U.S. leaders speak.
Notice:
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how they disagree
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how they give feedback
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how they ask for accountability
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the “softeners” they use in every sentence
You’ll quickly see the patterns.
📚 Great resources
Books
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The Culture Map — Erin Meyer (the best book for your situation; includes Germany vs. U.S. specifics)
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Crucial Conversations — how Americans navigate conflict while maintaining harmony
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Radical Candor — U.S.-centric guidance on giving feedback that’s caring and direct
Courses (short + practical)
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LinkedIn Learning: “Interpersonal Communication,” “Leading Across Cultures”
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Harvard ManageMentor: “Feedback Essentials,” “Managing Conflict”
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Coursera: “Improving Communication Skills” (U.S. business-culture focused)
YouTube
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Search “American indirect communication,” “US business culture for Europeans,” or “German vs American communication differences.”
🧩 Final reassurance
You are not doing anything “wrong”—you’re simply using the rules of the German workplace inside the rules of the American workplace. Once you tweak the language and framing, your clarity, decisiveness, and efficiency will become major strengths again.
If you want, I can help you:
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rewrite common phrases in “U.S.-friendly” style,
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review an email or feedback example,
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prepare language for upcoming performance discussions or meetings.
Just tell me the scenario.
I'm 21 and never had a job
It's embarrassing af, I know. I live in a third world country where part time job culture isn't popular and it's hard to get a job if you don't have at least a bachelor's. But somehow I'm seeing almost everyone around me who are my age, have some kind of income source, either through internships, or some part time online jobs etc. Those who don't have an income source are at least studying in a great college and an employable degree.
Meanwhile, I'm here with a BSc in biotech from a no name university in my hometown, never had a fucking job, never earned a penny. And I also don't like my major. Idk wtf I'm supposed to do after I graduate, I'm already in my 3rd year right now.
I'll be 21 in 5 days and I'm scared to grow up and have 0 achievements to show to the world.
Jobadvisor
First: you are not behind.
Second: your situation is far more common than you think, especially in countries where part-time or early work experience just isn’t a thing.
Third: 21 is extremely early in the real career timeline.
Let’s break this down into something calmer, clearer, and actionable.
🌱 1. You’re not late — your environment makes it feel like you are
In many developing countries:
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Part-time jobs are rare
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Internships are often unpaid or only available to students at elite universities
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Companies hire based on degree prestige, not skill
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Students depend on their parents until mid-20s
-
Real career-building starts after graduation, not during
You’re comparing yourself to people from a totally different economic environment or to the top few percent around you. That comparison will always make you feel behind even when you’re not.
🎓 2. Your degree doesn’t define you (and you don’t have to work in biotech)
A “no-name university” doesn’t lock you out of everything. Your degree is just one data point—most careers today don’t require you to use your major directly.
Biotech → tech, business, operations, writing, creative fields, analysis, customer support, QA, office admin, logistics, healthcare support… the path is wide.
If you don’t like your major, that’s OK. You’ve learned something important: what you don’t want. That’s useful.
🧠3. You can build a path from zero, starting right now
Here’s what people in your situation do to create their first opportunities:
Step 1: Pick a direction that’s accessible + employable in your country
Not a lifelong commitment—just a starting field. Some globally accessible beginner-friendly options:
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Digital marketing
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Data entry / virtual assistant
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QA testing (manual QA is entry-level)
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Basic web development
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Customer support (remote or local)
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Sales (tech sales especially)
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Content writing
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Graphic design (if you enjoy creative work)
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Lab assistant / clinical assistant (if you want something related to your degree)
We can explore which options fit your strengths if you want.
Step 2: Start building one small, visible skill
Skills > degree for your first job.
For example:
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4–6 weeks of free YouTube + Coursera basics in your chosen direction
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Build 2–3 small sample projects
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Put them in a simple portfolio (Google Drive, Notion, GitHub, anything)
This alone can set you apart from 90% of applicants in many developing countries.
Step 3: Your “first job” does NOT have to be a formal job
You can get:
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freelance gigs (Upwork, Fiverr, local Facebook groups)
-
internships (even unpaid short ones to get a line on your CV)
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volunteer experience (NGOs love free help)
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project-based experience with local businesses
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helping family/friends with real tasks and writing it as experience on your CV
Early career is about evidence you can work, not prestige.
Step 4: Build a simple, clean CV that highlights skills, not job history
You don’t need work experience to have a CV.
Your CV can include:
-
projects
-
coursework
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certifications
-
volunteer work
-
skills
-
responsibilities you’ve taken outside school
If you want, I can help you craft one from scratch.
🧠4. The real problem is internal pressure, not actual failure
You’re scared because:
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you feel like you “should” have done more
-
you think everyone else is ahead
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you assume one wrong move now will ruin your life
None of that is true.
At 21:
-
people switch majors
-
people drop out
-
people start over
-
people are unemployed
-
people are still figuring out what they want
-
people are living with their parents
-
people are lost
That’s normal.
Your life is not a race, and no one is keeping score.
🔥 5. Let’s make a plan so you don’t feel stuck
If you want, I can help you choose a career direction by asking:
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What skills come naturally to you?
-
What do you actually enjoy doing day to day?
-
Do you prefer remote or in-person work?
-
Do you want a job quickly, or are you willing to learn for 3–6 months first?
-
What industries exist near you?
Once I know this, I can suggest:
-
a starter career path
-
free learning resources
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a first project list
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how to build a CV from zero
-
how to start applying
-
how to get your first gig even with no experience
You’re not stuck—you’re just at the beginning. And beginnings feel scary because they are full of unknowns.
But nothing about your situation is unfixable.
You’re not behind.
You’re not failing.
You’re just getting started.
If you want, tell me a bit about your interests or what kind of future job feels tolerable or exciting, and I’ll help you build a concrete plan.
So... there's just no way to make money is there?
Currently working retail and have a B.A. Degree in Political Science- useless I know. I'm looking at going back to school and looking at jobs associated with various degrees, and I can't shake the feeling that salaries seem very low across the board. I make more, sometimes significantly more, at my retail job than jobs requiring 4-year degrees and a small novel's worth of responsibilities listed. I was hoping that getting a new degree could help me make more money, at least 60k a year, but I hardly see those jobs. As for entry level jobs- I make more than those so that's going to be a no go. Legitimatly confused on how people are making 60k-100k these days. Is it because they got into their position years and years ago when the job market was good? Am I just completely screwed trying to find a decently high paying job at this point?
Jobadvisor
You’re not screwed — but you’re looking at the job market from inside the “degree trap”, and from retail wages that (ironically) outcompete a huge chunk of white-collar entry-level work. What you’re seeing is real, but there is a path to $60k+ without wasting years or money on another degree.
Let me break this down cleanly so you can see what’s actually going on and what your realistic options are.
⭐ 1. Your retail job beating “degree jobs” is extremely common right now
You’re not imagining it. This is exactly what’s happening in the U.S.:
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Retail wages shot up (labor shortages, competition with Amazon, higher minimums).
-
Entry-level office salaries stagnated.
-
Many jobs require degrees but pay like it’s still 2010.
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Job postings list “entry-level” but require 2–3 years experience.
-
Degree inflation hasn’t matched salary inflation.
So yes: a lot of bachelor’s-required jobs pay $32k–$45k while retail roles with incentives can hit $50k–$60k.
That doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever — it means you need a strategy, not another random degree.
⭐ 2. Most people making $60–100k did NOT get there through “degree → job” anymore
They usually got there by:
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getting into a specific track (tech, healthcare, trades, operations, logistics, compliance, etc.)
-
building experience for 1–3 years
-
then jumping companies or roles
Not by simply having a four-year degree.
A bachelor’s is just a ticket to entry, not a salary guarantee.
⭐ 3. A second bachelor’s will almost NEVER raise your income
This is crucial:
Going back for another generalist degree will not raise your earning potential unless you choose a field directly tied to a high-skill career path.
Examples of “low ROI” degrees:
-
sociology
-
psychology
-
communications
-
political science
-
business admin (general)
-
criminology
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education (in many states)
Examples of “higher ROI” degrees if you actually like the field:
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nursing
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medical lab tech
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respiratory therapy
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computer science
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accounting
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engineering (various types)
But these require commitment and may not actually be necessary for you depending on your goals.
⭐ 4. There ARE accessible paths to $60k+ that do not require a new degree
Here are realistic options people in your exact position use:
✔ PATH A — Tech-adjacent, not coding-heavy
These pay $55k–$90k within 1–3 years:
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UX research coordinator (no design needed)
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Recruiting coordinator
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Compliance analyst
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Project coordinator
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Customer success (software) — easiest jump
-
Data analyst (with a certificate and portfolio)
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IT support → systems admin track
These often accept people with ANY bachelor’s, including political science.
✔ PATH B — Healthcare without going to med school
These hit $60k+ with a 1–2 year credential or even on-the-job training:
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Radiologic Tech
-
Ultrasound Tech
-
MRI Tech
-
Surgical Tech
-
Respiratory Therapist
-
Medical Lab Scientist (with bridge programs)
These roles are desperately hiring.
✔ PATH C — Trades with strong wages
These often hit $70k–$100k within a few years:
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Electrician
-
HVAC
-
Plumbing
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Lineworker
-
Welding
You can earn while apprenticing.
✔ PATH D — Government work (your degree is actually useful here)
Political science degrees shine here:
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city planning assistant
-
public administration
-
court clerk
-
legislative aide
-
public safety analyst
-
community program coordinator
Many government roles start around $45k–$55k, then reliably grow into $60k–80k in a few years with raises and union protections.
⭐ 5. The secret: your retail experience is NOT “worthless”—it’s leverage
People underestimate this massively.
Retail gives you:
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conflict resolution
-
customer service
-
problem solving
-
sales
-
operations awareness
-
scheduling
-
handling money
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working under pressure
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team leadership (if you’ve ever trained anyone)
These translate very well to:
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tech customer support
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operations assistant
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sales development rep (SDR)
-
human resources assistant
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office manager
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project coordinator
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recruiting
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logistics coordinator
These roles often start between $45k–$55k and scale above $60k with 12–18 months of experience.
⭐ 6. You can reach $60k—here’s the simplest direct path
If your goal is “at least $60k, and not five years from now,” here’s a high-probability route:
Step 1: Move from retail → one of these entry-level "gateway" jobs:
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customer support (software)
-
recruiting coordinator
-
HR coordinator
-
project coordinator
-
operations assistant
-
sales development rep (tech)
These usually pay $40k–$50k to start.
Step 2: After 12 months of experience, jump companies.
Boom: you're in the $55k–$65k bracket.
This is how nearly everyone does it now.
⭐ 7. You are not screwed — you’re just comparing the wrong things
The mistake is looking at:
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low-paid degree-required jobs
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and thinking they are the only “professional” path
They aren’t.
You need:
-
a track
-
not a degree
And once you’re in that track, mobility happens fast.
⭐ If you want, I can help you pick the best path personally
Just tell me:
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Do you prefer office, remote, or physical work?
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Do you like interacting with people or not?
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Do you enjoy structured tasks, creative tasks, or problem-solving?
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What country or state are you in (so I can estimate realistic salaries)?
-
Do you want to earn $60k ASAP or are you open to a 1–2 year plan?
I can then give you:
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3–4 concrete job paths
-
estimated salaries
-
required steps
-
whether you need a certificate
-
how long it takes
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and links to real job titles to search
You’re not stuck.
You’re not late.
And you absolutely can hit $60k — we just need to choose the right lane.