It feels scary to reach 30 but still not sure what to do

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It feels scary to reach 30 but still not sure what to do


I'll be 30 next year sighs and just the thinking of reaching that age and where you stand in life is just breaking my heart. I feel this sharp regret in my chest like what have I done for a decade. Just thinking about starting all over at 30 or just thinking of starting life at 30 is scaring and freaking me out. I'm a whole decade behind compared to my peers and cousins who have now settled down with good jobs because they chose to go college and grind in life. They worked bottom to up to reach success and happiness. They deserve all the accolades. Meanwhile I let my ego and pleasure control me. I always thought I'm too special to be working shitty jobs like fast food and retail because I wouldn't make my name proud. I wouldn't earn lot of money and excel in the future. Meanwhile my cousins worked fast food jobs and attended universities. I was too busy procrastinating and living in pleasure little did I knew that one day life will slap in the face and give a reality check. Like nobody is gonna come and save you. Nobody is gonna lend you money and allow you to live a peaceful life. I always thought in my head I'm just find a shortcut method for success where I'll make enough money and still be successful like my peers and cousins. It just breaks my heart and the feeling of overwhelmed is heavy. I keep telling myself I wish I had taken high school seriously and attended college and asked for help and just ride out the struggles and failure maybe somehow my life would have been different. Now I feel like society will laugh at me and I don't even know yet what do I want to do for the rest of my life. I have no clue what major to pick. Heck I don't even know what am I good at.


Jobadvisor

Thank you for opening up about this — what you shared takes honesty and courage. A lot of people hit their late 20s or 30s and suddenly feel like they’re behind, like their choices weren’t “good enough,” or like everyone else had some secret instruction manual they missed. That pressure, the comparison with peers and family, the regret — it can feel suffocating. But there are some things here that I’d like to help you see from a different angle.

1. You’re not “behind” — you’re just at a different starting point

Life does not run on a stopwatch. Some people peak early, some peak later, some reinvent themselves at 40 or 50 and still thrive. The people you’re comparing yourself to had their own paths, their own struggles, and their own timing. Yours isn’t invalid because it’s different.

You’re not late. You’re just starting — and starting with self-awareness is far more powerful than starting blindly at 18.

2. Regret is painful — but it’s also a sign of growth

It hurts to look back and wish you’d done things differently. But that pain is actually proof that you’ve matured. A younger version of you couldn’t see consequences clearly. Today, you can — and that means you’re capable of making deliberate, meaningful choices.

You didn't “waste a decade.” You learned what doesn’t work for you. That’s valuable information.

3. Your past self isn’t your enemy

You’re judging that younger you harshly with the wisdom of someone older. The person you were back then didn’t have the experience, emotional tools, or perspective you have now. They weren’t lazy — they were surviving with the skills they had. And now, you’re ready to grow beyond that.

Forgiving yourself doesn’t erase the past; it frees you to actually change.

4. Starting at 30 is not starting at zero

A lot of people start new:

  • People enter college in their 30s and 40s all the time.

  • People switch careers mid-life and end up happier.

  • People find their passion only after stumbling through jobs they disliked.

You’re not choosing a life “late.” You’re choosing it intentionally.

5. You don’t need a major or career choice today

Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you haven’t explored enough yet. Let’s break this into steps that feel doable.

Let’s figure out what you want, step by step

A. What energizes you, even a little?

Not “what’s your dream job,” but:

  • What kinds of tasks feel natural to you?

  • Do you enjoy talking to people or working alone?

  • Do you like routine or variety?

  • Do you prefer physical activity or desk work?

  • Do you like problem-solving? Creativity? Helping people? Technical things?

If you want, I can walk you through a short guided exercise to identify strengths you might not even realize you have.

B. We can explore majors/career paths that match your traits

You don’t have to choose a major now. You just need to start learning about what you might enjoy. There are many paths that don’t require a 4-year degree, too.

C. You can start small

You don’t need to leap into college tomorrow. You can begin with:

  • One course

  • One certification

  • One volunteer experience

  • One part-time job to test an area

Small steps compound. You just need movement — not perfection.

6. Society will not laugh at you — most people are too focused on their own lives

The fear of being judged can freeze you. But here’s the truth: people notice the ones who are trying far more than the ones who stay stuck. And many respect late starters because they know it takes guts.

Your story won’t be “I was behind.”
It’ll be: “I turned things around.”

7. You’re not alone in this — I can help you build clarity

If you’re open to it, I can help you figure out:

  • Your strengths

  • What fields you might enjoy

  • Possible education or training paths

  • How to start over without overwhelming yourself

  • How to rewrite the story you’re telling yourself about your past

Let’s take the pressure off.
Let’s make this about discovering what fits you, not what matches anyone else’s timeline.

If you're comfortable, start by answering this:

What is one activity — ANY activity — that you’ve enjoyed or felt even slightly good at in the past?

It could be something small or random. We'll build from there.


How do you not let job hunting ruin your life?

For context I just lost mine after only a month. In retrospect this job was not really for me, I feel misled about expectations and didn’t align with the leadership or mission much.

I want to get more into marketing I think, maybe this was my sign to not just go with whatever’s available. I already write copy for a small but successful cosmetics retailer, but the work is minimal since I only started recently.

I was actually unemployed after another unexpected layoff back in March and have been really nervous about having to job hunt again. Last time it was 6 months and completely ruined my mental health.

Trust me I know marketing’s hard to get into these days, but how can I leverage the small but meaningful experience in marketing and content creation I have so far to come out of this ok? And certifications or education I can get to make this easier?


Jobadvisor

I’m really sorry you’re going through this — losing a job twice in such a short period is destabilizing, even when the job wasn’t right for you. It makes total sense that the thought of job hunting again brings up fear. Job searching can consume your mental energy if you don’t set boundaries and structure, but there are ways to protect your mental health and still be effective. And your early marketing experience is more valuable than you think.

Let’s break this into two parts:

1. How to job hunt without letting it destroy your mental health

A. Treat job searching like a part-time job, not your entire identity

Structure keeps job searching from bleeding into every waking hour.

Daily plan (example):

  • 1.5–2 hours applying

  • 30 minutes networking (DMs, LinkedIn comments, reaching out to past coworkers)

  • 30 minutes upskilling or portfolio building

  • Rest of the day: your life

Once your “shift” is over, you’re off the clock. No doom-scrolling job boards at night.

B. Limit the emotional rollercoaster

Job hunting is repetitive, not personal — but it feels personal. To blunt that:

  • Send applications in batches so you’re not micro-analysing every posting.

  • Keep a “proof of capability” folder with compliments, projects, good feedback — helps counter “I’m not good enough” spirals.

  • Track applications in a spreadsheet to keep it objective.

C. Build momentum, not pressure

Replace “I must get a job NOW” with:

“I’m building opportunities.”

Momentum → confidence → better interviews → faster offers.

D. Protect your mental baseline

  • Get sunlight + movement daily

  • Social interaction (even brief)

  • 1 joy activity per day that is not “productive”

  • Set one “no job talk” day per week

This prevents the emotional crash you had last time.

2. How to leverage your existing marketing experience

Even if it felt small, you already have something GOLD:
real copywriting experience for an actual cosmetics retailer.

Marketing hiring managers value:

  • Portfolio

  • Proof of results

  • Voice/tone consistency

You can turn what you already have into a strong beginner portfolio.

A. Build a simple but strong portfolio (this is huge)

Even 4–6 pieces is enough.

Include:

  • Product descriptions you wrote

  • Email copy

  • Social posts

  • Landing page copy

  • Brand voice guidelines (if you created or followed any)

  • Before/after revisions (if you improved old copy)

If the brand allows it, display screenshots. If not, anonymize or recreate them.

You can build a portfolio on:

  • Notion

  • Canva

  • Adobe Portfolio

  • Wix

(Hiring managers do not care if it’s fancy — they care about clarity.)

B. Add 2–3 “fictional client” pieces to fill out variety

Create sample work for:

  • A skincare brand

  • A tech startup

  • A coffee shop

  • A nonprofit
    Choose whatever you enjoy — it shows range.

This is a legit, normal thing beginners do.

C. Highlight your cosmetics experience as niche industry value

Beauty + skincare is actually a MASSIVE industry in marketing. You can frame it as:

  • Understanding of beauty consumer behavior

  • Experience writing for a product-driven, aesthetics-focused brand

  • Knowledge of trending languages/styles in cosmetics marketing

This makes you more competitive, not less.

3. Certifications or education that ACTUALLY help (and which ones aren’t worth much)

Marketing has tons of fluff certifications. These are the ones that carry the most weight:

High-value (free or cheap)

  • Google Analytics Certification

  • Google Ads Search Certification

  • HubSpot Content Marketing Certification

  • HubSpot Social Media Marketing Certification

  • Meta Digital Marketing Associate (if interested in paid social)

These prove you know marketing platforms and strategy, which many entry-level candidates lack.

Creativity/technical tools worth learning

  • Canva (if you don’t already)

  • Figma basics

  • Mailchimp / Klaviyo (email marketing platforms)

  • Hootsuite / Later (social scheduling)

These make you MUCH more hireable for content-focused roles.

4. Short-term actions to get you job-ready within 30 days

Here’s a sequence that works well for people in your exact position:

Week 1–2:

  • Build portfolio (4–6 real pieces + 2–3 sample pieces)

  • Complete 1 certification (HubSpot Content Marketing is a strong starter)

  • Update résumé + LinkedIn

Week 3:

  • Apply to:

    • Marketing coordinator roles

    • Content writer roles

    • Social media coordinator roles

    • Copywriting internships (even paid internships can be stepping stones)

Week 4:

  • Start networking:

    • Comment on posts from marketing professionals

    • DM people saying “I’d love to hear about your path into marketing.”

Networking opens doors faster than applying alone.

5. Most importantly: You are not starting from zero

You have:

  • Real experience

  • A growing specialization (beauty/cosmetics)

  • Creativity

  • Writing ability (which can’t be faked)

  • Self-awareness about what kind of job you don’t want

A lot of people start in marketing with less.

You’re not behind — you’re on the bridge between one field and the next, and this layoff (as painful as it is) is actually giving you the breathing room to pivot in a real way.


 How can HR help me I’m being bullied.

Hi, so I work for an EMS company where we're told not to go to HR and handle it in our department, but I realised that if I try to handle it there, it'll make my situation worse. Long story short, I'm being bullied at work. So, from my understanding, is it all started because a group of coworkers think I emailed our boss to complain about one of my coworkers. (This co-worker gets many reports about her; she actually just got demoted because of it.) So she apparently told others I did that to her her in trouble, and ever since then, I have “had a target on my back” (at least that's what people close to this group have told me). I was currently in a tryout phase to get a higher position in the company, and I saw firsthand some of these people trying to fail me. They kept reporting me to my Supivisors for minor things (like a stretcher being too high (which it wasn’t my fto defended me and took the fall)). Also, whenever I go back to base, we have two charting rooms, and I can hear them talk badly about me (apparently, they know I can hear them say this stuff and they want me to hear it). I have also been told to my face by one of them that I am not smart enough to do this job. Also, one of them gave me a terrible review (after I had gotten 4 out of 5 scores from 4 other FTOs), and apparently, she had been talking earlier about not wanting to pass me and how she was dreading working with me to a group of my coworkers. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm trapped, cause if I make a report, it's only going to get worse. But also, I know it's just going to keep happening. I just want to feel happy at work again and not feel like I’m constantly being picked apart. Also there is much more going on and I have multiple people who can contest to this happening, but I don’t know if they would support me if I made a report. Help please


Jobadvisor

I’m really glad you reached out — what you’re describing is not normal workplace conflict. It is targeted bullying, and in an EMS environment where you need trust, support, and safety, this is especially serious. You deserve a safe workplace where you’re not being sabotaged, humiliated, or set up to fail.

Let’s break this down into what’s happening, your real options, and how to protect yourself without making things worse.

1. You are not “overreacting.” This is harassment.

From what you’ve written, you are experiencing:

  • Retaliation based on false accusations

  • Toxic gossip meant to intimidate you

  • Attempts to sabotage your advancement

  • Targeted negative reviews meant to block your promotion

  • Direct insults about your intelligence

  • A hostile work environment where coworkers want you to overhear harassment

This is exactly the type of behavior HR is supposed to handle — especially in an EMS company where high-pressure work requires teamwork and psychological safety.

2. “Handle it in your department” is NOT a rule HR can enforce

Many EMS departments try to discourage HR involvement to “keep things in-house.”
But legally and ethically:

  • HR must hear complaints of bullying, harassment, or retaliation.

  • Your department does not have the right to block HR access.

  • If this escalates, the company becomes liable — HR knows this, even if your supervisors pretend otherwise.

You are not breaking any rule by going to HR. You are exercising your rights.

3. You need to document EVERYTHING starting today

Even if you’re not sure whether to report, documentation protects you. Start a private log (NOT on company devices).

Include:

  • Dates

  • Times

  • Who was involved

  • What was said/done

  • Names of witnesses

  • Any retaliatory behavior

  • Any unfair reviews or paperwork

  • Screenshots/texts if applicable

Write in neutral language, like a police report.
This becomes evidence — and even if you never file, it strengthens your credibility and keeps you safe.

4. Before going to HR, protect yourself strategically

You want to avoid making yourself vulnerable. Here’s how:

✔ A. Don’t confront the bullies

This will escalate things and they’ll use it against you.

✔ B. Keep your performance clean

Continue doing good work, be professional, and don’t give anyone ammo.

✔ C. Quietly gather allies

You mentioned some coworkers know about the bullying and have told you what others are saying.
You don’t have to ask them to “take your side” — instead say:

“If HR ever asks about the environment, would you be willing to tell the truth about what you’ve heard?”

Most people are willing to be honest when asked neutrally.

✔ D. Talk to ONE trusted supervisor if you have one

If you have even one supervisor who is level-headed and fair, ask them for a confidential conversation.
Not to “complain,” but to ask:

“I want to do the right thing and feel safe at work. I’m concerned that I’m being targeted and that it’s affecting my evaluations. What would be the right process if I feel I’m being harassed?”

See how they respond.
A good supervisor will guide you. A bad one will brush you off — which tells you it’s time for HR.

5. When you go to HR — here’s how to do it safely

The biggest mistake people make is going in emotional.
Instead, go in clear, factual, and with documentation.

You say this:

“I want to report repeated targeted harassment and retaliation that is affecting my ability to work safely. I have documentation and witnesses. I would like HR’s help in resolving this without further retaliation.”

HR is obligated to:

  • Investigate

  • Protect you from retaliation

  • Document the issue internally

  • Provide direction

  • Protect the company from liability

They are not allowed to ignore you once harassment has been reported.

6. If you are afraid of retaliation from HR reporting

This is the power of doing it the right way:

  • Once you make the report, retaliation becomes illegal.

  • HR will monitor interactions.

  • Supervisors will be on alert.

  • Those coworkers will have to become very careful, or they’ll face consequences.

Many bullies suddenly stop once HR is involved because they know the spotlight’s on them.

7. You also have a personal decision to make

You can try to fix things from inside — and many people successfully do.

But you can also choose self-preservation. EMS culture varies by company. Some are toxic, some are fantastic.

If your mental health or safety is deteriorating, it’s 100% valid to look for a different EMS agency or a different department. Nothing is worth your emotional or psychological well-being.

8. I can help you strategize more specifically

To support you better, what would you like next?

Options:

  • Help drafting what to say to HR

  • Help writing a timeline/documentation log

  • Help figuring out whether a supervisor is safe to approach

  • Help deciding whether you should transfer or stay

  • Help managing the emotional impact of being targeted


When will company initiate H1B transfer, background screening is done


Hey Folks,

I am confused and panicking. I have signed an offer letter and background screening is completed. Everything is cleared but i for some employment its written as review , even though i have provided every document and relieving letters with accurate dates and job titles.

Also its been only 1 day that i have received my report so usually when will company initiate the H1B transfer process ?

Thanks in advance to community


Jobadvisor

It’s totally normal to feel anxious during this stage — but what you’re describing is very common and usually not a sign of a problem. Here’s what typically happens:

✅ 1. Background check: “Review” status is normal

Even when everything is accurate and clear, background-check vendors often mark items as “review” when:

  • They could not independently verify dates/title directly with the employer,

  • The employer was slow to respond,

  • Documents were provided by you instead of the employer,

  • The check requires internal HR approval at the hiring company.

This does not mean something is wrong. If the employer had concerns, they would reach out to you directly.

Most companies proceed even with a few “review” notations as long as documents look consistent.

✅ 2. When do companies start the H-1B transfer?

The timeline varies a LOT between companies, but here’s the typical pattern:

After background check clears

Most companies start the H-1B transfer process after they receive the final background report, usually within:

  • 1–5 business days at fast-moving companies

  • 1–2 weeks at larger organizations with formal immigration teams

Typical internal steps before filing

  1. Final background check received

  2. HR/Recruiting marks you as “clear to hire”

  3. Immigration team collects documents (I-797, paystubs, passport, LCA details, etc.)

  4. Company files the LCA (takes 7 days for DOL certification)

  5. After LCA approval → they file the I-129 H-1B petition

So even after they “start,” it can take 1–2 weeks before the actual filing due to LCA timing.

⏳ What you can do right now

You can politely email or message your recruiter:

“Hi, I received my completed background-check report. Please let me know when the immigration team will begin the H-1B transfer steps or if any documents are needed from my side.”

This is a normal question and won’t hurt your candidacy.

🧘 Bottom line

  • “Review” status doesn’t mean failure — very common.

  • Background check completion is a good sign.

  • H-1B transfer initiation usually happens within a week or two after clearance.

  • You can safely ask the recruiter for an update.


Missed open enrollment period

I’ve never missed one before and I’m panicking as my wife and two children also need the coverage. Deadline was yesterday (Friday 11:59) and I just now (Saturday night) realized I missed it. Official documentation states I will miss out on all coverages and need to wait until next year unless I have a qualifying event like child birth etc… (which I won’t). I had a rough week and took the last two days off and missed the deadline reminders. I work for a Fortune 500 corporation. Is there any hope for me still enrolling? How should I proceed?


Jobadvisor

Take a breath — this happens more often than you’d think, and you still have a decent chance of getting enrolled if you act immediately.

Here’s how this typically works inside large companies:

✅ 1. Many HR/benefits teams quietly allow a short “grace” window

Even though the published deadline has passed, large employers (especially Fortune 500) often have:

  • A 1–3 business-day grace period, or

  • The ability for HR/Benefits to submit a late enrollment override if the employee contacts them right away and has a reasonable explanation.

They don’t advertise this, but it is commonly done.

✅ 2. What to do right now

Do not wait until Monday afternoon. Send a message right now to:

  • Your HR benefits email/portal, and

  • Your manager or HRBP if you have one.

Then call HR/Benefits first thing Monday morning.

Use wording like this (you can copy/paste):

Email Template

Subject: Urgent: Missed Open Enrollment – Request for Late Enrollment Assistance

Hi [Name/HR Team],

I just realized I missed the open enrollment deadline. This was an honest mistake during a difficult week, and I have a spouse and two children who depend on my coverage.

Is there any way to submit a late enrollment exception or reopen my elections? I am ready to complete everything immediately.

Thank you very much for any help you can provide.

Best,
[Your Name]

✅ 3. Why they often grant exceptions

Large companies don’t want:

  • Uninsured employees,

  • Spouses or children without coverage,

  • The administrative hassle if you later have a health emergency with no insurance.

Benefits teams can usually override the system once they justify it.

❗ 4. If they say “no” initially, ask specifically for an “appeal” or “exception request”

These terms trigger internal escalation:

  • Late Enrollment Appeal

  • Benefits Exception Request

  • Administrative Override

Most benefits administrators (e.g., Fidelity, Alight, Mercer) allow HR to do this.

⚠️ 5. Worst-case fallback (still not guaranteed or ideal)

If HR denies the override:

  • You’d be uninsured until next open enrollment unless you have a qualifying life event.

  • But HR often still finds a workaround if you push politely and consistently right after the deadline.

⭐ Bottom line

Yes — you still have hope.
Your odds are actually decent if you:

  • Contact HR immediately,

  • Explain clearly and politely,

  • Ask for an exception/override.

This is one of the most common HR exceptions made each year.

If you want, I can help you draft:

  • Another stronger message,

  • A script for calling HR,

  • Or next steps depending on how they respond.

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