For many American families, the choice between one income with more time at home or two incomes with the added cost (and stress) of child care isn’t just financial—it’s deeply personal. Take Dan, a stay-at-home dad whose wife earns $85,000 a year. He loves being present for his kids, but as the cost of living climbs, he’s wondering: *Is it time to go back to work as an accountant—even if it means paying for daycare?*
At first glance, a second income seems like a no-brainer. But the numbers tell a more complicated story.
The Rising Cost of Child Care
Child care in the U.S. has become shockingly expensive. According to a recent LendingTree analysis, **child care for an infant and a 4-year-old costs more per month than rent in 85 of the 100 largest metropolitan areas** (1). Between 2019 and 2024, the average cost per child jumped **35%**, per Child Care Aware of America.
Care.com’s 2025 Cost of Care Report reveals that **parents now spend an average of 22% of their household income on child care**—with nearly 60% shelling out **at least $9,600 annually** (2). That’s over **$1,300 a month**, a burden many families describe as unavoidable.
“For most parents, there’s no real alternative,” says Matt Schulz, chief consumer finance analyst at LendingTree. “They can’t afford to stay home, don’t have family nearby to help, and have no choice but to pay steep child care costs—even when it barely moves the financial needle.”
For Dan, weekly child care for two kids averages **$598**, or about **$2,400 a month**. Suddenly, that second paycheck might not stretch as far as he hoped.
### A Shifting Cultural Landscape
While stay-at-home parenting used to be largely associated with mothers, roles are evolving. In 2021, **18% of stay-at-home parents were dads**, up from just 11% in 1989—though overall, only **18% of all parents** reported not working for pay that year (3, Pew Research).
Still, economic pressure is pushing many families toward dual incomes, even when it’s emotionally or logistically tough.
### How to Make the Right Choice for *Your* Family
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—but there are smart ways to approach the decision:
1. **Clarify your financial goals.**
Are you saving for a home? Paying down debt? Building a college fund? Map your priorities. Sometimes a job with strong long-term benefits (like retirement matching or career growth) can justify short-term child care costs—even if you’re barely breaking even now.
2. **Explore all child care options.**
Not all child care is created equal. Day care centers, in-home nannies, family care, or help from relatives can drastically change your bottom line. In some areas, infant care waitlists are months long—so availability matters as much as cost.
3. **Factor in the emotional load.**
Returning to work after years at home is a major transition—especially while juggling pickups, meals, and household management. If the thought of adding a 40-hour workweek feels overwhelming, it’s okay to start small.
4. **Test the waters.**
Consider part-time, remote, or contract roles to rebuild your resume, refresh your skills, and gauge your bandwidth—without committing to full-time day care right away.
5. **Remember: It doesn’t have to be forever.**
This decision isn’t set in stone. Your needs might shift when kids start school, your spouse gets a raise, or the job market changes. Flexibility is key.
### Part-Time vs. Full-Time: What Actually Pays Off?
Let’s look at two scenarios based on national averages:
- **Part-time (20 hrs/week at $30/hr):**
Gross monthly: ~$2,400
After taxes (~15%): ~$2,040
Child care (part-time for two): Varies, but significantly less than full-time
**Pros:** More family time, lower stress, reduced child care costs
**Cons:** Lower income, fewer benefits, limited career growth
- **Full-time (40 hrs/week at $40/hr):**
Gross monthly: ~$6,400
After taxes: ~$5,440
Minus full-time child care ($2,400): **Net ~$3,040**
**Pros:** Higher earnings, career advancement, benefits
**Cons:** Less time with kids, higher stress, rigid schedule
The “better” option depends on your family’s values, not just the math.
Returning to work isn’t just about whether you *can* afford child care—it’s about whether it aligns with your family’s well-being, goals, and capacity. For Dan and thousands like him, the real question isn’t just “Will we make more money?” but **“Will this make our lives better?”**
And sometimes, the answer lives somewhere between the spreadsheet and the heart.