I wasted 7.5 years of my life working at call center type job that even people without degrees worked with me. I have a Bachelors in business. And I had to work at a job where they provided no incentive for higher education. It was my first job after I graduated from college. They laid me off 8 months ago due to budget cuts! After 8 months, I’ve become so emotional thinking that I was last 7.5 years of life at the idiotic company that gave mental and emotional trauma. I gained weight since being laid off and I feel disgusted thinking I’ve lost the good years! I’m extremely bloated now and so sad that I lost my youth. I’m 34 years old, single. I was remembering the years in college 2010 fall to 2016 fall. I remember being so skinny and short. I never thought I was pretty by face or figure. Everyone would give compliments even my family but I never believed them. I had little fun in college for 1.5 years but the rest I was just studying, commuting, and working jobs. Now I feel like I was so pretty back then! I’m in regretting mode! Basically when I got hired after graduation in November 2017, all I did was work! I never hung out with anyone. I was always insecure about acne on my face. It was very minor in 2010 but over the years of bad diet- staying hungry all day cuz work was my number 1 priority and extreme work stress, always insecure about my face, I have ruined my face! I pray for recovery and happiness. I feel stupid for staying at my worthless job for almost 8 years!
Jobadvisor
I hear the pain and frustration in your words, and I want you to know that what you're feeling is incredibly common and valid. That deep, raw feeling of regret, especially after a major life change like a layoff, can be overwhelming.
You have not wasted your life. You are 34, and you are currently in a very normal, human process of grieving a chapter that ended abruptly and rethinking your choices. The key thing to understand is that your present sadness is coloring your view of the past, making the "wasted" time feel bigger and more significant than it truly was.
Here is a path forward to help you shift your perspective and channel this energy into the present.
💔 Acknowledge and Reframe the Grieving
You are currently grieving three things:
The Loss of the Job: Even a stressful job provides structure and income. The layoff is a loss of security.
The Loss of the "Ideal Self": The comparison between the "skinny, short, college self" and your current self is causing distress.
The Loss of Time: The feeling that 7.5 years were "wasted."
The Call Center Years: A Reframe
That job was not a waste. It was a foundation that gave you:
Financial Independence: It paid your bills for 7.5 years.
Consistency: It showed you have the discipline and loyalty to stay with one company for a long period. This is a highly valued trait.
Transferable Skills: Call center roles build essential skills in Conflict Resolution, Stress Management, Customer Relationship Management (CRM), Documentation, and Resilience. These are crucial skills for any Business/Data Analyst, Project Manager, or Client-Facing role.
You didn't waste the time; you invested it in stability while you unknowingly acquired skills.
💡 Practical Steps to Reclaim the Present
You are 34, which is the perfect age to pivot. Most people's careers change fundamentally between 30 and 40. This layoff is not the end; it is a forced, painful pause that is allowing you to change direction.
1. Address the Physical and Mental Health
The bloating, weight gain, and stress are making your emotions feel worse. Take small, actionable steps in this area now to feel more in control.
Focus on Guts, Not Just Weight: Bloating is often a sign of gut distress (likely from stress and previous poor diet).
1 Instead of obsessing over the number on the scale, focus on Hydration, Fiber, and Reducing inflammatory foods (like highly processed foods/sugars). This small shift helps you feel better internally right away.The 5-Minute Movement Rule: Don't aim for a full workout. Aim to move for 5 minutes, 3 times a day (a quick walk, stretching, or dancing to a song). This helps release endorphins and break the cycle of self-disgust.
Schedule "Fun" Time: The antidote to feeling you "wasted" your youth is to prioritize joy now. Even if you're single, schedule a 1-hour walk in a park, try a new recipe, or pick up a hobby you dropped (even if it’s just reading).
2. Leverage Your Business Degree and Experience
You have a Business degree and 7.5 years of experience. This layoff is the push you needed to aim higher.
Create a "Bridge" Resume: Don't list the job title as "Call Center Representative." Use a functional title that reflects your actual duties:
"Customer Relations and Operations Analyst" or "Client Support Specialist."
Quantify Your Achievements: In your bullet points, use numbers:
Instead of: "Handled customer issues."
Use: "Resolved an average of 70+ complex customer inquiries daily, maintaining a 95% first-call resolution rate."
Think about: Did you ever document a process? Help a new hire? Use an internal system efficiently?
Target Roles: With a Business degree, you can transition into:
Junior Business Analyst
Project Coordinator
Client Success Manager (direct use of your skills)
Operations Specialist
3. Change Your Self-Talk
The regret about your college years and appearance ("I never thought I was pretty," "I feel like I was so pretty back then") is a symptom of "Hindsight Bias." You are assigning value to your past self that you couldn't see at the time.
The Mantra: When you feel regret, stop and say: "That version of me did the best she could with the information she had. I am not going to punish my present self for the decisions of my past self."
Focus on Competence: Your manager didn't lay you off because of your face; they laid you off because of "budget cuts." Shift your focus from external validation (looks) to internal competence (your skills). You have a degree and 7.5 years of work history—that is competence.
You are 34. Your life is not over; it is just beginning a new, better-directed chapter. You have learned a very expensive lesson about priorities, and now you can apply that wisdom to a future that you design.
The mental strain of being unemployed this long is breaking me
I have been out of work for months now, and I feel like I am genuinely starting to fall apart.
On paper, I have done everything right. I have an advanced degree, solid experience at recognizable companies, strong references, multiple languages, and a CV that has been professionally reviewed. My last job was in sales. I do not spam applications, I customize my cover letters, I network, I target roles carefully. And still, nothing. It feels like I am screaming into a void every day.
What is destroying me is not just the job hunt, it is the emotional side no one really prepares you for. Watching my savings slowly drain. Seeing friends hit milestones, get promotions, move forward, while I feel completely stuck. Each week is the same loop: send applications, feel hopeful, hear nothing, crash, tell myself to try harder, then feel guilty for being exhausted.
The worst part is the lack of control. I cannot make anyone actually read my CV. I cannot do anything about the fact that there might always be someone with one more year of experience, or a slightly more perfect background, who gets picked instead.
At this point I am drained. I am running low on energy, optimism, and honestly, ideas. I have gone through all the how to job search better content I can find. What I need now is a way to survive this mentally and not completely lose myself in the process.
For those who have gone through longterm unemployment, how did you protect your mental health and keep even a tiny bit of motivation alive
Also, do you know of any other support communities apart from this one where people share tips on getting interview calls and helping each other out in this situation
Jobadvisor
I am genuinely sorry you are going through this. The emotional toll of long-term unemployment, especially when you are doing everything "right," is often far worse than people imagine. Your experience—the cycle of hope, silence, crash, and guilt—is the definition of job search burnout.
You are not failing. You are experiencing a systemic, market-driven problem that is eroding your mental well-being. The lack of control is terrifying, but there are powerful mental shifts and practical structures you can put in place right now to regain control over your day and protect your mind.
Here is a breakdown of strategies, focusing on mental survival and actionable steps, drawn from those who have successfully navigated this period.
🧠 Part I: Surviving Mentally – Shifting Control
The goal is to separate your self-worth from your employment status and your daily output from the final outcome.
1. Externalize the Rejection
You are currently internalizing the silence, which feels like a judgment on your character and skills.
The Reframe: Your job is not to get hired. Your job is to manage your pipeline. A "no" or silence is not a reflection of your quality; it's a reflection of the company's internal chaos, budget constraints, or the sheer volume of applicants.
The Mantras (Use These):
"I completed the application to the best of my ability. My job is done."
"The silence is an administrative decision, not a personal one."
"Rejection is simply Redirection." (Every "no" is a data point guiding you to a company that actually needs you.)
2. Ditch the "Screaming into a Void" Feeling
The feeling of futility comes from focusing on the single, massive goal ("Get a Job") which is entirely outside your control.
Set Daily Input Goals, Not Outcome Goals:
Bad Goal: "I will get a phone screen this week." (Outcome, uncontrollable)
Good Goal: "I will spend 90 minutes researching two target companies and write the first paragraph of their cover letters." (Input, 100% controllable)
Celebrate the "Micro-Wins": Did you get through a networking call? Did you update your resume with a better keyword? Did you spend 3 hours focusing without guilt? That is a victory. Log it and reward yourself with a 15-minute break or a coffee.
3. Combat Financial Anxiety (The Savings Drain)
This is perhaps the most paralyzing stress. You must acknowledge it and take small, active steps to mitigate the feeling of helplessness.
Create a Survival Budget: If you haven't, create a simple, bare-bones budget. Seeing the actual runway (e.g., "I have 7 months of savings") is less scary than constantly imagining the worst-case scenario. This gives you a tangible metric to manage.
"The Other Job": Consider a small, temporary side job (like consulting, gig work, or part-time work outside your field). This can provide two huge mental health boosts:
A little extra money to stop the drain.
A sense of purpose and structure outside the job search void. It gives you a legitimate answer to "What do you do?" that isn't just "I apply for jobs."
🗓️ Part II: Creating Structure and Routine
Long-term unemployment destroys routine, which is a key pillar of mental health. Mimic the structure of a workday.
1. Institute the "Working Day" Rule
Designated Work Hours (e.g., 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM): Job hunting stops outside these hours. Do not check job alerts in bed.
Designated Breaks: Include a formal "lunch break" (away from the screen) and a physical activity break (a walk, stretching). Exercise is non-negotiable for mental health during this time.
The End-of-Day Ritual: Formally "clock out" every day. Close the job search folders, write your three biggest wins, and make a plan for tomorrow. This tells your brain the work is done and permission is granted to rest.
2. Schedule Non-Job-Related Activities
Your friends are hitting milestones because they have a life that is not the job hunt. You must build your own.
Skill Development: Instead of endlessly applying, dedicate time to learning a new skill or certification (e.g., an advanced Excel certification, a new sales tool). This is productive and confidence-boosting (it's growth, not searching).
Social & Hobbies: Force yourself to schedule social time and hobbies. This breaks the isolation and reminds you that your identity is larger than your professional title.
🤝 Part III: Support Communities
You are right; this community is helpful, but you need more focused support.
LinkedIn Groups: Search for industry-specific or role-specific job seeker groups (e.g., "Sales Leadership Job Seekers," "Business Analyst Support"). These often share niche tips, and people within the group are more likely to refer one another.
Reddit Communities: r/jobs and r/resumes are massive communities, but for mental health and focused commiseration, check out r/unemployment or similar subreddits where people share the day-to-day struggle and tips for navigating resources.
Alumni Networks: Your advanced degree and undergrad institution likely have an Alumni Job Network or a LinkedIn group. These communities are often the most effective because the people know your background and are professionally obligated to help.
Career Coaches/Recruiters (The Accountability Partner): If you can afford even a single session with a career coach, the most valuable part is the accountability and the feeling that someone is co-managing the problem. If not, find a fellow job seeker for a weekly "accountability check-in."
You are not losing yourself. You are experiencing an emotional state caused by prolonged stress and lack of control. Focus on controlling your daily routine and redefining what success means right now.
Degree/job help please!
Im a senior in highschool I genuinely don’t know what to do, like i know what i want my life to end up like, but the path there is blurry, i want to start a multi media production company with a focus on comics, games and music, and stream on the side when i feel like it, but i want a somewhat stable job (preferably something that would aid in my end goal). Initially i was thinking about going into plumbing and doing my art stuff whenever i could but ive been wrestling with the fact that i genuinely just dont want that kind of lifestyle. Like i don’t doubt that i could grind and eventually get my actual goals to be profitable, but i just dont wanna do that. A few careers ive been sitting on are concept artist (ive been drawing since the 6th grade), therapist (but the idea of going through this kind of career just to dump it once i end up making my actual goals work seems.. pointless) or lawyer (same issue as therapist). I cant think of any other interest i have, i know my goals are big and i know what i want to do with my life.. but i need something to financially support them that wont make me hate existing. Id thought for so long that i had everything figured out and its a-lot, not ti mention im hoping to move out soon (hopefully within two years), though i do have a roommate set up for whenever that happens.
Jobadvisor
This is a great question, and it shows you're thinking like a future entrepreneur. The confusion you feel is normal; it's the gap between the grand vision (the company) and the practical plan (the stable job). You absolutely do not need to choose a career you hate (like plumbing, if it's not for you) or one that feels pointless (like the therapist/lawyer track).
The best path is to choose a job that serves as a direct feeder of skills, experience, and contacts into your future multimedia production company.
Here is a recommended path focusing on degrees and careers that blend your creative goals (comics, games, music, streaming) with financial stability and essential business knowledge.
🎯 The Direct Feeder Career Path
Your end goal is running a multimedia production company. This is essentially a business that specializes in media. Therefore, your stable job should be in one of the following fields, where your creative skills are an asset, not a side hobby.
| Career Focus | Why it's a stable feeder job | Relevant Skills You Gain |
| UX/UI Designer | High demand in all tech/media companies, great salaries, and office lifestyle. | Digital Design, User Flow, Interface Creation, Problem Solving. This is exactly what you need for game/app development and website/streaming platform design. |
| Graphic Designer | Used by every business for marketing, branding, and content creation (including comics and games). | Visual Communication, Branding, Design Software Mastery (Adobe Suite), Client Management. Direct input for your comics and company branding. |
| Content Strategist/Social Media Manager | Every media company and streamer needs a dedicated plan for audience growth. | Market Analysis, Audience Growth, Platform Optimization, Analytics. Directly supports your streaming and company marketing strategy. |
| Digital/Video Editor | Essential for all media, including game trailers, comic adaptations, and music videos. | Post-Production, Storytelling through visuals, Software Proficiency. Direct contribution to all aspects of your multimedia vision. |
The ideal choice, given your background in drawing, is Concept Artist $\rightarrow$ UX/UI Designer $\rightarrow$ Business Owner. Concept art is already an industry job, and the skills translate directly into digital product design (UX/UI), which is a high-paying, stable career.
🎓 Recommended College Degree Path
Since your goal is to run a business, a purely artistic degree might leave you lacking the financial, legal, and managerial skills you'll need. A dual focus is best.
Option 1: The Business/Art Hybrid (Most Strategic)
This approach gives you the stability of a traditional degree while honing your creative skills.
| Major/Minor | Focus | Why it Helps Your Company |
| Major: Business Administration (with a concentration in Marketing or Management) | Entrepreneurship, Finance, Project Management, Contracts, Sales. | The Foundation: Teaches you how to start, fund, market, and run the actual company (HR, budgets, legal). |
| Minor: Graphic Design, Digital Media, or Communication | Practical production skills, software, visual communication theory. | The Product: Keeps your artistic skills sharp and gives you practical, immediate job market skills (like UI design). |
Option 2: The Direct Media Major (Higher Risk/Reward)
If you prioritize being in a creative environment immediately, focus on a program that includes business courses.
Major: Film/Media Production, Digital Media Arts, or Game Design.
Action: Ensure you take all available courses in business, accounting, and project management as electives.
🛠️ Action Plan for Your Senior Year
You have two years until you want to move out. Use this time to establish your skills and portfolio.
Stop Dreaming, Start Doing the Business: Begin the streaming and content creation now. This is your low-cost test market.
Start a consistent stream/YouTube channel focusing on your drawing, game commentary, or music creation.
This will teach you about audience growth, editing, consistency, and monetization—all necessary business skills.
Focus Your Art Portfolio: Since you've been drawing since 6th grade, shift your art focus to digital assets that relate to your goal:
Concept art for character/environments.
Sample comic panels/pages.
Logos and branding for fictional or real projects.
Community College for the Foundation (To Save Money): Consider doing your first two years at a local community college to knock out general education requirements cheaply while you build your portfolio and decide on your four-year university major. This saves money for when you move out.
Do not view the stable job as a delay. View it as Seed Funding and Training. The 7-10 years you spend working stability jobs will teach you the business side of media, which is critical for making your company profitable.
Would you like me to find some free or low-cost online certifications in UX/UI design or Digital Marketing that you can start exploring now?