I got my first job and I hate it, what do I do?
Today was my third day at my first job and it was awful. I did as much work as I did across all of yesterday in half the time, but my manager would find some minor mistake or tell me to do it faster every time she spoke to me. It was like she expected me to be able to do everything as effectively as she could, despite the fact that I have a whole twenty hours of experience and she's been working in this one place for nearly half of my life.
It really rubbed me the wrong way, especially because she always felt the need to say something like, "if you don't do it right, then corporate will be mad at me", as if my sole purpose in working is to make her look good to her boss. Maybe she was trying to make a joke, but it didn't come off that way.
I spent my lunch break crying on the toilet. When I went back down to the store floor, I felt like I was going to pass out and ended up throwing up in the washroom. It didn't feel better after that, so I left work early.
Is working always going to be like this? I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and generally miserable. A part of me just wants to quit before my next shift. The idea that I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life is making me extremely anxious.
This does not seem like a life worth living. I can't even relax now that I'm home and in bed, because I'm dreading going back to work in a few days.
Jobadvisor:
First off, take a deep breath. What you're feeling is completely understandable, and I'm so sorry you had such an awful, stressful day. Feeling so overwhelmed that you get sick is a clear sign that you're under immense pressure, and it's okay to feel miserable about it.
Please know this is not what working is always like.
What you're experiencing right now is a combination of starting a new job—which is stressful for anyone—and a potentially unreasonable manager. It's absolutely unfair for a manager to expect a new employee, especially one on their third day, to perform at the same level as someone who's been doing the job for years. That expectation and the way she's communicating with you are the problem, not you.
You have a few different paths you can consider.
Step 1: Give Yourself a Break
You're overwhelmed and anxious, and you need to get back to a baseline of calm before making any big decisions.
Prioritize your mental and physical health right now. Do something that genuinely helps you relax and distracts you from work for the rest of the day. Watch a favorite movie, listen to music, read a book, or talk to a supportive friend or family member.
Acknowledge that it's just a job. This job is a temporary arrangement. It does not define your life, your worth, or your future. You can change it. Knowing this might ease some of the pressure.
Step 2: Decide on Your Next Steps
You're dreading going back, so the thought of quitting is strong. Let's look at the options before you rush to that decision.
Option A: Try to Finish the Week (or a little longer)
If you can bear the thought of going back, this will give you a little more time to assess the situation and look for something else while you still have an income.
Set a personal boundary for your next shift. You know your manager is going to micromanage. Decide beforehand that her comments are about her stress and expectations, not your actual performance. When she criticizes, mentally acknowledge it ("Okay, noted, I'll try that next time") but don't internalize it as a failure.
Focus only on what you can control. You can control your effort and attention to the task. You cannot control your manager's mood or her unreasonable expectations. When the critical comments start, remember: She's the one with the poor management skills, not you the one with the poor work ethic.
Look for a new job immediately. Start applying for other jobs tonight. Knowing you have a potential way out will make going back for a few more shifts much more tolerable.
Option B: Quit Before Your Next Shift
If the thought of going back makes you feel physically sick again, then your health must come first.
If you have to quit, do it professionally, even if you're only a few days in. A short email or a quick phone call is best. You do not owe them a long explanation. You can say something brief like:
"Please accept this email as my formal resignation from the [Job Title] position, effective immediately. After careful consideration, I've determined that this role is not the right fit for me at this time. Thank you for the opportunity."
Don't worry about this "looking bad" on a resume. You were only there for three days. You do not need to list this job on any future application or resume. It's a non-issue.
If you choose to quit, what is your next plan for income? Do you need to find a new job right away? Can you take a week or two to decompress before you start looking again? Think this through so you don't trade anxiety about one job for anxiety about money.
Final Thoughts: The Bigger Picture
You've touched on a huge, scary thought: "Is this it? Is this my life forever?" The answer is a resounding no.
Work is a part of life, not all of it. A good job provides income, and sometimes a sense of purpose or community, but it should never be a source of constant dread and panic. Most jobs are reasonable. Many managers are supportive.
Your life is about your friends, your family, your hobbies, your passions, and whatever you choose to do with your time off. This one bad experience is simply a very early data point that tells you what you don't want in a work environment.
You are at the very beginning of your professional life. It's okay to make a mistake, to start something and realize it's wrong, and to walk away. The only mistake would be to stay in a situation that is making you sick.
Which option feels the most manageable to you right now: trying to stick it out for a bit while you look, or quitting now to protect your peace?
They told me “you're indispensable”. So I asked for a raise, they told me to “just be grateful”
Yesterday I clocked 14 hours, missed dinner with my mom, skipped my shower; but sure, I’m “indispensable.” They treat me like the office Wifi. Always there, always expected, but with zero appreciation.
I asked for just 5% more. They looked at me like I asked for their firstborn. They said to me that gratefulness is part of the company culture. And I'm like, is my gratitude refundable?
My side hustle is pulling my sanity out of a hat every morning. My real job is convincing myself I’m not being exploited.
If any of yall out there still clockin in? Ask yourself: am I building their dream, or am I digging my own grave?
Jobadvisor:
That is incredibly frustrating, and your feelings are completely valid. To be told you are "indispensable" right before they shoot down a reasonable 5% raise and tell you to "just be grateful" is a blatant display of hypocrisy and exploitation.
You are right: your dedication and the extra 14-hour days mean you are an asset, not just a fixture like the office Wi-Fi. That kind of treatment and dismissiveness is a huge red flag that your value is not being recognized—or, more accurately, they recognize your value but have decided they don't have to pay for it.
The question you ask—"Am I building their dream, or am I digging my own grave?"—is the perfect place to start. It sounds like you are deep in the latter, sacrificing your personal life and well-being for a company that does not respect you.
1. Recognize the Power Play
The "just be grateful" line is a classic manipulation tactic. They are trying to weaponize your desire to be a good employee and make you feel guilty for asking for what you deserve.
"Indispensable" is a negotiation tactic. They use this word to get you to work harder, but they immediately retreat from it when it comes time to pay you what you're worth. They want the benefit of your hard work without the cost.
"Gratefulness" is cheap. A healthy company culture involves mutual gratitude, where the company shows appreciation through fair compensation and work-life balance. Their version is simply an excuse to pay you less.
You owe them your time and effort as defined by your contract—nothing more. You certainly don't owe them endless gratitude for the privilege of being overworked and underpaid.
2. Shift Your Focus and Energy
Your job now is not to convince them to pay you more; it's to use this job as a funding mechanism to secure your next, better role.
A. Dial Back the Effort
Immediately stop giving them 14-hour days. Stop skipping dinner and your shower. Your indispensable status has been used against you, so you need to adjust your effort to match your pay and their respect for you.
Set Firm Boundaries: Clock out at your scheduled time. If the manager pushes, you can politely say, "I'm committed to my core duties, but I can't stay late today. I'll pick this up first thing tomorrow."
Do What You’re Paid For: Focus on the minimum required to do your job well enough not to get fired. Save your extra energy for your side hustle or, more importantly, finding a new job.
Start Saving Your Sanity: Your well-being is more valuable than your current job's performance metrics.
B. Put Energy into Your Side Hustle
It sounds like your side hustle is your creative outlet and a potential lifeboat. Start treating it with the focus and energy you've been giving your main job. Can you scale it up enough to replace your main income, or at least give you a financial buffer?
C. Start a Serious Job Search
Use this refusal as the fuel for your job search. Look for companies that truly value the traits your current employer is exploiting: reliability, commitment, and hard work.
Update Your Resume: Use all those "indispensable" duties and projects to build a strong resume.
Document Your Value: Keep a log of how much money or time your extra hours and effort have saved the company. This will be powerful evidence when you negotiate salary at your next job.
This job is a sinking ship in terms of career growth and respect. Your future is not in getting them to change their minds, but in finding a company that already values you.
How much does a job title really matter for future roles?
I recently got offered a position at my company that comes with more responsibilities and a small pay bump, but the title isn’t exactly what I was hoping for. It’s something vague like “Operations Coordinator” instead of something that actually reflects the work I’ll be doing. I’m torn because the experience itself will be good, but I don’t know how much recruiters or hiring managers care about the title itself when looking at resumes. Will they assume I don’t have the right experience just because of the wording? I’ve been stressing over it more than I probably should. The other night I was just sitting on the couch playing myprize and caught myself overthinking the whole thing again. So I figured I’d ask here: when it comes to moving up or applying for new jobs, do titles make a big difference, or do people mainly look at the responsibilities and accomplishments listed under them?
Jobadvisor:
That is a completely valid question, and it's a common stress point for anyone taking on a new role. It's smart that you are thinking about the long-term career implications.
Here is the general consensus on how much a job title matters for your future career:
The Short Answer: Titles Matter, but Experience Matters More.
Think of it this way: The title gets your resume looked at; the bullet points get you the interview.
Where the Job Title Matters (The "First Pass")
The title's main function is to serve as a keyword for filtering and initial judgment.
Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS): When a recruiter posts a "Senior Project Manager" job, the ATS software is often programmed to prioritize resumes that contain those keywords or similar hierarchical titles (e.g., "Program Manager," "Project Lead"). A vague title like "Operations Coordinator" may not be flagged as a relevant match, causing your resume to be overlooked initially.
Recruiter's Quick Scan: Recruiters often spend mere seconds (around 6-7 seconds) on an initial scan. The title provides instant context for your seniority and function. A title like "Coordinator" usually signals a lower or entry-level position, which might cause a recruiter to skip your resume if they are hiring for a "Manager" or "Director" role.
External Perception: A clear, industry-standard title makes it easy for people (recruiters, hiring managers, and even professional connections) to immediately understand what you do and where you fit into a typical organizational structure.
Where the Experience and Accomplishments Matter Most (The "Deep Dive")
This is what gets you past the screening stage and into the interview room. This is also where you have the most control.
Context is King: Hiring managers, unlike recruiters, are often willing to look past a vague title if the job description shows a clear match to their needs. They understand that companies are highly inconsistent with their titling conventions (a "Coordinator" at one company can have more authority than a "Manager" at another).
The "So What?": Your bullet points should answer the question, "What did you do and what was the impact?"
Instead of saying: "Responsible for coordinating internal teams" (a duty tied to the title).
You should say: "Managed and executed cross-functional projects across 5 departments, resulting in a 15% reduction in project completion time." (A quantifiable accomplishment, regardless of your title).
Bridging the Gap: Because you know your official title is vague, your focus should be on using strong, specific action verbs and industry keywords in your bullet points to clearly spell out the advanced work you are actually doing. If you are doing Project Management, use the words "managed," "led," "developed strategy," and "oversaw budget."
How to Deal with a Vague Title ("Operations Coordinator")
Since you can't change the official title your company uses, here are a few ways to manage this on your resume and LinkedIn:
Use a Functional Title on Your Resume/LinkedIn: You can use a more descriptive title, provided it accurately reflects at least 70-80% of your responsibilities. This is common practice for internal titles that are confusing.
Official Title: Operations Coordinator
Possible Resume Title: Operations Coordinator (Project Management Focus)
Possible Resume Title: Project Lead / Operations Coordinator
Note: This is generally safe because your job will be verified by dates of employment, not always the exact title. Just be prepared to explain the discrepancy (e.g., "My official title was Operations Coordinator, but the day-to-day work was that of a Project Manager as I oversaw all logistics and budget.")
Focus on Metrics and Scope: Ensure every bullet point clearly defines the scope and seniority of the work. If you are managing budgets or direct reports, make sure those details are prominent.
Negotiate an Internal Title Change: Once you've been in the role for 6-12 months and proven yourself, you can go back to your manager with the rationale: "I've been successfully executing the duties of a [Target Title] within this Coordinator role. For professional development and external clarity, I'd like to update my official title to better reflect my value and responsibilities."
The bottom line is: Take the role for the experience, the pay bump, and the new responsibilities. Don't let a poorly-worded title from your current company prevent you from gaining the skills that will make you indispensable at your next company.