Boss giving me a hard time about my asthma
So I was going to be moving departments at work to something that doesn't flare my asthma as much, and the manager over the new department stopped me and said he wouldn't give me full-time hours if I came over because he was worried that my asthma would cause me to call off too much.I need full-time, but he's convinced I can't handle it, telling me that being a cashier is too important for me to call off, even though they won't let me move over until December.
Jobadvisor
This is a serious issue, and it sounds like you're facing discrimination based on a medical condition. In many places, this kind of action by a manager is illegal.
Here is a breakdown of what's happening and your next steps, focusing on Policy & Procedures and your Work rights:
1. Understanding Your Rights: Disability Discrimination
Your asthma is considered a disability under laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in the United States, and similar laws exist in other countries.
The Law: The ADA prohibits employers from discriminating against a qualified employee based on a disability.
Discrimination in Your Case: The manager is stating he won't give you full-time hours solely because he speculates your asthma might cause future attendance problems. This is an adverse employment action (denying you full-time work) based on your disability, which is a strong case for discrimination.
Myth-Busting: Your boss's concern that "being a cashier is too important for me to call off" doesn't give him the right to preemptively deny you the job. If you can perform the essential functions of the job with or without a reasonable accommodation, you should be given the chance.
2. Immediate Steps: Document Everything
Before you do anything else, create a detailed record of the incident.
Write it Down: Immediately draft a memo or email detailing the conversation. Include:
Date, Time, and Location of the conversation.
Who was present (just you and the manager?).
The manager's exact words or as close as you can remember ("...he wouldn't give me full-time hours because he was worried that my asthma would cause me to call off too much...").
Your purpose in moving (to move to a department that "doesn't flare my asthma as much").
Keep Records: Save any documentation you have about the department transfer, your asthma, and any past attendance records (especially if they are good).
DO NOT: Record the manager without knowing your local laws. Written documentation is safer and often more effective.
3. Policy & Procedures: Escalating the Issue
Your next step is to use your company's internal procedures to address this.
A. Contact Human Resources (HR)
This is the most critical step. HR's job is to enforce company policy and ensure the company complies with the law.
Make a Formal Complaint: Contact HR and state that you need to file a formal complaint of disability discrimination and/or discuss a reasonable accommodation.
The Key Point: Explain that you are being denied a transfer and full-time hours because the receiving manager is making assumptions about your future attendance based on your medical condition (asthma).
Focus on the Solution: You are moving specifically to a job that will reduce your asthma triggers, which should improve your attendance, not hurt it.
B. Request a Reasonable Accommodation
Your request for a department transfer is an attempt at a reasonable accommodation.
Formalize the Request: Ask HR to formally process your transfer request as a reasonable accommodation under company policy and the law.
The Interactive Process: Your employer is legally required to engage in an "interactive process" with you to determine if there is a reasonable accommodation (like the transfer) that would allow you to perform the job. The manager cannot unilaterally shut this down.
4. Final Considerations
The Timing (Until December): The fact that the move won't happen until December is irrelevant to the manager's discriminatory statement now. The manager has already acted by stating he won't give you the full-time hours you need and are seeking.
External Help: If your company's HR department fails to act, or acts against you, you may need to file a charge with an external government agency (like the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or EEOC in the US) or consult with an employment attorney.
Your goal right now should be to get a fair review of your transfer request, bypass the discriminatory manager, and secure the full-time position through HR channels.
What is your first step going to be? Do you have an HR contact you can reach out to?
How to keep working when you have no life to work for?
I graduated from university over two years ago and have been working at my current job ever since. It took a while to get used to the 9-5 routine, but eventually I did. However, over the last few months, I've been struggling with motivation. I don't have a girlfriend, only have one friend, have a poor relationship with my family, and have a very limited rapport with my coworkers.
I don't really enjoy what I do either, and struggle to keep up with the workload a lot of the time. Every day, I just go through the motions of life, feeling either miserable or just plain numb. Everything feels like a chore, even things I used to enjoy like playing video games and running. The only thing that I like doing these days is drinking, but that is just a temporary cope that doesn't improve anything long-term. A couple of weeks ago, I joined a language class in my city to meet new people and make new friends, but that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, because most of the people there are a lot older than me and we don't have much in common, so I'm not sure if I'll continue going to that or not.
The idea of quitting my job and just not working for 6 months or so seems very appealing to me, but deep down, I know that won't solve anything. I've also considered getting a new job, just to have another opportunity to meet new people, but I'm not really convinced that doing so will make me any happier, and truthfully, I can't be bothered to spend my limited free time applying for new jobs online.
It seems everyone at work either has a spouse/partner and a family of their own, or at least an avid social life, so it makes sense for them to be able to go to work every day and put in lots of effort. However, I don't have any of those things to keep me going. I really feel like I've neglected the aspects of life that make it worth living and invested all my effort into getting an education and a career, only to spend my entire life alone.
How am I supposed to keep working for a life I don't enjoy?
Jobadvisor
Thank you for sharing such an honest and difficult account of what you're going through. The feelings you describe—numbness, misery, loss of enjoyment, and the lack of a reason to keep going through the routine—are incredibly heavy.
I want to start by saying: What you are describing is a serious struggle with mental health, and it is a completely valid and understandable response to feeling isolated, unfulfilled, and without connection.
Before we talk about work and job choices, the most important thing is to address the underlying distress.
1. Prioritize Your Mental Health (The Foundation)
Your current challenges with work motivation, enjoying hobbies, and using drinking as a cope are all symptoms of a deeper issue.
You are experiencing classic signs of depression. The feeling of being "miserable or just plain numb," loss of interest in hobbies (anhedonia), and viewing everything as a chore are textbook symptoms. This is not a character flaw or a failure of will; it is a medical issue that deserves attention.
The Urgent Step: Seek Professional Help. Your difficulty finding a reason to work is tied to your difficulty finding a reason to live, and this needs professional intervention.
Book an Appointment: Contact your primary care doctor to discuss your low motivation, numbness, and drinking habits. They can screen you for depression/anxiety.
Find a Therapist/Counselor: A therapist can help you untangle the feeling of having "no life to work for," address the isolation, and help you develop healthier coping mechanisms than drinking. They can also help you with the underlying issues in your family and social life.
Address the Drinking: The fact that drinking is the only thing you enjoy is a major red flag. Please be honest with a doctor or counselor about the frequency and amount. This temporary fix can make depression and anxiety significantly worse in the long run.
2. Reframe Your Relationship with Work (The Practicality)
Right now, your job is a source of stress ("struggle to keep up with the workload") and a reminder of what you lack ("everyone at work either has a spouse/partner..."). But you need it for financial stability.
The Job is a Tool, Not a Life: Stop measuring your effort against the effort of people who have families. Their reasons for working are different from yours. Your reason for working right now is simply to fund the effort you need to put into rebuilding your life. It is a financial cushion and a routine.
Lower the Bar for Effort: Since you are struggling with motivation and mental health, give yourself permission to do the minimum required to keep the job. If you are struggling with the workload, talk to your manager (or HR if you don't trust your manager) about adjusting your duties or getting better organizational tools. The goal is not excellence; the goal is stability.
A Six-Month Break Won't Solve It (You're Right): You recognized this yourself. Quitting without a plan addresses the symptom (stressful job) but not the cause (isolation/unfulfillment) and creates a new problem (financial stress).
3. Creating a Life to Work For (The Long-Term Project)
Your core problem is a lack of connection and purpose outside of work. You need to focus your time and energy on building that life.
Focus on Community and Social Structure (Not Just "Friends")
The Language Class: Don't quit yet. The goal right now isn't to find a best friend; it's to practice being a social human. Go for two more weeks. Even if you only exchange polite small talk with the older people, you are building a habit of leaving the house and interacting.
Find a "Third Place": This is a term for a place outside of home and work where you feel comfortable and can meet people incidentally. Examples:
Volunteer: Find a local cause (animal shelter, food bank, park cleanup). Volunteering provides purpose and naturally connects you with people who share values.
Structured Activity: Try a club related to a new interest, not just an old one (like video games, which are now numb). Think team sports for beginners, a climbing gym, a book club, or a board game group. The activity is the glue, not the people.
Exercise for Mental Health: Running used to be good; don't give up on movement. Even a 20-minute walk a day is a proven mood-booster. It is a "chore," but it's a chore with a guaranteed positive result.
Redefine "Career/Job Choice"
Change Scenery: You don't need a whole new career, but you might need a new environment. Your idea of getting a new job to meet new people isn't wrong, but the type of job matters. If you decide to change jobs, look for roles that:
Are less stressful (less workload struggle).
Are more people-facing (e.g., teaching, non-profit, retail, something in a shared office space).
Your path forward is: See a professional, stabilize your job effort, and intentionally build a social structure outside of your 9-5.