Turned down the job, but CEO reached out again asking for what I need?

Turned down the job, but CEO reached out again asking for what I need?

There is a company near Boston, MA that I really like, we went through two interviews and we hit it off great. They offered to fly me out, but sent me a bare minimum salary for what everyone in my role would make ($90k/50hr week/12% retirement contribution/full family premium benefits paid/17 days PTO and additional PTO if desired). For a family of 6, even if it was $110k it wouldn’t work at all with the HCOL in Boston, so I thanked them very much and turned them down without being specific.

CEO came back asking me if it was due to $$, and that if it was, he would like to keep the conversation going. So I said yes, it was due to money. He then said he would like to see me there, and has now asked me what numbers I would need for my family to thrive there, which was surprising.

Sorry for the dumb question, but do I actually tell him how much I would need? Because my calculations for cost of living suggest $150k-$160k. Rent in Norfolk County is like $4,500-6k/mo, which is the killer. This salary estimate is with about a $1500/mo buffer after all expenses, which we presently have where we are now. I feel kind of awkward coming back with what I feel is significantly higher gross salary, but this is the equivalent of our standard of living presently on a single-income family salary. The absolute bare minimum we would need to struggle on by is $130k, but honestly I wouldn’t move up there for this amount—should I include this number as well? Or just be straightforward about what we need?

Thanks for all advice.

Jobadvisor:

 Of course. It is not at all a dumb question, and it's a great position to be in. Here is some advice on how to proceed with the negotiation, based on your situation:

• Be straightforward and confident. The CEO has opened the door for this conversation and has specifically asked what you need. This is a clear invitation to give a number. Your calculations are solid and based on real-world costs of living, which is exactly what a high-cost-of-living location demands. There's no need to feel awkward about it.

• Give a specific number, not a range. Based on your calculations, you have a clear need for $150k-$160k. It is better to state the higher end of your desired range to leave room for negotiation, and you can justify it with your cost-of-living analysis. Stating your "absolute bare minimum" of $130k upfront gives them an anchor to negotiate down from, which you want to avoid.

• Don't justify your number with your personal situation. While your family's needs are the reason for your number, the CEO is interested in the value you bring to the company, not your personal expenses. The best way to justify your salary request is to anchor it to market rates for the role in the Boston area and the value you will provide to the company. You've already done the homework on the cost of living, which implicitly supports your number.

• Keep the focus on the value you bring. Frame your response in terms of your excitement for the opportunity and the skills and experience you will contribute. You can say something like, "Based on my research into the cost of living in the Boston area and the value I know I can bring to this role, a starting salary of $160k would allow my family to thrive and would enable me to focus fully on contributing to the company's success."

The fact that the CEO came back to you after you turned them down is a strong signal that they want you and are willing to pay for you. This gives you a lot of leverage in the negotiation. Be polite, professional, and confident in your worth.

Choosing stability over chasing passion was it the right move?

I’m at a point where I don’t love the profession I’m in but I’m also not sure leaving is the right move. It’s stable the bills are covered most months and even though I’m not making a ton I don’t have the stress of wondering where my next paycheck is coming from and sometimes I even remind myself how lucky I am to have security when so many people dont. Part of me does wonder if I’m missing out by not taking risks or chasing something more creative but the other part feels like stability is underrated. Having a steady routine and knowing I can take care of myself has its own kind of peace. Has anyone else stuck with a job that wasn’t their passion but chose to value the security instead, do you feel it was the right call in the long run?

Jobadvisor:

Deciding between a stable job and a passionate career is a really common dilemma. It sounds like you're weighing the peace of mind that comes with security against the desire for something more fulfilling. It's a valid struggle, and there’s no single right answer.

Let's explore this from a few different angles.

The Value of Stability

You've already highlighted many of the benefits of your current situation. Financial security provides a foundation that allows you to live without constant stress. Knowing your bills are covered and you have a steady routine is a huge privilege. This stability isn't just about money; it’s also about mental and emotional well-being.¹ The peace you feel from having a reliable income can free up mental space to enjoy other parts of your life, like hobbies, relationships, or personal growth. For many people, a job is a means to an end—it’s what allows them to live the life they want outside of work.

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Chasing Passion Without Leaving Your Job

Choosing stability doesn't mean you have to give up on your passions entirely. Instead of viewing it as an "either/or" situation, you could see it as a "both/and" one. Can you find ways to integrate your creative interests into your life without taking on the risk of a new career?

• Make time for your hobbies: Dedicate specific time each week to creative pursuits. Whether it's painting, writing, playing an instrument, or something else, make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule.

• Explore your creative side in a low-stakes way: Look for local workshops, classes, or volunteer opportunities related to your interests. This allows you to connect with a creative community and see if a new path is truly what you want without sacrificing your financial security.

• Monetize your passion on the side: Could you start a small side project or a freelance gig? This allows you to test the waters and see if your passion could ever become a viable full-time career. It also brings in a little extra income and helps you build skills and a portfolio.

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The Long-Term View

Many people who prioritize stability over passion early in their careers find that it was the right choice for them. They use the security to build a solid foundation and then, at a later stage, they feel more equipped to take risks. On the other hand, some people regret not taking the leap sooner. The key is to avoid a sense of regret by actively making a choice you can stand by.

The fact that you're asking this question suggests that this isn't a simple choice for you. It's about finding a balance that works for your personal values and goals. You're not stuck; you're just at a crossroads. The security you've built is a tool—you can use it to create a life you find fulfilling, whether that’s in your current role, on a different path, or somewhere in between.

What do you think would bring you more peace of mind in the long run: knowing you have a secure future or knowing you took a risk on a new career?

AI Engineer is actualy a bullshit job

I'm a junior AI Engineer in a big consulting firm. They hired me because they are scared of being left behing about AI. I am basicaly doing nothing. People thinks I am some sort of magician while all I'm doing is creating "agents" that performs some task. While it sounds fancy, its actually being done under 30 sec, with a drag and drop tool. Solutions are already super mature. I barely work 1h a day. I'm very well paid but have absolutely no incentive to achieve anything, which is kinda depressing. Its even the opposite, my projects are basicaly to automate the work of my collegue so I'm doing the bare minimum and delaying it because I know I'm the next in line.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're in a really unique and frustrating position. The situation you're describing—being an AI Engineer with minimal actual work to do—highlights a fascinating paradox in the current tech landscape. While many people are anxious about AI and its potential to replace jobs, you're experiencing the flip side: a role created more out of corporate fear and hype than a genuine need for your skills. This isn't just a personal problem; it’s a symptom of a larger trend.

You've hit on some key points that are worth unpacking.

The "Magician" Role

The perception that you're a "magician" while simply using drag-and-drop tools is a perfect example of the AI mystique. For those outside the field, AI seems complex and arcane. Companies hire people like you to fill a perceived knowledge gap and to have a "face" for their AI efforts, even if the tools they're using are becoming incredibly simple and automated. Your role exists not because the work is hard, but because the company wants to appear forward-thinking and competent in AI.

The Reality of Automation

You're correctly pointing out that the tools are becoming so mature that they require very little effort. Many of the "agents" you're creating can be built using platforms that abstract away the complexity. This is the natural progression of technology—what was once a specialized skill becomes a commoditized tool. The job of the "AI Engineer" in this context isn't to build a neural network from scratch, but to be a savvy user of existing platforms. Your role is a bridge between a non-technical business problem and a pre-built technical solution.

The Consequence: A "Bullshit Job"

The term "bullshit job," coined by anthropologist David Graeber, describes work that is so pointless, unnecessary, or harmful that even the employee cannot justify its existence. Your description fits this perfectly: you are well-paid, you have little to do, and you feel depressed by the lack of meaningful contribution. You're essentially being paid to be a placeholder for a skill set the company thinks it needs, but the work itself is a void.

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What Can You Do?

This situation, while demoralizing, also presents a unique opportunity. You have a well-paying job with a lot of free time. How can you use that to your advantage?

• Build Your Real Skills: Use your downtime to learn what's next. While your company is still focused on simple agents, you could be learning to build the underlying models, delving into more complex machine learning, or mastering data science. Look into areas like model fine-tuning, advanced prompt engineering, or developing AI applications from the ground up using frameworks like PyTorch or TensorFlow.

• Create Your Own Projects: You have the time to work on personal projects that genuinely interest you. Build something from scratch that solves a problem you care about, or create a portfolio of projects that showcase your skills beyond what your current role requires.

• Network and Explore: Use your position to network with people who are doing more meaningful work. Talk to other engineers, researchers, and product managers to understand where the real innovation is happening. This can help you identify a future role that is less about hype and more about substance.

Your current job might not be fulfilling, but the stability and free time it offers can be a springboard to a more meaningful career. It's up to you to decide how to use this unique period to your advantage.