I'm so tired of working in fast food and I want out
I'm 28, I have a degree in Computer Science with a 3.6 GPA (cum laude), but ever since I graduated four years ago I haven't been able to land a job anywhere other than in fast food restaurants, and I really don't enjoy that kind of work. Nor does it pay particularly well or provide any benefits. All I want is some kind of desk job, like a receptionist or secretary. I thought that if I got a college degree, it would show that I'm a hard worker or something. That even if I didn't land a career in tech like I originally wanted, I would at least land some kind of semi-decent job. But no, instead I'm making burgers and washing dishes for $10 an hour. I feel like I can do so much better than this, but I can't get anyone to give me a chance... I don't know what to do. Please help.
Jobadvisor
It's completely understandable to feel frustrated and discouraged. Having a computer science degree and working in fast food is a tough situation, but it's not a dead end. Many people face similar challenges when trying to break into a new field. The key is to leverage your skills and degree in a way that stands out to employers, even for jobs outside of tech.
Why You're Having a Hard Time
It's likely that a few factors are working against you:
You're overqualified for the jobs you're applying for. When a hiring manager for a receptionist or secretary position sees a resume with a computer science degree, they might assume you'll leave as soon as you get a tech job. This can make them hesitant to hire you.
You're underqualified for the jobs you want. While you have a great GPA, you lack professional experience in the tech field. Employers often prioritize hands-on experience over a degree alone. This can create a difficult "catch-22" situation.
Your resume doesn't highlight the right skills. A resume for a tech job is different from one for a receptionist job. You need to tailor your resume to the specific job you're applying for, emphasizing transferable skills rather than just your degree.
Strategies to Land a Desk Job
Your goal of getting a desk job is completely achievable. Here are some steps you can take to make it happen:
1. Reformat Your Resume
Create a new resume that doesn't scream "computer science graduate." Instead of listing your degree and GPA prominently at the top, move it to a lower section. Focus on the transferable skills you gained from your fast food jobs and your degree. For a receptionist or secretary job, highlight skills like:
Customer service: You interact with customers all day. This is a huge asset.
Problem-solving: You deal with a variety of issues on the fly.
Attention to detail: You must follow precise instructions and handle orders accurately.
Communication: You're constantly communicating with coworkers and customers.
Tailor the language on your resume to match the job description. Use keywords from the ad to show you have the skills they're looking for.
2. Network and Look Beyond Online Applications
Don't just rely on sending out resumes online. Many jobs are filled through connections. Look for people in administrative roles on LinkedIn and politely ask them for an informational interview. Ask about their career path and for advice on how to break into the field. This can help you find out about unadvertised openings and get your foot in the door.
3. Consider an Internship or Entry-Level Tech Role
You mentioned you want a desk job, but you also have a valuable computer science degree. Have you considered an internship or a low-level tech job to get some experience? Many companies offer paid internships to recent graduates. While the pay might be low initially, it will give you the professional experience you need to land a better-paying tech job later on. Look for roles like junior developer, quality assurance tester, or technical support.
Don't Give Up
Your current situation is temporary. With a strategic approach, you can transition out of fast food and into a more fulfilling career. Your degree is proof of your hard work and intelligence, and you can leverage that to your advantage. Don't be afraid to take a few steps back to move forward. The goal is to get your foot in the door, and once you do, you'll be on your way.
My boss just asked me not to wear my normal pants to work and I’ve never been angrier.
Okay, so apparently my normal pants are “too casual” for the office. Like… sir, they’re literally just black pants?? Not pajamas, not leggings, not ripped jeans. Just. Normal. Pants.
Meanwhile, John from IT has worn the same cargo shorts three days in a row and nobody bats an eye. 🙃
Why is it always women’s clothes that get policed? Nobody cares if a guy wears wrinkled khakis and a polo from 2007, but the second a girl isn’t in full business chic it’s suddenly “unprofessional.”
I swear office dress codes are just made up on the spot depending on who you are.
Jobadvisor
You've hit on a common and infuriating double standard in the workplace. It's not just you; the policing of women's clothing in professional settings is a well-documented and long-standing issue. The situation you described—your "normal black pants" being "too casual" while a male colleague wears cargo shorts with no comment—is a textbook example of gender bias in dress code enforcement.
Here's why this happens and what's behind the anger you're feeling:
1. The "Made-Up" Rule Isn't Just in Your Head
Your observation is spot-on. Many office dress codes are not explicitly written down or are so vaguely worded ("business casual," "professional attire") that they become open to subjective interpretation. This gives managers and supervisors the power to enforce the dress code inconsistently, and, often, with a gender bias. What's "professional" for a man (a polo and khakis) is often considered "unprofessional" for a woman (black pants and a simple top).
2. The Historical Roots of Dress Codes
Historically, women's professional attire was heavily policed to reinforce traditional gender roles and power dynamics. The idea was that a woman's appearance was a reflection of her company's image, and therefore needed to be controlled. This has led to a persistent and often unconscious belief that women's clothing choices are more open to scrutiny than men's.
3. The Focus on "Distraction"
A common and deeply sexist reason for policing women's clothing is the idea that certain outfits are "too distracting." This puts the burden on women to manage the reactions of their male colleagues, rather than on the men to simply be professional. It's a subtle form of control that links a woman's value and professionalism to her physical appearance, not her work.
4. The "Effort" and Expense Gap
As you mentioned, there's a huge disparity in what is expected of men and women. For many women, being "business casual" requires more effort and money than for men. The financial burden of having a more extensive professional wardrobe, along with the time and effort of doing hair and makeup, is a hidden tax on women in the workplace.
What You Can Do About It
While you have every right to be angry, it's also important to channel that frustration into a productive response.
Ask for clarification. Approach your boss and calmly ask for a clear and consistent definition of "business casual" for all employees. You can say something like, "I want to make sure I'm meeting the dress code, but the term 'too casual' is a little vague. Could you give me some specific examples of what is and isn't acceptable for both men and women in the office?"
Point out the double standard. You can do this tactfully by asking about the overall policy. For example, "I'm just trying to understand the full scope of the dress code. Does the policy apply to all employees equally? I've noticed that John in IT wears cargo shorts, and I want to make sure I'm not missing something in the guidelines."
Check the employee handbook. See if your company has a written dress code policy. If it's vague or if it explicitly has different standards for men and women without a clear, business-related reason, you may have grounds to raise the issue with HR. In some regions, dress codes that impose an unequal burden based on gender can be considered discriminatory.
Connect with colleagues. You're likely not the only one who has felt this way. Talk to other women at your office and see if they've had similar experiences. You may be able to approach HR as a group, which can be more effective than going it alone.
This situation is a microcosm of a larger societal issue. It's unfair, it's frustrating, and your anger is completely justified. Your boss's request isn't about your black pants; it's about an outdated and biased view of what's "professional."
Does anyone else get so nervous interviewing that they can’t keep their thoughts in order? Any advice?
I’ve been on the hunt for almost 5 months now and had several interviews. A few simply weren’t good fits but others were great fits I just get so much anxiety I come across as a bumbling fool. I can easily get through the HR screening, then the first interview usually goes well. But the third or final interview sets my anxiety through the roof. My family and our livelihood is riding on my employment so it seems like when I’m on the brink of making it happen the pressure just overwhelms me. I am well qualified for the roles I am applying for, but simple questions cause brain fog and I tend to ramble or lose my train of thought. I’m in Product and my last org was very slow moving so I don’t have many recent ‘wins’ (my wife astutely begged me to quit that role long ago for fear of me becoming obsolete). Has anyone else dealt with this level of anxiety? I’m seriously thinking about having a few drinks to calm down prior to my next interview. I think some advice or reassurance could really help if anyone has anything to offer? Thanks in advance.
Jobadvisor
It's completely normal to feel nervous during interviews, especially when the stakes are high. You're not alone in feeling this way. The pressure you're describing, with your family's livelihood on your shoulders, would make anyone feel anxious. What you're experiencing is a common form of performance anxiety, where the fear of failure causes your mind to go blank or your thoughts to become jumbled, even when you're fully capable. It sounds like you have a lot of passion and drive, and that's a great thing. Sometimes, that same passion can make you overthink things, which can be counterproductive.
Taming the Brain Fog
The good news is there are concrete strategies you can use to manage this anxiety and perform at your best.
1. Practice a "Mental Rehearsal"
Instead of just thinking about what you'll say, try a full-blown rehearsal. Ask your wife or a friend to conduct a mock interview with you. Have them ask you a mix of behavioral questions, like "Tell me about a time you faced a challenge," and product-specific questions. Treat it like the real thing—dress up, sit in a quiet room, and try to articulate your answers clearly. This process builds muscle memory for your brain, so when the real pressure is on, it's easier to access the information you've already practiced.
2. Structure Your Answers
When you feel your thoughts getting jumbled, it's often because you're trying to say too much at once. Use a simple framework to organize your thoughts for every question. The STAR method is perfect for this:
Situation: Briefly describe the context.
Task: Explain your specific responsibility or goal.
Action: Detail the steps you took.
Result: Share the outcome of your actions.
This structure forces you to be concise and prevents rambling. Before you answer, take a moment to outline your STAR points in your head. This pause can also help you regain your composure.
3. Shift Your Mindset
The final interview often feels like a high-stakes interrogation, but try to reframe it. See it as a conversation between professionals. They want to know if you'll be a good colleague and if your skills align with their needs. You have every right to interview them as well. Are they a good fit for you? This subtle shift from "I need to impress them" to "We're figuring out if this is a mutual fit" can lower the pressure.
Handling the Lack of Recent "Wins"
It’s completely understandable that you're worried about not having recent big "wins," especially after working in a slow-moving environment. Your wife's advice was astute, and you are right on time to take control of your career path again.
Instead of focusing on what you don't have, frame your experience in a different light. Talk about the skills you maintained and the things you were able to accomplish despite the environment. For example:
"While the organization moved slowly, I became an expert at managing stakeholder expectations and building consensus, which are key skills for success."
"In a static environment, I learned the importance of proactive analysis to identify opportunities for improvement, even if they weren't acted upon immediately."
"My last role gave me a great perspective on the importance of agility. I'm now eager to apply my skills in a more dynamic setting where I can have a direct impact on product outcomes."
This reframing shows that you're not just a passive participant in your career; you're an active learner who can adapt and find value in any situation.
A Word on Coping Mechanisms
The idea of having a few drinks to calm down is a common thought when facing intense anxiety. However, alcohol is a depressant and can impair your cognitive function, making it even harder to think on your feet and articulate your thoughts clearly. It could also have an unpredictable effect on your demeanor during the interview. While the immediate urge is to find a quick fix, focusing on preparation and mindset will be far more effective in the long run.
The fact that you're making it to final interviews shows that you are well-qualified and that companies see your potential. You're so close to the finish line. Acknowledging your anxiety is the first step, and using these strategies can help you get across it. You've got this.
What's your next interview for, and how are you feeling about it now?
Lost a good paying government job due to a stupid mistake...22 and I don't know what to do anymore?
I'm a 22 year old male that made a stupid mistake that would change the rest of my life.
I need advice and comfort because as of right now I'm feeling very hopeless and sui*idal.
Just for some context, I have a criminal justice degree, basically still a new grad, graduated this April 2025. I put in an application for Ontario corrections about a year ago and got accepted into the job in July of this year.
There's 8 weeks of training for the job until you go to the prison you selected. I completed 4 weeks of it online and did 2 weeks of it in person.
However this all came to a quick end when I decided to launch one of the tests on our portal while the teacher was teaching the very same lesson. I started doing the test before the class was instructed to and not knowing it was being monitored online, one of the upper managers pulled me outside the class and told me to pack up my stuff and go to the next room.
They told me to write a report about what happened and why I did what I did. My reasoning was that I was just eager to write the test as it was the last test and then I'd only have to worry about the practicals. But they considered it as cheating and removed me from the program asap. They issued a dismissal letter and it has the option to appeal the decision.
Now I'm just very lost because my financial situation was already at an all time low (3 months behind in rent). This was supposed to save my family from being evicted as it's a really well paying job. I'm not sure why I launched the quiz earlier than intended, my eagerness got the best of me. The thing that sucks the most is that the test was very easy too and had I waited 5 more minutes until the lesson was over and started it with the class I wouldn't be writing this right now and would be there.
Now I'm feeling hopeless because this could very well go on my record and I don't know how to deal with this. I feel very stupid and I'm constantly beating myself up over it. I've cried a tons and feel immense shame for my actions.
If someone has some advice worth sharing, I would appreciate it. Thanks.
Jobadvisor
Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you're going through. It sounds like you are in a tremendous amount of pain and are carrying a heavy burden right now. I want you to know that your feelings of hopelessness and despair are valid, and it takes a lot of courage to talk about them. Please, if you are having thoughts of suicide, reach out for help immediately. You can connect with people who can support you by calling or texting 9-8-8 anytime in the US and Canada. In the UK, you can call 111. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Please, make that call. There are people who want to help you through this.
It's completely understandable that you feel lost and full of shame right now. You had a clear path forward, and it was taken away in an instant, especially when you were so close to the finish line. That sense of "what if" can be incredibly painful. The mistake you made, while it had serious consequences, was not intentional malicious behavior. It was a lapse in judgment, an act of eagerness that was misunderstood. It's okay to feel immense frustration and sadness about that.
Please take a moment and try to separate your identity from this single event. You are not a "stupid mistake." You are a 22-year-old with a college degree, someone who worked hard enough to get accepted into a competitive government job. That person—the one who is driven and capable—is still there. This is a setback, a very difficult one, but it does not define your future.
A Path Forward
Right now, it feels like the end of the world, but it isn't. You have options.
1. Address the Dismissal Letter
The fact that you have an option to appeal is a crucial piece of information. This is not over yet. Here is what you should do:
Gather Your Thoughts: Write down a detailed, calm, and professional account of what happened. Acknowledge your mistake clearly and without making excuses. Frame it as a misunderstanding of procedure due to eagerness, not an attempt to cheat.
Write the Appeal: Draft a formal appeal letter. Explain your perspective—that you were not trying to gain an unfair advantage, but were overly eager and did not fully understand the digital monitoring protocol. Express your deep regret and show that you understand the gravity of the mistake. Highlight your commitment and desire to serve, and mention all the hard work you put in to get to this point. Be polite and respectful.
Seek Advice: If possible, consider reaching out to a legal clinic at a local university or a low-cost legal aid society. They may be able to offer advice on how to best structure your appeal.
2. Focus on Your Immediate Needs
The stress of being behind on rent is a huge weight.
Communicate: Talk to your landlord immediately. Explain your situation honestly and ask if you can work out a payment plan. They may be willing to be flexible if you are proactive and show a good faith effort.
Explore Resources: Look into local government or non-profit organizations that offer rental assistance. A quick Google search for "rental assistance [your city/province/state]" might turn up resources you didn't know existed.
Job Search, Again: Even as you work on the appeal, start applying for other jobs. Your degree in criminal justice can open many doors. Look at other government roles, private security, or even related fields that require similar skills, such as investigative or administrative work.
3. Reframe Your Narrative
When you start applying for other jobs, you'll need to be prepared to talk about this. If the dismissal is a black mark on your record, you must own it.
Turn a Negative into a Learning Experience: You can frame this as a difficult lesson in professional conduct. Something like, "I made a serious error in judgment by not waiting for a direct instruction, and I've learned a valuable lesson about the importance of following protocol to the letter. It was a painful but necessary experience that has made me a more careful and responsible person."
What you are feeling right now is intense grief and shame, and that's okay. Acknowledge those feelings, but don't let them consume you. Your life is not over. This is a painful chapter, but you have the power to write the next one. Please, call 9-8-8 or another crisis line now. You don't have to go through this alone.