Found out I'll be losing my job at 33. Depression and little savings, how do I keep my life from falling apart?
I am 33, so it feels WAY too late to make any kind of drastic change. I've worked at a bank doing various things, most recently a data quality analyst. It paid well below the national average for someone my age and I only have a few thousand in savings. I am only going to be able to survive a few months on what I have because I will not contribute less than 50% to our living situations.
I am losing my job mainly because the department is getting reorganized and honestly, im the weakest on my team. I admit it, and could make excuses, but that's moot. But what is awful is knowing that none of my skills are transferable to anything else because I apparently suck at my job. So last 8 years and cant use it as a reference.
Shocker, I also suffer from some extreme depression (manic depressive), which comes from some deeply ingrained training from my family (bigger number, better person), untreated adhd (cant get meds with hypertension), and chronic/severe tinnitus. Which makes focus and silence a living hell. Only reason I could get as far as I did with it was I was hybrid and had some awesome white noise in my office.
Our currently lifestyle is already toeing the line between lower middle class and just poor, and if I go back to minimum wage, we will likely have to move out of our current place. I cant do this to my wife. She won't leave me for money reasons, which just makes this even worse. Bad enough she's as sick as she is and knows she cant rely on me if she gets worse.
I just dont know what to do. Just spiraling every day. Might as well call me calendar because my days [of being able to support my wife at all] are numbered. Im not suicidal, I made that promise to her years ago after I managed to get past it.
I truthfully dont even have a point to this post. I just dont know where else to look. There aren't many resources about losing your job and savings in your mid 30s, so I have to assume most people just....do better.
Jobadvisor
That sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I want to start by saying I'm genuinely sorry you're going through this. Losing your job is a major blow under any circumstances, and dealing with depression, ADHD, chronic tinnitus, and financial stress all at once is a monumental burden. Please be kind to yourself. You are in a crisis point, and it is absolutely okay to feel like you're spiraling.
What you're feeling—that sense of falling behind or that it's "too late"—is a very common, but false, thought when facing a major setback. Thirty-three is not too late for anything. Many successful people have completely reinvented their careers in their late 30s, 40s, and beyond.
You have a point to this post: you need help finding a path forward, and that's exactly what we're going to focus on.
1. The Immediate Stabilization Plan (The Next Few Weeks)
Before you focus on a new job or career, you need to create some mental and financial breathing room.
A. Focus on Your Benefits and Mental Health
Unemployment Insurance: This is your absolute first step. Apply for unemployment benefits (sometimes called UI or UIB) immediately after your last day. This is income you have paid for, and it will give you a financial buffer that goes beyond your savings. The amount will be lower than your salary, but it is reliable income.
Health Insurance: If you're losing employer-sponsored health insurance, investigate COBRA (allowing you to continue your old plan at your own cost) and the Health Insurance Marketplace (healthcare.gov or your state's exchange). Losing your job is a Qualifying Life Event that allows you to sign up for a new plan outside of the normal open enrollment period. Given your health issues and your wife's sickness, maintaining coverage is critical. You may qualify for subsidies on the Marketplace that make a plan much more affordable.
Prioritize Your Wife: You mentioned your wife is sick. The most loving and supportive thing you can do for her right now is take steps to take care of yourself and the situation. This includes the unemployment application, the insurance hunt, and making time for low-cost, high-impact things like short walks, meditation (even five minutes of focusing on your breathing), or talking to a professional. You can't support her if you're completely burned out.
B. The Financial Reality Check (With Your Wife)
You mentioned not wanting to contribute less than 50% to living expenses. You need to drop that mental barrier right now. You are in a crisis, and your wife sounds like a wonderful, supportive person.
Communicate Everything: Sit down with her and lay out the exact budget. Unemployment/severance + savings vs. monthly expenses.
The Shared Burden: It is okay, and necessary, for your financial contributions to drop to zero for a few months. She loves you. She would much rather have you use your time and energy to find a stable new path than panic and burn through your savings trying to keep up a false 50/50.
Immediate Cost-Cutting: This is tough, but it's essential for your runway. Review everything: cancel unused subscriptions, call your internet/phone providers to negotiate a lower rate, and switch to a strict grocery-only budget. Every $100 you save adds a week to your job search time.
2. Re-evaluating Your "Worthless" Skills
You feel your skills are not transferable, and you "suck" at your job. That feeling is the depression talking. Your brain is using the job loss as evidence of a deeper personal failure, which is unfair and untrue.
You worked for eight years as a data quality analyst at a bank. That experience is not worthless—it’s full of marketable, transferable skills.
Data Quality Analyst → Transferable Skills:
Attention to Detail: You worked with data, which requires rigorous focus on accuracy.
Process & Procedure: You know how to follow and enforce rules and processes (critical for compliance, operations, and logistics).
Technical Literacy: You know your way around spreadsheets, databases (even just knowing what they are), and specific data tools. You know how business systems work.
Problem-Solving: Data Quality is about finding and fixing errors. That's problem-solving.
Financial/Industry Knowledge: You understand the language and regulations of the banking/finance world.
You do not suck at your job; you were a poor fit for that specific role/team structure, which is a very different thing. You lasted eight years, which means you delivered value. A good new job description will re-frame these skills.
3. The Job Search with Depression and Tinnitus
Your health issues need to be factored into the job search; they are not an obstacle to ignore, but a set of requirements for your next role.
A. Focus on Your Environment
The fact that you thrived in a hybrid environment with white noise is a huge clue.
Prioritize Hybrid/Remote: Look exclusively for roles that offer flexibility. This allows you to manage your environment, use your white noise, and mitigate the intense anxiety that can come with an open-plan office.
Look for Process-Heavy Roles: Roles that require clear procedures, checklists, and structured tasks can be much easier for someone with ADHD and depression than highly unstructured, creative, or political roles. Look into fields like:
Compliance/Risk Analysis: Uses your banking background and attention to detail.
Operations Analyst/Coordinator: Focuses on improving existing business processes.
Fraud Analyst: Uses your data-checking and problem-solving skills to protect assets.
Technical/Instructional Writing: If you can take complex procedures and write them clearly, this is a great remote/hybrid path.
B. The "Reference" Dilemma
The idea that you "can't use it as a reference" is not entirely true.
Use HR/Verification: Most large companies will only confirm your dates of employment and title. This is a neutral reference.
Look to Former Colleagues: You likely worked with other people who thought you were helpful. Reach out to a former peer or a manager from an earlier role at the bank. Ask if they'd be willing to speak to your professional strengths. You don't need a single, all-encompassing reference; you need two or three people who can talk about your reliability and skills.
You are 33, you have 8 years of professional experience, a supportive wife, and the clarity to name the problems you're facing. This is not a life falling apart; it's a recalibration. Stabilize, reframe your experience, and focus on finding a role that gives you the peace and structure you need.
What is your absolute first, most manageable step you can take today? I strongly suggest researching how to apply for Unemployment Benefits in your area.
So what jobs are people actually referring to when they say “there’s easier ways to make more money?”
I’m sick of hearing “oh no, don’t do this. There’s easier ways to make money.”
Where?
Back in 2020, I was interested in computer science and software engineering. I followed the advice from here and chose not to. “Oh, if you’re not passionate about coding don’t do it. There’s easier ways to make more money.”
Last year, I wondered if I should take my cook job seriously and aim for high chef salary. Same thing. “Oh no, don’t do this it’s too hard and there’s easier jobs that make 100k easily.”
Copywriting, medical equipment techs, and accounting. Same advice. If you’re not passionate, don’t do it because there’s easier ways to make more money.
Even fucking HVAC people told me “oh no, there’s already too many people and you’re not guaranteed hours. There’s easier jobs that make more money.”
Now I’m looking into law school. “Don’t do this. It’s too hard and too many law students. There’s easier ways to make six figures. A lot of law school graduates are making low income and have debt.”
I’m poor. I’m an immigrant and grew up in a family of four with 50k household income. I want a high paying job ($50-$100k). But every time I try to look for career advise, literally every answer is there are easier jobs that make more money.
So, now I’m asking. What jobs are actually easy, require little to no education, and will give me a middle to upper class life?
Are these people just gatekeeping their careers? Have they even tried working any other job or the supposed “easy job that makes 10 quintillion dollars” or are they just assuming their job is hard so they must be extremely, unusually hardworking and no one in any other industry is working as hard as them, which is why they get to have six figures.
Jobadvisor
This is an incredibly common and frustrating experience, and you've hit on a very insightful truth: the advice "there's easier ways to make more money" is often vague, unhelpful, and sometimes borders on gatekeeping or simply a lack of perspective from the advice-giver.
It's natural for someone immersed in a difficult field (like law, software engineering, or high-end cooking) to feel their path is uniquely hard and to warn others away, often exaggerating the "easy" alternatives. They are usually speaking from a place of passion burnout or professional disillusionment, not from objective career analysis.
The jobs people are actually referring to when they say "easier ways to make more money" generally fall into a few high-demand, high-compensation categories that often value demonstrable skill, certification, or performance over a traditional four-year degree:
1. The Skilled Trades (Apprenticeship/Certification)
These jobs require specialized training, often through an apprenticeship or technical school, but can quickly lead to high wages, especially with overtime or when starting your own business.
| Job Title | Typical Pay Range ($50k - $100k+) | Education/Entry Path | Why it's seen as "Easier" |
| Elevator Installer/Repairer | $70k - $100k+ | High school diploma + 4-year paid apprenticeship. | Very high pay for highly technical, specialized work. Extremely high demand. |
| Electrician/Plumber | $50k - $90k+ (more if self-employed) | High school diploma + apprenticeship/trade school + licensing. | Essential, recession-proof work. High hourly rate once licensed. |
| HVAC Technician | $50k - $75k+ (more with commission/overtime) | Trade school certificate or apprenticeship + licensing. | Constant demand (summer AC, winter heat). Overtime is often available and lucrative. (Despite what you were told, demand is strong.) |
| Commercial Truck Driver (CDL) | $50k - $85k+ | Commercial Driver's License (CDL) training (short course). | High demand, necessary for the economy. Some routes/companies pay very well. |
| Aircraft Mechanic | $60k - $90k+ | Technical school or on-the-job training + FAA certification. | Specialized, high-stakes skill; strong pay without a bachelor's degree. |
2. Performance-Based/Commission Sales Roles
In these jobs, your income is directly tied to your performance and output. They have a low barrier to entry, but require a high degree of drive, excellent people skills, and a thick skin. The "easiest" part is often the lack of a prerequisite degree; the work itself is not easy.
| Job Title | Typical Pay Range ($50k - $150k+) | Education/Entry Path | Why it's seen as "Easier" |
| Real Estate Agent/Broker | $45k - $200k+ (entirely commission-based) | High school diploma + state-mandated pre-licensing course and exam. | Unlimited earning potential. No college degree required. |
| Sales Representative (Tech/B2B) | $60k - $120k+ (base + commission) | Often entry-level with on-the-job training, though a degree can help. | Performance-driven. The high commission potential is the "easy money" hook. |
| Insurance Agent/Adjuster | $50k - $80k+ | High school diploma + state license. | Stable industry with good earning potential and clear path to licensing. |
3. Specialized Certifications (Non-Degree Healthcare/Tech)
These paths require specific, focused training (often an Associate's Degree or a certification program) that is quicker and cheaper than a four-year degree but leads to a stable, high-paying job.
| Job Title | Typical Pay Range ($60k - $90k+) | Education/Entry Path | Why it's seen as "Easier" |
| Dental Hygienist | $70k - $95k+ | Associate's Degree (2 years) + licensing. | High pay for an associate's degree, good work-life balance compared to many medical jobs. |
| Web Developer/Software | $60k - $100k+ | Coding Bootcamp, self-study, or Associate's Degree (portfolio matters most). | Skills-based field where a four-year degree isn't always essential; rapid job acquisition possible. |
| Air Traffic Controller | $75k - $130k+ | FAA training program (extremely selective and high-stress job). | Exceptionally high pay for the education requirement, but the job itself is high-stakes. |
Addressing Your Frustration
You are right to be frustrated. The "easier way" advice is misleading because it often ignores the actual difficulty of those careers:
Sales/Commission: The "easy money" requires extremely difficult soft skills—relentless prospecting, dealing with rejection, and constant pressure. Many people fail out of these roles.
Trades: The pay is high, but the work is physically demanding, often dangerous, and can have long, irregular hours. It's not "easy" on the body.
Specialized Certifications: The education is faster, but the training is intense and highly focused (like Air Traffic Control or Dental Hygiene).
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The Reality Check
The truth is, all jobs that pay $50k to $100k or more require a high degree of skill, dedication, and/or risk. There is no truly "easy" path to a middle-to-upper-class income, but there are paths that:
Require less time/money upfront (e.g., trade school over a 4-year degree).
Pay for performance (e.g., sales).
2 Are extremely high in demand (e.g., specialized trades, niche tech skills).
My Advice to You:
Ignore the "Passion" Warning: The "don't do it unless you're passionate" warning is a privilege of the financially secure. For someone like you, a high-paying job is the goal. You need a means to a better life; passion can be developed later. Good enough passion for a solid paycheck is perfectly acceptable.
Filter the Advice: When someone says, "It's too hard, there are easier ways," translate that to: "This job is very demanding, but the pay is good for those who stick with it." Then, research the specific demands and see if you can handle them.
Focus on a Proven High-ROI Path: Given your background and goal, stop jumping between high-debt options like law school. Instead, focus on a high-return path with a fast ramp-up:
Skilled Trades: Pick one (like Electrician or Plumber) and apply for a union apprenticeship, where you earn while you learn and get excellent benefits.
3 This is a very strong path for financial stability and high income.In-Demand Tech Skills: Look into Coding Bootcamps, IT Certifications (like CompTIA), or Sales Development Representative (SDR) roles in tech, where your performance and demonstrated skill/portfolio are more important than a degree.
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