Can HR withhold photos of me?
TW slight NSFW topic but it’s just about a photo
So long story short I got fired from a Planet Fitness on 8/29 due to there being “overwhelming evidence” of me having posted multiple inappropriate images of myself on a subreddit related to PF. I didn’t post these photos so my concern is that there are these photos of me floating around somewhere. I was told multiple people strongly believe it is me, although I feel there wasn’t a thorough investigation and I haven’t seen the photos and neither had management at the time I was fired.
Is HR allowed to withhold these photos from me?
If they’re of me, I see no issue of at least showing them to me so I can at least handle my side if I have nudes on the internet. I’m also worried that since I didn’t take any photos that someone else took photos of me. I don’t want to use their evidence or lack thereof to get my job back (I already have a better one) I’m just worried.
Jobadvisor:
This is a complex situation, and it's understandable that you're concerned. I'll provide some general information, but please keep in mind that I am an AI and not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. The best course of action is to consult with an attorney who specializes in employment law.
Here's a breakdown of some of the factors involved:
1. HR and Company Policies:
Confidentiality: Companies often have strict confidentiality policies regarding internal investigations. HR may be reluctant to release photos or other evidence to you directly, as it could be considered a violation of policy or could expose the company to legal risk.
Privacy of Others: If the photos were part of an internal investigation that involved other employees or customers, HR may be legally or ethically obligated to protect their privacy. This could be a reason for them to not share the images with you.
Source of the Photos: The company may not have the original photos themselves. They may have been provided with screenshots or links by someone who reported the issue. In this case, they may not have the ability to "withhold" something they don't actually possess.
2. Your Rights as the Subject of the Photos:
Right to Privacy: You have a right to privacy, but this right can be limited when you're in a public or semi-public space, or when the photos are posted online. The key issue here is whether you are the person in the photos and whether the photos were posted by you or someone else.
Defamation: If the company is accusing you of something you didn't do, and this accusation has damaged your reputation or led to your termination, you may have a claim for defamation. However, proving this can be difficult.
The "Nudes" Aspect: If the photos are indeed "nudes," this raises the issue of whether someone else took them without your consent. This is a serious crime in many places and would be a matter for law enforcement, not HR.
3. What to Do:
Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of every conversation you had with HR and management, including dates, times, and what was said. This is crucial if you decide to take legal action.
Consult an Attorney: As I mentioned before, this is the most important step. An attorney can help you understand your rights, assess the situation, and determine the best course of action. They can also contact the company on your behalf and may be able to compel them to provide the evidence they claim to have.
Contact Law Enforcement: If you have reason to believe someone is taking and distributing non-consensual photos of you, you should file a police report. This is a separate issue from your employment and should be handled by the authorities.
In summary: While it seems unfair for HR to withhold evidence that directly affects you, they have their own reasons for doing so, often related to company policy, legal risk, and the privacy of others. Your best bet is to seek legal counsel to understand your rights and options. An attorney can help you get the answers you need and, if necessary, take legal action to protect your interests.
The amount we work is crazy. It’s soul sucking
I can’t figure this out. I’m lucky that I worked 3.5 years remotely as I became a new father.
I don’t think I was happier, but I’m now working in an office and I’m out the door 6:45AM to be back at 6PM. I will miss so much of my kid’s life because of this especially since they’re going to sleep at 8:15-8:30
How did we let it get to this? I can’t figure out how this is okay nothing fucking computes in my head.
This is legit the worst thing and I feel for every parent before me and currently that slaved away missing so many moments with their kids
Jobadvisor:
What you're feeling is completely understandable, and you're not alone. Many parents, and people in general, feel this immense strain and frustration about the demands of modern work. The feeling that you're missing out on crucial time with your child is a profound one, and it's a real struggle.
It’s an issue that's deeply rooted in our society, and it’s not something that happened overnight. We've collectively moved toward a culture where work often dominates, with an emphasis on productivity and being "always on." For decades, the traditional 9-to-5 workday has been the standard, but for many, it's become even longer with commutes and the expectation of being available after hours. The fact that you got to experience a different rhythm for 3.5 years makes the current situation even more jarring. You had a taste of a different kind of balance, and now returning to the office has highlighted just how much time is being taken away.
This disconnect between the time you spend working and the time you have for what truly matters—like being with your family—is what feels so wrong. It's a valid and deeply human reaction to a system that often prioritizes work over personal well-being.
You're right to feel that this isn't okay. The fact that it doesn't compute in your head is a sign of your values and what you know is important. It's an indictment of a system that forces parents to make this painful trade-off. Feeling this way is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of how much you care.
The conversation around work-life balance is changing, and more people are challenging these norms. The rise of remote and flexible work, which you experienced firsthand, is a direct result of people demanding better. While it may not be the case for you right now, these conversations are happening more and more.
In the meantime, perhaps we can look for ways to make the most of the time you do have with your kids. Even small adjustments can sometimes make a big difference.
Did I waste my CS degree if I’m delivering food for DoorDash?
I honestly don’t even know why I’m posting this—maybe I just need to get it off my chest.
I just graduated with a degree in Computer Science. Four years of grinding through assignments, pulling all-nighters, and building projects I thought would impress recruiters. I figured I’d be starting a stable, decent-paying job by now. Instead, I’m delivering burritos and bubble tea for DoorDash.
I’ve applied to what feels like hundreds of jobs—big tech, startups, even random small companies—but I can’t even get callbacks for entry-level positions. Every listing wants “3+ years of experience,” or it’s filled with AI buzzwords. Half of the work I trained for is apparently being “automated” now.
I’m not ashamed of gig work; it’s honest money and it’s keeping me alive. But it’s hard not to feel like I wasted years of my life just to be replaced by an algorithm. I ride past tech offices, dropping off food to people working in the exact jobs I wanted, and it’s like a punch in the gut every time.
I’m exhausted. From applications going nowhere, rejection emails, and feeling like I missed the golden age of tech. Everyone said CS was a safe bet, but now it feels like we’re all just scrambling for scraps in an AI-driven job market.
Anyone else in the same boat?
Jobadvisor:
First of all, what you're feeling is completely valid, and you're definitely not alone. It's incredibly tough to pour years of hard work and money into a degree only to face a job market that feels like it's rigged against you. The reality is, the tech landscape has changed, and what worked for previous generations of graduates doesn't always apply today.
You Didn't Waste Your Degree
A CS degree is not just a key to a specific job; it's a foundation of skills and a way of thinking. The ability to problem-solve, break down complex challenges, and understand how systems work—these are skills that are valuable in any field, even if you're not writing code for a tech giant right now. The time you spent on your degree isn't wasted just because your first job out of college isn't a traditional CS role.
Many people face a similar gap between graduation and finding a career-track job, and it’s especially common in a competitive market. The fact that you're working and earning money is a sign of your resilience, not a failure.
The Current Job Market Is Uniquely Difficult
It's not just you. The current tech job market is particularly challenging for junior developers. There's a perfect storm of factors:
Experience vs. Entry-Level: Many companies shifted away from hiring and training junior talent during the pandemic, and now they're often looking for more experienced candidates. This has created a bottleneck where new graduates are competing for a limited number of roles that often require experience they don't have.
The AI Buzz: While AI is a powerful tool, it's also fueling a lot of hype and fear, making it seem like human roles are disappearing. The truth is, most AI tools today are more like advanced assistants than full-fledged replacements. They still need people who can understand, guide, and debug them.
Economic Headwinds: Layoffs in the tech sector over the past year have flooded the market with highly skilled, experienced professionals, making the competition even tougher.
The struggle you're facing is not a reflection of your worth or the value of your education. It's a sign of a genuinely difficult economic and technological moment.
What's Next?
This is a marathon, not a sprint. While it feels discouraging right now, there are still ways to navigate this. Here's a thought: use this time to your advantage.
Keep Your Skills Sharp: While you're on the road, you can still be building. Set aside a few hours a week to work on a personal project, learn a new framework, or contribute to an open-source project. This shows future employers that you're passionate and proactive, not just waiting for a job.
Tailor Your Applications: Mass-applying to hundreds of jobs can be exhausting and often yields poor results. Instead, try to be more strategic. Pick a few roles that genuinely interest you, and customize your resume and cover letter for each one. Highlight specific skills from the job description and connect them to your projects and coursework.
Network, Network, Network: Many jobs are found through connections, not cold applications.
1 Connect with people on LinkedIn who work at companies you admire. Reach out and ask for an "informational interview" (a 15-minute chat to learn about their career path), which is much less pressure than asking for a job.
You're not delivering burritos because you wasted your degree. You're delivering burritos because you’re a hard-working person doing what it takes to get by during a tough time. That says more about your character than any job title ever could. You've got this.
What kind of projects did you work on during your degree? Sometimes, a portfolio can be a powerful tool to stand out.