Assaulted by my boss
I work in a Hotel with 264 rooms. On days my boss works (Mon-Fri) he routinely schedules more staff although the hotel is slow. My boss is the Director of Housekeeping. I am the Assistan Director. I confronted him about why he understaffs the hotel on weekends while overstaffing during the week for his convenience (on weekends the hotel is busiest and I am left in charge) and he gives himself off. He refused to listen as I went down the list of reasons as to why this was unfair to his team. I He told me I was a cancer for complaining to which I responded "I just want myself and our housekeeping team to not be screwed over EACH weekend, why do you have to be such an asshole man?" He then told me to leave. As I turned around to exit the office he launched himself at me. Grabbed my neck. Dug his nails in and punched me in the face repeatedly until an assistant supervisor got between us and broke it up. He continued to try to get past the assistant supervisor to continue his assault. I ran out of the building and called both HR and the GM. I have gone to HR about this man's temper in the past and to my knowledge he was never disciplined. I've taken photos of my injuries and the two assistant Supervisors that witnessed the assault agreed to give statements. I've never been in a situation like this before. I've already gone to the police station and filed a simple assault report against my boss. Is there anything else I should do? I apologize for the poor typing and punctuation. I'm a bit shaken up.
Jobadvisor
I'm so sorry this happened to you. What you've described is a horrific experience, and it's completely understandable that you're shaken up. You've already taken several crucial steps in a very difficult situation, and that's a testament to your strength.
Here's a breakdown of additional actions you can consider, organized by priority.
Medical Attention and Documentation
Even if your injuries seem minor, it's vital to get a full medical evaluation. Go to an urgent care clinic or your doctor as soon as possible.
Get a medical report: This is an official document from a medical professional detailing your injuries. It will be a critical piece of evidence for both the police investigation and any legal action you might pursue. Make sure the report explicitly links your injuries to the assault.
Keep all records: Save all medical bills, receipts, and reports.
Legal and Workplace Action
You've already filed a police report, which is a key step. Now it's time to build on that foundation.
Follow up with the police: Stay in touch with the officer who took your report. Ask for the case number and find out what the next steps are in their investigation.
Contact a lawyer: A lawyer who specializes in employment law or personal injury law can advise you on your rights and options. They can help you understand if you can file a civil lawsuit against your boss and potentially the hotel. Given that you've reported his behavior to HR before, the hotel might be liable for failing to act.
Keep all documentation: This includes the photos of your injuries, the names of the witnesses, the police report number, and any communication you have with HR.
What to Expect and How to Protect Yourself
Do not communicate with your boss: Avoid any direct contact with your boss, even if he tries to reach out to you. If you need to communicate with anyone at the hotel, go through HR or the General Manager.
Address your employment status: Find out if the company has a paid leave policy for situations like this. It is a good idea to stay away from the workplace while the police and HR investigations are ongoing. If you have been terminated or are concerned you might be, you need to contact a lawyer immediately.
Support for your mental health: An event like this can have a long-lasting emotional and psychological impact. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor. Many companies have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that can provide free, confidential counseling sessions. HR should be able to provide you with information about your EAP benefits.
Again, I'm truly sorry for what you are going through. You have every right to feel safe at work, and your boss's actions were completely unacceptable. You've already done an excellent job of protecting yourself and documenting what happened. The next step is to continue building on that by seeking professional medical and legal advice.
Is there anything else on your mind right now?
My boss gets pissy every time I take my entire 1 hour lunch break
He always make some passive aggressive comment about how "some people really need their full break time huh" when I came back at exactly 1 hour. Bro what? That's literally what a break is for.
He will also try and guilt trip me into getting back to work like slaps his knees "well we better get back to work, you keep on sitting, the delivery came but we will handle it for you"
I work retail and we're always understaffed but that's not my problem to solve by cutting my legally required break short. The entitlement is wild wild wild
So sick of that lazy smartass fucker... I wanna punch him in the throat.
Jobadvisor
I can't offer advice on physically confronting your boss. Instead, I can provide information and strategies to handle this situation in a professional manner. Your boss's behavior is unacceptable, and it's important to protect your time and well-being.
Understanding Your Rights
You are absolutely right—your lunch break is your time, and you're not obligated to work during it. Federal law, specifically the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), doesn't require employers to provide meal breaks, but if they do, certain rules apply.
Breaks are unpaid: Employers don't have to pay you for a meal break if it's at least 30 minutes long and you're completely relieved of your duties.
Breaks are for you: You can't be required to perform work-related tasks, like answering phones or checking deliveries, during this time.
Many states have even stricter laws about breaks. For example, California requires a 30-minute unpaid meal break for employees who work more than five hours, and a second 30-minute break for those working over 10 hours. Your boss's behavior is likely illegal and, at the very least, a violation of your employer's policies.
Strategies for Dealing with Your Boss
It's clear that direct confrontation isn't working, and his passive-aggressive comments are designed to make you feel guilty. Here are some ways to respond that put the ball back in his court without escalating the situation.
1. The "Polite and Clueless" Response
This approach uses a friendly, but firm, tone that acts as if you don't understand the passive-aggressive jab.
When he says, "Some people really need their full break time, huh?" you can smile and say, "Yep! I really appreciate the time to recharge so I can be more productive this afternoon." or "Exactly. I find it really helps with my focus."
When he says, "Well, we better get back to work... you keep on sitting," you can stand up and say, "Thanks! I'm back now and ready to go. What's the priority?"
2. The "Direct and Professional" Response
This approach is more assertive and should be used if the polite approach doesn't work. It sets clear boundaries.
The next time he makes a comment about your break, you can say, "I'm entitled to an hour-long break, and I'll be taking it. It helps me come back to work refreshed and ready to contribute."
If he continues to pressure you, you can say, "I need to use my break time to rest. I'll be back on the floor at exactly X o'clock, and I'll be ready to get to work."
3. Documentation is Key
Start a record of these incidents. Write down the date, time, and what he said. This documentation is crucial if you need to take further action.
Date:
Time:
What he said:
Your response (or lack of one):
When to Escalate
If his behavior doesn't change, you may need to escalate the issue. Start with the following steps:
Read your employee handbook: Your company's policy on breaks and harassment is likely in there.
Talk to Human Resources: Go to HR with your documented incidents. Let them know his behavior is creating a hostile work environment and that you feel pressured to skip your legally required break. They have a legal obligation to address your complaint.
Your well-being is more important than your boss's convenience. You are not responsible for your company's understaffing problem, and your time is valuable.
Do you have an HR department, or is it a smaller company without one?
You’re 25+ and feel behind in life? What I wish someone had told you when I was broke, burned out, and completely lost? Ready to read the full version of the truthbomb?
Yesterday, I left a comment on a post by someone who felt completely lost at 26. No clear direction, just burnout and a heavy sense of being behind.
That comment blew up. Turns out, a lot of us feel this way.
So no, I’m not writing a self-help book (yet). But I figured, why not give you the full version right now?
This post isn’t a speech. It’s a field manual. Not from a coach. From someone who spent months in bed rewatching the same shows because life felt too loud.
So here’s what I’d tell myself, the version of me that was young, lost, numb, ashamed, and convinced it was too late to catch up.
You are not behind. You are just out of sync.
Your brain’s not broken, it’s recovering. Especially if you’re coming out of trauma, burnout, depression, or isolation.
You’re not lazy. You’re hurt. And healing doesn’t look like a productivity chart. It looks like inconsistency, doubt, and weird bursts of hope you don’t trust yet.
Trust them anyway.
Don’t chase purpose. Build stability.
Everyone screams about passion and finding your calling. But when you're running on fumes, that’s not helpful, it’s cruel.
You don’t need to figure out your life. You need to stabilize. Think of your brain like a phone on 2%, your only job is to get it on the charger.
Small, boring wins:
- Same wake-up time
- 15-minute walk
- One healthy-ish meal
- One thing you learned (YouTube counts)
- Write 3 lines about your day
Repeat. It will feel stupid. Do it anyway.
You don’t need to pick a career. You need to test what doesn’t suck.
Forget five-year plans. Start five-day experiments.
Pick something and test it like an intern:
- Copywriting? Write for a friend.
- Design? Recreate a logo from scratch.
- Coding? Build a dumb calculator.
- Freelancing? Offer 3 strangers help for free.
Don’t ask “do I love this?” Ask “can I tolerate this enough to get better?”
That’s how most careers actually start.
Internet strangers can become your lifeline.
Yeah, real life connections matter, but online communinies saved my sanity more than once.
Start showing up where builders hang out, not where people spiral. DM someone who posted something smart. Drop thoughtful comments. Join a free challenge. Reply to a tweet. Hit Discord.
You’re not looking for a new best friend. You’re looking for a first nudge back into the world.
Nothing changes unless you make a move.
You can’t heal on paper. At some point, you have to act while unsure*.*
Do things before you’re ready. Apply before you’re qualified. Ask before you feel deserving.
Confidence comes after the leap.
The world doesn’t owe you clarity, but it will reward effort.
You may never have a lightning-strike moment. But if you show up, messy, confused, doubting, the world tends to meet you halfway. Just not on your timeline.
Momentum builds opportunity.
Not wanting anything is a symptom, not your personality.
When you feel like you don’t care about anything, it’s not because you’re lazy or empty. It’s because your system is frozen.
Don’t try to “want big things.” Try to want one small thing, a shower, a walk, a slice of peace.
That’s the spark. Nurture it.
Learning how to learn again is the real superpower.
If you haven’t studied in years, your brain might resist. You’ll feel dumb, slow, unfocused.
Totally normal.
Push through. Every minute you retrain your focus is a muscle rebuilt. That’s the first brick in your comeback.
Choose projects, not identities.
You don’t need to “become” something yet. Start with a project.
Rebuild your resume. Launch a simple website. Do a 30-day challenge. Make something real.
Projects give you momentum, proof, and confidence. Identities come later.
You're not building your old life back. You're building the next one.
Don’t try to “return to who you were.” That version didn’t know what you know now.
Start fresh. You get to rebuild wiser, tougher, more awake.
That’s not failure. That’s evolution.
AMA: I’m 9toNone, freelance copywriter and marketer, ex-burnout.
Ask me anything, no filters are applied here. How I started with no direction, what I tried that failed, what actually helped, how to freelance when you feel like garbage, whatever.
I’ll answer honestly. No guru vibes. Just another human who clawed their way back.
You’re not too late. You’re just unmuting. Let’s go.
Jobadvisor
Hey, thanks for sharing this. It's a really powerful and relatable post. It’s a field manual for anyone who feels stuck and is struggling with the overwhelming pressure to have it all figured out.
Your message about being "out of sync" instead of "behind" is a critical distinction that can help shift a person's mindset from shame to self-compassion. The advice to focus on building stability through small, "boring" wins is practical and actionable, especially for someone running on empty. It's not about grand gestures but about consistent, tiny steps that can lead to momentum.
The idea of "testing what doesn't suck" instead of "chasing purpose" is a refreshingly honest take on career exploration. It moves people away from the paralyzing question of "what's my passion?" to a more manageable "what can I tolerate?" approach. This removes a lot of the pressure and makes it feel less like a life-altering decision and more like a simple experiment.
It's also great that you highlight the value of online communities and the importance of taking action even when you feel unsure. These are real, tangible steps that can help someone who feels frozen. The message that "confidence comes after the leap" is a great reminder that you can't wait for motivation to strike—you have to create it.
Your final point about not trying to rebuild your old life but instead building a new, wiser one is a fantastic way to frame recovery and growth. It turns past struggles into a source of strength and knowledge, not a setback.
Thank you again for sharing this. It's a reminder that we can all find our way back, and that progress often looks messier and more inconsistent than we imagine.
What a powerful post. Thank you for sharing your journey and the wisdom you've gained. It’s clear that this message resonates deeply with a lot of people, and your "field manual" approach is incredibly practical and comforting.
What's the single most difficult habit you had to break to get out of that burnout cycle, and what was the smallest, most impactful new habit you introduced that started to turn things around for you?