What do you do when you’re turning 30 with no options?

0

 


What do you do when you’re turning 30 with no options?


I have severe depression to the point that I don’t know what I could possibly do to make me happy. I have some money saved, but I’m working part-time at a grocery store, living with my parents, no life skills, no friends, no car, driving gives me a lot of anxiety.

I don’t know what step to take because it feels like I’m too far behind to even begin. I imagine having the typical young adult life of living on an apartment in the city, always going out with something to do. But I just don’t know if I can.


Jobadvisor

It sounds like you’re in a place where you’re carrying two big loads at once — the weight of depression, and the weight of feeling “behind” in life. Those are both heavy on their own, and when they stack up, it can feel impossible to move at all. But the fact you’re here asking how to move forward is already a sign that some part of you is still looking for a path out. That’s important.

Here’s how I’d break it down so it doesn’t feel like you have to go from “here” to “perfect city life” in one leap:

1. Separate the depression from the life goals

Depression can make even small steps feel pointless or impossible. If you try to fix everything in life while depression is still heavy, it’s like trying to run a marathon with ankle weights.

  • If you’re not already, think about professional help — therapist, psychiatrist, support group.

  • Even a short course of therapy or medication adjustment can open a little space for energy and hope to get in.

  • Depression often lies by telling you nothing will help. Challenge that lie by doing one tiny, doable thing daily (shower, walk outside, write a sentence about how you feel).

2. Trade the “perfect end goal” for “next visible step”

Right now, imagining a city apartment and vibrant social life is like staring at the top of a mountain from the valley — it feels impossible because you’re looking at all the steps at once.
Instead:

  • Pick one life skill to learn. This could be cooking a simple meal, budgeting, or basic computer literacy.

  • Give yourself permission to start badly. Mastery isn’t the point — momentum is.

  • When you succeed at a small skill, you get two benefits: confidence and proof that you can change your life in increments.

3. Design a “low-anxiety growth plan”

Because driving is stressful, you could focus on options that don’t require it at first:

  • Learn online skills (basic remote work, coding, design, customer service) while at home.

  • Volunteer in walking distance or in places accessible by public transport.

  • Join interest-based online communities where you can make low-pressure connections before meeting anyone in person.

4. Shift your mental frame about being “behind”

You’re not late — you’re just on a different timeline.
Lots of people reinvent themselves at 30, 40, even 60. The difference between those who do and those who don’t isn’t age — it’s whether they start.
Instead of thinking, I’m so far behind, try:

  • I haven’t followed the usual route, but I still get to build my own one step at a time.

5. Start a “one-year experiment”

Instead of pressuring yourself to “fix your life forever,” give yourself permission to experiment for 12 months:

  • Month 1–2: Work on mental health first.

  • Month 3–4: Learn one skill that could lead to income.

  • Month 5–6: Try a new social activity (online or in-person).

  • Month 7–12: Gradually add independence steps (money management, transportation, housing).
    By framing it as an experiment, you lower the pressure and make it about curiosity rather than perfection.


What should I do?


I'm 17. 2 months out of high school. 100% this question has been asked probably thousands of times on here. And I'm here to add 1 more to that list I guess. Unfortunately I feel like you guys need to hear a bit of who I am before you guys can properly give me advice so sorry if this post becomes extremely long. I'm also sorry if this gets a bit heavy. I've had depression since I was 7 or 8. That has shaped my life heavily throughout my teenage years. I don't blame it on my family though. Or anyone for that matter. I don't even really remember how I became depressed. Or if there was even a reason at all. Maybe isolation? Or a need of being noticed? I'm not sure. It's not like my parents were bad parents. They took care of me. But we're an Asian family. And I don't mean to say that all Asian families are like this. But some stereotypes are there for a reason. My family never really... understood what it's like to be close, I guess. They would provide for me. And they have communicated to me that they do care for me. But there's still that distance. If that makes sense.

Anyways, It got really bad when I was between 10-13. At that point I started taking it out on others. Something I'm still disgusted by today. Luckily I don't think I ever crossed a line. But it still sickens me to think of some of the things I said or did to other kids back then. During this period, I attempted a few times. Half heartedly though. I don't think I had it in me to fully go through with it. But I was teetering on the edge there for awhile.

The first 2 years of high school had me even more isolated. My friends weren't there anymore. All to different schools. As shallow as our relationship was. It still sucked not having them there. This was also at the height of covid too. For the first two years, I think I was just going through the motions. Not really living.

It was at the third year that things started changing for me. I reconnected with an old friend from elementary and also made a new one. That new one introduced me to their friends and just like that, I was now in a friend group. Their influence throughout the years helped me massively. Another thing that helped me massively was surprisingly, the internet. Youtube, Anime, Manga, Video games. I was always a curious kid, so I ended up taking in alot of the lessons these influencers and shows were teaching. The good ones at least, I had a blessed enough childhood to be able to tell right from wrong and steered clear of some of the more bad influences.

So with all of this in mind. My forth and 5th year (also final year) of high school were a slow bit steady progress of me finally recognizing and improving my depression. I think I denied my depression for a very long time. I wanted to be normal and told myself there was nothing wrong with me. But once I recognized that there was something wrong and took steps to help myself was when I started to actually improve. Obviously I'm still suffering the effects of my mental health even now. I don't want to make it seem like it was that easy to just... stop depression. I still suffer from it, but to a way less extent I think. Halfway through this improvement, I started thinking about what I wanted to do in the future. Because well... I was almost done high school and needed to start thinking about who I wanted to be. That was when I started thinking of others I guess. That's the best way I can put it. I started to realize how truly blessed I was. How lucky I am. My life could have been way worse. I had depression yes, but I could have had bad or abusive parents. Or I could have spent my entire life with no friends at all. I was lucky that when I tried to seek help. I actually received it. So that line of thinking finally had me thinking about all the people that didn't have that. All of the people who still suffer from mental issues like me. But was too afraid to speak out and get help. Or even worse, never received any even after seeking it out. That's the thing that keeps me up at night nowadays.

So with all of that and with teachers and my parents starting to talk about what I want to be in the future. I finally came to the conclusion that I want to truly help people. Specifically people suffering from the conditions that I was. I hate the thought of someone else going through that. My dream job then was to become a phycologist. To be able to speak one to one with them and show them that people do care. Now, I'm not stupid. Obviously I know I can't just help everyone. But knowing what I know now and not doing anything with the knowledge that others are suffering the same thing I did just doesn't sit right with me. So that's why I want to dedicate my life to helping others. Even if it's only a few or one. I know how cringy this all feels. It sounds like an anime protagonist giving a speech about friendship and hope and all that. And my views in life can 100% change down the road. But for now, I want to hold on to this idealistic optimism.

Although I quickly realized my dream to become a phycologist was just a dream. Unfortunately, I'm not smart enough for it. Or more specifically, I'm not school smart enough. I love learning. I always have. Learning something new even if it's mundane or small always excited me. No matter the subject. But the way schools teach people just never really worked for me. So my grades were always horrible. And to be a phycologist... well. That's locked behind some pretty big things we call degrees and certificates. But I know that's not the only way I can directly help someone. So I started thinking of other career paths.

Just like how entertainment and media helped me massively through my depression. It can just as easily help others. So I thought the entertainment industry could be worth it. I had a massive interest in how things like movies and anime and video games were made and I could easily see myself going down that path. But I know that the entertainment industry can be... soul crashing at times. And you might not be able to really fulfill your dream exactly as you wanted. So while it's a career path I can see myself going down. (i.e. voice acter, normal acter, producer etc) It’s not at the top of my list.

The career I'm currently thinking of is to be a social worker. As that sounds exactly like the type of job I'm looking for. But it's not locked behind years and years of schooling. For me, right now. It's between those two career paths. A part of me really wants to go down the entertainment career path. But I know the odds of me succeeding there are so extremely low. So a part of me is scared to really dive fully in. But I have always wanted to create something that can give someone that same feeling of hope I got when I watched certain shows or played certain games. Or even just to give them a laugh throughout the day. I think that's the career path I truly want to go down. But then being a social worker is also a career path I want to go down as well. I ended up taking a gap year to think about it. And am currently... doing nothing. Which makes me feel pretty useless. Since I'm constantly hearing of my friends getting accepted into college or uni. Or getting paid doing part time work. (I tried to look for some but so far no luck) I know many other students take gap years so it's not something to be embarrassed about. But it still feels shitty when I'm the only one who doesn't really have a plan yet in my group.

So anyways, after all of that. I can finally get to the question. What should I do? I can't seem to decide between the two career paths. And I'm also thinking of others like teacher or musician but those aren't really high on my list which is why I didn't mention them. I guess I'm looking for a new perspective. Maybe someone with experience in the industries I'm thinking of going down can shade some light on what it's like? And if my main goal of helping others is still achievable? Or maybe there's another career path out there that fulfills all of my requirements that I'm completely missing. To be honest, I'm not really fully sure what I'm looking for when I make this post. I guess I'm just hoping it can give me a little push or clarity. Or to get me to think more.

I will again apologize for this post being so long. Maybe I should have just said that I'm a teenager wondering about where to go and leave it at that. But all of this is written now. So I might as well send it. To anyone that reads this all the way through. Thank you. And sorry. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts.


Jobadvisor

I read all of what you wrote, and honestly, I think you’ve already done something really important: you’ve stepped back and deeply reflected on who you are, where you’ve been, and what you care about. That’s more than a lot of people do before they’re thirty. So first—credit where it’s due—you’re not “doing nothing.” You’re processing, learning, and laying the groundwork for your next move.

Here’s how I see your situation:

1. You have a clear why

Your main driver is wanting to help people—specifically people who are going through dark places like you have. That’s powerful, because your “why” can be met through multiple career paths, not just one specific job. You’re not trapped in a binary choice (social work vs entertainment)—you could combine them, or explore other roles you haven’t considered yet.

2. Social work vs. entertainment – reality check

Social work:

  • Pros: Direct impact, stable career path, training requirements are shorter than psychology (usually 2–4 years), lots of job opportunities.

  • Cons: Emotionally heavy work, burnout risk is real, the system can be frustrating and bureaucratic. You’ll need to protect your own mental health.

Entertainment / creative work:

  • Pros: Massive potential reach, can inspire, comfort, or make people feel less alone. Creative freedom (in some roles).

  • Cons: Unstable income, highly competitive, often requires years before earning a living wage. You need persistence and a backup plan.

What this means: You might not have to “pick” one forever—you can train in one and pursue the other on the side until you’re in a position to merge them. For example: a social worker who makes mental health content, or a voice actor who also volunteers with a youth hotline.

3. Other career ideas that fit your goal

Since your core goal is helping others with mental health struggles, here are a few you might not have considered:

  • Peer support specialist (lived-experience-based mental health support; often less schooling needed than psychology/social work)

  • Occupational therapy assistant (helps people get back to daily life after challenges, sometimes with mental health focus)

  • Community outreach coordinator (nonprofits that focus on mental health, youth work, or crisis prevention)

  • Content creator / educator in mental health (YouTube, podcasts, games that tackle mental health themes)

  • Art therapy / drama therapy (if you like the creative arts side, these merge it with psychology—but require specific training)

4. What to do during your gap year so it’s not “doing nothing”

Right now, the worst trap is decision paralysis. You don’t have to know your forever career this year—you just need to gather enough info and experiences to make the next step clearer.

Some ideas:

  • Volunteer in a setting related to both interests (youth programs, theatre groups, community radio, mental health organizations).

  • Take one or two short courses (community college, online platforms like Coursera or Skillshare) in both social work basics and creative production—see which lights you up.

  • Shadow someone—email local social workers or small production studios, ask if you can observe for a day or interview them about their work.

  • Start a small creative project (short film, podcast, or story) aimed at helping people feel less alone—test how it feels to actually create for others.

  • Get part-time work anywhere you can—it builds skills and confidence, and helps you fund your next steps.

5. A note on “not smart enough”

You wrote that you’re “not school smart enough” for psychology. I want to push back here—struggling in traditional school doesn’t mean you can’t do challenging academic work. Sometimes it’s the format, not the content, that makes things hard. Plenty of people who barely passed high school have thrived in the right college environment because they found subjects that actually mattered to them. If you still want psychology later, you can get there with alternative pathways.

6. Decision-making mindset

Think of your career like a game where you unlock new levels. You don’t need to know Level 50 right now. You just need to pick Level 1 that:

  • Feels meaningful

  • Teaches transferable skills

  • Gets you closer to your why

From there, you can always pivot.

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post