Your brother covers your rent. Mom picks up the grocery bill. Dad helps with car repairs. These everyday financial favors may seem small, but they’re part of a much larger and often overlooked system—one that adds up to an estimated $52 billion in informal loans and support. And while these exchanges can be lifelines during tough times, many families say they come at a cost to their relationships.
According to a new survey by JG Wentworth of 1,267 U.S. adults, more than half have borrowed money from family or friends. But nearly half of those who’ve done so say it led to serious conflicts, and three out of four report that the relationship was never quite the same afterward.
With U.S. credit card balances topping $1.18 trillion as of early 2025, it's understandable that many turn to their inner circle before turning to lenders. Yet, borrowing from loved ones can lead to long-term emotional fallout that outlasts the debt itself.
Who People Turn to for Help—and How Much They Borrow
When money is tight, family is the first place many people turn. According to the survey, the top sources of financial help were:
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Parents (77.7%)
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Siblings (75.8%)
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Grandparents (75.7%)
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Cousins (75.5%)
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Aunts (73.7%)
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Uncles (73.4%)
By contrast, only 2.8% said they would ask a friend, and just 2.0% would ask a romantic partner.
Nearly half (48.3%) said they would feel comfortable asking a family member for money with no expectation of repayment—compared to just 1.1% who said the same of friends. In fact, 45.5% said they’d prefer taking out a formal loan or using credit instead of borrowing from personal connections.
On average, respondents borrowed $297 from friends or family—and still owed $237. About 50.3% of those with outstanding balances said they worried they might never be able to repay the full amount.
Good Intentions, Bad Outcomes
The informal nature of these loans often causes tension. Among those who lent money:
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54.5% said they had to ask more than once for repayment
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49.5% never set a timeline for repayment
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49.9% never put the agreement in writing
As a result, many ended up losing money. Just over half (50.4%) said their loan was never fully repaid. Women appeared slightly more likely than men to let debts slide to preserve the relationship (57.7% vs. 50.3%).
Nearly half of lenders (48.1%) considered legal action to recover the money, but ultimately decided against it.
The Long-Term Relationship Damage
Borrowing and lending among loved ones can have lasting emotional consequences. Among those who participated in such arrangements:
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46.6% said it led to serious arguments
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Only 4.1% said there were no issues
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75.1% said they were not as close afterward
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71.3% experienced a communication breakdown
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71.0% reported estrangement
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69.9% said it hurt their personal financial stability
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69.1% said the relationship ended completely
When interest was involved, the average rate was 3.21%—lower than credit card rates, but still a point of stress in already sensitive situations.
Survey Methodology
The survey was conducted by JG Wentworth on June 13, 2025, with 1,267 U.S. participants. The gender breakdown was 49.5% women and 50.5% men. Respondents skewed younger, with 45.6% aged 18–28 and 52.0% aged 29–44. Nearly half (46.6%) reported earning under $25,000 per year. Some questions allowed multiple answers, so totals may exceed 100%.