28 years old, just quit my full time job, my mom has cancer, don’t have many friends/community… lost 💔
Hi Reddit, I feel like I need to scream into the void for a few moments. Thank you for reading if you decide to read through this long rant.
I’m 28F years old and I feel so incredibly lost in life. 2 and a half years ago, I went thru my first and worst break up and while it was difficult to stand on my own two feet, I eventually found a job where I was able to support myself without my parents help. I have a bachelors degree in English Literature, so the majority of my job experience in the past 3 years has been in the marketing space.
My job history at this point is laughable. I’ve roughly held 3 jobs in the last 3 years, staying a year per job each and I feel at this point, employers don’t want to touch me with a 10 foot pole. I’ve made lateral moves with the last 2 jobs and at this point I don’t want to be in the marketing space anymore. I’ve figured out this isn’t the right industry for me and I’d like to take a step back to figure out what it is that I want for myself. After a span of deep reflection, I put in my two weeks and now I’m unemployed.
1 and a half month ago, my mom and I found out she was diagnosed with cancer and my world shattered. Reader, if you only knew what our lives have been like for the past 5 years, this news was truly devastating. My mom mentioned to me right before her diagnosis that the only thing she wants moving forward in life is peace and then this comes. I’m currently in one of the worst depressed seasons of my life and it’s been Hell watching my best friend gradually get sick and sicker.
I don’t have many friends as I’ve spent a majority of my life in front of a computer screen. I’m introverted by nature but the pandemic completely fucked my social skills and I’ve never truly recovered.
I truly dont know what to do at this point but I just want to be happy and all I can think about is how something is actively trying to kill my mom and I don’t know what the fuck to do with my life. I’m truly just looking for a reason to continue living. If anyone has any advice or words of encouragement. It would be great.
Jobadvisor
Hey there. I hear you, and thank you for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to be this vulnerable and honest, and I want you to know that what you're feeling is completely valid. It's an overwhelming amount of weight to carry—navigating a career transition, dealing with your mom's cancer, and feeling disconnected from a community. It makes perfect sense that you're feeling lost and shattered.
Give Yourself Grace
First, take a deep breath. You are not a failure. You are a person in immense pain, and your priority right now is not to figure out your entire life, but to simply get through the day. The world will still be here when you are ready to face it.
It's easy to look at your job history and feel like you've failed, but try to reframe it. Each job was a stepping stone, a lesson that helped you realize what you don't want. This insight is incredibly valuable. It’s not a sign of instability; it's a sign of self-awareness. You were brave enough to leave situations that weren't serving you, and that's a strength, not a weakness.
Your mom's diagnosis is a crushing blow, and the grief you're feeling is a heavy burden. It's okay to not be okay. The desire to find a reason to continue living is a powerful one, and you've already found a huge reason: your mom. While it's hard to watch her suffer, being present with her, even just to hold her hand or watch a movie, is a reason to keep going. You are her comfort, her peace, and her strength in this difficult time, and that's a purpose more meaningful than any job.
Small, Manageable Steps
You don’t have to solve everything at once. Focus on one small thing at a time. Here are a few ideas to get started:
1. Be Present with Your Mom. You mentioned she's your best friend. This time with her is precious. Forget about resumes and job searches for a little while. Instead, focus on creating moments of peace and connection. Watch her favorite TV show with her, cook her a meal, or simply sit and talk. These small acts of love are a form of healing for both of you.
2. Focus on Your Well-being. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it’s essential. Grief and depression can be exhausting. Try to incorporate small, simple habits into your day. A short walk outside, a few minutes of meditation, or even just making sure you've had a glass of water can make a difference. Even just sitting in the sun for 10 minutes can help.
3. Seek Community. Your feeling of isolation is real, but it doesn't have to be permanent. Remember, you're not the only one feeling this way. There are support groups for people whose parents have cancer—both online and in person. You might also find a community through a hobby you enjoy, like a book club, a hiking group, or a volunteering opportunity.