My partner and her family severely underestimate how bad the job market is
I've (36M) been out of work for a few months now, and before then only temp and short term contract work here and there for the better part of a year and now I'm facing eviction. My partner is adamant that my inability to find work is due to inaction; that if I walk into places and ask if they're hiring, I would be hired on the spot (I've done this and they tell me to apply online) or that physically going into a staffing agency opposed to submitting online will greatly increase my chances of finding work (I've gone into several, and after weeks, ghosted). Because of this, her family has completely turned on me as well and have the same way of thinking: I'm not doing enough, so she should leave me.
I apply to about a hundred places per day and receive hundreds of rejections right back. I've applied to literally every job level that I can think of from fast food, to janitor, to security guard, to garbage collector up to administrative and customer service positions that I'm qualified for that every single job board tells me I would be a "top applicant". I've had multiple recruiters tell me I'd be a great fit and then I get rejected. I've gotten multiple promising interviews that ultimately go nowhere. I've been ghosted. I've tailored my resume with the help of multiple people and online resume builders.
I've been on the waitlist for just about every delivery gig app (Flex, Spark, Roadie) for so long that my driver's license is now expired and I can't afford to renew it.
Besides robbing a bank, I really don't know what more to do, but I know for a fact that none of this is due to my lack of trying, cuz GAHDAMN am I trying.
Any advice/tips are appreciated.
Edit: I don't have a college degree, just a high school diploma with a few years of college, I have a background with years of experience in mortgage retail, as well as customer service/administrative/clerical
My wife does not come from money, in fact her family struggled most of her childhood; she's a nurse and finding work for her is relatively easy
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you're in an incredibly tough and frustrating situation, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling desperate. It's truly disheartening when your efforts aren't recognized, especially by those closest to you. Please know that your experience is unfortunately very common in the current job market, and it's not a reflection of your worth or your effort.
Here's a breakdown of the current job market realities and some advice, keeping in mind your background and the challenges you're facing:
Understanding the Current Job Market
Your partner and her family's perspective, while painful for you, is likely born from a misunderstanding of how the job market operates today. The idea that simply "walking into places" or physically visiting staffing agencies guarantees a job is largely outdated for many industries.
High Competition: Many entry-level and administrative positions receive hundreds, if not thousands, of applications. Even for jobs you're "overqualified" for, you're competing with a vast pool of candidates, including those with degrees or more specialized experience.
Automated Systems: Most companies use Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) to filter resumes. This means your resume needs to be highly optimized with keywords from the job description to even be seen by a human. Applying online is almost always the required first step.
"Ghosting" is Common: Unfortunately, many companies do not notify unsuccessful candidates, especially after initial applications or even interviews. This lack of communication can be incredibly frustrating.
Changing Hiring Practices: The hiring landscape has shifted dramatically. Networking, online presence, and specific skills often weigh more heavily than just showing up in person.
"Experience Trap": Even for entry-level positions, many employers are looking for some level of prior experience, creating a difficult cycle for those trying to get their foot in the door.
Strategies and Tips to Consider
Given your situation, here are some actionable steps and shifts in approach you might consider:
1. Refine Your Job Search Strategy
Hyper-Tailor Resumes (Even More): You mentioned tailoring your resume, but for every single application, try to incorporate keywords directly from the job description. Even minor wording changes can make a difference with ATS. Consider using tools like Jobscan to analyze how well your resume matches a job description.
Cover Letters: While time-consuming, a brief, highly personalized cover letter for each application, even for entry-level roles, can set you apart. Focus on how your skills and experiences directly address the job's requirements, even if it's customer service experience for a janitorial role (e.g., "attention to detail," "reliability").
Networking (Beyond Applying): This is often the most effective but also the most challenging method.
Informational Interviews: Reach out to people in your network (friends, former colleagues, even distant acquaintances) who work in companies or roles you're interested in. Ask for 15-20 minutes of their time to learn about their job and industry, not to ask for a job directly. This can lead to referrals or unadvertised opportunities.
LinkedIn: Optimize your LinkedIn profile to mirror your resume. Actively connect with recruiters in your target industries, join relevant groups, and engage with posts. Many jobs are posted directly on LinkedIn, and recruiters often source candidates from there.
Community Groups/Local Events: Look for local job fairs, industry meetups (even if they seem out of reach, sometimes connections are made), or volunteer opportunities that could lead to connections.
2. Broaden Your Horizons and Skillset
Target Different Industries: With your customer service and administrative background, you have transferable skills. Think beyond what you've done.
Healthcare Support: Hospitals, clinics, and nursing homes always need administrative staff, receptionists, and patient transporters. Your partner, being a nurse, might have insights or connections here.
Logistics/Warehouse: These industries are often hiring for various roles, from administrative to hands-on, and value reliability.
Government Jobs: Local, state, and federal government agencies often have structured hiring processes and a wide range of roles that might align with your experience (e.g., clerk, administrative assistant). These can be stable jobs, but the application process can be lengthy.
Upskill (Free/Low Cost):
Online Courses: Platforms like Coursera, edX, or even YouTube offer free or affordable courses in valuable skills like data entry, Microsoft Office Suite (Excel, Word), Google Workspace, or basic IT support. Even a certificate in something like "Customer Relationship Management (CRM) Software" could boost your appeal.
Typing Speed/Accuracy: If you don't already, practice improving your typing speed and accuracy. Many administrative roles test this.
Volunteer Work: If feasible, consider volunteering for an organization a few hours a week. It can provide recent experience for your resume, new skills, and networking opportunities.
3. Address Immediate Financial Concerns and Resources
Driver's License Renewal: This is critical, especially for gig work. Look into any local community assistance programs, charities, or state-specific programs that might offer aid for essential document renewals. Contact your local DMV or equivalent to ask about payment plans or reduced fees if available. Without it, your options are severely limited.
Food Banks/Community Support: Don't hesitate to utilize food banks and other community resources for immediate needs. Many organizations offer assistance with utility bills, housing, and other necessities.
Temporary Staffing Agencies (In-Person Follow-Up): While you've tried them, it might be worth revisiting the ones that seemed more promising. Instead of just submitting online, follow up regularly with specific recruiters you've met. A polite email or call once a week to "check in" and reiterate your availability can sometimes keep you top of mind. Ask them directly what types of roles they are having success filling and if your skills align.
4. Managing Family Dynamics
This is perhaps the most challenging aspect.
Educate, Don't Defend: Instead of getting defensive, try to calmly share articles or statistics about the current job market. Show them the sheer volume of applications for jobs, the prevalence of ATS, and the challenges of "ghosting." Frame it as an educational conversation about modern hiring, not a personal failing.
Share Your Efforts (Visually): If you track your applications, show them. "Look, I applied to 120 jobs yesterday, and here are the 50 rejections I got this morning." Seeing concrete numbers might help.
Seek Support from Your Partner: While her family's opinion is influencing her, your partner is still your partner. Try to have an honest, vulnerable conversation with her about how her skepticism (and her family's) is impacting your mental health and making an already difficult situation even harder. Explain that you need her support and understanding, not judgment. You're a team facing a crisis.
Suggest a Session with a Career Counselor: If resources allow, perhaps a joint session with a career counselor who can validate your efforts and explain the market to all of you could be beneficial.
Important Reminder
Your mental health through all of this is paramount. The constant rejections and lack of understanding from your loved ones can be incredibly draining. Make sure you're finding small ways to de-stress and maintain your well-being. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
You are clearly putting in an immense amount of effort, and that effort will pay off eventually. Keep going.