I told my coworkers that I will not get service where I am staying for the next week and a half, to insure it will be a fully uninterrupted vacation.
I’ll be gone for almost two weeks. Yes. And I am staying in a cabin in the woods with my husband. Just to get some peace and quiet away from everything. The noise of our jobs. The noise of society.
But the “no service” part is a bit exaggerated.
I told my coworkers that if they think they’re going to need anything or have any questions, to let me know now because they will not be able to get ahold of me until I’m back on the 24th. This way if they do happen to text, or call, they can’t exactly get mad I’m not responding. At least not justifiably.
The truth is. I’m going to be at home a few days before and a few days after the cabin. The cabin is only a 4 night stay. And there’s WiFi. But we will not be using it as the whole point of this trip is to get away from as much human noise as possible.
There’s a decent chance they won’t need me for anything anyway. I’m not a high up role or anything. Just a CSR. But on the off chance someone tries to bother me during my time off? I mean, I did tell you guys I wouldn’t be able to respond. So…
I’ve just heard/read too many stories of people getting interrupted during their vacations with non-urgent work shit (they just think it’s urgent). And I’m making sure that does not happen.
Jobadvisor
That sounds like a fantastic plan! Completely disconnecting for a week and a half is a great way to ensure a truly uninterrupted and relaxing vacation. Your coworkers will probably be a little envious!
Enjoy your time off!
The n word was said today, how do I proceed?
Today the n word was said by my white male coworker. When he said it the GM and AGM both looked at me (I was the only black person there) with shock the laughed. They didn't reprimand him or anything just kept on saying "out of all the people you could say that infront of you shouldn't have said it infront of her." Which wasn't in a stern way but a joking way. He didn't call me the n word. It was it seemed as if they wanted me to correct him in a way? He tried to apologize and all I could respond with was "don't say that shit around me." He tried fist bumping me buy I just put my hand up and moved away. He tried again later as he could see I was pissed I just said "I'm glad your sorry but..." and moved away. What do I do? Sorry about the poor typing and wall of mess, I just don't how I should proceed?
Edit: I should probably clarify some things. He did not say it towards me. My real issue is how it was handled how the GM and AGM made jokes and kind of put it on me to correct him in away. I was just gonna ignore it and gaslight myself into thinking I heard him wrong. I came here looking for suggestions on how to handle something not get a lecture on how rap somehow lead to this. To me this word is a slur, that's it. I don't like it when black people say it as it perpetuates the use, and I don't like it when white people say it.
For context, I do make jokes with racial undertones but I don't just drop a slur. For example if I'm coming across as demanding to my GM I'll say "Wow have the tables have turned." But considering everything my hands are tied and I can't do anything so it is what it is. I also hear white people drop it around me all the time which in that case all I have to do is not be around them but in a job it's hard to do, so everyone saying I shouldn't get offended by everything, I just don't like the word and I understand a slur is a slur no matter how many songs I hear with it in there it will always be a slur to me.
Jobadvisor
First, I want to acknowledge that what you experienced is real, valid, and difficult. You were placed in a deeply uncomfortable and disrespectful situation, not just because the slur was said, but because the people with power in that moment — your GM and AGM — failed to step up and model appropriate behavior. Instead, they laughed and shifted the burden of response onto you, which is completely unacceptable.
Here’s a breakdown of your options and considerations moving forward, based on your boundaries and your values:
✅ 1. Document Everything
Before taking any action, write down exactly what happened while it’s fresh:
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Who said what, verbatim if possible.
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Who witnessed it.
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How they reacted.
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How it made you feel.
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The date and time.
This will help you if you decide to escalate the issue, and it protects you from being gaslit or having your experience rewritten by others.
⚠️ 2. Evaluate the Culture & Your Safety
This incident isn’t isolated from the broader workplace culture. It sounds like the environment allows — or even enables — casual racism under the guise of humor. That’s a serious problem. Ask yourself:
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Do I feel psychologically safe here?
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Is this worth addressing within the company or is it time to start planning my exit?
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Would escalating this put a target on me, and am I emotionally or financially prepared for that?
🗣️ 3. Speak to HR (If You Trust Them)
If your company has a Human Resources department and you think they might take it seriously:
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Bring your written account.
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Make it clear this isn’t about one word — it’s about a culture of racial insensitivity and failed leadership in that moment.
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You don’t need them to fire anyone (unless you want that) — but you can ask for:
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Anti-racism and workplace sensitivity training.
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A direct conversation with the GM/AGM and coworker, facilitated by HR.
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Clear messaging that this language and behavior is unacceptable.
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If HR is not trustworthy, or if there isn’t an HR department, consider…
📤 4. File an External Complaint
This could be through:
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EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) if you're in the U.S.
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A local human rights commission or workplace discrimination board.
This is especially useful if you're documenting a pattern and your company fails to address it internally.
🧍🏾♀️ 5. Reaffirm Your Boundaries
You already stood up for yourself by telling him, “Don’t say that shit around me.” That was strong, clear, and enough.
If he or others bring it up again or try to “make it better” with joking or awkwardness:
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You’re not obligated to make them feel better about it.
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You can say:
“I’m still not okay with what happened, and I don’t want to joke about it or keep talking about it. Let’s just keep it professional.”
That puts the onus back on them — where it belongs.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re not “too sensitive.”
And you’re not wrong for wanting a basic level of respect and decency in your workplace.
This isn’t just about one word — it’s about how power, race, and accountability are handled in your environment. You were put in an impossible position and handled it with integrity.
You’re not alone. Let me know if you want help drafting a message to HR or leadership, or even planning an exit strategy — I’ve got you.
Stay grounded.
After 35+ Years with My Company, I’m Suddenly Receiving Negative Feedback — What Should I Do This Late in My Career?
I’m 66 years old and have been with the same company for over 35 years. (Posting from a new Reddit account to protect my privacy, as this involves my current job.)
I’ve held many roles — warehouseman, driver, scheduler, warehouse manager, operations manager — and helped grow the company from ~30 employees to 180+ across two locations.
In 2020, we were acquired by a much larger company (6,000+ employees, 17+ U.S. locations). My role changed from Operations Manager to Analyst. I taught myself Power BI, SQL, and Snowflake to keep up with new expectations.
During my 2022 review, I was verbally promoted to Senior Analyst (due to salary cap), and given a raise — but I never received a written job description. My new title also wasn’t updated in org charts or internal systems. I brought it up once, but nothing happened. In 2023, I raised it again, and my title was finally reflected officially. That year, I again received a positive review and a raise.
Then came 2024.
Earlier this year, I made a comment in a Teams chat venting frustration about a Power BI bug. My manager responded sharply:
“I don’t understand what you’re working on — that has nothing to do with what we talked about.”
I explained I was venting and clarified that the issue was still related to the same dashboard (just not the same window). He seemed fine with the clarification, but afterward, I began sensing a change — colder tone in meetings, micromanagement, increased scrutiny.
Then came my 2024 annual review — and it was rough. For the first time in my career, I was rated poorly for: • Problem-solving • Timeliness • Meeting preparedness • Not fulfilling the responsibilities of my role
I was blindsided. During the review, I calmly pointed out that I’ve never been given a job description, despite being in this role for two years (only one of which was formally recognized by the company).
Why I’m Posting:
I’ve worked hard to stay relevant and effective through a major company acquisition. I’ve never received a negative review before this year. But now I feel like I’m being quietly pushed aside — or at the very least, judged unfairly without any clear expectations.
At this stage of my career, I’m torn. • Do I push harder for clarity and documentation? • Do I ride things out quietly until I retire (which may be in the next year or two)? • Should I explore opportunities outside the company, even at this stage in life?
Any advice or perspective — especially from others who’ve navigated late-career transitions or corporate acquisitions — would be appreciated.
Jobadvisor
Thank you for such a clear, thoughtful account. It’s very clear you care deeply about your work and have given decades of loyalty, adaptability, and value — and it’s no small thing that you taught yourself advanced analytics tools to keep up after the acquisition. That alone says a lot about your work ethic.
It’s also clear you’re facing something that, unfortunately, is very common after acquisitions and late in one’s career: a cultural shift and, quite possibly, ageism (even if indirect or subtle).
Below I’ll offer some practical advice, framed around your three big questions:
✅ 1️⃣ Should I push harder for clarity and documentation?
Yes — but strategically.
You have every right to know:
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Your actual job description
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Your real expectations
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The specifics behind negative feedback
Here’s how you can approach it:
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Request a 1:1 with your manager specifically to discuss expectations.
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Frame it constructively, e.g.:
“I want to make sure I’m fully aligned on expectations for this role. Could we clarify priorities and success measures? I want to address any gaps proactively.”
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Ask for them to document those expectations. Even a follow-up email summarizing the conversation can serve as your “paper trail.”
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Ask for specific examples of the poor ratings. E.g.:
“Could you help me understand what specific instances led to that rating, so I can address them?”
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Document all of these interactions on your side. Dates, what was said, any agreements.
Why do this?
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It forces clarity.
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It creates a record if you ever need to defend yourself to HR.
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It shows you’re being mature, proactive, and professional.
Even if you don’t plan to stay long-term, clarifying expectations can make your final months or years smoother.
✅ 2️⃣ Do I ride it out quietly until retirement?
You can — but I wouldn’t do so passively.
If you only have ~1–2 years left and don’t want the stress of looking elsewhere, that’s valid. But I’d still:
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Get the expectations clarified to avoid surprises.
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Ask about a plan for development or support if they feel you have gaps.
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Set boundaries if you feel micromanaged in ways that are counterproductive.
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Keep doing the good work you’ve always done, while documenting it.
Riding it out doesn’t mean rolling over. It means managing your exit on your own terms.
✅ 3️⃣ Should I explore opportunities outside the company, even at this stage in life?
It’s worth considering.
Age bias is real in the job market — but so is the value of experience. Many companies actually want people with institutional knowledge, reliability, and mentoring capability.
You could:
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Quietly see what’s out there on LinkedIn or via networking.
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Explore fractional, contract, or part-time analyst or operations roles.
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Consider consulting, if you have deep domain knowledge.
Even if you choose to stay where you are, having options is empowering.
✅ 4️⃣ The Big Picture
Your instincts are right: The issue is not that you suddenly became incompetent. The issue is:
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Cultural change post-acquisition (they might want different things, but didn’t define them well)
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Possible ageism, direct or indirect
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Poor management (no job description for 2 years is on them, not you)
You can’t change their behavior — but you can respond smartly.
✅ TL;DR - Suggested Next Steps
✔️ 1. Schedule a meeting to clarify your role and expectations.
✔️ 2. Ask for documentation of your responsibilities.
✔️ 3. Get specific feedback about negative ratings.
✔️ 4. Keep your own written records.
✔️ 5. Decide if you want to stay 1–2 more years — but don’t rule out looking elsewhere.
You’ve given them 35+ years. You deserve clarity and respect in return.
If you want, I can help you:
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Draft an email to request that expectations meeting
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Prepare talking points for your manager
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Brainstorm a job-search strategy for late-career roles
You don’t have to figure it out alone. Let me know how you’d like to proceed!