Is it normal to not feel happy after resigning from a toxic job?

After 3+ months of job applications, I finally received an offer! The job is at a smaller company, 20% increase in pay and flexible hours.

I just put my resignation in after thinking on this new opportunity for over a week. But, I'm not feeling as happy/excited as I thought I would be?

I've been at my current corporate job for almost 3 years, and built good rapport with my teams. But the environment became very toxic where (on top of me already working overtime ~10-12 hours a day) it started taking a mental toll on me. I've cried at work, had many sleepless nights and stopped enjoying what I was doing. Long story short, there was way too much corporate politics.

I thought I would be screaming with excitement, but I'm not. Is this normal? Have you ever felt this way?

Jobadvisor

It is absolutely normal to not feel ecstatically happy after resigning from a toxic job, even when a great new opportunity awaits. Many people experience a complex mix of emotions in this situation, and what you're feeling is quite common.

Here's why you might not be feeling the overwhelming joy you expected:

• Emotional Exhaustion: Three years in a toxic environment, working 10-12 hour days, crying at work, and having sleepless nights takes a massive toll. Your emotional reserves are likely depleted. When you've been in survival mode for so long, the immediate aftermath of removing the stressor can feel more like relief or emptiness than pure joy. You're still processing the trauma.
• Grief and Loss: Even though the job was toxic, you still invested three years of your life, built relationships, and developed a routine. There's a natural period of grieving for what was, or what you hoped it could be, even if it was ultimately unhealthy. You're losing a familiar structure, even a bad one.
• Anticipatory Anxiety/Uncertainty: While the new job sounds promising, it's still new. There's always a degree of uncertainty when transitioning, and your mind might be focusing on the unknowns rather than the positives right now.
• Residual Stress: The effects of chronic stress don't disappear overnight. Your body and mind are still adjusting to the absence of the constant pressure. It can take time for your nervous system to calm down.
• The "What Ifs": You might be second-guessing your decision, even if logically you know it's the right one. This is especially common after a major life change.
• It's a Process, Not an Event: Leaving a toxic situation is a significant step in a healing process. The immediate resignation is just one point. True happiness and excitement might come later, as you settle into your new role and begin to recover from the previous one.
• Rapport with Colleagues: You mentioned building good rapport with your teams. Even in a toxic environment, positive relationships with colleagues can be a bright spot. Leaving those connections can also contribute to a sense of sadness or ambivalence.

Have I (or others) ever felt this way?

Absolutely. Many people who leave toxic jobs report similar feelings. Instead of euphoria, they often describe:

• Relief: A deep sigh of relief that the struggle is over.
• Numbness: A general lack of strong emotion, as if you're emotionally flatlined.
• Fatigue: Extreme tiredness, as if the mental and emotional burden has finally lifted, allowing your body to crash.
• Apprehension: Worries about the new role, even if it's objectively better.
• Bittersweetness: A mix of happiness for the future and sadness for what you're leaving behind (the good parts, or the potential for good).

What to do now:

Give yourself grace and time. Don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Don't judge yourself for not being "happy enough."
2. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize rest, good nutrition, exercise, and activities that bring you genuine (even if small) moments of peace or joy.
3. Allow for Decompression: You've been in a high-stress environment. It will take time for your nervous system to calm down.
4. Focus on the Positives (When Ready): Gently remind yourself of the benefits of the new job: increased pay, flexible hours, and a potentially healthier environment.
5. Look Forward: Once you start your new role, the positive aspects will likely become more apparent, and the distance from the toxic environment will help you heal.

What you're experiencing is a normal and healthy response to leaving a difficult situation. Be kind to yourself, and trust that the happiness and excitement will likely come as you move further away from the toxicity and settle into your new, healthier professional life.