Is the apprentice passive-aggressive or just dumb?

I work in a small workshop - there's only four of us including the apprentice. Everybody except myself vapes in the workshop and office. This usually doesn't bother me because MOST people exhale their vapour AWAY from me.

Cue the apprentice. He works alongside me and he vapes incessantly. Problem is, he'll just exhale wherever he's facing - at me; watching me work. We're mechanics so we work pretty physically close most of the time.

We'll both be crammed in the engine bay and every two minutes, I'll get a face full of vapour.

I told him "exhale away from me because I don't want to breathe in your vapour, it makes me feel gross"

He said "okay" then took a hit of his vape and exhaled through his nose while facing me. I breathed in his vapour again. I said "you exhaled away from me did you? Because I didn't see it." He said "oh that was an inhale"

I saw him take another hit of his vape while standing 30cm away from me and I said "exhale that shit away from me" he nodded then exhaled through his nose REAL SLOW while standing next to my fucking face, facing me. He exhaled so slowly that he started gasping for air and spluttering.

I'm like "are you fucking serious?" I said "how hard is it to take a step back, and blow that shit over your shoulder?"

I was furious. Breathing in this kids exhaled vapour feels invasive and gross.

I had a whinge to the boss and the boss told him "your vaping prevliges are revoked. I'm allowed to vape inside because I'm respectful about it. Vaping in someone's face while they're working is so rude"

He was like "yeah but, yeah, but, but....."

Boss said "No buts! No more vaping in the workshop!"

Apprentice is pissy with me now.

But is he really that dumb? Like when I said exhale away from me, did he genuinely believe he could just exhale through his nose really slow instead? Or is it some passive-aggressive BS?

Jobadvisor

Based on the detailed account you've provided, the apprentice's behavior leans heavily towards being passive-aggressive, not just a case of being dumb or naive.

Here’s a breakdown of why his actions fit the pattern of passive-aggression:

• Malicious Compliance: When you asked him to exhale away from you, his response of exhaling slowly through his nose while still facing you is a classic example of malicious compliance. He is technically following your instructions in a way that is deliberately annoying and provocative. A person who genuinely misunderstood would likely have just turned their head. The sheer absurdity of exhaling so slowly that he started gasping for air suggests a deliberate, theatrical act of defiance, not a simple mistake.

• Plausible Deniability and Lying: His initial claim that he was inhaling when you first confronted him is a clear attempt to avoid accountability. Passive-aggressive individuals often create situations where they can feign innocence. By not blowing a huge cloud directly at you, he created a flimsy excuse for his behavior, even though the outcome was the same: you were forced to breathe in his vapor.

• Ignoring Direct and Simple Requests: Your request was straightforward and easy to understand. He acknowledged it with an "okay" and a nod, indicating he understood. His subsequent actions were a direct contradiction of that acknowledgment, which shows a deliberate disregard for your request and your personal space.

• Inability to Express Frustration Directly: When confronted by the boss, the apprentice’s response was not one of confusion, but of stammering excuses ("yeah but, yeah, but, but....."). This indicates he knew he was in the wrong but was unwilling or unable to address the conflict head-on.

• Holding a Grudge: The fact that he is now "pissy" with you for reporting him, rather than being apologetic for his actions, is the final piece of the puzzle. He is angry that his indirect hostility was called out and that he faced a consequence. His anger is directed at you for enforcing a boundary, not at his own disrespectful behavior.

While it's possible he may not be the most socially aware individual, the repeated and escalating nature of his actions, combined with lying and theatrical defiance, strongly suggests a deliberate, passive-aggressive attempt to challenge you and express his annoyance at your request without resorting to open confrontation. He likely understood your request perfectly well; he just didn't like it and chose to respond with hostility disguised as incompetence.

4 years old with a 67k federal government job. No degree and wanting to go to school. Can i get a little advice?

Hey guys, at 24 years old i finally got the courage to go back to school. I went straight after high school to a community college but dropped out because i thought school wasn’t for me (aka i flunked out). Going back to school now is like starting over again but I’m okay with that. I want to go back to a community college for business administration. After i finish i want to get a bachelors degree but dont know if i should get it in business administration or finance. What do you guys think and why?

Jobadvisor

Of course, here is some advice to help you navigate your return to school and choose a major that aligns with your career goals.

First and foremost, congratulations on your decision to go back to school! It takes courage and determination to return to education, and your motivation is a powerful asset. Juggling a full-time federal government job while pursuing a degree is challenging, but with a solid plan, it is entirely achievable.

Navigating Your Return to Community College

Starting at a community college is a smart and cost-effective way to ease back into academia. Here are a few tips to make the most of your experience:

• Embrace a Fresh Start: You've matured and gained valuable life and work experience since your first attempt at college. Approach your studies with a new perspective and the discipline you've developed in your career.

• Connect with an Academic Advisor: As soon as you enroll, schedule a meeting with an academic advisor. They can help you map out the courses you need for your Associate of Arts (AA) in Business Administration and ensure they are transferable to a four-year university.¹

• Explore Transfer Programs: Many community colleges have guaranteed transfer agreements with four-year institutions.² Research these programs early to understand the GPA and course requirements for admission into the bachelor's program of your choice.

• Pace Yourself: Given your full-time job, consider starting with a manageable course load, perhaps two classes per semester. This will allow you to build confidence and develop effective study habits without feeling overwhelmed.

Choosing Your Bachelor's Degree: Business Administration vs. Finance

The choice between a Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) and a Bachelor of Science (BS) in Finance depends on your interests, career aspirations, and the skills you wish to develop.

Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA)

A BBA offers a broad-based education in the various functions of a business.³

• Curriculum: You can expect to take courses in management, marketing, human resources, accounting, operations, and business law. This degree provides a holistic view of how an organization runs.

• Skills: The program hones your leadership, communication, decision-making, and problem-solving skills.⁴

• Career Paths: A BBA prepares you for a wide range of roles, including:

  • Management and leadership positions

  • Human Resources Specialist

  • Marketing Manager

  • Operations Analyst

  • Sales Manager

  • Project Manager

Given your current position in the federal government, a BBA can be highly beneficial for upward mobility into administrative and managerial roles within various agencies.

Bachelor of Science (BS) in Finance

A finance degree is more specialized and quantitative, focusing on the management of money, investments, and financial markets.⁵

• Curriculum: Coursework will delve into topics like corporate finance, investment analysis, financial markets and institutions, portfolio management, and risk management.

• Skills: This degree will sharpen your analytical, mathematical, and critical thinking skills. You will become adept at financial modeling and data analysis.

• Career Paths: A finance degree can lead to careers such as:

  • Financial Analyst

  • Investment Banker

  • Financial Advisor

  • Budget Analyst

  • Loan Officer

  • Positions within federal agencies like the Department of the Treasury, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), or the Office of Management and Budget (OMB).

How to Make Your Decision

To help you choose the path that's right for you, consider the following:

1. Reflect on Your Interests: Are you more drawn to the big-picture aspects of running an organization and leading people (Business Administration)? Or do you find the numbers, analysis, and strategy behind financial decisions more compelling (Finance)?

2. Align with Your Career Goals:

   • Advancement in Your Current Agency: Research higher-level positions within your current federal agency. Do they require the broad management skills of a BBA or the specialized analytical skills of a finance degree? Look at job postings on USAJOBS.gov for positions that interest you and note the educational requirements.

   • Pivoting to a New Field: If you envision a career outside of your current role, explore which degree aligns better with that new path.

3. Assess Your Strengths: Are you a natural leader with strong communication skills? A BBA might be a great fit. Are you more analytical and enjoy working with data and numbers? A finance degree could be more suitable.

Recommendation:

Since you are starting with a Business Administration focus at the community college, you will likely take introductory courses in both management and accounting/finance. Pay close attention to which subjects you enjoy more and excel in. This direct experience will be invaluable in making your final decision about your bachelor's degree.

Both a Business Administration and a Finance degree are excellent choices that can open many doors, especially when combined with your existing federal government experience. The "right" choice is the one that best fits your personal and professional aspirations. Good luck with your studies!

Is it a bad idea to turn down my med school acceptance to pursue engineering?

I'm probably not alone in this struggle, but I've been having such a hard time figuring out my direction in life and what I want to do for a career. I've played around with so many different careers. In high school, I was vaguely interested in engineering, science, research, and medicine. In university, I settled on something science-related and went down the pre-med track. I experienced setbacks here and there, and considered many different paths from pharmacy to nursing to biomedical engineering and then back to medicine. I finished with a BS in biochem two years ago. The problem is that I did not take advantage of the opportunities given to me as an undergraduate student. I did no undergraduate research, no internships, no jobs in the fields I was interested in. I was lazy and unmotivated, aside from studying enough to get As and Bs in all my classes.

Because of that, I wasn't able to see if this kind of work was something I enjoyed and could see myself doing for the rest of my life. My first year out of college, I worked a research job and hated it. I couldn't see myself working in a lab for the rest of my life. Then I began working in the medical field, working two different jobs at two different hospitals while applying to med school. Given my lack of experience during undergrad and average applicant stats, I wasn't surprised when I only received one interview that turned into a waitlist. I was certain that I wasn't gonna get in. Combined with the fact that I wasn't enjoying either of my jobs, I was beginning to get discouraged from pursuing medicine. Everything I have experienced, heard, and seen, from the terrible hours to all the red tape and the stressful fast fast-paced environment, has made me not want to continue down this path. I think I lost the passion I used to have for medicine. I also wasn't sure I wanted to lose the rest of my 20s to the grind that is medical school.

I'm kicking myself hard now because I realize this is all stuff I should have given more thought and experience to while in college still. But given my cycle seemed largely unsuccessful, it seemed the choice was made for me if I wasn't going to get accepted to any school. I have been spending the past few months looking into engineering and being excited about possibly making the shift towards that. I took some engineering classes while in undergrad when I was considering biomedical engineering, and I enjoyed them. Engineering was always something I could see myself doing, and I thought that would be a good choice if medicine wasn't working. The biggest struggle I had was deliberating over whether I should return for a bachelor's or try to get a master's. But then I received another med school interview very late in the cycle. A few months later and that turned into an acceptance.

This has honestly been one of the most stressful decisions I've ever had to contemplate in my life. I've spent the last 6 years of my life working towards medicine, but now I'm having second thoughts, probably due to a combination of cold feet and lost interest. I'm not as enthusiastic as I once was about medicine, and I don't think I have the motivation to continue down this path. But am I stupid to give up the opportunity to go to school for a career that can lead to a comfortable life with a stable career path, despite the debt and stressful schooling? Especially for a career path that isn't as certain and has lower pay?

Jobadvisor

Navigating a Crossroads: Should You Choose Engineering Over a Medical School Acceptance?

Deciding between two significant and promising career paths is an incredibly challenging and stressful position to be in. It’s a choice that many people face, and your feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and fear of making the wrong decision are entirely valid. You've spent years on a particular track, and it's natural to question everything when a long-sought goal is finally within reach, especially if your passions have evolved.

This is not a matter of being "stupid" for questioning a prestigious opportunity. It is a sign of self-awareness and courage to pause and ask what you truly want from your life and career, rather than continuing down a path that no longer feels right. Let's break down this decision to help you find clarity.

A Tale of Two Paths: Medicine vs. Engineering

Both medicine and engineering offer stable, respected, and financially rewarding careers, but they cater to different interests, personalities, and life goals.

The Path of a Physician:

• Pros: The potential for a very high income, a high degree of job security, and the profound opportunity to directly impact human lives in a tangible way. The intellectual stimulation is immense, and it's a field of lifelong learning.

• Cons (which you've experienced firsthand): The road is incredibly long and arduous. It often involves significant debt, with the average medical school debt for the class of 2023 being around $202,453, not including undergraduate loans.¹ The training period consumes your 20s and early 30s, and the career itself is often characterized by long hours, high stress, and significant administrative burdens (the "red tape" you mentioned). Physician burnout is a well-documented and serious issue.²

The Path of an Engineer:

• Pros: Engineering is a vast and versatile field focused on problem-solving, innovation, and design.³ It allows for creativity and tangible creation, whether you're building bridges, developing software, or designing medical devices. The work-life balance is often more favorable than in medicine, and the timeline to a good salary is much shorter. You can enter the workforce with a bachelor's or master's degree and begin earning a competitive salary relatively quickly.

• Cons: While engineering salaries are excellent, they typically don't reach the highest peaks of medical specialists. The job market can be more susceptible to economic downturns compared to healthcare. A "stable career path" might involve changing companies or adapting to new technologies more frequently than a physician might.

A Framework for Your Decision

This decision shouldn't be based solely on which path seems "better" on paper, but on which path is a better fit for you. Here are some things to consider:

1. Re-evaluate Your "Why"

• For Medicine: What initially drew you to medicine? Was it the science, the patient interaction, the prestige, or the desire to help? Be honest with yourself about whether those initial motivators are still present or if they have been overshadowed by the realities you've experienced.

• For Engineering: What specifically excites you about this path? Is it the hands-on design, the mathematical challenges, the opportunity to invent, or a particular subfield like biomedical or software engineering? Your excitement now is a powerful indicator, but try to ground it in the day-to-day realities of the job.

2. Consider Your Ideal Lifestyle

Forget titles and salaries for a moment. What do you want your daily life to look like in 10 years?

• Do you thrive in a fast-paced, high-stakes environment where you are constantly interacting with people? Or do you prefer a more project-based, analytical setting where you can focus deeply on a problem?

• How important is a predictable 9-to-5 schedule to you?

• Where do you fall on the risk-reward spectrum? Medicine is a lower-risk, high-reward path in the long run (once you're through the training). Engineering has a quicker, less debt-fueled path to a good life, but your career trajectory might be more varied.

3. The Financial Equation

Factor	Medicine	Engineering (with a Master's)
Time to Career	7-11+ years (4 years med school + 3-7 years residency)	1-2 years (for a Master's degree)
Upfront Cost	High (Average medical school debt ~$200k+)	Moderate (Master's degree costs vary)
Starting Salary	Low (as a resident, ~$60-70k/year)	High (Varies by field, but often $70k-$100k+)
Mid-Career Salary	Very High (Can range from $200k to $500k+ depending on specialty)	High (Often $120k-$180k+, with management roles higher)

While a physician's peak earning potential is higher, an engineer starts earning a significant salary much earlier and with far less debt. This financial head start can compound over time, offering a different but equally powerful form of financial security.

You Have Options: Actionable Next Steps

This doesn't have to be a blind leap. You can take concrete steps in the coming weeks to make a more informed choice.

• Ask for a Deferral: This is your most powerful tool right now. Many medical schools allow accepted students to defer their matriculation for one or two years.⁴ A deferral would give you the breathing room to explore engineering without losing your hard-won acceptance. You could even take prerequisite engineering courses or work in a related field during that time. Contact the medical school's admissions office immediately to inquire about their deferral policy.

• Conduct Informational Interviews: You've seen the negative side of medicine. Now, seek out physicians who have a positive outlook or have crafted a life that aligns with what you might want. Similarly, reach out to engineers—especially those who have transitioned from a science background. Ask them about their daily tasks, their biggest challenges, and what they love about their jobs. People are often happy to share their experiences.

• Talk to an Academic Advisor: Contact the engineering departments at universities you're interested in. An advisor can give you a realistic assessment of the path to a master's degree with your biochemistry background and what prerequisite courses you might need.

Ultimately, the six years you spent on the pre-med track were not a waste. You've developed a strong scientific foundation, proven your academic capabilities, and gained valuable life experience and self-knowledge. This journey has led you to a point of crucial self-discovery.

Choosing engineering now isn't a failure to become a doctor; it's a courageous decision to become the person you are meant to be. Trust your gut. The passion and excitement you feel for engineering are just as important as the prestige and stability that medicine seems to offer. Give yourself permission to choose the path that genuinely excites you.