Boss asked me why I'm looking for another job
I work part time on a flexible schedule, roughly 30-39 hours a week. My company does not offer any paid time off, but the job isn't too hard, and the boss is usually nice enough most of the time, and he's very flexible on hours. Last night he mentioned that he knew I was looking for work and asked me why I was leaving. Honestly I am not actively looking for work at the moment, and was confused where he got this (incorrect) information. I'm always keeping my options open for new opportunities, but I'm not actively applying anywhere at the moment, and had no intention of leaving anytime in the foreseeable future. I asked where he heard this, and he mentioned that my linked in page said that I'm open to work and actively looking. It said that because I hadn't logged onto my linked in account since I was unemployed. I still feel awkward that he stalked my linked in page and confronted me about it. Now I ironically actually am thinking of applying elsewhere.
Jobadvisor
It's completely understandable that you're feeling awkward and even a little annoyed by your boss's actions. It's a tricky situation, but here's how you can approach it, along with some options for how to respond:
Addressing Your Boss's Concern
It's clear your boss misinterpreted your LinkedIn profile, and it led to an uncomfortable confrontation. Here's a breakdown of how to handle it:
Acknowledge the Misunderstanding: Start by directly addressing the LinkedIn profile.
Reiterate Your Current Stance: Clearly state that you're not actively looking for another job right now.
Explain the "Open to Work" Feature: Briefly explain that the setting was old and an oversight.
Express Your Value (Optional but Recommended): Reassure him that you're happy with your current role and appreciate the flexibility. This can smooth things over.
Options for Your Response
Here are a few ways you could phrase your response, ranging from direct to slightly more diplomatic:
Option 1: Direct and Clear
"I apologize for the confusion, [Boss's Name]. I haven't updated my LinkedIn profile since I was last unemployed, so that 'Open to Work' setting was an oversight. I'm actually not actively looking for another job right now, and I'm happy with my current role and the flexibility it offers."
Option 2: Slightly More Detailed
"Thanks for bringing that to my attention, [Boss's Name]. I realize my LinkedIn profile might have given you the wrong impression. The 'Open to Work' badge was left over from when I was last searching for a job, and I completely forgot to remove it. I'm not actively applying anywhere at the moment, and I really value the flexible schedule and the work I do here."
Option 3: Emphasizing Your Commitment (if you want to reassure him more)
"I can see why you'd be concerned, [Boss's Name], but I want to clarify that I'm not actively looking for another job right now. That 'Open to Work' setting on LinkedIn was definitely an old one that I hadn't updated since I was previously unemployed. I really appreciate the flexibility of this job and generally enjoy the work. I had no intention of leaving anytime soon."
What to Do Next
Regardless of how you choose to respond, consider these steps:
Update Your LinkedIn Profile: The very first thing you should do is log into your LinkedIn account and turn off the "Open to Work" feature. This will prevent future misunderstandings.
Consider Your Feelings: It's valid to feel a bit violated by your boss looking at your LinkedIn profile, especially since it led to a confrontation. Your feeling that you now ironically want to look for another job is a natural reaction to feeling untrusted or surveilled.
Reflect on Your Job: While you weren't actively looking, this incident might be a catalyst. Think about what you truly want in a job. The lack of paid time off is a significant factor that many people seek in other roles.
Ultimately, it's your career, and you have every right to explore options. This situation simply brought to light that your boss is paying attention, and it's up to you how you want to navigate that moving forward.
Is it Normal to Hate a New Job?
I'm only a few weeks into a new job after a 10 month job search and I hate it.
I'm 26 and this is my first full time regular office job. I've worked multiple part times simultaneously before and done some contracting work so while I've worked 40 hours/week before, I've never worked in this kind of setting. I just finished grad school before relocating to be with my partner, setting off the big 10 month search. I was really excited for this position; it wasn't my dream job or anything, but the pay and benefits are better than any other offer either of us have ever received. My partner is still in grad school and is being paid to teach, but I'm making almost double that in this new position. Everyone on the team is friendly, but the work has turned out to be absolutely soul sucking. Another person started the same time as me on the same team is having the same experience (they said they go home and cry about how draining the work is already). We also found out that turnover is kind of high (their goal for the next year is to get it down to 20%). I know it's still super early and maybe things will get better.
I took this position with the expectation that I'd be leaving in a couple of years, but I'm struggling with the idea of staying a full year right now. To be honest, I'm scared I won't find another position with this kind of salary/benefits package if I don't tough it out. I also know I'm in a super privileged position to even have a job right now and that I should be grateful I have any job in this market, let alone one with a good salary and benefits.
Is it normal to hate your job less than a month in? Does it get better or should I consider getting back on the job hunt and only keeping this job till something else comes along?
Jobadvisor
It's definitely normal to feel this way a few weeks into a new job, especially when it's a significant change in your work environment and after a long job search. Here's a breakdown of why it's normal and some advice:
Why It's Normal to Hate a New Job (Especially Early On)
Adjustment Period: Starting a new job is a huge adjustment. You're learning new systems, new people, new culture, and new expectations. This can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, even if the work itself isn't difficult.
Reality vs. Expectation: You built up expectations during your 10-month job search, and the reality of the job might not be matching those.
1 This is common, as job descriptions and interviews don't always fully convey the day-to-day.Discomfort with the Unknown: Your previous work experience (multiple part-time jobs, contracting) offered more variety and perhaps more autonomy. A structured office environment can feel restrictive and foreign, leading to feelings of being trapped or bored.
Confirmation Bias (from Turnover): Learning about the high turnover rate (20% is significant!) likely confirmed your negative feelings and made you question your decision. It validates your feeling that "something is wrong here."
Soul-Sucking Work: If the work itself is truly draining, it's not surprising you hate it. No amount of good pay can fully compensate for feeling your time and energy are being wasted on meaningless tasks.
The "Honeymoon" Phase is Over (or Never Started): Sometimes, the initial excitement of a new job wears off quickly, revealing the less appealing aspects. In your case, it sounds like the excitement might not have even materialized due to the nature of the work.
Fear of Missing Out/Being Trapped: You're grappling with the good pay and benefits, which creates a fear of not being able to find something comparable. This can make you feel stuck, even if you're unhappy.
Does It Get Better?
Maybe, but not always.
It can get better if:
The "soul-sucking" aspect is due to initial training/onboarding: Some jobs start with very monotonous tasks that improve as you gain more responsibility or move onto more interesting projects.
You find ways to make the work more engaging: Sometimes, with more experience, you can find efficiencies, suggest improvements, or take on small side projects that add variety.
You build stronger relationships: Having good colleagues can significantly improve even a dull job.
The high turnover is being actively addressed and leads to positive changes: If management truly works to improve the work environment, things could change.
It likely won't get better if:
The fundamental nature of the work is inherently boring/draining: If the core tasks are always going to be tedious, it's hard to make them exciting.
The company culture reinforces the negative aspects: If the high turnover is a symptom of deeper systemic issues (e.g., poor management, unrealistic workloads), then it's unlikely to change significantly.
You're already feeling this strongly after a few weeks: Your gut instinct is often a good indicator.
Advice
Given your situation, here's some advice:
Give It a Little More Time (But Set a Limit):
Why: You're still very new. It's possible some of the drudgery is part of the initial learning curve, or that you haven't yet seen the more interesting aspects of the role. You also want to avoid looking like a "job hopper" too early.
How Much: Aim for at least 3-6 months. This gives you enough time to fully understand the role, the team, and the company culture. If you still hate it after that, you'll have a clearer picture.
What to do in the meantime: Actively look for ways to make the work tolerable. Can you listen to podcasts while you work? Are there micro-breaks you can take? Can you connect more deeply with your co-worker who feels the same way for mutual support?
Talk to Your Co-Worker: You've already confirmed they feel the same. This is incredibly valuable.
Share Strategies: Discuss what you both find challenging and if you've found any coping mechanisms.
Gain Insights: Ask them what they've learned about the job's trajectory. Do they see it getting better? Why do they think turnover is so high?
Mutual Support: Knowing you're not alone can make a huge difference.
Identify Specifics: "Soul-sucking" is a general term. What exactly makes it soul-sucking?
Is it repetitive tasks?
Lack of challenge?
Feeling like your work doesn't matter?
Lack of autonomy?
The environment itself?
Pinpointing the exact issues will help you articulate what you want to avoid in your next role and potentially identify if any small changes could be made in this one.
Leverage Your Privileged Position (While You Have It):
Financial Stability: The good salary and benefits mean you're not desperate to leave immediately. This is a huge advantage. You can afford to be selective in your next job hunt.
Experience Building: Even if you hate it, you're gaining valuable "office job" experience and learning what you don't want in a career. This is a legitimate learning experience.
Start Planning and Strategizing (Discreetly):
Update Your Resume/LinkedIn: Start refining your professional documents now, incorporating your grad school accomplishments and previous experience.
Network: Reconnect with people in your field or areas you're interested in. Informational interviews can be great for exploring options without committing.
Define Your Non-Negotiables: Based on this experience, what are the things you absolutely must have (or absolutely must not have) in your next job? Salary, benefits, work-life balance, type of work, company culture – clarify these for yourself.
Consider a Timeline: If you plan to leave in a couple of years anyway, you can use this job as a stepping stone. Could you stay for 1.5 years instead of 2, for example? This gives you a tangible goal.
Don't Suffer in Silence (But Be Strategic):
To Management: It's too early to complain about hating the job. However, if there are very specific, actionable issues (e.g., "I'm not getting enough variety in my tasks," "I'd love to learn X skill"), you could subtly bring them up once you're more settled (e.g., during a 1-on-1 with your manager after 2-3 months). Frame it as a desire to grow and contribute more.
To Partner/Trusted Friends: Lean on your partner for support. This is a big life change, and it's okay to vent.
Mental Health and Well-being:
Prioritize Self-Care: If you're going home crying, this is a red flag for burnout. Make sure you're doing things outside of work that you enjoy. Exercise, hobbies, social time – these are crucial.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your feelings of dread and unhappiness persist and significantly impact your daily life, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can offer coping strategies and help you process your feelings.
In summary: Yes, it's completely normal to feel this way. Don't panic, but also don't ignore your feelings. Use this experience as a learning opportunity, give it a reasonable amount of time, and discreetly prepare for your next move if things don't improve. Your well-being is paramount.