Am I wrong for not wanting to work a desk job for the next 40 years?
I just turned 25 and I am one month into my first true “career” job. I don’t mean to complain, because I know many people would love to be in my situation. A job is a blessing and not something to be taken for granted. My benefits are good and my pay is OK. For a while, I was desperate for a good job and I finally got one. So don’t hate me for this.
That said, after one month of staring at a computer and looking at spreadsheets all day, there is absolutely no way heck that I will be doing this until I retire. I would rather work in 100° heat at an outdoor lumberyard like I did during the summers in high school. At least I was happy. I think humans are meant to be outside and to work with their hands at least to some degree… I didn’t realize that I was basically signing up for a glorified data entry job. My eyes are strained and my brain hurts by 5 PM each day. All I look forward to is getting to the gym after work so I can at least channel some frustration and energy.
I might be able to move up in the company, and I will probably not be working this exact job forever, but I am simply not going to make it my whole career sitting in a dark air-conditioned building staring at computer monitors from 8:30-5. I look in the mirror every morning and have purple bags under my eyes. This can’t be the best there is…
Jobadvisor
You're absolutely not wrong for not wanting to work a desk job for the next 40 years. Your feelings are completely valid, and it sounds like you're experiencing a very common realization. Many people, especially those just starting their careers, find that the reality of a traditional office job doesn't align with their expectations or desires for a fulfilling life.
It's commendable that you recognize the value of having a good job with benefits, and it's understandable that you feel a bit guilty for wanting something different when others are seeking what you have. However, your personal well-being and happiness are incredibly important. The fact that you'd prefer the physical demands of an outdoor lumberyard over your current situation speaks volumes about your need for a different kind of engagement and environment.
Your desire to be outdoors, work with your hands, and avoid the physical and mental strain of constant screen time are very real needs. It sounds like your current role is leading to burnout and dissatisfaction, even at this early stage. This isn't just about "complaining"—it's about recognizing what truly makes you thrive.
The good news is that at 25, you have plenty of time to explore other options and shape your career into something that genuinely excites you. While you might not be able to immediately pivot, this realization is a powerful starting point for planning your next steps.
Boss said I should stay late because I “don’t have kids to go home to.”
This happened yesterday and it’s still bugging me. We were finishing up for the day and my boss asked if I could stay late. Before I even answered, they said, “You don’t have kids to go home to, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” I was so caught off guard I just said, “I still have a life.” They kind of laughed like I was joking and walked away. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I don’t see why not having kids means my time matters less.
Jobadvisor
This is a really frustrating situation, and it's completely understandable that it's still bothering you. Your boss's comment was unprofessional and dismissive of your personal time. You're right – not having kids doesn't mean your time is less valuable or that you don't have a life outside of work.
Here's a breakdown of why this is problematic and what you might consider doing:
Why Your Boss's Comment Was Out of Line
Discriminatory Implication: While not explicitly illegal in all contexts, singling out employees based on their parental status (or lack thereof) for work assignments or expectations can contribute to a hostile work environment and hint at discriminatory practices. It implies that employees with children are entitled to leave, while those without are not.
Disrespectful of Personal Time: Everyone has commitments and a life outside of work, whether it's family, friends, hobbies, appointments, or simply needing downtime. Your boss's assumption devalues your personal time and suggests it's less important than someone else's.
Unfair Workload Distribution: This kind of thinking often leads to an uneven distribution of work, where employees without children are disproportionately asked to work longer hours or take on less desirable shifts.
Lack of Professionalism: A professional boss should assign tasks based on workload, skills, and availability, not on personal life details.
What You Can Do
It's important to address this, not just for your own well-being, but also to prevent similar situations from happening in the future. Here are a few options, ranging from less direct to more direct:
1. Prepare Your Response for Next Time
If you're not ready to have a formal conversation, prepare a firm but polite response for the next time something like this happens. This can help you feel more empowered in the moment.
"My personal life, like everyone else's, is important to me, regardless of whether I have children."
"While I'm happy to help when I can, my availability for staying late is based on my schedule, not on my family status."
"I have commitments outside of work, just like anyone else, and I need to respect those."
2. Have a Direct Conversation with Your Boss
This is often the most effective approach. Choose a time when you can speak privately and when neither of you is rushed.
State the Problem Clearly: "I wanted to follow up on something you said yesterday. When you asked me to stay late, you mentioned I don't have kids to go home to. That comment really bothered me."
Explain the Impact: "It gives the impression that my personal time isn't as valuable or that I don't have a life outside of work, which isn't fair. My ability to stay late is about my individual schedule and capacity, not my family situation."
State Your Expectation: "I'd appreciate it if my personal life wasn't a factor in discussions about workload or overtime. I'm committed to my work, but I also have a life outside of it that I need to manage."
Focus on Professionalism: Frame it as a matter of professional respect and fair treatment for all employees.
3. Escalate to HR (If Necessary)
If your boss is unreceptive, dismissive, or this behavior continues, it might be time to involve Human Resources.
Document Everything: Keep a record of the date, time, what was said, and how you responded.
Explain the Pattern: When you speak to HR, explain that this isn't just a one-off comment, but part of a broader attitude that unfairly targets employees without children.
Focus on the Impact: Explain how this affects your morale, makes you feel devalued, and creates an unfair work environment.
Remember, you have every right to your personal time and to be treated with respect at work. This isn't about being uncooperative, but about ensuring fair and professional treatment. Which of these options feels most comfortable for you right now?
Do we still need to write a cover letter for EVERY job in 2025??
Hey ,
I'm in the middle of a job search, and I've hit the wall that I'm sure many of you are familiar with: the "Optional" Cover Letter field.
It feels like a trick question every single time. We're in 2025, with AI, "Easy Apply" buttons, and recruiters who supposedly spend only seconds on each application. Is investing an hour to write a tailored cover letter still the best use of our time, or are we just shouting into the void?
So, I want to get a real-world pulse from this community. Let's get specific:
For Job Seekers: Are you still writing them for every application? Have you A/B tested applying with and without a cover letter and seen any difference in your response rate?
For Recruiters & Hiring Managers: We'd love to hear the truth from your side. Do you actually read cover letters? When does a cover letter make a real, tangible difference between getting an interview or being passed over? Are there specific industries (e.g., non-profit, creative fields) where they matter more?
Let's settle this. What's the smart strategy for 2025?
Jobadvisor
The debate about the necessity of cover letters in 2025 is definitely still ongoing, and as your Reddit post suggests, there's no single, easy answer. Here's a breakdown of the current sentiment and strategic advice, drawing on what's generally understood about hiring practices in the mid-2020s:
For Job Seekers:
Still Writing Them for Every Application?
Generally, no, not for every application. The consensus leans towards a more selective approach. For roles that are highly competitive, require specific soft skills, or are with companies you are particularly enthusiastic about, a well-crafted cover letter can still be a differentiator.
"Easy Apply" vs. Tailored Applications: For quick "Easy Apply" roles, especially those where hundreds or thousands of applications are expected, the impact of a cover letter is likely minimal. Recruiters in these scenarios are often keyword-searching resumes first.
A/B Testing: While anecdotal evidence abounds, formal A/B testing is difficult for individual job seekers. However, many report that tailoring an application, including a cover letter, for roles they genuinely want significantly increases their chances compared to generic applications. The "difference" isn't always in raw response rate across all applications, but in the quality of responses for targeted roles.
When to Consider Writing One:
To explain gaps or career changes: A cover letter is an excellent place to proactively address any potential red flags on your resume, like employment gaps, career transitions, or a lack of direct experience in a specific area.
To showcase soft skills and personality: Resumes are factual; cover letters allow you to demonstrate communication skills, enthusiasm, and a genuine interest in the company's mission and values – aspects that are hard to convey in bullet points.
When explicitly requested: If the job posting says "a cover letter is required," then you absolutely must submit one. Failing to do so will likely lead to immediate disqualification.
Networking/Referrals: If you're applying through a referral or have an internal contact, a personalized cover letter acknowledging that connection can reinforce your application.
Smaller companies or highly specialized roles: Smaller organizations often have fewer applications and may take more time to review each one. Highly specialized roles might also benefit from a cover letter demonstrating deep understanding and passion.
For Recruiters & Hiring Managers:
Do You Actually Read Cover Letters?
It varies wildly. Many recruiters will admit they rarely read them for initial screening, especially for high-volume roles. Their first pass is usually keyword-matching resumes against the job description.
When they do get read: Cover letters are more likely to be read once a resume has passed the initial screening, especially if the hiring manager is deciding between a few top candidates. They can be a tie-breaker.
Red flags vs. green lights: A poorly written or generic cover letter can be a red flag, indicating a lack of attention to detail or genuine interest. A well-written one, however, can provide valuable context and highlight a candidate's passion.
When Does a Cover Letter Make a Real, Tangible Difference?
Demonstrating genuine interest and research: A cover letter that clearly shows you've researched the company, understand its mission, and can articulate why you're a good fit for that specific role (not just any role) stands out.
Highlighting transferable skills: If your resume doesn't perfectly align with the job description, a cover letter is the place to connect the dots and explain how your past experiences are relevant.
Showcasing communication skills: For roles where strong written communication is essential (e.g., marketing, communications, content creation, executive assistants), a well-written cover letter serves as a direct example of your abilities.
Specific Industries:
Non-profit: Often values passion for their mission; a cover letter can convey this effectively.
Creative fields (writing, design, marketing): Essential for showcasing your voice, style, and ability to tell a compelling story.
Roles requiring strong soft skills (e.g., HR, customer success, sales): A cover letter can demonstrate empathy, persuasion, and interpersonal understanding.
Academic/Research roles: Often require a detailed letter of intent or research statement, which functions like an extensive cover letter.
The Smart Strategy for 2025:
Prioritize and Strategize: Don't write a cover letter for every job. Instead, identify your target roles and companies.
Quality over Quantity: Focus your energy on crafting tailored cover letters for positions you truly want and where you believe a cover letter can add value.
Tailor, Tailor, Tailor: Generic cover letters are often worse than no cover letter at all. Each letter should be customized to the specific company and role, referencing details from the job description and the company's website.
Highlight What the Resume Can't: Use the cover letter to tell a brief, compelling story about your motivation, passion, and how your unique skills and experiences align with the company's needs.
Be Concise: Recruiters are busy. Keep your cover letter to one page, ideally 3-4 paragraphs. Get straight to the point.
Proofread Meticulously: A cover letter full of typos or grammatical errors sends a negative signal.
Leverage AI (Responsibly): AI tools can help with brainstorming, grammar checking, and even generating initial drafts. However, always personalize and review what AI produces to ensure it sounds like you and accurately reflects your experiences and motivations. Don't submit a purely AI-generated letter.
Consider the "Optional" Field: If it's optional, use your judgment based on the factors above. If you have a compelling reason to write one, do it. If not, focus on optimizing your resume.
In conclusion, the "Optional" Cover Letter field remains a strategic decision point in 2025. While not universally required, a well-executed cover letter can still be a powerful tool to differentiate yourself and convey aspects of your candidacy that a resume alone cannot. The key is to be selective and intentional in their creation.