Is it too late to join the military at 27?

I’m 27. I work as a server at a restaurant. Given how awful the job market is I’ve given up on applying for entry level office roles. Given how rigged the corporate environment is I don’t see how I can get my foot in the door. I want to just have a stable career and not have to worry about retirement. I have $500 to my name, 20k in debt and I pay rent in an old couples basement.

Jobadvisor

It's definitely not too late to join the military at 27, and it could be a very viable option for you given your current situation.

Here's a breakdown of what you need to know:

Age Limits by Branch (for Active Duty Enlistment):

• Army: 17-35 years old
• Air Force: 17-42 years old
• Coast Guard: 17-41 years old
• Navy: 17-41 years old
• Space Force: 17-42 years old
• Marine Corps: 17-28 years old (This is the tightest age limit)

Since you are 27, you are still within the active duty age limits for most branches, including the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, Navy, and Space Force. The Marine Corps would be your tightest window, but still within reach.

Your Financial Situation:

The military can be a great way to gain financial stability and address your debt. Here's why:

• Steady Income and Benefits: The military offers a stable paycheck, housing allowances (Basic Allowance for Housing - BAH), food allowances, and comprehensive healthcare. These benefits can significantly reduce your living expenses and allow you to save money and pay down debt.
• Debt Management: While excessive debt can impact security clearance or even military career progression, simply having $20k in debt shouldn't automatically disqualify you from joining. The military emphasizes financial responsibility, and they will want to see a plan for how you intend to manage your debt. In fact, there are resources and programs within the military (like the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act - SCRA) that can help you manage existing debt by capping interest rates on pre-service loans.
• Saving and Retirement: The military has an excellent retirement system, with a pension after 20 years of service. They also offer the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP), which is similar to a 401(k), with government matching contributions. This can help you build a solid financial foundation for retirement.
• Bonuses: Depending on the branch and job specialty, you may be eligible for signing bonuses.

Career Stability and Opportunities:

• Job Security: The military offers excellent job security, regardless of the civilian job market.
• Job Training and Skills: You'll receive extensive training in a specific job field, which can translate into valuable skills for a civilian career after your service.
• Education Benefits: The Post-9/11 GI Bill and other tuition assistance programs can help you pay for college or other training while you're serving or after you leave the military. This can be a huge advantage for career advancement and securing a stable future.
• Leadership and Personal Development: The military is known for developing strong leadership skills, discipline, teamwork, and problem-solving abilities.

Next Steps:

Given your interest in stability and retirement, and your current financial situation, exploring military service is a very sensible path. Your best course of action is to:

1. Research Branches and Jobs: Look into the different branches and the various job roles (Military Occupational Specialties - MOS in the Army, AFSCs in the Air Force, etc.) they offer. Consider what interests you and what aligns with your skills or desired future career.
2. Contact a Recruiter: Speak to recruiters from the branches you are most interested in. Be honest about your financial situation (debt) and your current living arrangements. They can provide detailed information on eligibility, job opportunities, and how to navigate the enlistment process, including any potential waivers for age or debt.
3. Prepare for the ASVAB: The Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) is a multiple-aptitude test that helps determine your eligibility and suitable job placements. You can find resources online to prepare for it.
4. Physical and Medical Standards: You'll need to meet physical fitness and medical standards. Recruiters can provide details on these requirements.

It's absolutely worth investigating further. The military can provide the structure, training, financial benefits, and long-term stability you're looking for.

Manager acts super weird after I sent her an email. What do you think is happening?

Hi everyone! To give as much context as I can, I work in finance, just recently joined a new company and been here for 2 months but have 3+ years of experience in this particular position from a previous job. I am also in my early twenties so I am still learning about office politics. I am also based in Europe so I understand employment laws can vary.

Basically my manager sat me down this week during one of our regular 1:1s and in a very concerned but also resentful tone said that I’ve been making mistakes at my job (never clarified any concrete examples) and implied that it may affect my place on the team (“I’d like this to work out, but…”). She also said twice that I look sad and I need to cheer up which I disagreed with and said I feel it is a projection and I don’t feel that way. The meeting ended very awkwardly within 15 minutes.

I figured she may be trying to sabotage me and get me to seem too bad for my job, and I felt the need to send an email copying her boss asking to clarify expectations and mistakes that need correcting, as well as reminding of my limited training (2 weeks covering the basics) and drawing a boundary around comments like telling me to “cheer up”. I watched her read that email and die inside. She was acting very sad and distant the whole day afterwards. While I was at lunch with colleagues which she was supposed to join but didn’t she sent an email back clarifying the mistakes and apologising for the “cheer up” comments but never clarifying anything else. She also cancelled all of our further 1:1 meetings.

I’m just so confused because I felt that I made a completely reasonable request and I was met with a very strange reaction. Now I am even more worried about my place on the team. can anyone with more experience than me tell me what could be going on and how I can best protect myself to avoid getting fired?

Jobadvisor

It sounds like a really stressful and confusing situation, and your feelings are completely valid. Let's break down what might be happening and how you can best protect yourself.

What Could Be Going On:

1. She Felt Undermined/Challenged:

   • Copying her boss: While your intention was to clarify expectations and protect yourself, from your manager's perspective, copying her boss could be seen as "going over her head" or a direct challenge to her authority. Managers often prefer to handle issues with their direct reports internally first.
   • Directly addressing her tone/comments: Telling her her comments about "cheering up" were a projection, even if true, might have felt confrontational to her.
   • Highlighting limited training: While a valid point for you, she might perceive this as you making excuses or shifting blame, especially when her boss is copied.
   • Loss of control: Your email, by bringing in a higher authority and directly questioning her feedback, likely made her feel like she lost control of the situation and her ability to manage you as she saw fit.

2. She Was Genuinely Trying to Give Feedback (Poorly):

   • It's possible she genuinely saw some areas for improvement (even if poorly articulated) and was trying to address them, but her communication style was ineffective or she felt uncomfortable giving direct negative feedback. The "you look sad" comments might have been an attempt (albeit misguided) to get you to open up or address what she perceived as a morale issue.
   • When you responded by copying her boss and challenging her, she might have felt embarrassed or exposed.

3. She Was Trying to Intimidate You (and it Backfired):

   • You mentioned feeling she might be trying to sabotage you. It's plausible she was trying to exert control or put pressure on you (perhaps due to her own insecurities, a desire to manage performance, or even genuine concern expressed poorly). Your strong response might have caught her off guard and she didn't know how to react.

4. She's Now Scared/Defensive:

   • Her "dying inside" reaction, sadness, distance, and cancellation of 1:1s strongly suggest she's now on the defensive. She might be worried about how her boss views the situation, how her management skills are perceived, or even potential HR repercussions from your email.
   • Canceling 1:1s could be a sign she's avoiding further direct confrontation or is unsure how to proceed. It could also be a punitive measure to isolate you, or she might be trying to regroup and figure out her next steps.

5. Lack of Managerial Experience/Training:

   • Your manager might simply lack the skills to give constructive feedback effectively or handle a situation like this professionally. Her vague comments and personal observations (like "you look sad") point to this.

How You Can Best Protect Yourself:

1. Document Everything (Crucially Important):

   • Keep a personal log: Note dates, times, who was present, what was said, and what actions were taken. This includes details of your original 1:1, your email, her response, and any subsequent interactions (or lack thereof).
   • Save all relevant emails: Do not delete any emails related to this situation. Create a specific folder for them.
   • If you have further conversations, follow up with an email: "As per our conversation today, just to confirm..." This creates a paper trail.

2. Focus on Performance and Professionalism:

   • Address the clarified mistakes: Now that she's finally clarified some mistakes, focus diligently on correcting them. If you need more information or training to do so, document that need.
   • Maintain your professional demeanor: Do not let her strange behavior affect your work ethic or your interactions with other colleagues. Continue to be punctual, productive, and collaborative.
   • Avoid gossip: Do not discuss this situation with colleagues, even those you trust. It can easily backfire and be used against you.

3. Initiate Follow-Up (Carefully):

   • Since she cancelled 1:1s, you might need to take the initiative, but do so carefully.
   • Reply to her apology email: A simple, professional reply could be: "Thank you for clarifying the mistakes and for your apology regarding the comments. I understand the points you've raised and will ensure I address them. I remain committed to performing well in this role. Please let me know if there are any specific areas where I can seek further clarification or support." This shows you're receptive and professional, and pushes the ball back to her.
   • Request a new 1:1 (if appropriate): After a week or so, if 1:1s are not rescheduled, you could send a polite email to her (and NOT copy her boss this time, unless absolutely necessary) saying something like: "I wanted to check in regarding our regular 1:1s. I find them valuable for discussing progress and any questions I may have. Please let me know when would be a good time to reschedule." This shows you're proactive and value communication.

4. Understand Your Company's HR/Employee Relations Process:

   • Discretely, try to understand your company's internal policies for conflict resolution, performance management, and reporting concerns. This information is often available on the company intranet or through HR.
   • Do not go to HR directly yet: While tempting, going to HR too early can sometimes escalate a situation unnecessarily or be perceived negatively. HR's primary role is to protect the company, not necessarily you. Exhaust other options first unless you feel truly threatened or discriminated against.

5. Network Internally:

   • Continue to build good relationships with your colleagues and other managers. A strong internal network can be a source of support, information, and even potential future opportunities if things don't work out on your current team.

6. Prepare for the Worst (and Hope for the Best):

   • Update your resume: Always a good practice, especially when things feel uncertain.
   • Reflect on the feedback: Even if delivered poorly, is there any truth to the "mistakes" she finally clarified? Take it as an opportunity for growth.

European Employment Laws (General Advice):

• Probationary Periods: In Europe, probationary periods are common and often allow for termination with less notice and fewer grounds than after the probation period ends. Understand the length of your probationary period and its terms.
• Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs): If a company wants to terminate you for performance, they often (but not always, especially during probation) need to put you on a formal Performance Improvement Plan first, giving you specific targets and a timeframe to meet them.
• Documentation is Key: For both the employer and employee, documentation is crucial in any employment dispute in Europe. Your detailed log will be invaluable if things escalate.
• Legal Consultation: If the situation significantly worsens or you are formally put on a PIP or threatened with termination, it would be wise to consult with an employment lawyer in your specific country. They can advise you on your rights and the legal landscape.

In summary, your manager's reaction was unprofessional and indicates she felt threatened or undermined. Your best course of action is to remain calm, professional, meticulously document everything, focus on your performance, and be strategic about your communications. You made a bold move, and now you need to manage the aftermath effectively. Good luck!

All career advice are about selling/showing off your work well; not how to do the job

I do have confidence problems but I have also only worked in retail, where I have not shined. I am clumsy so colleagues don't really love me (this is a rooted coordination problem I have attempted many times to correct with no much progress), and I answer to a manager who really likes to do everything herself, and she's amazing so I really struggle to see what I could do to help/take over her. My only 'factual' strength is that clients do like me because I am cheerful and engaging, so they come back and remember my name if they come back (but I don't know how much they spend as they pay to someone else and I don't remember them as we have too many people coming in - and of course I cannot take their pics to catalogue them or whatever).

At school I didn't do any extra curriculum because I was too shy to participate.

However, when I follow career development accounts etc, it's all about how to sell yourself, quantify your contribution, match your skills to the job description, show off when you're accomplished something...

I understand my problem is confidence, but why are there no tips about how to create opportunities to make something worth it of a cv? I was so shocked to discover a friend used her taking up running as an example for an answer. I didn't know you could do that.

Which tips would you give me to make things worth it of a cv? I feel like I don't even know what's worth putting there

Who should I watch or read to know what to do that I could put into my cv/retell as a success story?

Jobadvisor

It's completely understandable that you feel frustrated by the constant emphasis on "selling yourself" when you're struggling to identify accomplishments or create opportunities for them in the first place. You've hit on a really common and valid point – a lot of career advice assumes you already have a solid foundation of achievements.

Let's break down your situation and focus on how to build that foundation, and then how to frame it for a CV.

Why the Disconnect? (And Why It's Not Just You)

The career development world often caters to people who are already in roles with clear project deliverables, quantifiable metrics, and established pathways for advancement. Retail, while incredibly valuable for developing people skills, can sometimes feel less structured in terms of individual "achievements" that translate directly into a traditional CV.

The advice to "sell yourself" is often about packaging what you've already done. Your challenge right now is more about creating the content to package.

Tips to Create "CV-Worthy" Experiences (Even in Retail):

You're already doing more than you think! Let's reframe some of your existing strengths and identify new opportunities:

1. Leverage Your Customer Service Strength (and Try to Quantify):

   • "Clients like me because I am cheerful and engaging, so they come back and remember my name." This is HUGE in retail! It directly impacts sales and customer loyalty.
   • How to make it CV-worthy:
     • Observe and ask: Can you observe if customers you've served return frequently? While you don't process payments, perhaps you can ask a manager if they notice a correlation between certain staff and repeat customer visits. Even anecdotal evidence, if consistent, is a starting point.
     • Customer feedback: Does your store have a customer feedback system (surveys, comment cards, online reviews)? Encourage customers to mention you by name. Positive mentions are excellent to quantify.
     • Upselling/Cross-selling (Even if not directly earning commission): Do you ever recommend additional items that customers end up buying? Even if it's "This shirt would look great with these trousers," that's a form of suggestive selling. Note down instances where you did this and the customer followed through.
     • Problem Resolution: Do customers come to you with issues? Successfully resolving a complaint, finding a specific item, or smoothing over a difficult interaction is valuable.
     • Training/Mentoring (Informal): Do new hires observe you? Do colleagues ask you for advice on handling certain customer situations? You might be informally training or mentoring others.

2. Proactive Problem-Solving & Efficiency:

   • Look for small inefficiencies: Is there anything that takes too long, causes frustration, or could be done differently?
     • Example: Maybe the stockroom is always disorganized, making it hard to find things. Can you propose a small change to the shelving system or a new labeling method?
     • Example: Is there a common customer question that staff often struggle to answer? Can you create a quick reference guide (even for yourself and perhaps share it if helpful)?
   • Take initiative: Even if your manager likes to do everything, identify a small task she might delegate or appreciate you taking off her plate. "I noticed the display needed tidying, so I took care of it." "I saw we were low on X, so I restocked."
   • Improve Processes: Think about repetitive tasks. Is there a way to do them faster or more accurately? Even tidying up a section of the store in a new, more efficient way is an improvement.

3. Learn New Skills (Even if Not Directly Related to Your Current Job):

   • Online Courses: Many free or low-cost online courses (Coursera, edX, LinkedIn Learning, Google's Grow with Google) offer certificates in areas like digital marketing, data analysis (even basic Excel), project management basics, or specific software. These show initiative and a willingness to learn.
   • Volunteering: This is an excellent way to gain new experiences, build a network, and contribute to a cause you care about. You can often find roles that involve:
     • Event planning/organization
     • Social media management
     • Data entry
     • Community outreach
     • Fundraising
   • Personal Projects:
     • Your friend's running example is perfect! It shows dedication, goal setting, perseverance, and often, an ability to overcome challenges.
     • What are you passionate about? Could you start a small blog about a hobby? Learn a new language? Take up a craft and try to sell something online? Organize a small local event for a cause? These demonstrate transferable skills like planning, marketing, problem-solving, and dedication.
     • Think broadly: Did you organize a successful family gathering? Plan a trip on a budget? Research a complex topic for personal interest? These all involve skills like organization, budgeting, research, and communication.

4. Networking (Even within your current workplace):

   • Talk to colleagues in different departments or at different levels. Ask them about their roles, what they enjoy, and challenges they face. You might discover an area where your skills could be useful, or they might think of you for future opportunities.
   • Seek informal mentorship from your amazing manager. Ask her what she looks for in employees who want to grow. How does she approach problem-solving? You might learn strategies that help you identify opportunities.

How to "Show Off" Your New Achievements (The CV & Interview Part):

Once you start creating these small wins, here's how to frame them:

1. Quantify Everything You Can:

   • Instead of "Good with customers," try: "Consistently received positive customer feedback, leading to repeat business and direct mentions of name in customer surveys." (If you can, put a number on it: "Received X positive mentions in Q1 2025.")
   • Instead of "Helped organize stock," try: "Implemented a new stock organization system that reduced search time by X%." (Even if you just proposed it and it was adopted, it's still your initiative.)
   • For personal projects: "Successfully completed a 10k running challenge, demonstrating perseverance and goal-setting." "Developed a personal budget tracking system that saved X% on monthly expenses."

2. Use Action Verbs: Start your bullet points with strong action verbs: Managed, Organized, Developed, Implemented, Created, Resolved, Collaborated, Analyzed, Initiated, Streamlined, Trained.

3. Focus on the "So What?" (Impact): Don't just state what you did, explain the result or benefit.

   • "Identified a recurring customer complaint regarding X and proposed a solution that reduced complaints by Y%."
   • "Organized a charity bake sale, raising $X for [Cause Name] and managing all logistics from promotion to vendor coordination."

4. Match Skills to Job Descriptions: When you look at job descriptions, don't just think, "Do I have this exact experience?" Think, "Which of my experiences (even small ones, even personal ones) demonstrate the underlying skill they are looking for?"

   • "Problem-solving" -> Your efforts to find efficient stockroom solutions or resolve customer complaints.
   • "Teamwork" -> Collaborating with colleagues, even informally, or participating in any group activity.
   • "Attention to detail" -> Ensuring displays are perfect, meticulously tracking something.
   • "Initiative" -> Taking on any extra task, learning a new skill, proposing an improvement.

Who to Watch or Read:

Look for people who focus on skills, transferable abilities, and building a career path from the ground up, rather than just optimizing an already strong resume.

• LinkedIn Learning & Coursera Blogs: They often have articles on "how to build skills for a new career" or "transferable skills."
• Career Coaches specializing in Career Transitions: Search for coaches who work with people looking to switch industries or who are early in their careers. They often have practical advice on identifying and articulating skills.
• "Skill-Based Hiring" resources: More companies are moving towards skill-based hiring, meaning they care less about specific job titles and more about what you can do. Look for articles and resources on this topic.
• People with "Unconventional" Career Paths: Read interviews or profiles of people who started in one field (like retail) and transitioned into something seemingly unrelated. They often highlight how they leveraged unexpected skills.
• Podcasts/Blogs about personal development and habit building: These can help with consistency and breaking down big goals into smaller, achievable steps – which is exactly what you need for creating those "CV-worthy" experiences. Think "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, or podcasts on productivity and growth mindset.

A Note on Confidence:

Your self-awareness about your clumsiness and coordination issues is valuable. While it's great you've tried to address it, some things are harder to change. Instead of focusing on it as a deficit, think about how your other strengths (like your engaging personality) compensate or how you can adapt. For example, if fine motor skills are an issue, perhaps jobs requiring excellent dexterity aren't your best fit, but roles requiring strong interpersonal skills and problem-solving are.

You have valuable skills, especially in customer engagement. The goal now is to build on those and strategically create opportunities to develop other skills that will make your CV shine. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and every small initiative you take adds to your story.