I feel like I lost my purpose being unemployed for 8 months.

I have sent close to 400 applications since I was laid off summer of 2024. I have made it to a couple interviews making to final rounds but I never get the offer. It's been so difficult and extremely depressing dealing with unemployment and not only did I lose my job but I also don't have the funds to go back to rent an apartment since I live in the most expensive city in the country. I can't help but feel like failure, I used to have it all at such a young age and I feel like I lost everything in the blink of an eye. I'm currently traveling and living in Asia (due to family commitment) and I'm debating if I should extend my stay here because at least I still have a great quality of life here or go back to the states? I don't feel comfortable moving back into my parents or staying at a friend because I would just feel like a huge burden to them (although I have these resources) Nonetheless, I really wouldn't wish this on anyone and I hope I survive this unending mental and emotional battle. I know things could always be worse and I'm STILL grateful for what I have but although I try to be positive, I'm slowly but surely losing hope by the day. I could really use some advice based on how I can get out of this and get back to my old life, landing a job, etc or anyone else who's going through this or survived and landed a job, ANYTHING. What should I do?

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're going through an incredibly challenging time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling lost and discouraged after facing job loss and the complexities of rebuilding your life. You've shown a lot of resilience by sending out so many applications and making it to final interview rounds – that speaks to your skills and qualifications. Please know that you're not alone in this struggle, and many talented individuals face similar hurdles in their careers.

Let's explore some avenues that might help you regain a sense of purpose and navigate this situation:

Regarding Your Job Search:

• Refine Your Approach: While 400 applications is a significant number, perhaps we can analyze how you're applying.

  • Tailoring: Are you customizing your resume and cover letter for each specific role, highlighting the skills and experiences most relevant to their requirements? Generic applications often get overlooked.
  • Keywords: Are you using keywords from the job descriptions in your application materials? Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) often filter applications based on these.
  • Networking: Are you actively networking? Sometimes, the best opportunities aren't even advertised. Reach out to former colleagues, classmates, and professionals in your field. Let them know you're looking and what kind of roles you're interested in. LinkedIn can be a powerful tool for this.
  • Informational Interviews: Consider reaching out to people in roles or companies you're interested in for informational interviews. This isn't directly asking for a job, but it's a way to learn more about the field, make connections, and potentially hear about opportunities down the line.
  • Interview Feedback: If possible, try to get feedback after your final-round interviews. Even a little insight into why you weren't selected can be invaluable for future interviews. You could politely reach out to the recruiter or hiring manager.
  • Consider Different Types of Roles: Are you open to contract, temporary, or even slightly different roles than what you had before? Sometimes, taking a step in a related direction can lead to other opportunities.

• Evaluate Your Resume and Interview Skills:

  • Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends, former colleagues, or even career counselors to review your resume and provide honest feedback. Are your accomplishments clearly articulated and impactful?
  • Practice Interviews: Practice your interviewing skills. You can do this with friends, family, or online resources. Focus on the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to structure your answers to behavioral questions.

Regarding Your Sense of Purpose and Well-being:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel the way you do. Don't try to suppress your sadness or frustration. Allow yourself to acknowledge these emotions without judgment.
• Focus on What You Can Control: While you can't control the job market or hiring decisions, you can control your actions, your learning, and how you spend your time.
• Re-evaluate Your Definition of Success: Perhaps this period is an opportunity to redefine what "having it all" means to you now. Your values and priorities might have shifted.
• Engage in Meaningful Activities: Even though you're in Asia for family commitments, try to find activities that bring you a sense of purpose and joy. This could be volunteering, learning a new skill, pursuing a hobby, or simply spending quality time with your family.
• Consider Your Options in Asia: You mentioned a great quality of life there. Could you explore job opportunities in your field in Asia? This might provide a more immediate sense of purpose and financial stability while you continue to consider your long-term plans.
• Don't Rule Out Your Support System: While you don't want to feel like a burden, your friends and family likely care about you and want to help. If you decide to return to the States, consider having open and honest conversations with them about your concerns and boundaries. Sometimes, knowing you have a temporary safety net can alleviate some of the pressure.
• Small Steps, Big Impact: Focus on achieving small, manageable goals each day. This could be sending out a certain number of applications, learning a new skill for 30 minutes, or going for a walk. Small wins can build momentum and boost your sense of accomplishment.
• Prioritize Your Mental Health: This is crucial. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Talking about your feelings and developing coping mechanisms can make a significant difference. There might be online therapy options available regardless of your location.

Decision about Returning to the States:

This is a deeply personal decision. Consider the pros and cons of each option:

• Staying in Asia:
  • Pros: Good quality of life, family support, potentially lower cost of living, opportunity to explore a new culture.
  • Cons: May feel disconnected from your professional network in the US, potential challenges in finding a job in your field in a new country (depending on your industry).
• Returning to the States:
  • Pros: Closer to your professional network, potentially more job opportunities in your field, familiarity.
  • Cons: Higher cost of living, potential feeling of being a burden if staying with family or friends, facing the environment that led to your job loss.

Perhaps you could explore remote job opportunities with US-based companies while you are in Asia? This could offer a middle ground, allowing you to maintain your quality of life while working towards your career goals in the US market.

Remember, your worth is not defined by your employment status. This is a temporary setback, even though it feels immense right now. Your skills, experience, and resilience are still within you. Keep taking those small steps, reach out for support when you need it, and try to be kind to yourself during this difficult chapter. You will get through this.

Wasting away days

Just wanted to vent a little and get some advice..

I've been looking for a job for almost a year. I've never been out of a job for this long and idk what to do with my days. I haven't had a normal routine in a while.

I can't wake up early anymore (get out of bed around 1130-1pm cause im feeling miserable). I go to the library and either apply to jobs or "work" on getting my certifcate almost everyday. I've been procrastinating every single day for about 3 months now because I'm lost. I'm getting 0 interviews- only apply to 2-5 jobs a day (except on sat- i try to rest but im stressed every single day). I watch my videos for my exam but slowly (no exam date yet) and I dread everyday cause I don't have a job.

I have 0 connections, been trying to cold network on linkedin, update my resume 10388392 times (not literally) per job post. I stopped going to the gym. I have 0 motivation. All my other friends are easily getting new jobs within a week... (Were in different fields) I don't have any other friends that's on the same boat as me.. they all have jobs and when I asked them if they know anyone in project management they say no... or "what's that".

I know I'm not trying and grinding hard enough. I just don't know what to do exactly. I've been applying to jobs directly through the company website (I find them on job sites- indeed, linkedin, otta, etc). I applied to jobs through staffing agencies and get no response. Am I supposed to go to the office in person?

I also don't know what to do everyday now. I do a little bit of shopping here and there. I even canceled my vacation trip this month because I was feeling guilty. I know the saying "rejection is redirection" but what direction??

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling lost and unmotivated. Job searching for this long can be incredibly draining, and it's easy to fall into a cycle that's hard to break. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way, even if it might seem like it when you compare your situation to your friends.

Let's try to break things down a bit and see if we can find some actionable steps and a little bit of direction.

Regarding the Job Search:

• Applying Directly vs. Agencies: You're doing the right thing by applying directly through company websites and using job boards. While going to a staffing agency's office in person might make you feel like you're doing more, it's generally not the standard practice anymore. Most communication happens online. However, it might be worth researching reputable staffing agencies in your field (project management) in your area and seeing if they have any specific instructions or contact people you could reach out to.
• The "Black Hole" of Applications: The lack of response is frustratingly common. It doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything "wrong," but it does mean we might need to explore other avenues.
• Cold Networking on LinkedIn: Keep at it! It can be slow, but it's a valuable long-term strategy. Are you sending personalized messages when you connect? Instead of just asking for a job, try asking for informational interviews – a brief chat to learn about their career path and industry insights. People are often more willing to offer advice than a job directly. You could say something like, "Hi [Name], I'm a project management professional with [Number] years of experience and I'm currently navigating the job market. I'm really interested in your experience at [Company/Industry] and would appreciate the opportunity to have a brief virtual coffee chat to learn more about your career journey and any advice you might have for someone in my position."
• Resume Updates: While tailoring your resume is crucial, constantly tweaking it for every single application might be contributing to your overwhelm. Perhaps focus on 2-3 core versions that highlight different aspects of your experience and then make minor adjustments for each role.
• Expanding Your Search: Are you looking at roles with slightly different titles that might still align with your skills? Sometimes "Project Coordinator," "Project Analyst," or even roles within specific industries can utilize project management skills.

Regarding Your Daily Routine and Motivation:

• Gentle Re-establishment of Routine: The late wake-up time is a symptom of how you're feeling. Instead of trying to force yourself to wake up early immediately, maybe try setting your alarm 30 minutes earlier each day until you reach a time that feels more manageable. Even a small shift can help.
• Small Wins: Focus on achieving one or two small, manageable tasks each day. This could be applying to one job, spending 30 minutes on your certification, or going for a short walk. Accomplishing something, no matter how small, can build momentum.
• Re-engage with the Gym (Gradually): You mentioned stopping the gym. Physical activity can significantly impact mood and energy levels. Don't aim for your previous intensity right away. Could you manage a short walk or a lighter workout a couple of times a week?
• Structure Your Library Time: Instead of just "working" on your certificate, could you set specific goals for each library session? For example, "Today, I will review Chapter 3 and do 10 practice questions." Having a clear objective can reduce procrastination.
• Don't Punish Yourself for Needing Breaks: You canceled your vacation out of guilt, but sometimes a break is exactly what you need to recharge. While a full vacation might not feel right now, could you schedule small, enjoyable activities for yourself? Even an hour of something you used to enjoy can make a difference.

Regarding Your Feelings and Mindset:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel miserable and stressed. Don't try to push those feelings away. Acknowledge them without letting them completely consume you.
• Small Acts of Self-Care: Even when motivation is low, try to incorporate small acts of self-care. This could be making yourself a proper meal, taking a warm shower, listening to music you enjoy, or spending a few minutes in nature.
• Consider Talking to Someone: If you're feeling consistently down and unmotivated, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and strategies for coping with job search stress and low mood.
• Reframe "Rejection is Redirection": Instead of focusing on the "what direction?" part, maybe think of it as each "no" getting you closer to a "yes." It's a numbers game, and every application is a step forward, even if it doesn't feel like it.

What to do Every Day (Small Suggestions):

• Morning: Try to establish a slightly earlier wake-up time. Have a simple routine – make coffee, read a few pages of a book (not job-related), or do some light stretching.
• Mid-day: Head to the library with a specific goal for your job search or certificate work. Take short breaks.
• Afternoon: Engage in one small enjoyable activity. This could be a walk, listening to a podcast, or pursuing a hobby (even if it's just for 15-20 minutes).
• Evening: Wind down with something relaxing. Avoid intense job searching right before bed.

This is a tough period, but you're taking steps by reaching out and reflecting on your situation. Be kind to yourself, celebrate small victories, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You've got this, and things will eventually turn around. Let's take it one step at a time. What feels like the most manageable small step you could take today?

Boss is really upset because all the interns are leaving, unsure how to navigate this in a professional manner?

Hi. I intern at a company as a receptionist. I am the oldest intern currently in the reception as I got here one year ago.

My one year contract is up and I have decided to not renew it. As a coincidence, the other three interns that are in the same role as me have also decided to leave, two of them who are new. This is after the two previous interns that were in their positions also left way before the end of their contract.

My boss is pretty stressed out and keeps complaining about having lost six interns in one year. She says that if we had patience, we were going to eventually get hired, and that we are being ungrateful.

Now, she is saying to me that I can't do this to her and that I at least owe her to train the new interns. It is making me uncomfortable and making my last weeks pretty awkward. How do I even go about this in a professional manner? Should I just tell her to cut it out? Or just ignore it?

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're in a tough spot, navigating your departure while your boss is understandably stressed about the high intern turnover. It's definitely important to handle this professionally while also protecting your own boundaries. Here's a breakdown of how you can approach this:

Understanding Your Boss's Perspective (Without Taking Responsibility for It)

It's helpful to acknowledge that your boss is likely feeling frustrated and perhaps even a bit panicked about the staffing situation. Losing so many interns in a short period is disruptive. Her comments about patience and ingratitude likely stem from this anxiety and a desire to retain talent. However, her feelings don't obligate you to stay beyond your agreed-upon contract or take on responsibilities that weren't part of your initial agreement.

Your Professional Obligations and Boundaries

• Your Contract: Your one-year contract is ending. You are not obligated to renew it, and your decision is valid.
• Training: While it's often helpful for departing employees to assist with the transition, it's usually negotiated as part of your exit, not demanded as an obligation. You are not inherently owed to train new interns, especially if it wasn't outlined in your initial contract or job description.
• Professionalism: Maintaining a professional demeanor during your remaining weeks is still important for your own reputation and for a smooth exit.

How to Navigate This Professionally

Here's a step-by-step approach you can take:

1. Acknowledge Her Feelings (Briefly and Empathetically): You can start by acknowledging her stress without taking responsibility for the intern departures. For example, you could say something like, "I understand this is a challenging time with several of us leaving." This shows you've heard her concerns.

2. Reiterate Your Decision Firmly and Politely: Clearly and calmly reiterate your decision regarding your contract. You don't need to rehash your reasons, but you can state it simply: "As my one-year contract is coming to an end, I will be moving on as planned."

3. Address the "Owe Her" Comment Directly but Gently: This is where you need to set a boundary. You can say something like:

   • "While I appreciate the opportunity I've had here, my contract is ending, and my plans are to move forward."
   • "I understand your perspective, but my decision not to renew my contract is a personal one."
   • Avoid getting drawn into an argument about whether you "owe" her anything. Stick to the facts of your contract.

4. Address the Training Request Specifically: This is negotiable. Consider your availability and willingness, but don't feel pressured. You could say:

   • "I'm happy to discuss how I can best support the transition during my remaining time here. Perhaps we can identify key tasks and create some documentation?" This offers a compromise without committing to extensive training.
   • "Given that my last day is [Your Last Day], I have limited time. However, I'm willing to [offer a specific, limited form of help, e.g., write down key procedures]."
   • If you genuinely don't have the capacity or don't feel it's your responsibility, you can politely say, "As my contract is ending, my focus needs to be on wrapping up my current responsibilities. Perhaps [Name of someone else, if appropriate] would be a better person to handle the initial training."

5. Maintain Professionalism in Your Remaining Weeks: Even if your boss is being difficult, continue to be polite and professional in your interactions. Focus on completing your current tasks and ensuring a smooth handover of your responsibilities as outlined in your job description. This reflects well on you regardless of your boss's behavior.

6. Limit Personal Discussions: Try to steer conversations back to work-related topics if your boss starts to complain or make personal remarks. You can politely say, "Let's focus on [current task/transition plan] for now."

7. Document (If Necessary): If your boss's behavior becomes increasingly unprofessional or if she makes demands that go significantly beyond your role, it might be wise to keep a record of these interactions (dates, times, what was said). Hopefully, this won't be necessary, but it's good to be prepared.

Should You Tell Her to "Cut It Out" or Ignore It?

• Telling her to "cut it out" could escalate the situation and might not be the most professional approach, even though it might feel tempting.
• Ignoring it completely might not make the awkwardness go away and could be perceived as disrespectful.

A more effective approach is to address her concerns directly and set boundaries as outlined above, while maintaining a professional demeanor.

In Summary:

You are not obligated to stay beyond your contract or take on responsibilities that weren't part of your agreement. Your boss's frustration is understandable, but it doesn't negate your right to move on. By communicating clearly, setting boundaries, and remaining professional, you can navigate these last few weeks with as little discomfort as possible. Good luck with your next endeavors!