9m+ unemployed, freaking out and need some help

M 29, I'm going on 9 months unemployed and this is the first time in my life I am genuinely fearful for my future and well being. My life has come to a complete standstill because I can't get a full time job. Slowly sinking deeper into serious credit card debt. I can't go out socially without the topic of my long term unemployment coming up and bumming people out. Immediate family is starting to get weird and avoid spending time with me because my perpetual state of job searching "makes them sad." My fiancee and I have started talking about calling off the wedding we have been planning to elope because I'm not making any money. It would be devastating to both of us and to our families to have to call it off but we are in agreement about not entering our marriage with debts accrued from a very expensive party.

In 2024 I had multiple interviews go 5+ rounds with case studies but nothing resulted in an offer. Since Jan 1 2025 I have applied to 150+ jobs and have had only 2 interview requests, neither of which even materialized into a real interview. This situation would be easier to stomach if I were dumb, didn't have any potential, or didn't have a professional track record - I do work in tech marketing/content and have experience at two FAANG companies and a fintech startup. I know things have been difficult for the sector but I am usually overqualified for the roles I have been applying for - and cutting it close in the hiring process isn't paying my bills.

I am desperate. I feel sick. I am scared. I'm angry at the whole situation, and jaded by a process that feels like colossal failure on multiple fronts. My friends are kind but unhelpful, and I don't have a mentor I can talk to about what I am going through, how to handle it, or where to go in my career from here. This week things have gotten so empty I started cold-emailing hiring managers about positions I applied to by reverse-engineering their email addresses from publicly available data. I hate everything about the past nine months and just want to be respected as a professional. I applied to go back to school last year to get an MBA and (while I did apply to bigger programs) I was rejected by every school I applied to. I'm starting to have difficulty getting up in the morning because every day I wake up to more rejection emails and I kind of don't want to keep waking up if that's the case. Feeling very empty.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling scared, angry, and empty. Nine months of unemployment, especially with your background and the added pressure of wedding planning and family dynamics, is a huge burden. Please know that your feelings are valid, and you're not alone in this struggle. Many people experience similar difficulties, especially in volatile job markets.

Here's a breakdown of suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

1. Address the Immediate Crisis:

• Financial Planning: This is critical. Contact your credit card companies immediately and explain your situation. Many offer hardship programs, lower interest rates, or payment plans. Explore any government assistance programs available in your area. Create a strict budget, cutting all non-essential expenses. Consider temporary side hustles (freelancing, gig work, even part-time retail) to generate income while you continue your job search. Even a small amount can alleviate some pressure.
• Mental Health: Your mental well-being is paramount. If possible, seek professional help. A therapist can provide coping mechanisms and strategies for managing stress, anxiety, and the feelings of emptiness you described. If therapy isn't immediately accessible, explore free or low-cost mental health resources online or in your community. Don't hesitate to reach out to crisis hotlines if you're having thoughts of self-harm. Your life and well-being are more important than any job or financial situation.
• Communication with Your Fiancee: Be completely open and honest about your feelings and fears. Work together as a team to explore options regarding the wedding. Elope if that feels right for both of you, or find ways to significantly scale down the wedding to make it financially manageable. The most important thing is your relationship, not the party.

2. Revamp Your Job Search Strategy:

• Networking: Leverage your existing network. Reach out to former colleagues, classmates, and professors. Let them know you're looking for work and ask if they know of any openings or can offer advice. Attend industry events (even online ones) to connect with people in your field.
• Targeted Applications: Instead of just sending out 150+ applications, focus on quality over quantity. Tailor your resume and cover letter to each specific job, highlighting the skills and experience that are most relevant. Research the companies you're applying to and demonstrate your understanding of their business.
• Refine Your Resume and Portfolio: Get feedback on your resume and portfolio from career counselors, recruiters, or trusted professionals. Make sure they are optimized for Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) and clearly showcase your accomplishments.
• Practice Your Interview Skills: Practice answering common interview questions, including behavioral questions and those related to your experience at FAANG companies. Consider mock interviews with a career counselor or friend. Be prepared to explain the gap in your employment history in a positive and proactive way (e.g., focusing on skills development, networking, or personal projects).
• Explore Different Roles: Be open to considering roles that might be slightly different from what you've done in the past. Expanding your search can increase your chances of finding a good fit.
• Consider Contract or Temporary Roles: These can provide income and valuable experience while you continue your search for a permanent position.
• Don't Give Up on the MBA: While your recent applications were unsuccessful, don't let that discourage you. Research the reasons for the rejections and work on strengthening your application for future cycles. Perhaps focus on smaller, more accessible programs initially.

3. Address Family Dynamics:

• Open Communication: Have a calm and honest conversation with your family about how their reactions are affecting you. Explain that you understand their concern, but that their avoidance is making the situation worse. Ask for their support and understanding.
• Set Boundaries: It's okay to set boundaries with your family. Let them know that you appreciate their concern, but you're not always up for discussing your job search. Suggest alternative topics of conversation.

4. Remember Your Worth:

• Focus on Your Strengths: You have a strong professional background and valuable skills. Don't let the current situation make you forget that.
• Celebrate Small Victories: Acknowledge and celebrate any progress you make, no matter how small. This could be a successful networking conversation, a well-written cover letter, or a positive interview experience.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Job searching is stressful and can take a toll on your self-esteem. Remember that your worth is not defined by your employment status. Practice self-care activities that bring you joy and help you relax.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be good days and bad days. Focus on what you can control, celebrate your progress, and don't be afraid to ask for help. You've got this.